Quotes (Page 36)!

  1. "'Come on, Gosalyn, camping will be fun!' There's obviously some definition of fun that I don't know about." ~Gosalyn Mallard
  2. "And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal." ~Jane Lane
  3. �I already looked for my inner self. There�s no one in there.� ~Lucky Piquel
  4. �He�s gonna bring back my ulcer, I know it.� ~Lucky Piquel
  5. �If I don�t within 24 hours, I�ll lose my job. And I like my job. I use it to buy food. I like food.� ~Lucky Piquel
  6. �Only eight more years to retirement. Just gotta keep tellin� myself that.� ~Lucky Piquel
  7. "Daggett, the way you mind works frightens me." ~Norbert
  8. "What's...happening? I'm...feeling inclined to do things I...wouldn't normally do." ~Norbert
  9. "It was a romp, indeed!" ~Puck
  10. "Puck is many things, but never a poor guest." ~Puck
  11. "I live for subterfuge." ~Puck"
  12. "I have a sunny disposition and I'm always kind to animals." ~Puck
  13. �Ah, another satisfied subscriber to the Clich� of the Month Club.� ~Steelbeak
  14. �You know how men are. They think �no� means �yes� and �get lost� is �take me, I'm yours!�� ~Megara
  15. "I'm a damsel, I'm in distress... I can handle this. Have a nice day!" ~Megara
  16. "If I believed in fate, I wouldn�t be playing with loaded dice!� ~Tulio
  17. �Wasting old ladies isn�t nice!� ~Otto West
  18. �Not you, Ken. You have a beautiful speaking voice. When it works.� ~Otto West
  19. �Are you thinking, or are you in mid stutter?� ~Otto West
  20. �It�s a Buddhist meditation technique. The monks used it before going into battle.� ~Otto West
  21. "[America] did not lose Vietnam! It was a tie!� ~Otto West
  22. �Avoid the green ones. They�re not ripe yet.� ~Otto West
  23. �Look! It�s K-K-K-Ken, c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!� ~Otto West
  24. "Some things lack good planning." ~Andrew
  25. "You win again, gravity." ~Zap Brannigan
  26. "Oh, dear. I'm afraid fate has squatted on us again." ~Rocko Wallaby
  27. "I don't know if anyone will ever sit beside me on a plane again." ~Cillian Murphy
  28. "I would like to break out of this 'dark, brooding' image, cause I'm actually not like that at all. In Ireland, brooding is a term we use for hens. A brooding hen is supposed to lay eggs. Every time somebody says, 'He's dark and brooding,' I think, 'He's about to lay an egg'." ~Gabriel Byrne
  29. "This is a nightmare! I have to watch the Superbowl?!" ~Dr. Niles Crane
  30. "I'm killing you. But unfortunately I could only afford a Whiffle bat, so it's gonna take a while." ~Eric Cartman
  31. "Butters, what have we told you about confessing to crimes you didn't commit?" ~Mrs. Stotch
  32. �Night is my favourite time of day.� ~Darkwing Duck
  33. �Launchpad, the secret to being a good parent is letting your child know who�s boss. �Course, a ten spot never hurt, either...� ~Darkwing Duck
  34. �Just because you're in a relationship and we're not does not give you ultimate authority to judge our (lack of) love lives and nod with Ghandi-esque wisdom as to our assured future. Just leave us alone, and we'll stop stealing your firstborn in exchange for spun gold, okay?� ~Justin from MRFH
  35. �Guys, I know Hugh Grant scares you. Rest assured, he gets punched multiple times in the face in [Bridget Jones� Diary]. That should be enough to comfort you.� ~Justin from MRFH
  36. ��Sympathy for the Devil� is just another way of saying �Compassionate Conservative�.� ~Stephen Colbert
  37. �Kiera Knightley�s in [Dead Man�s Chest], but they dress her up as a boy because no one can be prettier than Orlando Bloom.� ~Stephen Colbert
  38. �My brain wanted to paint something Meaningful and Complex. I told it that it was painting a cute hadrosaur with butt-hearts first, damnit. THEN we could do meaningful art for the ages. It's sulking now. My priorities are obviously skewed all to hell...� ~Ursula Vernon
  39. �They�ve already taken away the sugar, now they�re taking away the corn. What the [Tartarus] is left?!� ~Stephen Colbert on Pops, n�e Corn Pops, n�e Sugar Corn Pops
  40. �If I get killed during liftoff, that�s a major system failure!� ~Daria Morgendorffer in The Angst Guy�s �Drive�
  41. �Life isn�t fair...and in your case, not very long, either.� ~Michael Harper to his father
  42. �We�re retired. Gardenin� is what retired people do.� ~Uncle Garth
  43. �What? The bad guy gets filthy rich?! What the heck kind of story is this?� ~Walter
  44. �Just because something isn�t true doesn�t mean you shouldn�t believe it.� ~Uncle Hub
  45. �Alright [dagnabit], you win. I�ll still be your [darn] uncle. But don�t expect me to be happy about it.� ~Uncle Hub
  46. �The kid gets it all. Just plant us in the [darn] garden with the stupid lion.� ~Garth and Hub�s will
  47. �It�s like they threw a Cabbage Patch doll at Ian McKellan.� ~Duckie when Frodo jumped onto Gandalf�s cart
  48. �Nice Little Trip to Rivendale, which was originally Nice Little Trip to the Prancing Pony, suddenly turns into Nice Little Trip to Mount DOOM!� ~Duckie on Fellowship of the Ring
  49. �Is that a castrati?...It�s probably Orlando Bloom. Johnny Depp was right.� ~Duckie on the music in the Fellowship of the Ring credits
  50. �Boromir�s like, �These guys are cute. I like playing with them. Why are they here...? And why do they have swords?�� ~Duckie on Boromir on Hobbits
