Quotes (Page 38)!
- 'New Yorkers think they've cornered the market on psychopaths. They don't know Florida.' ~Jim Tile
- 'In a world turning to [garbage], why were so many people still having children? Maybe it was a fad, like CB radios and Cabbage Patch dolls. Or maybe these men and women didn't understand the full implications of reproduction. More victims, thought Bud Schwartz, the last [darn] thing we need.' ~Carl Hiaasen, Native Tongue
- "I should warn you that, while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian, so there'll be no blaming mother today." ~Dr. Niles Crane
- "The little rat is scintillating!" ~Dr. Frasier Crane
- "What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?" ~Jon Stewart
- "The thing that irked me...was that he skipped out on a Danger Room session. When has he ever done that? He's Cyclops, he doesn't skip Danger Room sessions, he probably has a cot to sleep in there so he won't be late." ~Guy in the Facebook group Cyclops is WAY Cooler than Wolverine
- 'It's like taking my name in vain. Now I know how God feels.' ~Hillary
- 'Oh... I just got quoted.' ~Hillary
- 'I don't care about which spirit ladies do what to which Cajuns, I'm here to stop a wedding.' ~Wolverine
- 'See, if you go, Dad and I will kill each other. I'm not just tossing out hyperbole here, I'm speaking in the most literal sense, Dad and I, both dead. He'll be lying there with a bacteria-ridden sponge protruding from his mouth like a bloated tongue.' ~Dr. Frasier Crane
- 'Many of us were too young to know Schwarzenegger in his salad days as [Conan the Barbarian], but we now know that we are certainly old and mature enough to take this piece of classic Western filmmaking and MST3K the hell out of it.' ~Justin of MRFH
- 'Did you have three years of law school this morning?' ~Tom Jeter
- 'I'll just add that to my list of reasons to die.' ~Dr. Frasier Crane
- 'His skin looks, like, so radiant. I wonder how he does it.' ~Hillary
- "You know, I'd forgotten what a weird little person you are..." ~Dr. Frasier Crane to Dr. Niles Crane
- 'I mean, I would just say hi, you guys are great, would you like to marry me, nothing too weird.' ~Duckie on making friends and influencing people
- "We've entered into a new condition." ~Matt Alby
- 'Nothing spoils an apple pie like apples.' ~Dr. Frasier Crane
- 'I feel sullied and unusual.' ~Jack Sparrow
- 'What I meant by 'Are you okay?' was 'What the [Tartarus] did House do?'' ~Dr. James Wilson
- 'Alright, I'm gonna need a ruler, an elephant seal...and a five-pound bucket of lard.' ~Duckie
- "I'm going to bed to cry myself to sleep. While eating a Kit Kat." ~Hillary
- "That's what you get when you pay for your education." ~Hillary, coveting the cushy chairs in classrooms at Miami
- "You're a complex little pirate, aren't you?" ~Dr. Frasier Crane
- "Dr. Jekyll, I presume... They found a half-eaten sheep at the zoo and the police want to ask you a few questions." ~Dr. James Wilson to Dr. Gregory House
- 'I think my main problem with life is that I have to be awake.' ~Hillary
- My daughter is a eunuch?!' ~Erronius
- 'Nooo! I meant 'yes,' it just came out 'no'.' ~Hysterium
- 'Pseudolus! You have got to stop stealing the neighbor's things! When I get back from market, I am going to come after you'' ~Hysterium ad libbing
- 'I can see it! I can see everything! You have been [Hysterium mimics large breasts] abroad! For [Hysterium flashes 10 fingers twice] 20 years! [Hysterium mimes looking for something] Searching for [Hysterium mimes holding a baby] a child! [Hysterium flashes two fingers] 2 childs! [Hysterium looks disgusted] Children, 2 children! [Hysterium mimics a tall, macho man] A fine, big boy. [Hysterium mimics a short, curvaceous girl] And'a strange, little boy?' ~Pseudolus posing as a seer
- 'I am not comfortable!' ~Hysterium during 'Lovely (Reprise)'
- 'Second time around!' ~Hysterium
- 'Why do older men find me so attractive?!' ~Hysterium
- 'A virgin, too. Lot of good it did her, huh? [laughs] Oh, it's tragic!' ~Psuedolus about 'dead Philia'
- 'Her bridal bower has become a bier of bitter bereavement!' ~Miles Gloriosus
- 'Look! Your captain's bride'dead! [soldiers gasp and crowd in] Well give her some air!' ~Pseudolus
- 'I have to go the Senate this morning. I'm blackmailing one of the senators.' ~Marcus Lycus
- 'Oh, no, I've already had [the plague]. I'd tell you about it, but blehhh, it's disgusting.' ~Pseudolus
- 'I live to grovel.' ~Hysterium
- 'Any coins they put on my eyes I keep!' ~Hysterium
- 'I'm flattered to know you think enough of me to make gay innuendo....We both know you're way out of my league, even in pretend world.' ~Jon Stewart to George Clooney
- 'I always love the porn stars.' ~Duckie (about Love Actually)
- 'The idea are good.' ~Kenny editing Hillary's paper
- "If you've seen Mary Poppins and The Grinch, come to the Booth Theater and let me shove a little coal down your stocking." ~Nathan Lane about Butley
- "Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly." ~Jon Stewart
- 'Let's pretend like three plus two equals five...' ~Hillary
- 'Why is Jesus important?' ~Hillary
- 'Oh, wow. That's naked people.' ~Hillary
- 'Maybe he could use his heat-vision to fry my teacher.' ~Hillary while watching Smallville
- 'It was now time to experience the Kool-Aid sour attack first-hand. Oh, this sucked. A few days later, I realized I could have used chocolate syrup for this experiment, instead of Kool-Aid powder. But for the moment, I was eating Kool-Aid.' ~Rob Cockerham
- 'Sweet? Maybe. Passionate? I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for 'nice'.' ~The Tenth Doctor
- 'When you're a kid, they tell you it's all: Grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid. And that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder...And so much better.' ~Elton Pope
- 'A 'Pirates' question is NEVER off topic!' ~Draca Darkwingette
- "[The huge success of Curse of the Black Pearl] made perfect sense to me on the one hand, and at the same time, it made no sense at all, which I kind of enjoyed. Even now, with the dolls and the cereal boxes and snacks and fruit juices, it all just feels fun to me, in a Warholian way. It's absurd. It doesn't get more absurd." ~Johnny Depp
- '[Jack Sparrow]'s a blast to play. I'll be in a deep, dark depression saying goodbye to him. I'll keep the costume and just prance around the house, entertain the kids....I mean, at a certain point, the madness must stop, but for the moment, I can't say that he's done." ~Johnny Depp
- "I don't think terrorists are going to take us over with World of Warcraft and downloaded mp3's. At least, not quickly." ~Captain Chaotica!!
