Quotes (Page 25)!

  1. "I just got locked out by the way trying to get my pizza. Very dumb of me. But i was so excited that there was pizza at the door... AND for me. And cheesy and saucy and greasy and mmmmmmmm-y" ~Steven
  2. "The fact that the planet still has a functioning biosphere is not our fault." ~My Physics professor on physicists
  3. "You"re trying to pretend like you"re one of the humans, but you"re not fooling anyone. They may not be able to answer the problems, but they recognize a geek when they see one." ~My Physics professor
  4. "Humans can be trained to perform simple tasks if we continually reinforce them." ~My Physics professor
  5. "Every point you earn is one we lose." ~My Physics prof explaining his grading policy
  6. "Wow. That doesn"t look much like acceleration due to gravity, does it?" ~My Physics prof when he experimentally found g to equal 15 m/s2
  7. " It"s Friday, the night the humans engage in their irrelevant social activities. We must fortify ourselves." ~My Physics prof
  8. "Nuclear Wings of Excruciating Gastric Death" ~My Bio professor on particularly vicious hot wings
  9. "Reproduction is the meaning of life." ~My Bio professor unintentionally justifying many aspects of a Monty Python film
  10. "It"s uncomfortable, man. It might be vestigial, but it hurts." ~My Bio professor on injuring the coccyx
  11. "That sucks because stones hurt." ~My Sociology teacher commenting on stoning
  12. "We"re going to talk about murder all day today. I like murder. Murder is good for our society." ~My Sociology teacher
  13. "I don"t have a real job. I get paid to stand up here and talk. It"s pretty cool. Try to charge someone a dollar to hear you talk sometime." ~My Sociology teacher
  14. "Poor Siegfried. Poor [guy]. Big tiger. Big cat. Claws, teeth, kill you, sucks." ~My Sociology teacher
  15. "Negative one and one will annihilate each other..." ~My Diff EQs professor
  16. "We don"t posses the tools to read the code because we are, for better or worse, no longer Medieval." ~My Poetry professor
  17. "There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don"t." ~A t-shirt
  18. "Oh, I"m sorry...Did you want to rant some more?" ~Shego
  19. "So that"s what happened to the fish." ~Shego
  20. "This isn"t one of your stupid science-fiction games, Larry! Ron"s facing a kung-fu mutant with bioengineered hands and mystical monkey pow...here." ~Kim Possible
  21. "Now, boys, I won't have any airborne vegetables at the dinner table. Use the launch pad in the yard." ~Dr. Mr. Possible
  22. "We"ll sleep when we"re dead." ~A character from Battlestar Galactica whose name I have not yet determined
  23. "Hee hee. [Jamie Bamber] is sooo hot. *melts into puddle* That was his hotness melting my cells." ~Duckie
  24. "Once again, I"ve alienated our target demographic." ~Duck Dodgers after singing a song to the tune of "Suwannee River"
  25. "I don't like anything that puts a man on his knees." ~Sir Launcelot on religion in King Arthur
  26. "Imagine what a lovely, quiet place the world would be if everyone had their throats slit." ~Sir Galahad in King Arthur
  27. "The string theorists haven"t told me what dimension we"re in today, so this may not work." ~My Physics prof before conducting an experiment
  28. "Suppose we were out violating animal rights..." ~My Physics prof on the Monkey-Gun Problem
  29. "You"ve Topanga"d me to death, man!" ~Eric Matthews to Cory
  30. "I want you in pants!" ~Eric Matthews to Cory
  31. "Pippin has a sexxy voice, and that counts for a lot... Cause he's still sexxy when you close your eyes." ~Duckie
  32. "It"s got Irene, it"s got soup, it"s got pie, why should I leave?" ~Eric Matthews
  33. "I"m the Prince of Sprinkleland." ~Cory Matthews
  34. "Humans suffering from a conflict of signals aren"t the best people to be holding guns, especially when they"ve just witnessed a natural childbirth, which definitely looked an un-American way of bringing new citizens into the world." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  35. "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  36. "Anathema owned very little in the way of furniture. The only thing she"d bothered to bring with her had been her clock, one of the family heirlooms. It wasn"t a full-cased grandfather clock, but a wall clock with a free-swinging pendulum that E.A. Poe would cheerfully have strapped someone under." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  37. "When most people said "I"m psychic, you see," they meant "I have an over-active but unoriginal imagination/wear black nail varnish/talk to my budgie"; when Anathema said it, it sounded as though she was admitting to a hereditary disease which she"d much prefer not to have." