Quotes (Page 23)!

  1. "An army of evil zombie snowmen! I always knew that"s what would get me!" ~Ron Stoppable
  2. "This is a spooky vampire. He wants to saaaahhhk your blaaaahd. He is a terrifying apparition even though he talks like a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Count Chocula." ~Kingdom of Loathing
  3. "Do you think it"s possible for an entire nation to be insane?" ~Commander Samuel Vimes
  4. "Most of the vampire families were highly nobby. You never knew who was connected to who...not just to who, in fact, but to whom. "Whoms" were likely to be far more trouble than you common, everyday "who"." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  5. "I"ll get that arrow, pretty boy. And I"ll do it with my shirt on." ~Yao
  6. "The four lesser apocalyptical horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance, and Shouting took control of the room, to Corpral Strappi"s obscene glee." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  7. "Polly...cursed herself for the idiot bravado. It must have been the socks talking." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  8. "There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  9. "What"s the good of me trying to teach you stuff if you"re going to keep on asking questions?" ~Corporal Strappi
  10. "It"s all trickery. They keep you down and when the [tick] off another country, you have to fight for them! It"s only your country when they want you to get killed!" ~"Tonker" Halter
  11. "It"s all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that"s all. People see what they think is there." ~Polly Perks
  12. "Anyone who"d tried to unroll a soggy, bleached sausage that"d once been a banknote never wanted to do it twice." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  13. "Good evening, gentleman! Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violence does not come easily to me. It"s not tearing your throats out that doesn"t come easily to me. Please don"t make it any harder." ~Maladict
  14. "I think there"s no rule to stop me beating seven kinds of [stuff] out of you until you tell me why you came here and when the rest of your mates are going to arrive. And that may take me some time, sir, because up until now I"ve only ever discovered five types of [stuff]." ~Sergeant Jackrum
  15. "It took a special kind of man to cut his sword hand with his own sword." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  16. "Polly felt questing eyes boring into her. She was embarrassed, of course. But not for the obvious reason. It was for the other one, the little lesson that life sometimes rams home with a stick: you are not the only one watching the world, other people are also people, while you watch them they watch you, and they think about you while you think about them. The world isn"t just about you." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  17. "Best of luck, lads. You"ll walk with Death every day, but I"ve seen "im and he"s been known to wink. And remember: fill your boots with soup." ~Corporal Threeparts Scallot
  18. "His rabbity features looked unusually determined, as if a hamster had spotted a gap in its treadmill." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  19. "He was teaching Wazzer some of the finer points of using a high-performance pistol crossbow, especially the one about not turning it around with it cocked and saying "w-what is this bit for, Sarge?"" ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  20. "You needed a lack of graphic imagination to talk about personal issues with an Igor." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  21. "Why me? Do I have a little sign on me saying "tell me your troubles"?" ~Polly Perks
  22. "Maladict dropped his crossbow, which fired straight up into the air,* and sat down with his head in his hands. (*And failed to hit anything, especially a duck. This is so unusual in situations like this that it must be reported under new humour regulations. If it had hit a duck, which quacked and then landed on somebody"s head, this would, of course, have been very droll and would certainly have been reported. Instead, the arrow drifted in the breeze a little on the way and landed in an oak tree thirty feet away, where it missed a squirrel.)" ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  23. "There was an old, very old Borogravian song with more Zs and Vs in it than any lowlander could pronounce. It was called "Plogviehze!" It meant "The Sun Has Risen! Let"s Make War!" You needed a special kind of history to get all that in one word." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  24. "Ankh Morpork had overtaken cunning a thousand years ago, had sped past devious, had left artful far behind, and had now, by a roundabout route, arrived at straightforward." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  25. "Tea was an amazingly useful thing. It gave you an excuse to talk to anyone." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  26. "It"s a folk song, it starts with ""twas," it takes place in May, QED, it"s about sex. Is a milkmaid involved? I bet she is." ~Polly Perks
