Channel 80 News
EPISODE GUIDE
Updated 10-01-12

 

To go to an episode for downloading, click on the orange episode title header for each episode or feature and follow the instructions on the page you're taken to.

(Note: All features are listed, usually in the order they appear in the episode. However, all commercials are grouped under "Products" and listed from there. Also, with things like "News Briefs" or "Sports Junk," even if there is more than one instance per episode of news, only one heading of "News Briefs" will appear per episode. In addition, "Sports Junk" or the like will be listed once for any general segment of the same name, while if there is a special Sports Junk feature, it will be listed separately... and so on. Blah blah blah. That's the general idea. ;D)

To make browsing a little easier, certain series with continuing plotlines will be color-coded. Basically, any entries in the same color text are linked together by various story elements, to make things easier if you're just browsing for your certain-series fix.

- Superhero Shows (Super Slow Reaction Man, Deficiency Boy, Super Hero Saga)
- Bonanza Family Adventures
- The Rear View with Starla Simmons
- People with Hollywood Lamaramar
- Crimesolvers (Swiss Rolls, Puce Panther, Crime Scene Interlopers)
- Aliems
- Mission: Implausible
- Postbusters
- The Salem Gypsy
- The Linear Sequence
- Star Wars: Holocron
- Cooking Shows (Cooking Corner, Lettuce with Link, Melee Munchies)

[Season 1]

Channel 80 News - Episode 1 - New News at Noon
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Sports Junk – Sports Cast (Panthers vs. Panthers)
        * Products: Happy-go-lucky Pills, Freedom on a Stick, Insta-Dog-in-a-Bottle, Anger-Away
        * "The Voice of Jim"

                        [Billy Bob Bozeman has a mid-life crisis. Can divine intervention help him out? Or is it divine after all?]
        * "Limbs of Life"
                        [Joseph Chapman interviews a tree which has reputedly been saving the lives of locals.]
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #1 - 'The Phantom Milkness'
                       
[Through the wickedness of his milk, a mild-mannered high school student becomes the evil Mandread Crueller. Using the Globe of Power, can Super-Slow Reaction Man and his sidekick Farm Lad stop him and save the day?]
        * "Y2.2K Compliance"
                        [A scientist attempts to prepare us for the crisis of the Y2K virus... in 2002.]
        * Sports Junk - "Trampolympics"
                        [Anthony, Michael, and Manfred face off, sumo-wrestler style, in the first installment of trampolympics. {trampoline+olympics=trampolympics}]


Channel 80 News - Episode 2 - America's Least Wanted
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Sports Junk – Sports Cast – Nathan’s new Sport
        * "Mister Cleo - The Ultimate Cleo"

                        [Mr. Cleo, a psychic, offers his services to several passers-by---and, of course, to the viewer. Call now for a free reading!]
        * Products: Compilation Album, Anger-Away 2, Sand-in-a-box, Crazy Daniel's Kidney Beans, Dental Danger Drops
        * Society Junk - Rap Dr. Seuss

        *
Bonanza Bob - Search For the Newt of Doom
                       
[Bonanza Bob, the intrepid explorer, ventures out with his assistants Twinky and Binky in search of the terrifying Newt of Doom. Little do they know, it's closer than they think.]
        * "Everything I Say is Right" with Mr. Wrong
                        [Mr. Wrong hosts a talk show in which, as expected, he berates his guests for everything from their names to the color scheme displayed to the viewers. He is always right.]
        * "America's Least Wanted"
                        [This parody of America's Most Wanted, instead of looking for criminals, simply tells America which people we want the LEAST, and with good reason.]
        * "Visually Impaired Date"
                        [Obviously a parody of Blind Date, this show hooks up two people and then asks their friends what the other is thinking. Romantic? No, but it was never meant to be!]
        * "Travis's Teeter-Totter"
        * Sports Junk - "Street Bowling"
        * "Who Wants to be a Marmoset" with Fegis Rilbin
                        [Fegis Rilbin hosts this game-show parody in which contestants are given questions with monetary value, and of course, lifelines (of a slightly different nature this time!). Chaos ensues as the audience rebels.]
        * "Low Budget Children's Entertainment Show"
                        [What happens when a low budget children's entertainment show is hijacked by terrorists? Find out.]
        * Sports Junk - "Trampolympics II"
                        [Joseph Chapman hosts the second installment of Trampolympics. Sumo wrestlers Jabbaro-Jay and Himmohito face off to win the Crystal. Also features a bucket-kicking competition and a few other games.]
        * Public Service Announcement: Un-Native African Americans: Hunger
        * "Jerry Stinger"
                        [Gary Stinger hosts a talk show so trashy, it ends up cancelling itself.]
        * "Mister Cleo - The MYSTERIOUS Cleo"


