Quotes (Page 60)!
- "Quite the masculine fella, aren't ya?" ~Francis Allen Doyle about Angel
- "Imaginary Xander is quite the machine." ~Buffy Summers
- "[Thanksgiving] is a sham. But it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham." ~Buffy Summers
- "You're not gonna jokey rhyme your way out of this one." ~Willow Rosenberg
- "Ooh! We could not invite Anya!" ~Willow Rosenberg
- "You're a strange girlfriend..." ~Xander Harris to Anya Jenkins
- "This is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the clean up?" ~Rupert Giles
- "Oh, I'll try to restrain myself from eating the uncooked potatoes and cranberries." ~Rupert Giles
- "I'm a great cook! In theory... I've eaten a lot." ~Buffy Summers
- "Right. Always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials'." ~Rupert Giles
- "You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place." ~Buffy Summers to Rupert Giles
- "No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder." ~Rupert Giles
- "I have to baste." ~Buffy Summers
- "I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of." ~Willow Rosenberg to Rupert Giles
- "Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles." ~Willow Rosenberg
- "[Sarcasm] is sort of an end in itself." ~Rupert Giles
- "Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore." ~Spike
- "I came to you in friendship. [beat] Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information." ~Spike
- "Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but some of [what Spike said] made sense." ~Xander Harris
- "So this is Angel. He's large and...glowery." ~Anya Jenkins
- "You have so much to learn, little Irish man." ~Cordelia Chase to Francis Allen Doyle
- "They'll be into this for a while. We've got time for a cappuccino and probably the director's cut of Titanic." ~Cordelia Chase about Angel/Buffy interaction
- "I love chocolate! Oh, ugh. But not, as it turns out, yogurt." ~Angel
- "Giles, help! He's gonna scold me!" ~Buffy Summers tattling on Spike
- "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand." ~Rupert Giles about Buffy and Spike
- "Come on, now! It's telly time!" ~Spike, who is apparently five.
- "Giles! I accidentally killed Spike! That's okay, right?" ~Buffy Summers
- "Oh, yeah. Cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I think we're all doomed to badness." ~Willow Rosenberg
- "'S all right. I have more scotch." ~Rupert Giles
- "Just think of my lips as the Fruit Roll-Ups of love. [beat] Okay, that was gross. I'm a little distracted." ~Xander Harris
- "So, the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness tomorrow, is it?" ~Rupert Giles
- "Stop. Whatever you're doing. You smell like Fruit Roll-Ups." ~Rupert Giles
- "This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed." ~Spike
- "Can I be blind, too?" ~Xander Harris
- "I'm not posing for chuff all." ~Spike
- "Eat a cookie; ease my pain." ~Willow Rosenberg
- "...I'm the Dark Avenger?" ~Angel
- "I don't see Angel puttin' on tights. [beat] Oh, now I do, and it's really disturbing." ~Francis Allen Doyle
- "Well, if it's a fight they want, can't someone else give it to them?" ~Francis Allen Doyle
- "I think I hated that plan." ~Francis Allen Doyle
- "What do you think I am, superficial?! So you're half demon. That is SO far down the list. WAY under 'short' and 'poor'." ~Cordelia Chase to Doyle
- "So, tell me about your dream. As a Psych major, I'm qualified to go, 'Hm...'" ~Riley Finn
- "Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations and how they're less private in front of my friends?" ~Xander Harris
- "Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said." ~Rupert Giles
- "I'm a demon. Sure, I'm evil, but I'm not, y'know, evil." ~Barney
- "That's one spooky talent you've got there. You can just look at me grinding my teeth, sighing, grunting, and just sense that I'm frustrated? Amazing." ~Cordelia Chase
- "I hope you like your coffee black, because the only lightener the boss has in his refrigerator is O-positive." ~Cordelia Chase
- "Yes, I'm an ugly, grey, blobby-- What?" ~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
- "My soddin' sleepin' chair's bloody...sodden." ~Spike
- "I haven't been a nerd for a very long time. Hello, dating a guitarist!" ~Willow Rosenberg
- "I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse." ~Rupert Giles
- "Big, freaky cereal boxes of death..." ~Buffy Summers on mausoleums
- "Oh, as usual, dear." ~Rupert Giles
- "That's right! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal!" ~Spike