- "Just keep those boys away from your accordion." ~Harold Weir
- "It's only 14 cents, and it's filling my body with wonderful goodness." ~Hillary on Ramen noodles
- "What do we do when we're bored? We watch our turtles hump each other." ~Hillary
- "This stuff is so much fun! It's like Hero Maker Super Ultra Turbo Plus, only in 3D and on STEROIDS!" ~Captain Chaotica!! on Sims 2
- "The ponytail commands you!" ~Captain Chaotica!!
- "Um...no. I try to keep the number of sharp, pointy objects down my pants to an absolute minimum." ~Guybrush Threepwod
- "And it should be said that no one handles this kind of stuff with more aplomb than [Brendan] Fraser. Handsome in a funny way, swaggering in a goofy way, Fraser gooses the movie with his deft comic timing." ~Jess Cagle on The Mummy
- "There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased." ~Robert Ebert on The Mummy
- "Give me some Spock for once! Would it kill you?" ~Rose Tyler to The Ninth Doctor
- "I want to find a blonde in a Union Jack....I mean a specific one. I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving." ~The Ninth Doctor
- "Who has a sonic screwdriver? Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Oh, this could be a bit more sonic!'?" ~Captain Jack Harkoness
- "Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?" ~Rose Tyler to The Ninth Doctor
- "There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy." ~The Ninth Doctor
- "Don't worship me; I'd make a very bad god." ~The Ninth Doctor
- "I think we've come up with something distinctive that's both timeless and modern, with a bit of geek chic and of course, a dash of Time Lord! Most importantly, Billie [Piper] tells me she likes it - after all, she's the one who has to see me in it for the next nine months!" ~David Tennant on his Doctor Who costume
- "That is enigmatic. That is...that is textbook enigmatic." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "Not bad for a man in his jim-jams. Very Arthur Dent." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "No second chances. I'm that sort of a man." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "Ooh, that's rude! Is that what I am now? Rude and not ginger?" ~The Tenth Doctor
- "So when you're playing, you feel like a preserved moose on stage?" ~Marty DiBergi
- "As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll." ~Mic Shrimpton
- "We are simple people in astrophysics." ~Neil Degrasse Tyson
- "Are we role playing? Am I you? I don't want to be you." ~Dr. James Willson
- "I'm not afraid, I'm terrified. There's a big difference." ~Adrian Monk
- "Some not excessively rich young and smart hamster obeyed some rich and not very good and good and bald kid." ~Matlab
- "You want weapons? We're in a library. Books! Best weapons in the world! This room's the greatest arsenal we could have." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "Now I have salmonella in my lungs. 'How did she die?' 'Oh, she was sniffing turtle steam.'" ~Hillary
- "This is not a baby wipe, this is an adult wipe." ~Adrian Monk
- "Stop flinging hamster bread." ~Mom
- "[Stuffed animals] aren't warm and soft and they don't come up to you when you come home and wag their tails and smile and talk to you....Some times my head forgets that it's me making up the other side of the conversation." ~Hillary on why real dogs are superior to stuffed animals
- "I'm sorry. We want a block of flats, not an abattoir." ~Michael Palin character in "The Architect Sketch"
- "You get nothing. Good day, sir." ~"Senator Willy Wonka; D ' Wonkaville" reacting to Bush's plan for Iraq on The Daily Show
- "Oh, irony! And it's in MY favour this time!" ~Dr. Drakken
- "Let's not play the blame game...unless you spot me ten points and give me a head start." ~Ron Stoppable
- "If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd." ~Stephen Colbert
- "You never forget a holiday when you work retail." ~Monique
- "Our last crime together went perfectly, except the part where we were caught and put in jail." ~Se'or Senior Junior
- "With this ring, I thee biodamp." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "Only a madman talks to thin air, and trust me, you don't want to make me mad." ~The Tenth Doctor
- "I love humans...always seeing patterns in things that aren't there." ~The Eighth Doctor
- "I'm pretty sure you're about to get Apocalypsed in the face." ~One of Duckie's friends
- "Ew! She's gross, Data, don't do it! I can't watch android sex; that's disgusting." ~Hillary during Star Trek: First Contact
- "You know, Susan, I think your old grandfather is going just a tiny little bit around the bend." ~The First Doctor
- "As for the computer, I sorta want to put an axe through it at this point....Ah well, gives me something else to worry about besides my job. There's a silver lining to everything." ~Draca Darkwingette
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