Channel 80 News - Episode 3 - Bush Park
        * This Just In
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #2 - 'Milkish Freakyness'
                       
[Super-Slow Reaction Man and his sidekick Farm Lad begin their quest to recover the Globe of Power from the clutches of the evil Mandread Crueller, using Farm Lad's Perfectly Spherical Egg of Freedom. Mandread, meanwhile, hatches a scheme using an evil orb of his own, a new sidekick--Gordo--and the wonders of online auctions. Can he be stopped this time?]
        * News Briefs
        * Products: Drippy Drops, Louis the Lousy Monkey, The Complete and Utter Egg of Neutrality, Milk of Madness CD
        *
"Expedition" with Bonanza Bill
                       
[Bonanza Bill, the cousin of famed Bonanza Bob, sets out to explain the mysterious Mad Monkey Disease---but unfortunately is bit and contracts the disease himself. Will his cameraman and Field Medic Anthony be able to navigate the twisted jungles of Nebraska Avenue, filled with Native Aboriginals, and discover the source of the Mad Monkey Disease? Or will they get bitten themselves?]
        * Useless Weather
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Sprite"
                        [This C80 Closeup details the dangers of the popular soda, Sprite, and reveals the horrible side-effects stumbled upon from drinking it.]
        * "People" with Hollywood Lamaramar - Episode 1
                        [In the first installment of "People," a talk show, host Hollywood Lamaramar interviews 'people that want to sing, but can't,' including guests N. Decisive and Perry Noid.]
        *
Bonanza Bob - In Search of the Native Aboriginals
                       
[Seeking vengeance following the death of his cousin, Bonanza Bill, Bonanza Bob (and his other cousin, Bonanza Ben, along with Field Medic Anthony) confront a huge tribe of wild Aboriginals. Will Bob get the revenge he seeks, or will another Bonanza family member bite the dust? Or both??]
        * Meaning of Life ("She has a stick!")
        * Sports Junk - "Olympic Swinging"

        * "Weirdest Link"
                        [This game show parody of The Weakest Link features a similar format and some very colorful guests, such as a homicidal man wrapped in caution tape, an accident-prone guy, and a complete drunk, among others.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 4 - Chaos
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Sports Junk – Child Convoy

                        [Nathan hosts this special sports junk segment, which reveals a dangerous pastime of tying modes of transportation together until a huge "child convoy" is achieved.]
        * "Weirdest Link"
                        [The second episode of this particular game show features an alien ambassador, and several other guests of varying levels of cooperation. Will the host take matters into his own hands? (Yes!)]
        * Sports Junk - "Street Bowling 2"
                        [A sports junk special in which the previously detailed sport of Street Bowling is combined with dancing-on-skates.]
        * Sports Junk - "Meaning of Chaos"
                        [This sports junk special shows us a festival of sports so insane, it can only be called the "Meaning of Chaos."]


S1 Special Feature: Jugendherberge
       
[This special feature, originally a class project, became a part of C80 through it's official sequel, (S2's) "Jugendherberge Unleashed." It follows the exploits of a fictional youth hostel, "Haslichmuttiberg {Uglymothermountain}," via the convention of a video brochure. In German with English subtitles.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 5 - Crossover
       
* Meaning of Life: An Introduction
                        [After an enigmatic clip appears, Joe Chapman here announces the creation of a new Channel 80 News segment: The Meaning of Life. Humorous and always random "meanings of life" follow in the subsequent episodes.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Repent!")
        * News Briefs
        * Voterage 2002 - Suburban City Governor Elections (Cheesemonger Party)