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  38. "Courting is always difficult when the one being courted has an elderly female relative in the house; they tend to mutter or cackle or bum cigarettes or, in the worst cases, get out the family photograph album, an act of aggression in the sex war which ought to be banned by a Geneva Convention. It"s much worse when the relative has been dead for three hundred years." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  39. "Newt had indeed been harboring certain thoughts about Anathema; not just harboring them, in fact, but dry-docking them, refitting them, giving them a good coat of paint, and scraping the barnacles off their bottom." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  40. "The manuals were still in their transparent wrapping.* (*Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn"t work, 2) didn"t do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electro the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly, and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself to be lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufaturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser"s own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extrememly impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys."" ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  41. "Hastur was paranoid, which was simply a sensible and well-adjusted reaction to living in Tartarus, where they really were all out to get you." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  42. "It was nice to think that mankind made a distinction between blowing their planet to bits by accident and doing it by design." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  43. "Loyalty was a great thing, but no lieutenants should be forced to chose between their leader and a circus with elephants." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  44. "Only Robin would have a profile beginning with "Wise words from the antichrist" and not be blaspheming." ~Gesture
  45. "You meet these people who are confident all the time. They annoy me. And I wonder if it's because I'm envious or if it's because they're shallow." ~Guy Pearce
  46. "I don't care much about the money at all. Frankly, if I get the chance to kiss someone in a movie, they wouldn't need to pay me at all." ~Orlando Bloom
  47. "I was told I had to gain a lot of weight because Hobbits are very portly. Peter is forever suggesting I have more food. 'A little more food for Mr. Astin.'" ~Sean Astin
  48. "You want me to date a townie? Oh, that is great, Mom. I can see "em right now, sitting on their couch in their ratty bathrobe, watching daytime tv and eating bonbons. [beat] There are coco puffs. And I"m a detective." ~Eric Matthews
  49. "How has it all affected me? I'm becoming incredibly arrogant and selfish and self-absorbed and I want ALL of the green M&M's taken out of my packets, so watch out!" ~Sam Rockwell
  50. "Is it crazier to act weird because you _are_ completely out of your gourd and can't HELP it...or to be with-it enough to be self aware at least, aware of the world around you...and deliberately _choose_ to act weird? Cos I think Monty Fiske is in the _second_ category--he's more a Quackerjack than a Megavolt in that sense--so if it's crazier to sanely, rationally _choose_ to act nuts, then he is even more "wack" than he seems at first. Which is pretty darn "wack."" ~Captain Chaotica!!
  51. "Remember when I said that Quackerjack was "creepy, but creepy with a touch of _class_?" Well, Monkey Fist is basically class with a touch of creep." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  52. "'Saruken-sama'... Guaranteed to make people on BOTH sides of the (coughtotallystupidcough) Anime Vs. Disney war rip you straight to _shreds_. ...why do you think I LIKE it? :)" ~Captain Chaotica!! on her nickname for Lord Monkey Fist
  53. "Anything that gets normally costume-shy little Joelie to dress up...in DRAG no less...is fine by me.... ;)" ~Captain Chaotica!! on "Jungle Goddess"
  54. "Air and Water can just swirl around being swirly, and Fire is just kind of aggressive, but my gut feeling is that Earth needs to work for a living. Earth has stuff to be doing. Earth is busy. Earth is solid and responsible and works hard. Earth is reliable. Earth is the designated driver of the elements and will always come over and feed the cat when you're out of town." ~Ursula Vernon
  55. "I would seriously mortgage my home/life for [a replicator]." ~Hillary
  56. "I have no water, my brain doesn"t function." ~Fay
  57. "This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite." ~Jon Stewart
  58. "I"ve got a website, and I"m not afraid to use it." ~Kim Possible
  59. "Just do your computer thing, nerdlinger." ~Shego
  60. "I"m with the big guy: mad love for the super-strength!" ~Ron Stoppable