  51. �In the end, we have our Dodgeball Duo running off to Mount Doom, and all they have to defend themselves are Sammie�s pots and pans, because Frodo�s squeaking sure isn�t going to scare anyone.� ~Duckie on Fellowship of the Ring
  52. �[Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas] are like, �We�ve got to save the ones that are completely unimportant to the plot!�....So we have a man, an elf, and a dwarf, and the only way they can live together is by running over hills and dales.� ~Duckie on The Two Towers
  53. �Keep breathing. That�s the key. Breathe.� ~Gimli, Son of Gloin
  54. �BWAH!! Sorry. I got excited....Not really.� ~Duckie while watching The Two Towers
  55. �[Samwise] got busy... That girl has got to be about three. I don�t know what the gestation period of a Habbit is...� ~Duckie
  56. "Strangely enough, the first time I tried to read [The Lord of the Rings] I was on holiday in Florida. I dropped it in the pool my first day there. If that's not a Pippin thing to do, I don't know what is." ~Billy Boyd
  57. �There was a lot of pranking, but that was more Dom [Monaghan] and Viggo [Mortensen]. With Viggo, they were normally quite violent, aggressive ones. You would see Sean Bean walking across to his caravan, and then see this figure of Viggo running across the plains and rugby tackling him. Dom and Viggo were attacking each other's trailers for quite a while, redecorating inside and out with whatever they got their hands on.� ~Billy Boyd on Lord of the Rings
  58. �I may have been born female, but I wasn't born in a ballgown.� ~Prince Yves
  59. "You're brain-damaged...doomed to feeling good for the rest of your life." ~Dr. Gregory House
  60. �It�s a fun run. I ran until it stopped being fun anymore. Happened quick.� ~Bobby Hill
  61. "Say Djelibeybi OUT LOUD � I must have had twenty letters (and one or two emails) from people who didn't twig until the third time round... Oh god...do they have them in the US? Should it have been called Emmenemms, or Hersheba... Hmm, Hersheba... Could USE that, yes, little country near Ephebe..." ~Terry Pratchett, who of course did use �Hersheba� and stuck it right next to Ephebe
  62. �If we had waited, we would not have invaded. That�s true because it rhymes.� ~Stephen Colbert
  63. �Do not encourage my behaviour.� ~Carlos Mencia
  64. �I am The Bug Slayer.� ~Duckie
  65. �Hey, you�re dead. Stop moving!� ~Duckie
  66. �I don�t think mugs are legally binding.� ~Dr. Kroger
  67. �I don�t mind being in your shadow, Monk; you�re a freak of nature.� ~Cpt. Leeland Stottlemeyer
  68. �I�m going to give myself hypertension right now.� ~Duckie
  69. �We thought we were so clever� We just thought it then. We know it now.� ~Lily
  70. �High school was such a strange place.� ~Gesture
  71. �[10th grade Chem was] whimsically traumatizing!� ~Gesture
  72. �He...killed twenty-three babies in self-defense?� ~Eric Cartman
  73. �Have you ever noticed that, after someone has died, those who survived him suddenly become self-proclaimed experts on what the deceased would have liked to see? �Poor John would have liked the oaken coffin.� �Ah yes, Timothy, he would have wanted me to have his favorite sword with the perfect balance.� �Definitely, poor Brian, he would have liked nothing better than for us all to get drunk, steal his body, quarter it, and deliver it to four syphilitic prostitutes at each corner of the kingdom, because that was just the kind of joke-enjoying jackanapes that Brian always was, and it would have given him a right good giggle.�� ~Apropos of Nothing
  74. �Any number of times in my somewhat tortured and torturous career...I encountered situations or scenarios that had been �foreseen� by someone. Sometimes they existed woven into tapestries by Farweavers: magi whose special gift was to pictorialize the future. More often, they were written down as vague predictions of things to come. Sometimes they were in free verse, other times they rhymed, but there was a particular consistency to them in that they were of absolutely no use ahead of time. Only afterward, once lives had been lost, blood had been spilled, screams of torture had been unleashed to the heavens...only then could one look back and say, �Ahhhh...all right. That�s what it meant.� I have never, ever understood the mindset of prognosticators who felt compelled to engage in such foolishness. If they truly have the foreknowledge to perceive that which is going to happen, why can they not simply tell us in clear, coherent manner just what it is that�s going to occur?� ~Apropos of Nothing