                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman interviews the candidates for Surburban City Governor from the Cheesemonger Party: the Wild Aboriginal, and 'Ben'. After much political debate, the winner is chosen to move onto the next round.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Brekakakex koax koax")
        * Products: Insta-Corp's "Thoup," Milk of Madness CD 2.0
        * (Mid-Day Movie)
"The Salem Gypsy"
                       
[Six hapless youths go on a camping trip, and all is well... until they are faced with the horrifying beast they thought to be just a campfire story: The Salem Gypsy. With their friends getting picked off right and left, will even one of them survive to tell the tale?]
        * Voterage 2002 - Suburban City Governor Elections (Fashionless Party)
                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman interviews the candidates for Suburban City Governor from the Fashionless Party: Jimmy J'Jimmajim, and Mr. Raccoon. After much political debate, the winner is chosen to move onto the next round.]
        * Meaning of Life ("...Lost His Oil Can")
        * This Just In
        * "Point-Counterpoint"

                        [Point-Counterpoint is a show about debate. It's the facts, and just the facts. Though sometimes those facts are a little surprising.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Leading a Cow to Slaughter")
        * "Badly Dubbed Foreign Film"

                        [This feature is just what it sounds like: Two swordsmen face off while their dialogue is dubbed in from participants off-camera... making for an amusing story arc, of course.]
        * Voterage 2002 - Suburban City Governor Elections (Final)
                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman brings us the final debate, between the Cheesemonger candidate and the Fashionless candidate. At the end, a Suburban City Governor is elected.]
        * New Years' Eve Special - The Shopping Cart
                        [Special 'feature' with, one might say, an emphasis on recycling. Don't do this at home, kids!]


Channel 80 News - Episode 6 - Spoofapalooza
        * News Briefs
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #3.0 - 'Attack of the Clown'
                       
[On vacation in the town of Snow, Super-Slow Reaction Man and Farm Lad seek only to relax. But a mysterious new villain, Bad Guy, shows up and renders Farm Lad unconscious with his weapon, 'The Fixer.' Farm Lad then experiences a magical journey/hallucination brought to him courtesy of the Globe of Milkish Freakyness. What will happen to Farm Lad, and will he ever wake from this horrible nightmare world? And will they be able to defeat Bad Guy?]
        * "The Wizard of Odd" (within SSRM 3.0)
                        [This parody of The Wizard of Oz is seen within Farm Lad's hallucinatory journey in Super Slow Reaction Man 3.0. He's a long way from Kansas, let's put it that way.]
        *
"The Lord of the Things"
                       
[Young Odo is faced with an impossible quest: Destroy the "Thing," a fortune cookie said to be, well, the most evil 'thing' out there. Plagued by villains who wish to turn the populace into a hillside made of sugar cubes, and of course, faced with the temptation of the Thing itself, can Odo complete his journey and save Central-Earth?]
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #3.5 - 'A New Dope'
                       
[Having last left our heroes in the midst of an incomplete episode, Super-Slow Reaction Man and Farm Lad's adventures continue now. With Mandread and Gordo seeking to infuse Bad Guy with the Globe of Milkish Freakyness, our heroes' hopes for victory lie in the assistance of the mysterious Lawful Good, a fellow defender of justice. Can the forces of good stop the Cruellers before they achieve world domination through technology? And will Random Reporter Guy ever leave anyone alone?]
        * Not-So-Masterpiece Theater presents: "The Linear Sequence"
                       
[Host Nigel Weatherby takes us on a harrowing journey into this Matrix spoof, featuring the One, Dodge Neo, and his cheese whip of doom. Can he defeat the forces of mathematics, or will they forever dominate our world (even in the bathroom)?]
        * C80 Special Exposé: "Mud"
                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman and affiliate-crossover-reporter John Johnson take a look at mud and all its wonders. Features interviews with several analysts of this element, as well as just about anything mud-related you could want.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Terrorist Cat")
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #3.75 - 'The Milkire Strikes Back'
                       
[Drawing the Episode 3 Trilogy to a close, this installment of SSRM finds the evil Mandread Crueller plotting to use a new artifact, the Cloning Sphere, to create an evil version of Farm Lad: Crimson Lad. Instead, due to a mistake by Gordo, Crueller creates a clone of himself: Manfraud Dueller. Will SSRM and Farm Lad be able to make sense of this new development? Will the wise Porcu-duck be able to guide Dueller to the path of good, or will he stay delightfully evil? Will Gordo find a love interest? All these questions (and more) are answered!]


