Quotes (Page 27)!

  1. "Looking back makes me shiver. Don"t be scared to kick the past." ~"Trust Me," Elton John
  2. "I'd say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of attention span." ~"Unfinished," Ed Robertson and Steven Page
  3. "Now I lay me down not to sleep, I just get tangled in the sheets. I swim and sweat three inches deep; I just lay back and claim defeat." ~"Who Needs Sleep," Ed Robertson and Steven Page
  4. "We all know it's the cheesiest, so you can call it Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Kraft Cheese and Macaroni, or just shut up and call it Kraft Dinner like we do up in Canada." ~Steven Page
  5. "You"re an unwelcome pollinator." ~My Bio prof on tasting honeysuckle
  6. "This is not a taxonomic group, this is more of a trashcan." ~My Bio prof on imperfect fungi
  7. "Wow. Cinderblock"s hard." ~My Bio prof after demonstrating what might happen if all of his sensory structures were in his knee
  8. "We should all be glad that we have a complete gut. Think of the poor cnidarians." ~My Bio prof
  9. "I don"t care what you eat, you"re eating a nematode." ~My Bio teacher, gleefully
  10. "Extra credit " someone get a Guinea worm and show us if it moves." ~My Bio prof
  11. "Every animal can kill you; that was the lesson we got from the seventies." ~My Bio prof
  12. "Is time to see in flesh...you know, in numbers..." ~My Diff EQs prof
  13. "You have to have a very particular prerogative to address anyone as "Son of Man"." ~My Poetry prof on T.S. Elliot"s "The Wasteland"
  14. "[He"s making you] un-the [Tartarus]-certain who is speaking at any given moment." ~My Poetry prof on T.S. Elliot"s "The Wasteland"
  15. "I feel sorry for you! I'm going to make your job pure [Tartarus] right now!" ~Ed Robertson to a sign language interpreter during "One Week"
  16. "I'm not a very good human ... but I'm a very sexy Hobbit!" ~Ed Robertson, bizarrely enough
  17. "'One Week' changed my life because I used to be the Million Dollars Guy, and now I'm the Chickity China Guy." ~Ed Robertson
  18. "I like sporks. They're like spoons, but you can poke people with them." ~Ed Robertson
  19. "I hate sports. My reaction to the ball is this *kicks soccer ball* Don't kick it back to me. I don't wanna see it again." ~Steven Page
  20. "I love Krispy Kreme donuts, but doesn't the thought of cream that's crispy just churn your stomach?" ~Steven Page
  21. "I was always the quietest one in the family and I ended up in a rock band, go figure." ~Kevin Hearn
  22. "If I'm looking really intense, it's not because I'm trying to be mystical. It's because I'm thinking "[Dagnabit], that was supposed to be a 7th chord"." ~Ed Robertson
  23. "I"d like to make clear that no instruments were mistreated during this time as we are, and continue to be, respectful, professional and, last but not least, resourceful musicians." ~Ronnie Vannucci
  24. "I'm having a mid-life crisis, so I thought instead of having sex with a stranger, I'd just get a new haircut. It's good clean fun without all the messy emotional baggage. It's just a haircut folks! It's not like I had an eye removed, or a leg added on! Live a little... it'll grow back!" ~Ed Robertson
  25. "We like our two- or three-syllable rhymes." ~Ed Robertson
  26. "That"s the way I relate to the world. In dire, depressing times, I look for the smile in the situation--not to make it go away, but to cope with it. I have always approached life like that, and so those lines are more to emphasize the cloud inside the silver lining. It serves to illustrate the direness of the situation. If I am cracking jokes about it, I am trying to cheer myself up." ~Ed Robertson on "Pinch Me"
  27. "You're, like, saving those persecuted refugees here, man. It's not a service, it's, like, a thing that i dunno a word for." ~Jason
  28. "[I"m saying that your music] has tar-paper consistency. Or that it's like auditory sand-paper." ~Kenny
  29. "You ever see a cat go fetch a stick? You threw the stick, you can fetch it yourself!" ~The Cat
  30. "[We hang out with Kenny and Jason] because we love them and they are awesome. And they make us look better by comparison." ~Kat
