Quotes (Page 28)!

  1. "Robin, you're my heroine. But not heroin. Because that"s bad." ~Lily
  2. "If you hit someone with a rock, the message is clear and not subject to misinterpretation or spin." ~Daria Morgendorffer in Richard Lobinske"s "Nine-Eleven and Counting"
  3. "I"m either a t-rex or Ryan Styles being a woman." ~Duckie
  4. "Infinitrillion...yeah. That"s a lot." ~Duckie, attempting to quantify either the number of baby hamsters in the world or the number of hours it takes to watch Return of the King
  5. "I wonder if they got a stunt double to do that. If they did, I will kick [Rachel Weisz]. I think it would be fun to have Brendan Fraser throw me into the ocean...or the river." ~Duckie
  6. "Maybe his skin was just like..."Bleuch"." ~Duckie on Imhotep
  7. "Rick really isn"t nice...And Ardeth puts up with him. He could just be like, "You know what? I hate you," and shoot him, then go save the world." ~Duckie
  8. "It"s kinda hard to hear you over the sound of your constant team-killing." ~Tucker
  9. "I don"t really see how not killing someone is the same as doing them a favour." ~Church
  10. "That"s part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn"t really move around much. Maybe you haven"t fully grasped the concept yet." ~Tucker
  11. "Does this involve a donut somehow? [beat] Oh." ~Duckie, reading the title of "A Slightly Crueler Cruller" just before Donut reappears
  12. "It's that horrible "boonk" noise it makes when it hits the [phracking] floor." ~Simon Le Bon on dropping the mic during a concert
  13. "I like my little army of ducks..." ~Duckie
  14. "I"ve never said "I love you" because I"m afraid no one will say it back." ~Murphy Brown
  15. "He can"t do it! Jim"s more neurotic than I am!" ~Miles Silverberg
  16. "This is our school! I"m not turning my back. I sleep here every day!" ~Shawn Hunter
  17. "It"s true. If I cared enough, I"d dress like a dead guy, too." ~Tom Sloane
  18. "The only people who know about me are people who would know about me." ~Sarah Vowell
  19. "No one I know actually reads what I write, so thank heavens for you strangers." ~Sarah Vowell
  20. "There, you see what a forever mind-and-soul-scarring experience High School is? Just a brief MENTION of nasty gym teachers in general from somebody I don't even know, in an article I'm reading on the Internet _fifteen years later_, and all the old anger, the old, festering, boiling animosity, the rank, bitter, seething _bile_, comes RIGHT back up to the surface." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  21. "I thought I was dreaming, so I punched you in the face to make sure I wasn"t." ~Tucker
  22. "If you dented my forehead, Tucker, I am going to be [ticked]." ~Church
  23. "You weren"t expecting the actual translation, were you? Oh, we"ve turned over a new leaf." ~Jon Stewart
  24. "[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever." ~Jon Stewart
  25. "Chloe is the queen of obscure and irrelevant references." ~Clark Kent
  26. "I don't know what it is, but in addition to the clothes, I also really like the furniture and general design-style of European stuff of this time period, too. Maybe I was a fop in a previous life or something..." ~Captain Chaotica!! on the Regency Era
  27. "[noises indicating extreme pain] I was just petting the bunny, and then it went into the soup can, and part of my hand went with it." ~Donut
  28. "Hey, Griff, why don"t you just stick to criticizing other peoples" ideas instead of coming up with your own?" ~Simmons
  29. "How can anyone murder himself and then hide the gun before canceling his reservation?" ~Graham Chapman character in the "Agatha Christie Sketch"
  30. "Dude, if we [Americans] went around the world, they would so hate us more." ~Jon Stewart
  31. "You"re as shady as I am, and you can"t deal with it." ~Shawn Hunter to Cory Matthews
  32. "Open mic night is a very dangerous night." ~Rocko Wallaby
  33. "There"s no "u" [in team], either! So I guess if I"m not on the team, and you"re not on the team, there"s no [gosh darned] team! The team sucks!" ~Griff
  34. "Are you becoming retarded?" ~Tucker
  35. "You broke the bloody ship!" ~Alexander Dane
  36. "Okay, that will never stop being funny." ~Duckie, referring to "And it exploded," from Galaxy Quest
  37. "And by the way, that was a REAL crab that pinched Roger [Taylor] in the 'Rio' video, not a fake one as people were assuming, and it _hurt_. Reportedly, that type of crab has been known to take people's fingers or toes _off_, so he was NOT HAPPY! Roger, I mean. The crab's feelings are impossible to determine at this time." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  38. "And we close with a VERY nice picture of the three Taylors together, and this time...they're not stealing anything!" ~Captain Chaotica!!