Channel 80 News - Episode 7 -
7th Sense
       
* "Acquaintances" (Promo)
                        [What happens when you have a bunch of acquaintances living together in a welfare tenement? Ensuing hilarity, that's what. SINRS, the Super Interesting Network for Reality Series, gives you a sneak peek of just such a show.]
        * Slyvan Learning Disadvantage
                        [Slyvan, not to be confused with that loser Sylvan, shows you how with their program, you'll be reading in no time. Or at least something equivalent that will satisfy your parents.]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Candy"
                        [This C80 Closeup, hosted by Joseph Chapman, peers into the dark world of candy-dealing, following the tragic story of a student, Tim Norton. Contains interviews with Norton, candy dealers, candy junkies, and undercover cops---people on both sides of the issue.]
        * Products: F-Mobile
        * (Mid-Day Movie) "Germs Band" (to be continued...)

                        [After unearthing Egyptian relics of "magic and gods and power," a scientist is gunned down and the relics stolen---leaving his assistant, Shutup, to enlist the help of the infamous spy, Germs Band.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 8 - Fair Affair
        
* Season Finale Intro: The Wizard Speaks
        * News Briefs
        * "Cooking Corner: Cake"

                        [A brand new C80 installment, "Cooking Corner" is a cooking show, of course. In this first episode, the two co-hosts attempt to fashion a delicious cake for St. Patrick's Day (or some sort of holiday). Soon to be contracted audience member Joey Cleary then learns what it means to question the quality of Cooking Corner's goods.]
        * Products: Primal Essences Shampoo
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #4 - 'Lustful City'
                       
[Having discovered the source from which Mandread Crueller obtained the Cloning Sphere, Super-Slow Reaction Man and Farm Lad invade the Lustful City, in an attempt to stop any further corruption of the post office there. However, Bad Guy has gotten his hands on two of the orbs, one being the Orb of Evolution, and plans to trap them all---and all the while reporters from every station are sniffing around trying to uncover the truth! In this gripping season finale of SSRM, secret identities are revealed, valuable orbs change hands, heroes and villains will evolve---and someone will die horribly. Find out who when you see it!]
        * Swiss Rolls #1 - "Case of the Missing Plot"
                        [This special presentation opens with the protagonist, Detective Swiss Rolls, and his assistant Zero, being asked to take on a troubling case: finding the very plot of the feature they are in. Plagued at every turn by freeze-monologues, dragons that go "meow," and even Death himself, Swiss Rolls faces a challenge. Lies will be told, doormats will be thrown, and confusion will ensue---but can Swiss Rolls crack this case?]
        * "People" with Hollywood Lamaramar - Episode 2
                        [In this episode of her talk show, Hollywood Lamaramar interviews the cast of "Super-Slow Reaction Man."]
        * Sports Junk - "Speed Chess"
                        [This sports junk special reveals a new type of chess: Make your move quickly, or get hit.]
        * Season Finale Part 2 Intro: Damn You, Pazuzu
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Mysterious Mecca of Mayhem"

                        [This C80 Closeup takes a look at state fairs, examining reasons why people gather there each year. From leprechauns to racist sheep, no stone is left unturned.]
        * "I Hallucinate of Jeanie"
                        [A parody of I Dream of Jeannie that takes a startling turn: when an average guy finds a Genie in a mysterious Tabasco bottle, will all his wishes come true, or will his magical dreams come crashing down? And just WHO is the Genie working for?]