  61. "Look, I just don"t want to lose to a giant flamingo." ~Shego rationalizing her sudden willingness to help Kim Possible
  62. "Did they just swear him in as Pesident or Dungeon Master?" ~Jon Stewart
  63. "Tonight I am going with my wife to a Democratic party, where we"re going to...try to be happy." ~Senator Joseph Lieberman on January 20, 2005
  64. "You see, son, if all of our customers are dead from falling off a cliff, the business is going to fall off, too." ~Alan Matthews
  65. "If we could just get beyond that little nagging moral issue that all those people are going to die, we could be very successful." ~Eric Matthews
  66. "I wasn"t lookin" at its feet; I was a bit preoccupied with its heads!" ~Ron Weasley
  67. "I lent "im to Dubledore to guard the"I shouldn"t have said that." ~Rubius Hagrid
  68. "If they were hare-brained, they"d be clever!" ~Mr. Harriman
  69. "Now, if you"ll excuse me, I"ve got to go catch my naked friend." ~Blooregard Q. Kazoo
  70. "Did the little naked guy just say "It burns us"?" ~Ashley
  71. "I like to dance, but I didn"t like to dance to that, cause it looks like...you"ve been stung by wasps." ~Dominic Monaghan on raves
  72. "You teach a class, you do things to entertain yourself, not your students." ~My Bio prof on using copious amounts of smilie faces in his diagrams
  73. "I"ve turned into just as much of a nerd [as my professors]. Watchin" Star Trek...You know, the philosophical Star Trek. Next Generation." ~My Bio prof
  74. "Okay, think of that episode of South Park..." ~Words I hoped I"d never hear in a lecture on reproductive barriers
  75. "He"s more of a leg tapper than a claw flicker." ~My Bio prof on fiddler crabs
  76. "I gotta show some arm waving, man. This is, like, the highlight of the semester." ~My Bio prof on fiddler crabs
  77. "I don"t know why this is funny, but it really is." ~Guy in my Bio class putting words to everyone"s thoughts as we watched multiple videos of fiddler crab mating rituals
  78. "There"s nothing like lights wrapped around palm trees." ~My Sociology teacher on why Florida rocks everywhere else in America (save maybe South Texas and Hawaii)
  79. "If you were a Martian and came down to this planet and saw two people kissing, you would think one person was trying to swallow the other." ~My Sociology teacher
  80. "Ugly people can groom, too." ~My Sociology teacher
  81. "What were the symptoms of the idiocy?" ~My Poetry professor
  82. "How frequently do you say this word?" ~My Poetry prof prompting us to determine where the emphasis goes in "tumult"
  83. "[My aim] is not to make you quibbling, prosaic metrical analysts." ~My Poetry prof
  84. "It must not contain any jokey little viruses..." ~My Poetry prof on sending papers via email
  85. "The first one is [nonsense]. You won"t use it." ~My Physics discussion instructor on Newton"s Laws
  86. "Is it extinct?" ~Lt. Randy Disher about a live fish
  87. "Does anybody but Randy have any ideas?" ~Captain Leeland Stottlemeyer
  88. "You cannot have my DNA! I have a no-cloning clause in my contract!" ~Shego
  89. "To clone any one of you would be a crime against humanity that even I"m incapable of..." ~Dr. Drakken
  90. "The problem with developing crushes on the dark, brooding types is that they're so ... y'know, dark and annoyingly broody." ~Draca Darkwingette
  91. "Yes. I am definitely hanging up on you." ~Duckie after I told her that I didn"t have to go to class until 9:30
  92. "It's like x didn't have enough to do so they had to promise it more. We will give you a cool starring role in tic-tac-toe, and you will be equated with hugs and kisses, and you will mark the spot. And you will make writing Christmas easier." --Mitch Hedberg
  93. "Tom closed his eyes and wished someone would shoot him. Not fatally, but just enough to stop the conversation." ~The Angst Guy, "Smoking Mirror"
  94. "With real people, like a family..." ~Mom
  95. "[Hamsters are] easily hidable though...just stick it in a sock if you have too." ~Hillary on avoiding pet fees
  96. "Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?" ~Stephen Colbert on Jews for Jesus
  97. "You cannot judge a book by its contents." ~Jon Stewart
  98. "When machines start delivering themselves, I guess that"s when the people better start really worrying." ~Director in "Who Am I This Time?"
  99. "He covered his shyness by speaking absently"as though he were a secret agent pausing briefly on a mission between beautiful, distant, and sinister points. This manner of speaking had always been Newt"s style, even in matters that concerned him desperately." ~Kurt Vonnegut, "Long Walk to Forever"
  100. "I wonder now what Ernest Hemmingway"s dictionary looked like, since he got along so well with dinky words that everybody can spell and truly understand." ~Kurt Vonnegut, "New Dictionary"

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