Quotes (Page 24)!

  1. "Just because you"ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn"t mean we all have." ~Hermione Granger to Ron Weasley
  2. "The thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything"s possible if you"ve got enough nerve." ~Ginny Weasley
  3. ""Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl," said Ron, very quietly, proding his knight forward so that she could begin beating up one of Harry"s knights." ~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  4. "And from now on, I don"t care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die - I"m just chucking them in the bin where they belong." ~Ron Weasley
  5. "I"m trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir." ~Harry Potter
  6. "Everyone yells at the TV. The TV deserves it." ~Jane Lane in The Angst Guy"s "Silent Night"
  7. "My verbal skills are no match for your schizophrenia." ~Daria Morgendorffer to Jane Lane in The Angst Guy"s "Family Affairs"
  8. "Friendship is constant in all other things save in the offices and affairs of love." ~Claudio
  9. "I don"t wanna die before I know what "woo" is." ~Shawn Hunter
  10. "On the husband highway, there"s very little forward traffic, just a million well-intentioned men backing up frantically." ~George Feeny
  11. "You know, I"m sick of following my dreams, man. I"m just gonna ask where they"re goin" and hook up with "em later." ~Mitch Hedberg
  12. "Anything tastes like a French fry if you dip it in enough ketchup." ~character in a MadTV sketch
  13. "I"m against picketing, but I don"t know how to show it." ~Mitch Hedberg
  14. "My friend said to me, he said, "I think the weather is trippy," and I said "No, man, it"s not the weather that"s trippy. Perhaps it is the way we perceive it that is, indeed, trippy." Then I thought, "Man, I shoulda just said, "Yeah"."" ~Mitch Hedberg
  15. "Two days, it"s a magical wonderland; three days it"s a frozen hellscape." ~Jon Stewart on snow (I think)
  16. "Yeah, I"m squealing. That"s the sound you make when your friend takes a gun and stabs you in the back right in front of your eyes." ~Shawn Hunter
  17. "Why do people agree to talk to us?" ~Jon Stewart
  18. "Bumperhead Man! I heard you were single and came as quick as I could." ~Jason on Boy Meets World
  19. "Gross and slow. A potent combination." ~Ron Stoppable
  20. "I"m sorry, that"s "buck up morale." With a "b"." ~Jon Stewart
  21. "If pushed, I"d say you"re just slightly less dangerous than lime Jello." ~Eric Matthews
  22. "Thus, I"ve created humour." ~Jon Stewart
  23. "The pi"ata promotes violence towards flamboyant animals." ~Demetri Martin
  24. "Whenever I try to spell "banana," I feel stupid because I don"t know when to end it." ~Demetri Martin
  25. "I was a dorkataur." ~Demetri Martin
  26. "Have you ever seen me shimmy? It"s not pretty." ~Ron Stoppable
  27. "I most certainly am not a burrito." ~Blooregard Q. Kazoo
  28. "I have no problem with change, I just don"t like to be there when it happens." ~Adrian Monk
  29. "If I was joking, it would certainly be a lot funnier than this." ~Adrian Monk
  30. "Not a sea cow! Not a sea cow!" ~Ron Stoppable
  31. "I"m going to Columbia for two weeks over break. Guess what I"m bringing back? [beat] Art, of course." ~My Calc discussion professor
  32. "There are a few more things to compute. They are not that interesting." ~My Calc discussion professor
  33. "[Calc II students] are doing parameterization of curves, too. They don"t know about line integrals, though; they"re stupid." ~My Calc discussion professor
  34. "What are you gonna do to solve it? Are you gonna say "Eek!"?" ~My Chem professor
  35. "[tosses his hands up in the air] That"s all." ~My Chem professor"s last words to us
  36. "Well, Caesar slept with every woman in Rome, and apparently some of the men, as well." ~My Women in Antiquity professor
  37. "He lived a long time, which was to his advantage for several reasons." ~My Women in Antiquity professor
  38. "No. Can"t calm, must panic!" ~Eric Matthews
  39. "Besides, then I get to have [something happen " edited for spoiler content], thereby flying straight into the face of years" worth of fanfic writing tradition and making everybody else HATE me. Life is good. :P" ~Captain Chaotica!!