[Season 2]

Channel 80 News - Episode 9 - Spoofapalooza 2
       
* Spoofapalooza 2 Intro: The Linear Sequence Seizes Control
                        [No need to worry; the Linear Sequence has complete control. Prepare for the season premiere to be properly supervised (and for things to be spoofed once more)!]
        * Promo: The Pants
                        [A quick promo for an upcoming feature, which at its base level is a parody of the Hitchcock film The Birds.]
        *
"Sea-Triscuit"
                       
[This heart-warming tale is a spoof of Seabiscuit. In our version, a sick man finds a box of crackers with the potential to, through winning races at the tracks, end both their struggles. Can Sea-Triscuit really win a race?]
        * News Briefs
        *
"Harry Potter and the Delusions of Grandeur"
                       
[The tragic tale of a boy who thinks he's Harry Potter, and all the mental health professionals who disagree with him.]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 1.0
        * Turkey-in-a-basket

                        [When a full turkey is found, in a basket, abandoned... disaster ensues. And by disaster, we mean hilarity.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Cleaning Gutters")
        *
Super Slow Reaction Man #5 - 'Return of the Hero'
                       
[With SSRM dead, the core villains have taken some time off to relax. However, Mandread's sister Ruthless Crueller gathers her forces of darkness together in an attempt to obtain the Orb of Completely Powerful Power, from which all other orbs were created. Not if SSRM can help it! Using the power of neon to come back to our plane of existence, he warns his former sidekick Farm Lad, now a superhero in his own right. With reformed Manfraud Dueller at his side, Captain Obvious races to the orb alongside the Crueller faction and the enigmatic Mr. Eye, a foe who sees both sides of every issue. Will the forces of good solve the riddle of the orb's guardian, the Kayaking Mystic? Or will Ruthless achieve a power that her brothers never could, and take over the world?]
        * Not-So-Masterpiece Theater presents: "Finding Neo Reloaded"
                       
[Nigel Weatherby once again takes us into the world of the slightly-forboding in this sequel to "The Linear Sequence." Having failed to destroy Dodge Neo and Infinity, the Sequence dispatches its Agents to subdue them. Neo must evade the forces of the Sequence again, or face deletion.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 10 - Inspiration Date
       
* Special Feature: "Jugendherberge Unleashed"
                       
[Sequel to "Jugendherberge," this tale (in English, this time) finds Dani faced with a troubling situation: the youth hostel parents have been murdered, and the heir, Helmut Popinstuf, has been abducted. Racing through layers of debauchery, will Dani save Haslichmuttiberg and live to "always dance" another day?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 3.0
        * "Visually Impaired Date"

                        [The second installment of this dating show brings us the contestant, Low Standards, and his various trials and tribulations in dating three "Bachelorishes" including a caveman and a woman with more than one screw loose upstairs. Find out if Low Standards can find the girl of his dreams, or any girls at all!]
        * "Cooking Corner: Root Beer Floats"
                        [Cooking Corner returns, this time with delicious root beer floats on the menu. Or... not so delicious. Only Joey knows for sure!]
        * News Briefs (Voterage 2004)
                        [Joseph Chapman and John Nielsen discuss the presidential election, the candidates being George W. Bush, Saddam Hussein, Linux, and Manfred Online.]
        * Movie Mayhem: The Pants
                        [Joseph Chapman and Karl Nielsen talk about an upcoming feature film, The Pants, in this first installment of Movie Mayhem.]
        * "Cooking Corner: Strawberry Lemonade"
                        [Joe, Anthony, and John host this episode of Cooking Corner, which attempts to bring us a delectable strawberry lemonade...like substance.]
        * "The Black & White Zone"
                        [In this new take on The Twilight Zone, several average suburban youths are faced with a new soda that just MIGHT turn whoever drinks it into a zombie. Will Joseph Leonard Michael Trogdor Cleary heed the warnings of his dearly departed friend, or become one of the crowd and drink Frist? And can he get to the bottom of its mysteries? Find out!]
        * Grim Reaper Instructional Institute Presents:
"It's An Impractical Life"
                       
[This heart-warming spoof of the classic It's a Wonderful Life finds Death showing Bethany what her life would be like if she was never born, in a less-than-heart-warming attempt to get a promotion, an office with a window, and a date with her friend, Mandy.]
        * Meaning of Life ("When News Breaks")
        * Car Commercial: The 2004 Amuck

                        [C80's first car commercial! The 2004 Amuck, from Titanic Motors (now with financing). Learn all about the must-have features of the Amuck, as we did.]
        * "People" with Hollywood Lamaramar - Episode 3
                        [In this episode of "People," host Hollywood Lamaramar interviews two gentleman on either side of the debate about reality television: is it a hindrance or a haven for America?]


