Quotes (Page 9)!

  1. "Ben [Stiller] is not...Shaquille's height." ~Edward Norton
  2. "But what about our eternal love that was supposed to last till graduation?!" ~Brittany Taylor
  3. "Nobody likes a people-gasser, Jon." ~Steve Colbert
  4. "Running is never fun. Running is something that you do when there's a man chasing you with a knife." ~Ardal O'Hanlon
  5. "They're part of your identity, your books." ~Ardal O'Hanlon
  6. "Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person." ~Ardal O'Hanlon
  7. "No dating until AFTER you're married." ~Oscar Proud
  8. "Give my regards to Broadway." ~David Xanatos
  9. "The best thing about life at sea, Will, was that no one could reach you." ~Captain Jean Luc Picard
  10. "Passengers will refrain from KILLING MY SOUL!" ~Bus Driver Stu
  11. "Shut up, Wesley." ~Captain Jean Luc Picard and Doctor Beverly Crusher
  12. "Are you prepared for the kind of death you've earned, little man?" ~Lore to Wesley Crusher
  13. "One must not take over the world without a doomsday device. It's simply not done." ~Epsilon
  14. "We don't need one-third of Europe. Let's let it loose." ~Jon Stewart on the bubonic plague
  15. "I hate the present, too, but not enough to wear a zoot suit." ~Tom Sloane
  16. "Who let them into the Axis of Evil?" ~Michael Moore on North Korea
  17. "Its like murder to abort a child, Who are we to stop it?" ~Carolyn Pfender
  18. "My dear Gerald, women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." ~the narrator of "The Sphinx Without a Secret"
  19. "Ankh-Morpork, we have an orangutan�" ~Leonard de Quirm
  20. "It's a treat to see the sun rise over the desert. What am I saying? It's a treat to fire off a rocket car over the desert!" ~Adam Savage
  21. "But my people are only in favour of disobedience in general terms. It's specific disobedience they come down on heavily." ~Crowley, a demon
  22. "That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl." ~Pippin Galadriel "Pepper" Moonchild
  23. "Now, as Crowley would be the first to protest, most demons weren't deep down evil. In the great cosmic game they felt they occupied the same position as tax inspectors - doing an unpopular job, maybe, but essential to the overall operation of the whole thing. If it came to that, some angels weren't paragons of virtue; Crowley had met one or two who, when it came to righteously smiting the ungodly, smote a good deal harder than was strictly necessary. On the whole, everyone had a job to do and just did it." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  24. "The road to Hell is paved with frozen door-to-door salesmen. On weekends many of the younger demons go ice-skating down it." ~Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
  25. "It's hard enough bein' people as it is, without other people coming and messin' you around." ~Adam Young
  26. "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young
  27. "Anyway, if you'd stop tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. If I was in charge, I'd try makin' people live a lot longer, like ole Methuselah. It'd be a lot more interestin' and they might start thinkin' about the sort of things they're doin' to the environment and ecology, because they'd still be around in a hundred year's time." ~Adam Young
  28. "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young
  29. "Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale." ~Adam Young
  30. "We seem to have survived. Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent." ~Aziraphale
  31. "Just remember I'll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a [jerk] to be worth liking." ~Crowley
  32. "You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don't bother to answer. If we could understand, we wouldn't be us." ~Crowley
  33. "Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'." ~Jon Stewart
  34. "Lord Vetinari looked at Ponder without speaking. He could deal with most types of mind, but the one apparently operating Ponder Stibbons was of a sort he had yet to find the handles on. It was best to nod and smile and give it the bits of machinery it seemed to think were so important, lest it run amok." ~Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
  35. "Coppers would be too suspicious of anyone calling themselves a god of policemen to believe in one." ~Captain Carrot Ironfounderson
  36. "I am not going to pierce my belly button. It never did anything to me." ~Daria Morgendorffer
  37. "Who among us wouldn't rush out and buy a Pepsi if we thought it would make the Osborne's disappear?" ~Ed Helms
  38. "You have attention span of cheese sandwich." ~Master Hama to Johnny Bravo
  39. "Warm fuzzies! Great for keeping warm in the winter. That is until one of them develops static cling and then all heck breaks loose." ~Darc
  40. "We now take a visit to Iraquorea, the evilest place on earth." ~Steve Colbert
  41. "You can read this in the American Journal for [Stuff] I Could Have Told You Myself." ~Jon Stewart
  42. "Just once, I would like to hear a president just come out and say, "Um, yeah. About the union�I broke it.'" ~Jon Stewart on State of the Union addresses
  43. "Do I really need an excuse to have a good time in my own home?" ~David Xanatos' response to Lexington's "Then why were you shooting at us?"