  40. "Suddenly I wanted to bite Betty, or just sort of pummel her face for quite a long time." ~Rosie Richardson
  41. "His shirt was rolled up over his forearms. His arms and wrists were strong, adult-looking. I had never really thought about wrists before, but suddenly these seemed like the most beautiful wrists I had ever seen, such strong wrists, such manly wrists, such brave wrists, such wondrous wrists." ~Rosie Richardson
  42. "Parents can be bad. That doesn"t mean you get to stab them in the face repeatedly. If you can"t cope with the world and all its suckiness, then get out." ~Answer to a question on the Sorting Hat Quiz
  43. "There"s nothing like someone being nice to you to make you want to cry." ~Rosie Richardson
  44. "But was it a sound plan to get food for the starving by attempting to manipulate a powerful looney? No, really not at all." ~Rosie Richardson
  45. "[O"Rourke] and Oliver seemed to get on quite well at times. Maybe it was sleeping together that did it." ~Rosie Richardson
  46. "than kyou alcholics for teachign preston a vialuable lesson. they also taught me to type." ~Preston
  47. "...and Jeff Bennett, who plays Brooklyn and Owen and eighty other characters on our show, playing The Magus, and keeping them all incredibly distinct. Jeff is, like, one of my favourite guys on the planet." ~Greg Weisman
  48. "That"s Keith [David] at the end there, the bald white guy. Because, as we all know, Keith is a bald white man." ~Greg Weisman
  49. "And [Demona"s] eyes light up red, not because she"s bad, but because she"s a girl." ~Greg Weisman
  50. "There"s something morally ambiguous about this gargoyle...chick." ~Lily on Demona
  51. "Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is that they make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." ~Lord Darlington
  52. "I can resist everything except temptation." ~Lord Darlington
  53. "Oh, nowadays so many conceited people go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this to be said. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn"t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism." ~Lord Darlington
  54. "Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without any exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, but they never become good." ~The Duchess of Berwick in response to "Are all men bad?"
  55. "Sugar plus Preston equals dumb Jason." ~Kenny
  56. "I thought he said "payphones"." ~Duckie to Father"s "...delivering us from pathos"
  57. "You should have used a derivative." ~Duckie to John Preston"s "I merely wanted to optimize."
  58. "If you don"t think, you shouldn"t talk." ~The March Hare
  59. "It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change." ~Alice
  60. "Asia"s in India..." ~Preston, very condescendingly
  61. "I"d say the very best lines are about equally split between [Ron] and Shego"the two sidekicks. Although Shego would probably fry me for calling her that. Actually, she"d probably fry me just because it"s Tuesday and she"s bored, but that"s beside the point." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  62. ""Crazy," you say? Like it was "crazy" to spend the family fortune on radical genetic mutation and dangerous experimental surgery? Like it was "crazy" to become a man-monkey who violates every law of nature and science!? It's a touch unconventional..." ~Monkey Fist
  63. "A place that prides itself on sights should be punished by my not going." ~Ed Robinson on Washington DC
  64. "Po-TA-toes!" ~Samwise Gamgee
  65. "All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end." ~Neil Gaiman, American Gods
  66. "It"s easier to kill people, when you"re dead yourself. I mean, it"s not such a big deal. You"re not so prejudiced anymore." ~Laura in American Gods
  67. "I don"t think the gods ever gave rectal probes. And they didn"t mutilate cows themselves. They got people to do it for them." ~Shadow in American Gods
  68. "Shadow wanted to point out to Mad Sweeny that that was a kind of bitter philosophy, but he suspected it was the being dead that made you bitter." ~Neil Gaiman, American Gods
  69. "What I say is, a town isn"t a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it"s got a bookstore, it knows it"s not fooling a soul." ~Hinzelmann