- “What’s this? Sitting around watching the telly while there’s evil still a foot? That’s not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can’t go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let’s find her! She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let’s annihilate them. For justice and for the safety of puppies...and Christmas, right? Let’s fight that evil! Let’s kill something! Oh, come on!” ~Spike
- "And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil." ~Spike
- "I find myself needing to know the plural of 'apocalypse'." ~Riley Finn
- "Of course. How wrong of me to choose my own words." ~Rupert Giles
- "Oh, bugger, I thought you'd gone." ~Ethan Rayne
- "Ethan Rayne. You have no idea how much thrashing you is going to improve my day." ~Rupert Giles
- "You know demons; it's all exaggeration and blank verse." ~Ethan Rayne
- "What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head." ~Rupert Giles
- "You have to help me find him. He must undo this, and then he needs a good being killed." ~Rupert Giles
- "And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?" ~Spike
- "Okay, that's a giant vulture. I'd have mentioned if it was a giant vulture." ~Xander Harris
- "He'd be great right now. He'd find himself in a second. Nobody is cooler in a crisis." ~Xander about Giles
- "I refuse to become a monster because I look like a monster. I have a soul. I have a conscience. I am a human being. Oh, stop the car!" ~Rupert Giles
- "Oh, sure, dismantle the getaway car. That'll scare 'em." ~Spike
- "Actually, I feel quite well...except for the rage." ~Rupert Giles
- "You're the only person in the world who can look that annoyed with me." ~Buffy Summers to Rupert Giles
- "That Hugh Grant thing is really starting to work for me." ~Cordelia's friend about Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
- "Pre-natal exam, Wesley." ~Angel
- "I don't think I've ever realized just how disgusting that was." ~Angel on drinking blood from a mug
- "As a point of courtesy, I like to get to know my opponents before I engage them in mortal combat. Do you, uh, do you have any hobbies?" ~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
- "Oh, yes. Careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, um, mud." ~Rupert Giles to Spike
- "Spike, you may want to give up these morning jogs." ~Xander Harris
- "Your robot bird sounds hungry." ~Buffy Summers about an alarm clock
- "I don't care if it's playing 'Rockin' the Casba' on the bloody Jew's harp, just get it out of me!" ~Spike
- "I'm so glad you came! You know how parties are; you're always worried that nobody's gonna suck the energy out of the room like a giant black cloud of boring despair, but there you were in the clinch!" ~Cordelia Chase to Angel
- "I've got two modes with people: Bite and avoid. Hard to shift." ~Angel
- "Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face. See where it takes us." ~Angel
- "Wow, groveling isn't just a way of life for you; it's an art." ~Cordelia Chase to Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
- "I don't grovel. Please don't fire me. What happened yesterday was just an anomaly. I'm very rarely taken hostage." ~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
- "I've gotta hand it to you, Goldilocks; you do have bleeding tragic taste in men." ~Spike to Buffy
- "I'm just a friend of Xanderrrr's-- Oh, bugger it. I'm your guy." ~Spike
- "Hey! What am I, a bleedin' broken record? I'm bad!" ~Spike
- "You know, you really should get yourself a boring boyfriend. Like Xander! You...can't have Xander." ~Anya Jenkins
- "That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my 'Yummy sushi' pajamas." ~Buffy Summers
- "Why am I not entirely comforted by the arrival of the man-sized microwave?" ~Xander Harris
- "That is not appropriate! It's for killing extinct demons! Angel, make her stop!" ~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, as Cordie uses a ritual knife to slice brownies
- "Cordelia, just put down the very sharp knife." ~Angel
- "I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic." ~Xander Harris
- "Been there, done that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall." ~Xander Harris
- "Can anyone of your damn little Scooby Group at least TRY to remember that I HATE you all?!" ~Spike
- "We're dumb." ~Xander Harris to Rupert Giles
- "There are not-evil evil things?" ~Kate Lockley
- "Ever since she ran me through with a two-by-four, things have been different." ~Angel
- "I wish those council guys would let me have an hour alone with her...if I was larger and...had grenades." ~Willow Rosenberg about Faith
- "You don't have to worry about me drinking... 'less you're here to protect innocent beers." ~Spike
- "You didn't sense a hyena energy, did you? Because hyena possession is just...unpleasant." ~Willow Rosenberg
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