  31. "We had sold nearly one million records in Canada, appeared on every TV show and in pretty much every newspaper in the country, and had toured relentlessly for three years solid. Still, we felt resented, somehow, by most of the music industry, as if it saw us as a success story that it was obliged to acknowledge, but also an embarrassment it wished would go away, or grow up, or something. A comedy band winning Junos? Who could imagine such a thing? We felt slighted, and, like the young punks that we were deep inside, we said "Comedy? You want comedy?" and proceeded to give them comedy by dressing in full clown makeup and costumes to perform our song Box Set, a satire of the business end of music. I guess you could say we weren't very co-operative." ~Steven Page
  32. "I remember a point when I when I said, "Guys - no swearing on stage. Let"s not swear on stage."" ~Ed Robertson
  33. "I sometimes think 'Gordon' must be the most bootlegged album in U.S history, since it sold only 200,000 copies in the country, yet 800,000 kids know the words to every song." ~Steven Page
  34. "We watch [the "Enid"] video now and go 'No wonder people hated us.'" ~Ed Robertson
  35. "I'm easily amused, and I help run a Barenaked Ladies web page. That means I can waste bandwith on whatever the [smeg] I want." ~mysd.org
  36. "Steve seems a little miffed about being upstaged by a man with a flaccid fauxhawk." ~mysd.org on the "Another Postcard" video
  37. "Sometimes people also describe us as 'intelligent.' And 'you guys are really clever.' That kind of thing. Which means we don't sing, 'baby ooh baby,' or 'we got two turntables and a microphone.'" ~Tyler Stewart
  38. "Just think of guys as bugs." ~Duckie, completely apropos of nothing
  39. "I'm glad [you found it entertaining]. Cause it felt stupid coming out of my fingers." ~Duckie
  40. "I can't be responsible for my spelling, I'm grieving" ~Marshall
  41. "You use the intellect, but you no longer care about it. That I call stupidity." ~Uncle Ernst
  42. "In other words, they belong to types that can fall in love, but couldn"t live together. That"s dreadfully probable. I"m afraid that in nine cases out of ten Nature pulls one way and human nature another." ~Margaret Schlegel
  43. "[Mrs. Wilcox] and daily life were out of focus: one or the other must show blurred." ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  44. "Cynicism " not the cynicism that snarls and sneers, but the cynicism that can go with courtesy and tenderness " that was the note of Mrs. Wilcox"s will." ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  45. "A funeral is not death, any more than baptism is birth or marriage union." ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  46. "The more people one knows, the easier it becomes to replace them." ~Margaret Schlegel
  47. "I can only do what"s easy. I can only entice and be enticed. I can", and won"t, attempt difficult relations. If I marry, it will either be a man who"s strong enough to boss me or whom I"m strong enough to boss. So I shan"t ever marry, for there aren"t such men. And Heaven help any one whom I do marry, for I shall certainly run away from him before you can say "Jack Robinson." There!" ~Helen Schlegel
  48. "And [Margaret] herself"hovering as usual between the two, now accepting men as they are, now yearning with her sister for Truth. Love and Truth"their warfare seems eternal. Perhaps the whole visible world rests on it, and if they were one, life itself, like the spirits when Prospero was reconciled to his brother, might vanish into air, into thin air." ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  49. "If we lived for ever, what you say would be true. But we have to die, we have to leave life presently. Injustice and greed would be the real thing if we lived for ever. As it is, we must hold to other things because Death is coming. I love Death"not morbidly, but because He explains. He shows me the emptiness of Money. Death and Money are the eternal foes. Not Death and Life. Never mind what lies behind Death, Mr. Bast, but be sure that the poet and the musician and the tramp will be happier in it than the man who has never learnt to say "I am I"." ~Helen Schlegel