Channel 80 News - Episode 11 - One Leg at a Time
       
* "Cooking Corner Episode G: Marinade Sauce"
                        [In this cooking show episode, Joe Chapman, Pettigrew, and special guest star Grandma learn just what it means when the "hills are alive with the sound of cooking." It may... or may NOT be... delicious.]
        * Special Feature:
"The Pants"
                       
[The long-awaited feature-film spoof of Hitchcock's "The Birds" was nominated for several awards at a college film festival. Ingo Martini and his sister Donna visit the Jones Family Retreat in search of some low-priced relaxation... but soon they find that something has mysteriously caused pants to come alive and strangle people to death! Attempting to escape into Canada, Ingo is plagued at every turn by pants. Can this mystery be solved by leaving town, or will it take more effort to evade... the pants?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 11.0
        * "Judge Julie: Case of the Cell Phones"

                        [This courtroom drama takes a reality-TV-spin as America is invited to vote on the outcome of the day's cases. Will America vote in favor of the plaintiff, a poor young woman with no short-term memory; or the defendant, an FBI agent just trying to protect his country? Will Julie be able to maintain order in her courtroom? And will those cell phones ever stop ringing?]
        * Products: Insta-Dog-in-a-Bottle Redux
        * SINRS Preview: Really Real Reality TV

                        [SINRS, the Super-Interesting Network for Reality Series, brings us a preview of a reality series so real, they might have taken things a little too far.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 12 - Nearly Lost Episode
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #1 - 'Chewagumabar'
                       
[The first episode of the spin-off of C80's superhero series, "Super Slow Reaction Man." The protagonist, Manfraud Dueller, wanders into the Township of Schwartz, having escaped a grim death during the last SSRM episode. Buying a trinket known only as the Shard of Chewagumabar off of a discharged private, Manfraud becomes the superhero Deficiency Boy. Meanwhile, a previously-innocent woman known as Hezedipapa stumbles onto the Globe of Milkish Freakyness and becomes a super-villainess. With help from Lawful Good, Deficiency Boy attempts to ward off this new evil---but faces once again, the temptation of evil himself. Will his good side, or his dark, "duplicitous" side win out in the end?]
        * (Mid-Day Movie) The Salem Gypsy II
                       
[Death returns to the site of the original film, now an overgrown forest, to investigate matters regarding the infamous titular monster. Lost in the same woods, meanwhile, can an overly paranoid guy, a stoned rock star, an introverted filmmaker and a monkey escape the woods alive---or will they, too, become the next meal for... The Salem Gypsy?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 12.0
        * "Cooking Corner Episode Yellow: Cuddled Eggs"

                        [With the help of some crafty, Middle-Eastern vegetarian lesbians, Joe attempts to bring the taste delight 'Cuddled Eggs' to the world in this Cooking Corner episode.]
        * "
Mission: Implausible!: Freshly Laundered Russians"
                       
[The President's most secret plans have suddenly gone missing. His lead agent, Agent A, enlists the help of stealthy agency spy Agent L, Latisha, to recover the plans. Agent L ventures out to find the creator of the plans, scientist Karen Smart, and encounters freshly laundered Russians and the dastardly Ned Farious. Will her efforts be met with success? And just what are the plans for, anyway?]
        * Badly Dubbed Foreign Film: "The Ninja Danced at High Noon"
                        [The second badly-dubbed foreign film features three samurai engaged in a fierce battle. Meanwhile, their dialogue consists of mostly what you'd hear in a dentist's office, as dubbed in by those offscreen.]
        * "Death Can't Get Lucky"
                        [Death battles an agent from an insurance company for the rights to the souls of the newly departed.]
        * Meaning of Life ("I wanna live, Mary!")