  75. �How typical of the human animal, is it not? To obtain a desired goal, and then to become annoyed with it once it is in your possession. Yes indeed, a pretty enigmatic and contradictory bunch, we humans.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  76. �The simple truth is that I suspect everyone of cheating. It�s the advisable way to live your life. There are two types of people in this world: People who have betrayed you, and people who have not betrayed you...yet. The former require close scrutiny, the latter even more so. So really, you can�t go wrong expecting the worst of people. If nothing else, it will greatly lessen the chances of you being smashed in the head with an urn filled with your mother�s ashes and having your life savings stolen.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  77. �My mind was racing in the customary way it had when I was confronted with a situation and had not the slightest clue what was going to pop out of my mouth in an attempt to deal with it. It�s a quite stimulating way to live, really, provided it doesn�t kill you along the way.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  78. �The gods answer all prayers. In my case, the answer is invariably mocking laughter.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  79. �It�s always a tragic circumstance for a truly inveterate cynic, such as myself, to own up to those moments in life when he is genuinely happy. Such admissions raise false hope in others that if a cynic has the capacity to enjoy some aspect of his existence, then true happiness and the loss of dreary cynicism is but a short step away.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  80. �He sighed peacefully, comfortable in his ebbing life. In a way, I hoped that I would face death with that degree of aplomb...rather than the way I would likely face it, which would involve a good deal of sobbing and profanity.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  81. "As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!" ~Stephen Colbert
  82. "Mental health is overrated." ~"This is Where it Ends," Stephen Page and Ed Robertson
  83. "God rewards those who give up things for Lent." ~Hillary when she found that her ice cream hadn't melted
  84. "It was nice to know that there were two things I could count on at any given moment: that the sun would rise and set, and that my life would be spiraling down the crap hole." ~Apropos of Nothing
  85. "Uh...I don't know what I can really do to help him. My first-aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition." ~Medical Officer Frank DuFresne
  86. "Apparently, God hates me." ~Dr. George O'Malley
  87. "One very large corrective bifocal could have changed the fate of Middle Earth" ~MRFH
  88. "Wake up and smell the psychosis." ~Number Six
  89. �I resisted the temptation to turn around and stick out my tongue in derision at Beliquose. After all, there was no telling when or if we would meet again, and I certainly did not need him saying, �Ah yes, Poe, the fellow whose trespasses I could have forgiven in their entirety...except for the tongue thing. Yes, for that, you must surely die.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  90. �Dying is not painful, Apropos. Living is where the pain is. The moments leading up to death, they can be as excruciating as our fellow creatures can devise. Every moment of life is replete with pain, and yet you would cling with all the force and energy and desperation that you can muster to the agonizing privilege we call life. But death, which is the cessation of pain and suffering...death, which is the merest blowing out of a candle...that you would fear down to your very soul. It�s a lousy way to live, Apropos. A lousy way to live.� ~Sharee
  91. �If you learn anything in your life, Apropos, it�s that there�s a world of difference between living and not dying. That�s all you�re doing at the moment: not dying. But only when you discard your fear of dying can you truly call yourself one of the living.� ~Sharee
  92. �I never lie. I just have a different definition of truth, that�s all.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  93. �Wonderful. Noticed by the gods. Not I know...why I�m so completely [phracked].� ~Apropos of Nothing
  94. �Perhaps that was my true condemnation: to simply reside in hell with my eyes closed, afraid of opening them lest matters deteriorate even further than they already had. This, in turn, made me swell on the fact that every time I had believed things couldn�t get worse, they promptly had done so with almost gleeful enthusiasm.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  95. ��What in hell--?� I whispered....I wondered if my exclamation of surprise was geographically accurate...� ~Apropos of Nothing
  96. �Humans always talk. Even when they�ve nothing to say. Actually, especially when they�ve nothing to say. At times like those, they substitute volume for sense.� ~Mordant
  97. �The only person I trusted implicitly within a ten-mile radius was myself, and considering I knew how duplicitous I could be, that left me feeling rather friendless.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  98. �Rarely is there anything as festive for a people as an execution. If there�s one thing that brings citizens together in large numbers, it�s the government-mandated slaying of someone other than they themselves.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  99. �Destiny, I realized, was not what you predicted you would become, and then you tried to live up to it. Instead, destiny was that which you achieved, and then you looked upon your accomplishment and decided that it was always intended to be yours by divine right.� ~Apropos of Nothing
  100. �I�m coming up! It�s me! If you see a head protrude up in front of you, kindly do not attempt to lop it off as it would be disrespectful, plus I�m rather attached to it!� ~Apropos of Nothing

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