  50. "Are the sexes really races, each with its own code of morality, and their mutual love a mere device of Nature to keep things going? Strip human intercourse of the proprieties, and is it reduced to this?" ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  51. "Tibby sighed and felt it rather hard that, because of his open mind, he should be empanelled to serve as juror. He had never been interested in human beings, for which one must blame him, but he had rather too much of them at Wickham Place. Just as some people cease to attend when books are mentioned, so Tibby"s attention wandered when "personal relations" came under discussion. Ought Margaret to know what Helen knew the Basts to know? Similar questions had vexed him from infancy, and at Oxford he had learned to say that the importance of human beings has been vastly overrated by specialists." ~E.M. Forster, Howards End
  52. "You strike me as the kind of guy who would jump off of things." ~Jon Stewart to a very confused Matthew McConaughey
  53. "[I thought], "I"ve got to float the Amazon." So I did. Did that, met great people. They were not Africans." ~Matthew McConaughey
  54. "You"re the freakiest dude I"ve ever met." ~Jon Stewart to Matthew McConaughey
  55. "I wish the real world would just stop hassling me." ~Matchbox 20, "Real World"
  56. "How is this for a definition of high art: "Making the most of the raw materials of futility"?" ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  57. "Just because something can reproduce, that doesn"t mean it should reproduce." ~Jack Patton
  58. "I tried to give the most honest answer I could to any question anyone might care toe put to me. Otherwise I stayed silent. I volunteered no advice at Athena, and none in Scipio under siege. I simply described the truth of the inquirer"s situation within the context of the world outside as best I could. What he did next was up to him. I call that being a teacher. I don"t call that being a mastermind of a treasonous enterprise. All I ever wanted to overthrow was ignorance and self-serving fantasies." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  59. "Let them wonder, as I had when I walked into the spider web, what on Earth had happened to their previously dependable, forgiving Universe." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  60. "We could have saved it, but we were too doggone cheap." ~Ed Bergeron"s epitaph for the planet
  61. "People are never stronger than when they have thought up their own arguments for believing what they believe. They stand on their own 2 feet that way." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  62. "If there really had been a Mercutio, and if there really were a Paradise, Mercutio might be hanging out with teenage Vietnam draftee casualties now, talking about what it felt like to die for other people"s vanity and foolishness." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  63. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~Hamlet
  64. "Plutonium! Now there"s the stuff to put hair on a microbe"s chest." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  65. "Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance." ~Eugene Debs Hartke
  66. "[Freedom of speech] isn"t something somebody else gives you. That"s something you have to give yourself." ~Dr. Helen Dole
  67. "What makes so many Americans proud of their ignorance? They act as though their ignorance somehow made them charming." ~Dr. Helen Dole
  68. "Another loud string of language exploded from the far end of the room. Karen described, in graphic language, the computer's interspecies parentage, unorthodox sexual habits, and several bovine internal organs." ~Richard Lobinske"s "Chosin Fate"
  69. "People! Take to the streets and scream 'BE REASONABLE!'" ~Jon Stewart on political moderates
  70. "Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'" ~Jon Stewart
  71. "As for Ed - rhymes with "dead." Nuff said." ~Steve Page when asked why Ed Robertson hadn"t been answering fan questions at the BNL blog in a while
  72. "First I kill myself, then I find out I"m a hunk of dork. Not a good day to be me." ~Church
  73. "Actually, Donut, I don"t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a pre-pubescent monkey actually qualifies as help. But it sure was entertaining." ~Sarge
  74. "Yeah. Keep making jokes. That"ll win the war." ~Griff
  75. "Wait. I think today is actually a good day to retreat. Can"t we push "dying" to a week from Friday?" ~Griff
  76. "I wouldn"t really call us "friends." We"re more like acquaintances, or people who work with other people they hate." ~Tucker
  77. "I"m no stranger to sarcasm, sir." ~Griff
  78. "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity." ~Bill Vaughan
  79. "Whoever thought the future would feel so much like the present?" ~Ed Robertson