Channel 80 News - Episode 13 - The Lucky One
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #2 - 'Edge of the World'
                       
[Hearing of an artifact that might increase his powers, Deficiency Boy travels to the Edge of the World, in search of the Sword of Shribdia. Meanwhile, the Surfing Mystic, an eternal lord of the ocean waves, is dragged along on a quest to unlock the sword's powers for our hero. Will Hezedipapa twist the Mystic, her ex-boyfriend, to her own designs? Will Deficiency Boy recover the Sword once and for all? And what is the secret behind the mysterious "Bjorn"?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 12.0 Optimized
        * Holocron: Episode 1 - "If We Make It"

                        [This marks the premiere of Holocron, a special show based on voicework and footage from the game "Star Wars: Jedi Knight Academy." While it eventually became a stand-alone feature, the first five episodes are embedded in C80 episodes themselves. The first episode details the journey of several college students to Kamino University (run by Jawas) to begin their schooling: Sebastian, our protagonist, a bright young man with veterinary aspirations; Johan, a neurotic guy obsessed with (and majoring in) hats; Bob, a huge lizardman majoring in beauty studies; Xander, a cynical man majoring in botany (and English!); and Beatrice, a mercenary disguising herself as a student. Once they reach the university, Johan mysteriously vanishes. Can the others get to the bottom of this mystery, or will their youthful apathy shine through?]


S2 Special Feature - Public Disservice Announcement (#1)
       
* "Drinking Problem of the Ages"
                        [This mockumentary reveals a simple problem: drunkenness on college campuses. Narrated by the PDAnnouncer, we see Koby pull his friend Paul into a drunken world of partying, lesbians, and general irresponsibility.]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 12.0 Optimized
        * "More Than Ones and Zeroes" with The Linear Sequence

                        [Gertie is infatuated with her new computer program, which just happens to be the nefarious Linear Sequence. Will love blind her, or can her friends get her to see the (natural) light, before it's too late?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 15.5
        *
Bonanza Bridget - Search For the Pygmy-Back Nielsen
                       
[Bonanza Bridget, another cousin to Bonanza Bob, stars in this adventurous romp into a hotel plagued mysterious, furniture-ruining pests. Accompanied by her wife/assistant, Pinky, Bridget attempts to get to the bottom of things, possibly at the hotel owners' expense. Okay, not even possibly---definitely.]
        * "Meningicoccus Vaccine"
                        [Details the dangers of kissing/sharing drinks with one or more of your classmates. This is how disease spreads, people!]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 14 - Ambush
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #3 - 'Mystic Mix'
                       
[With Hezedipapa and Moe the Surfing Mystic united in an attempt to defeat Deficiency Boy, our hero seeks the aid of Moe's sister, the Kayaking Mystic, and her fellow Mystics. However, the Mystics are embroiled in a battle with the Amish over the local water supply. As Deficiency Boy enters a grueling test to become a Mystic himself, the Amish recruit Captain Obvious to help them fight the Mystics----and meanwhile, Mister Eye is prodding both sides for his own ends. Will Deficiency Boy be able to contain his dark side when faced with his opponent and former ally? Or will Mister Eye pull the wool over ALL their eyes?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 15.5
        * News Briefs
        * Ambush Reporting with Blake Robertson

                        [Field reporter Blake Robertson ambushes several unsuspecting and possibly intoxicated college students to get their thoughts on various matters.]
        * Meaning of Life Special Presentation (WMV: "Gallivanting")
        * Season 1 Music Video by Anthony


Channel 80 News - Episode 15 - Expedition
        * News Briefs
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #4 - 'Melee'
                       
[With the mysterious "Bjorn" in hand, Deficiency Boy returns to the Edge of the World in an attempt to seek out the legendary Orb Crafter. Meanwhile, Hezedipapa and Mo have hatched a new evil plan involving the "Anti-Bjorn" in order to destroy our hero. Even with the help of his new sidekick, Capable Lad, and fellow hero Lawful Good, can Deficiency Boy defeat the World Domination Squad of Hezedipapa, Mo the Surfing Mystic, and the puzzling Confuzzler? And what... of the Orb Crafter?]
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 16.34566579, Elect MOL for President
        * Holocron: Episode 2 - "The Game's Afoot"

                        [In an attempt to find Johan, Xander and Sebastian Kamino U. students discover the mind-boggling beings known as "Spectators" living under the school. Meanwhile, Bob and Beatrice compete in a capture-the-flag match. The arrival of the "new girl," Tiffany of Evil, leaves all of them in the office of the Jawa known as the Prininciple. See these antics and more in the second episode of "Star Wars: Holocron."]
        * Meaning of Life ("Drowning!")
        * Meaning of Life ("Balance")
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 16 - National Disquieter
       