  27. "It is an established fact that, despite everything society can do, girls of seven are magnetically attracted to the colour pink." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  28. "Stopping a battle is much harder than starting it. Starting it only requires you to shout "Attack!", but when you want to stop it, everyone is busy." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  29. "The pen might not be mightier than the sword, but maybe the printing press was heavier than the siege engine." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  30. "Life was a process of finding out how far you could go too far, and you could probably go too far in finding out how far you could go." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  31. "The enemy wasn"t men, or women, or the old, or even the dead. It was just bleedin" stupid people, who came in all varieties. And no one had the right to be stupid." ~Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
  32. "Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  33. "So this was it. It was, in some strange way, rather liberating. You didn"t have to fear the worst that could happen anymore, because this was it, and it was nearly over." ~Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
  34. "There are so few black actors who are working. Nothing makes me happier than to be able to take another black man's job." ~Wayne Brady on The Brady (nee Chappelle) Show
  35. "It sounds like you"re using an adding machine." ~Mother while I was on the computer
  36. "Experience is what you get when you don"t get what you want." ~Mrs. Helmrich
  37. "The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide." ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
  38. "And you convulse and die." ~My Chem professor, very perkily
  39. "Q: What is a cat?" ~My Chem teacher illustrating why abbreviating every other word can be a very bad thing
  40. "Cheap rental lair! They know I have excessive power needs!" ~Dr. Drakken
  41. "Crunchy and spicy has never betrayed me like this before." ~Ron Stoppable
  42. "Year of the Monkey!? How much monkey is one man supposed to take?!" ~Ron Stoppable
  43. "Junior, dating an arch-foe is spitting upon villain tradition. Back to the lair with you!" ~Se"or Senior, Sr.
  44. "Corndogs rock! Why can"t I feel my feet?" ~Ron Stoppable
  45. "I"ve got footsicles!" ~Ron Stoppable
  46. "This does not bode well." ~Ron Stoppable
  47. "You"re an optimist. Always have been." ~Jon Stewart to Lewis Black
  48. "I just made myself laugh." ~Fay
  49. "Ah! there is not in the world a single man free; for he is either a slave to money or to fortune, or else the people in their thousands or the fear of public prosecution prevents him from following the dictates of his heart." ~Hecuba in Hecuba
  50. "Tokyo! I love the French!" ~Ron Stoppable
  51. "Look at this place, Mr. Hornblower. No artiliery would dare to cross here, and if they did, my maMA could beat them off with her parisole." ~Major Edrington
  52. "Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don"t understand." ~Stephen Colbert
  53. "Cory, I want to say that in this, the darkest hour of your youth, I"m trying really hard not to laugh." ~Eric Matthews
  54. "Fredrick, you cannot fight destiny. It"s not done." ~Monkey Fist
  55. "[Darn] this animal! What it needs is a rudder." ~Lieutenant Horatio Hornblower on a horse
  56. "You have her father"s love, Demetrius; let me have Hermia"s. Do you marry him?" ~Lysander
  57. "How low am I, thou...painted maypole? Speak! How low am I? I am not yet so low but than my nails can reach into thine eyes!" ~Hermia
  58. "I feel an exposition of sleep come upon me." ~Nick Bottom, the Weaver
  59. "Never excuse for, when the players are all dead, there need none to be blamed." ~Theseus
  60. "Are you taking a swing at me, cause I"ll come at ya?" ~Jon Stewart to Steven King
  61. "Right now, people are going ,"Happy Steven King...?" Well, maybe someday baseball can kill someone." ~Jon Stewart
  62. "Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair? Or do I not, in plainest truth, tell you I do not, nor I cannot love thee?" ~Demetrius
  63. "The world must be peopled!" ~Benedick
  64. "When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married." ~Benedick
  65. "There"s a double meaning in that." ~Benedick
  66. "You are the coolest kid I know." ~A girl on my floor to a guy on my floor because he managed to stuff an oversized book into his pocket
  67. "And so, Fang convinced Dave to join the Mongrel Hordes by using an ancient mind control technique known as...lying." ~Dave the Barbarian"s Narrator
  68. "Eat delicately seasoned doom!" ~Dave the Barbarian
  69. "For whenso the city has to vote on the question of war, no man ever takes his own death into account, but shifts this misfortune on to his neighbour." ~Theban Herald in The Suppliants