  39. "Talk soon, be well, keep laughing cause life can suck [a lot]." ~Dane Cook
  40. "Clearly, I"m way older than everyone." ~Jon Stewart
  41. "As rich as you think some of us are, for every $18.99 CD you buy, the artist usually sees a toonie or so. Pay your producer out of that. Then your manager. Then split it five ways among your band mates. Now don't act surprised when you see the drummer of a platinum-selling Canadian rock band behind the drive- thru window at Tim Hortons" ~Steven Page
  42. "You"re just setting a negative stereotype for dogs of your foofiness everywhere." ~My cousin to my grandmother"s Bichon
  43. "Look at me " I"m the most intelligent person here, and I"m an idiot." ~King Raff
  44. "Oh look, a zit. Let"s pick it!" ~Duckie rubbing aloe on our mother"s severely sunburned back
  45. "Noooooooo!" ~My mother to Duckie"s "Oh look, a zit. Let"s pick it!"
  46. "Dude, don"t taunt him. He has a graph." ~Donut
  47. "Dear Brad Pitt: Is Tom Cruise crazy? We hope he is, because we"re starting to like him." ~Adult Swim
  48. "I really wish there had been a way to phrase this as "A thunder of worms." Because I like that phrase. That's a phrase with soul. Worm thunder on the horizon, all is right with the cosmos..." ~Ursula Vernon
  49. "If I may bend your ear for a moment, I like Terry Prachett. I like footnotes. I like footnotes even when they are not as entertaining as a Pratchett footnote, even when they are in the middle of a book on evolutionary biology and briefly explain the Red Queen hypothesis or the fate of the Stephen's Island Wren or how many bunnies can dance on the back of Australia. Footnotes fill me with a very mild glee. The endnote simply does not compare." ~Ursula Vernon
  50. "If I do manage to come up with a scheme [to naming], however, I stick to it, which is why my cats are named after gods--Loki and Athena, who are, respectively, absolutely straightforward and affectionate, and dumber than dirt. I learned my lesson. I will name my next cat "Satan" or "Marduk" or something, thereby ensuring a kind, gentle beast who treats my upholstery like a shrine."~Ursula Vernon
  51. "I am UNCLEEEEAN!" ~Digger-of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels
  52. "The hardest part of this page was making a slug scream look convincing. Somehow--and I realize this was a shocking oversight--they never covered that in Drawing I & II." ~Ursula Vernon
  53. "Wombat density is sort of"Ow!"constant." ~Digger-of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels
  54. "It's a reality of art that the fewer lines you get, the harder it is. Cartooning is actually harder than realism. You have less to work with. It's like trying to build a house--if you have unlimited resources, you're in much better shape than if you get two bricks, a hammer, and a bent nail." ~Ursula Vernon
  55. "Two AM, and I"m still awake writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it"s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I"m naked in front of a crowd "cause these words are my diary screaming out loud, and I know that you"ll use them however you want to." ~"Breathe (2 AM)," Anna Nalick
  56. "I need a reason, too much learning, got to show. Call it treason, too many things, too much to know." ~"New Religion," Simon Le Bon
  57. "Searching for the undeniable truth that a man is just a fool." ~"New Religion," Simon Le Bon
  58. "How can I help it if I think you"re funny when you"re mad? I"m tryin" hard not to smile though I feel bad. I"m the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral." ~"One Week," Ed Robertson
  59. "Did you have to change all your poet"s fire into frozen dust?" ~"Do You Believe in Shame," Simon Le Bon
  60. "I think I"m giving up on love, "cause it really kind of sucks." ~"Giving Up on Love," The Ataris
  61. "If you"re not going to leave a flaming bag of dog [droppings] on my doorstep, at least come in." ~Tom Sloane
  62. "Bats are nocturnal!" ~Bruce Wayne, using an excuse for sleeping until 3 PM that I wish I had...