  70. "This isn"t about what is. It"s about what people think is. It"s all imaginary anyway. That"s why it"s important. People only fight over imaginary things." ~Mr. Nancy
  71. "You don"t worry. Nobody else is going to kill you. Nobody but me." ~Czernobog
  72. "Not only are there no happy endings, there aren"t even any endings." ~Bast
  73. "Religions are places to stand and look and act, vantage points from which to view the world." ~Neil Gaiman, American Gods
  74. "One describes a tale best by telling the tale. You see? The way one describes a story, to oneself or to the world, is by telling the story. It is a balancing act and it is a dream. The more accurate the map, the more it resembles the territory. The most accurate map possible would be the territory, and thus would be perfectly accurate and perfectly useless. The tale is the map that is the territory. You must remember this." ~Mr. Ibis
  75. "The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies." ~Neil Gaiman, American Gods
  76. "He wondered whether home was a thing that happened to a place after a while, or if it was something that you found in the end, if you simply walked and waited and willed it long enough." ~Neil Gaiman, American Gods
  77. "i'll spell it hte Person way" ~Preston, managing somehow to mangle not only the word "the," but his own name, as well
  78. "Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it." ~Peregrin Took
  79. "Normally, I"d say that suspicion and paranoia are bad, but that"s what saved us." ~Ron Stoppable
  80. "Okay, I haven"t just broken a sweat, I"ve shattered it into a thousand pieces." ~Lor McQuarrie
  81. "You are teetering on the precipice with this "Pumpkin Pie" thing, my friend." ~Tino Tonitini
  82. "I think I can promise you that, if you call yourself "Shazzy Zang," we will never stop laughing." ~Tino Tonitini
  83. "I really wish you"d have done that in the other sink, Darlin"." ~Mr. McQuarrie
  84. "Oh, yeah, did I mention that Phillip is an unholy, crushing vortex of BOREDOM?!" ~Tino Tonitini
  85. "Chocolate covered french fries, where have you been all my life?" ~Carver DesCartes
  86. "No, the least we can do is nothing. Trust me; I"ve done the math." ~Carver DesCartes
  87. "There are words to describe how stupid that is, but if I said them, they"d get bleeped." ~Lula
  88. "Man, if we start trying to figured out why the cool kids do what they do, we"ll go crazy." ~Tish Katsufrakus
  89. "I"ve found that it usually means trouble anytime you have to make up a story involving a freak circus accident." ~Tino"s mom
  90. "I was trying to accidentally bump into her!" ~Tino Tonitini
  91. "Alright, I"ll have some fun. But I won"t enjoy it!" ~Tino Tonitini
  92. "Teachers in robes. That"s like number six on my list of things that give me nightmares. Right between hippos and boy bands." ~Tino Tonitini
  93. "Ah, these things happen. To me." ~Ron Stoppable
  94. "If a man was able to read a woman"s mind, that would doom civilization. No one would have children, nations would fall, and we"d be at the mercy of the coyotes and possums." ~Daria Morgendorffer in The Angst Guy"s "The Thirteenth Man"
  95. "The Republican Party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing the candidates to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh weather of independent thought." ~America (the Book): A Citizen"s Guide to Democracy Inaction
  96. ""[Hearst and Pulitzer]"s blend of fiction, bigotry and jingoism became known as yellow journalism. Later, the phrase was shortened to "journalism."" ~America (the Book): A Citizen"s Guide to Democracy Inaction
  97. "Exactly where television originated is a mystery, though most scholars believe Prometheus stole it from the gods and gave it to the RCA Victor Company." ~America (the Book): A Citizen"s Guide to Democracy Inaction
  98. "New Zealand boasts a remarkable 50 sheep for every Orc." ~America (the Book): A Citizen"s Guide to Democracy Inaction
  99. "You don"t need the right facts if you have the right inflection." ~Stephen Colbert
  100. "And this is the scene where we felt we should kill Sean Bean, no reason, just it's his role." ~Kenny discussing casting Sean Bean as Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultry Pulsifer in Good Omens

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