  70. "Rashness in a leader, as in a pilot, causeth shipwreck; who knoweth when to be quiet is a wise man. Yea and this too is bravery, even forethought." ~Theban Herald in The Suppliants
  71. "For this one thing, when once 'tis spent, man cannot recover, the breath of life, though he knoweth ways to get his wealth again." ~Adrastus in The Suppliants
  72. "Courage may be learnt, for even a babe doth learn to speak and hear things it cannot comprehend; and whatso'er a child hath learnt, this it is his wont to treasure up till he is old. So train up your children in a virtuous way." ~Adrastus in The Suppliants
  73. "O god, that I were a man, I would eat his heart in the marketplace!" ~Beatrice
  74. "May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool." ~Benedick
  75. "One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God." ~Benedick
  76. "Recovery efforts will be launched." ~Kenny after I spilled milk everywhere
  77. "...walking was so...excuse the pun...pedestrian." ~Captain Chaotica!!, "Spellbound"
  78. "Still, turning people into another species on a whim and almost killing them with their own weapons is the kind of thing that can come back to haunt a guy..." ~Puck in Captain Chaotica!!"s "Spellbound"
  79. "Don't hit a wall. You'll lose every time." ~Jason
  80. "Hey, finding loopholes in a wish by deliberately misinterpreting the words is pretty much EXPECTED, for a captive magical creature. You obviously haven't read enough fairy tales, bat-lady." ~Puck in Captain Chaotica!!"s "Spellbound"
  81. "What an interesting crowd I run with." ~Fox in Captain Chaotica!!"s "Spellbound"
  82. "Ice fish: Fishing through a foot of ice in below-freezing weather...indicates you have severe anger issues. Look deep within to find out why you need to express your dominance over creatures that can"t talk and have no limbs." ~Larry Samuel, 563 Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives
  83. "Mwah, nothing beats watching old guys beat each other to a bloody pulp without touching each other." ~Duckie while watching Fellowship of the Ring
  84. "Not very determined little Minion of the Evil Overlord, now is he?" ~Duckie while watching Fellowship of the Ring
  85. "Well, if we can put a man on the moon, then surely we can put an elephant on "Oprah."" ~Daria Morgendorffer in The Angst Guy"s "Driving Miss Daria"
  86. "Angst is just for people who aren't ready to jump to cynicism." ~Kenny
  87. "Of course, once we enter the New Year, the truce is over! I"m going to open a big bag of freak on all of you!" ~Dr. Drakken
  88. "All that glitters has a high refractive index." ~Random bumper sticker-esque quote
  89. "Awesome. So in the absence of my own wit, I stand in the refracted glory that is yours." ~Kenny
  90. "When our civilization collapses, future generations will blame testosterone." ~Daria Morgendorffer in The Angst Guy"s "Home on Deranged"
  91. "Both of you girls are riding the glory train bound for the railroad station of graduation, and we"re due to arrive only one year from now. It would be a shame if something happened to cause that glory train of graduation to jump from the trestle of incomplete transcripts and fall into the great, dark canyon of burger flipping." ~Ms. Li in The Angst Guy"s "Home on Deranged"
  92. "It was quite galling to be told not to be rash by a man who had served twelve years in the wizarding prison, Azkaban, escaped, attempted to commit the murder he had been convicted for in the first place, then gone on the run with a stolen hippogriff..." ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  93. "This is night, Diddykins. That"s what we call it when it goes all dark like this." ~Harry Potter
  94. "The one good thing to be said for this [Divination] lesson was that it was not a double period." ~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  95. "You know what? I think we"d better check with Puddlemere United whether Oliver Wood"s been killed during a training session, because [Angelina] seems to be channeling his spirit." ~Harry Potter
  96. "Yes, but the world isn"t split into good people and Death Eaters." ~Sirius Black
  97. "Yeah, you are [still being followed], and just as well, isn"t it, if the first thing you"re going to do on your weekend off is organize an illegal defense group." ~Sirius Black
  98. "Even Fred had said that Ron might yet make him and George proud, and that they were seriously considering admitting that he was related to them, something he assured Ron they had been trying to deny for four years." ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  99. "You try putting up tinsel when Peeves had got the other end and is trying to strangle you with it." ~Ron Weasley
  100. "I always knew your cooking would bring people together. I just thought it would be in the emergency room." ~Tino Tonitini

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