  63. "Well, you know how it is, Mr. Fox... You're out at night looking for kicks, and someone's passing around the weaponised hallucinogens..." ~Bruce Wayne
  64. "Ignorance is bliss, my friend. Don't burden yourself with the secrets of scary people." ~Carmine Falcone
  65. "With all the pushups you've been doing, you should be able to lift a bloody log." ~Alfred Pennyworth
  66. "I am afraid, Madame, my days are sacrosanct." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  67. "Margaret Thatcher is hott." ~Kenny
  68. "I"ve decided I want to have Keith Urban"s children." ~Duckie
  69. "May she find you alone on the sofa lost in your world out the window." ~"A Vote for Beauty," The Brothers Creeggan
  70. "We"ll send a note to your family saying you"re happy but not typical." ~"A Vote for Beauty," The Brothers Creeggan
  71. "I reject your reality and substitute my own." ~Adam Savage
  72. "In case you haven"t noticed, you have a body..." ~Duckie"s EMT instructor
  73. "Our goal in life is not to get puked on." ~Duckie"s EMT instructor
  74. "You"re gonna" be busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest." ~Duckie"s EMT instructor
  75. "There"s a certain amount of squishiness in what we do." ~Duckie"s EMT instructor
  76. "Thou shalt not melt metal into your patient"s body." ~Duckie"s EMT instructor
  77. "Don"t you wish we still had tails...Then we"d have a whole new set of things to be insecure about: "His tail is bigger than mine!"..."He can do more things with his tail than me!"" ~ Duckie"s EMT instructor
  78. "My brother and I did a good job of saving M80"s and bottle rockets for...days after we"d cut the grass and exposed a million crickets leaping in celebration of their own freedom, until we got to them. We would catch the little lawn hoppers and tie a long string around their bellies with the other end tied to one of the waiting rockets on the launch....We always retrieved the rocket and studied the end of the string where the Crickonaut was tied. It was like we were forensic scientists trying to uncover the cause of death when we knew darned well we were the killers in the first place. Most important to us was how we tied the knot and how the knot withstood the pressures, for we wanted the cricket to return to us with information from the stratosphere." ~Jason Mraz
  79. "That"s a little something we learned from our travels with the Dave Matthews Band " audiences think you"re great if you can stop and start at the same time." ~Jason Mraz
  80. "I swear to God I don"t tell lies to others. But I lie to myself." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  81. "I like people to be a little afraid of me." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  82. "Why, you could fall in love with their voices, you could end up kissing their voices; and the music, the bossa nova, that"s their language all right." ~David Talbot on Brazilians
  83. "David, the world is meant to remain a mystery. If there is any explanation, we are not meant to hit upon it, of that much I"m sure." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  84. "There has to be something to all this. There has to be! So many missing pieces. The more you consider it, the more atheists begin to sound like religious fanatics. But I think it"s a delusion. It"s all process and nothing more." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  85. "On my honor as a bloodthirsty murderer, yes." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  86. "Of course I deserve it. That"s the simplest thing about dealing with me, apparently. I always deserve the worst!" ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  87. "I"ve watched two-year-old humans with interest for centuries. They"re miserable. They rush about, fall down, and scream almost constantly. They hate being human! They know already that it"s some sort of dirty trick." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  88. "A nice rule of thumb might be: Don"t ever live in a part of the world which will not support that vine." ~Lestat de Lioncourt on the Queen"s Wreath vine
  89. "Only the dead know how terrible it is to be alive." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  90. "Beauty is beauty where you find it." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  91. "Of course there is a way to stop the rampant spread of beauty. It has to do with regimentation, conformity, assembly-line aesthetics, and the triumph of the functional over the haphazard." ~Lestat de Lioncourt
  92. "That"s your vanity talking. You love to imagine you"re worse than you are." ~David Talbot to Lestat de Lioncourt
  93. "I remain awed by how calmly Londoners have handled the terrorist attack. I believe that one reason for this is that the British TV news people have displayed less excitability and hysteria than American TV news people displayed in response to the Michael Jackson verdict. That's not an exaggeration: That's really how it appears." ~Dave Barry
  94. "I've been checking with people back in South Florida to see if Hurricane Dennis is going to whack my house, and the consensus of the experts seems to be: No, it will not, unless it does, in which case, yes. So I'm feeling really calm over here in London." ~Dave Barry
  95. "In theory, because of the nature of L-space, absolutely everything was available to him, but that only meant that it was more or less impossible to find whatever it was you were looking for, which is the purpose of computers." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
  96. "So something was going right for [Rincewind]. Out here in the red-hot wilderness something wanted him to stay alive. This was a worrying thought. No one ever wanted him to stay alive for something nice." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
  97. "There are times when it does not pay to declare ones sanity, and Rincewind realized that he"d be mad to do so now. Anyway, he could talk to kangaroos and find cheese and chutney rolls in the desert. There were times when you had to look wobbly facts in the face." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
  98. "Dead is only for once, but running away is for ever." ~Rincewind
  99. "When people like Mrs. Whitlow use [the term "savages"] they are not, for some inexplicable reason, trying to suggest that the subjects have a rich oral tradition, a complex system of tribal rights and a deep respect for the spirits of their ancestors. They are implying the kind of behaviour more generally associated, oddly enough, with people wearing a full suit of clothes, often with the same sort of insignia." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
  100. "It is very easy to get ridiculously confused about the tenses of time travel, but most things can be resolved by a sufficiently large ego." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

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