  44. "Life goes faster when you're somewhere else." ~Daria Morgendorffer
  45. "If it gets any more saccharine in there, I'm going to put a finger down my throat." ~Dr. Anton Sevarius
  46. "You would not like to see the jackal god play favourites." ~Anubis
  47. "It's cool to see a villain's sidekick that's not a comic-relief bumbler. Owen's like a dangerous Smithers." ~Juan F. Lara
  48. "[Owen] may not have succeeded in keeping the Grimorum, but I'm sure lots of villains with bumbling sidekicks envy Xanatos." ~Juan F. Lara
  49. "Eternity's not as long as it used to be." ~Pain
  50. "Sometimes honour _means_ doing stupid things..." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  51. "I don't need drugs to be hooked on something..." ~Captain Chaotica!!
  52. "So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke." ~Jon Stewart
  53. "I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them." ~Jon Stewart
  54. "We're two halves of a whole idiot!" ~Cosmo
  55. "Kennedy is, like, what every man should aspire to be." ~Duckie
  56. "Um, yeah�What is the point of my part?" ~Wayne on Peter Menin's "Canzona"
  57. "It's my first stab at clich�d villainy. How am I doing?" ~David Xanatos
  58. "It's my size Lexington!" ~Duckie
  59. "Somewhere there's a landfill full of unopened hot sauce." ~Ron Stoppable
  60. "In 1945, peace broke out." ~Eric Idle in "The Deadly Joke"
  61. "Possession is nine-tenths of guilt." ~Rebecca Cunningham
  62. "Icarus, get off the uvula." ~Hercules
  63. "if you hear muffled screams consider that a request for a beam out" ~Tom Parris
  64. "Yes. Xanatos is evil because there are gargoyles living in New York." ~Duckie while watching "Her Brother's Keeper"
  65. "Born in the City of Brotherly Love to Andrea and John de Lancie, young John distinguished himself while in his pre-teen years by flunking the fifth grade after racking up the most detentions ever given a child his age." ~John de Lancie's bio on StarTrek.com
  66. "Those who miss history class are doomed to repeat it." ~Baloo
  67. "Well that's sicker than usual." ~Jackal to Hyena's "I still find [Coyote] very attractive."
  68. "Service is its own reward. I would have thought you knew that." ~Owen Burnett to Hudson
  69. "Swordless? Maybe. Helpless? Never." ~Hudson
  70. "Cookies and porn? You're the best mom EVER!" ~Ross Gellar
  71. "Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like an herb-grow road kill." ~Daria Morgendorffer
  72. "This movie is harmful to children and other living things." ~Crow T. Robot
  73. "If you let the system beat you long enough, eventually it's gonna get tired." ~Oswald
  74. "There's nothing more dangerous than a place that doesn't exist." ~Jonathan Turley
  75. "Though sleeker and more powerful, it could not withstand the weight of a pyramid collapsing on it." ~Sven's Gargoyles Homepage
  76. "The business has gone to, well, you know, to here." ~Hades
  77. "Sir, are you being ironic again? Cause it's really hard to tell." ~Panic
  78. "The neat thing about brain-stuff is that it's usually protected by skull-stuff." ~Tameika
  79. "People blame the military for the wars we are asked to fight." ~Commander Torev
  80. "I must be alive, because I hurt too much to be dead." ~Baloo
  81. "Ancient prophecies never predict anything good." ~Iago
  82. "Welcome to the cafeteria: Bad food in large quantities." ~Icarus
  83. "Wow. Two heads. Oh! You can eat AND think at the same time!" ~Icarus
  84. "I foretold you so!" ~Cassandra
  85. "You�re your own play." ~Jon Stewart to Ben Afflec
  86. "You mean to say that the viewers of MTV didn't catch the subtle satire�?" ~Jon Stewart
  87. "The only thing that I really hate is the theme song...I suspect that the composer is going to be the new holder of the 'Most Hated Person In Star Trek' title...if she calls, I'll hand over the badge to her...I know I have it someplace." ~Wil Wheaton on Enterprise
  88. "I like to quote things." ~Wil Wheaton
  89. "Citizens. As you may have noticed, I'm wearing pants, thanks to the gods!" ~Callipygeas
  90. "When I was working on Trek, I always wanted to be: As good an actor as Patrick, as funny as Brent, and as cool as Jonathan." ~Wil Wheaton
  91. "I see some really STUPID children being born as a result of these two meeting." ~Tom Servo
  92. "It's economical not to have a storyline, because then you can just film people saying things." ~Crow T. Robot
  93. "Where�s that cold air coming from?" ~Ryan standing in an open garage when it was 30-some degrees outside
  94. "You've been to Britain, right?" ~Jon Stewart to Eric Idle
  95. "Death, my canny foe, I have cheated you again!" ~Iago
  96. "Vimes's imagination actually shut down at this point." ~Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
  97. "Oh dear. Why did I wait until I was married to become strangely attractive to powerful women? Why didn't it happen to me when I was sixteen? I could have done with it then." ~Commander Samuel Vimes
  98. "Nature is bountiful where idiots are concerned." ~Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
  99. "Dark sarcasm ought to be taught in schools." ~Commander Samuel Vimes
  100. "The key to winning, as always, was looking as if you had every right, nay, duty to be where you were. It helped if you could also suggest in every line of your body that no one else had any rights to be doing anything, anywhere, whatsoever." ~Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

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