  80. "The Internet is awesome because it"s...there." ~Steven Page
  81. "We're like Paris Hilton, except...more like Kansas City Airport Hilton" ~Steven Page
  82. "It always comes down to this: a crazy gentile with a gun." ~Miles Silverberg
  83. "There will always be another rat. Now: onward. Things to do. People to damage." ~Mr. Croup
  84. "Richard had noticed that events were cowards: they didn"t occur singly, but instead they would run in packs and leap out at him all at once." ~Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere
  85. "The boy had the towering arrogance only seen in the greatest of artists and all nine-year-old boys." ~Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere
  86. "When angels go bad, Richard, they go worse than anyone." ~The Marquis de Carabas
  87. "Metaphors failed him, then. He had gone beyond the world of metaphor and smilie into the place of things that are, and it was changing him." ~Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere
  88. "I'll handle this - I'm British; I know how to queue." ~Arthur Dent
  89. "Oh, money hardly ever hurts. Unless vast quantities are dropped on you from a significant height. Even then, there is no problem, if, like me, you have no skeleton to speak of." ~The Cilk in Tom Gerencer"s "Not Quite Immaculate"
  90. "You speak of gaining additional cargo room and cleaning house, Alinore, said Axtell, perhaps still stung by my criticism of all the junk on the lower level especially since it was junk and thus indefensible." ~Alinore in Ralph Roberts" "A Woman"s Touch"
  91. "Men. Throw two of them at the sun and one will strive to get there first"they are so competitive." ~ Alinore in Ralph Roberts" "A Woman"s Touch"
  92. "Men are never around when you want them to be, and exceptionally hard to get rid of when their welcome is worn out." ~Alinore in Ralph Roberts" "A Woman"s Touch"
  93. "There"s nothing prejudiced about the truth; it simply exists. It"s when we try to deny the truth that we tend to reveal our biases." ~Donna Danner in Jack Nimersheim"s "Maternal Instincts"
  94. "Sometimes, it"s about who you"re going to be when it all works out, and your responsibility to that moment outweighs whatever you think you want now." ~Mom in David Gerrold"s "Digging in Gehenna"
  95. "It is curious that we Americans have a holiday"Thanksgiving"that"s all about people who left their homes for a life of their own choosing, a life that was different from their parents" lives. And how do we celebrate it? By hanging out with our parents! It"s as if on the Fourth of July we honored our independence from the British by barbequing crumpets." ~Sarah Vowell, "The First Thanksgiving"
  96. "I"m standing at the cutting board chopping sage and it hits me what it means that [my mother] is letting me be in charge of the dressing: I am going to die. Being in charge of the dressing means you are a grown-up for real, and being a grown-up for real means you"re getting old and getting old means you are definitely, finally, totally going to die. My mother is a grandmother and my sister is a mother and I have decided the dressing will be yellow this year, therefore, we"ll all be dead some day." ~Sarah Vowell, "The First Thanksgiving"
  97. "Do I contradict myself?/Very well then I contradict myself,/(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" ~Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"
  98. "I think the only reason seemingly every man, woman, and child in America goes to see [Tom Cruise"s] movies is not that he blinds us with beauty or talent or emotion. We can"t take our eyes off him because he makes us a little nervous. Not too nervous"that"s why we invented Dennis Hopper. Cruise makes us stealth nervous, just jittery enough to keep us awake." ~Sarah Vowell, "Tom Cruise Makes Me Nervous"
  99. "When the cute little kid in Jerry Maguire gave [Tom] Cruise a hug, my first reaction was parental. I wanted to grab the chid away, scolding, "We don"t do that. We don"t touch burning stoves, strangers" candy, and we do not touch Tom Cruise."" ~Sarah Vowell, "Tom Cruise Makes Me Nervous"
  100. "Maybe sometimes, in quiet moments of reflection, my mom would prefer that I not burn eternally in the flames of hell when I die, but otherwise she wants me to follow my own heart." ~Sarah Vowell, "The Partly Cloudy Patriot"

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