* News Briefs
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 27: President (Voterage 2005)
        * Holocron: Episode 3 - "Phantom Fluoride"

                        [All hell breaks loose in this third episode of Holocron as the Jawa staff of Kamino University discover that there's "something in the water" causing everyone to hallucinate. As the Prininciple tries to get to the bottom of things, Sebastian, Johan, and the others experience vivid dream-worlds. The fraternity of Luke Skywalker clones (The Lukes) battle it out with a beast in the cafeteria. In a cliffhanger ending, Sebastian finds Beatrice in the basement, but has she discovered what's plaguing the water, or does she just want a bigger dorm room?]
        * Manfred Instant Messenger (MIM)
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #5 - 'It's a Wonderful Strife'
                       
[In need of some caffeine and introspection, Deficiency Boy takes a sabbatical, leaving his impressionable young sidekick Capable Lad in the hands of Lawful Good---the latter being on a quest to find the legendary Orb of Life, with which to fully restore Super Slow Reaction Man. Getting wind of this plan, however, are Hezedipapa and the Confuzzler, who conspire to swap the Orb of Life for the Orb of Strife. With Captain Obvious joining their group, Capable Lad and co. make their way to the orb, only to have the Orb of Strife transform Lawful Good into the evil Anarchy Lad, who immediately joins forces with the villains. Soon Capable Lad is captured and faced with a choice of allegiance. Will evil cover the land?]
        * Useless Weather
        * Trailer: Private Toe

                        [Trailer for the upcoming sequel to the first "Swiss Rolls" adventure.]
        *
"Mission: Implausible 2: Expatriot Act"
                       
[A year after the debacle with the "plans," President Robert E. Wee dispatches his vice president, who then dispatches retired Agent L and Ex-Agent X to recover the plans from the Freshly Laundered Russian. Meanwhile, Yakuza, a one-man Japanese mob, is after the plans to give to his love, Hännah-Hero, as an anniversary gift. As these forces collide, who will end up with the plans this time---or will anyone?]


S2 Special Feature: Memory Avenue XP
       
[This feature, a clipshow, chronicled the first two seasons of C80, divided by an overview of heroes, villains, memorable moments, and outtakes. It was later updated at an unknown time and retitled "XP" to allow for the new footage.]



[Season 3]

Channel 80 News - Episode 17 - Frog Fu
       
* Useless Weather Special - Anthony on location
                        [Anthony investigates just what is up with the weather on his college campus, complete with interviews from all the experts in the field.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Link")
        * Swiss Rolls #2 - "Private Toe: Return of Swiss Rolls"

                        [Following a humiliating demotion, Death is forced to host a Spring Break Dance Special featuring teens and crazy co-eds taking a break from their crazy lifestyles. Detective Swiss Rolls (and his new assistant-slash-doormat, Number One), meanwhile, is hired by one of the less-social kids to 'break' up the festivities and put an end to Death's Spring once and for all. Will this Spring Break be a dark one for Death, or will Swiss Rolls fail to complete the caper? And can a Doormat really battle a Doorstop?]
        * Holocron: Episode 4 - "Mercy for the Mercenary"
                        [Before picking up where we left off, we are treated to a flashback detailing Johan's days as a school bus driver, and Sebastian's high school days, in which he met a very quirky young man named Rosh, who, infatuated with Sebastian, followed him all the way to college. We also meet a veritable smorgasbord of characters, including the Janitor, the devious Alora, the lead Luke, and the source of all the water troubles, a ghost obsessed with dental hygiene, Phantom Fluoride. Sebastian is forced to strike down one of his fellow students (possessed by Fluoride), but who?]
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #6 - 'Crafty Orb Crafter'
                       
[Sent by the villainous World Domination Squad (Hezedipapa, Moe, Confuzzler, and Anarchy Lad) to kill Deficiency Boy, Capable Lad finds that he just can't do it, and rejoins our hero. Meanwhile, the Orb Crafter, dismayed that her creations have been used for evil, summons the heroes to her garden. She then regretfully uses the Orb of Evolution to devolve all her orbs, leaving everyone effectively powerless. In this umissable episode of Deficiency Boy, the tables are turned, powers are juggled, and both heroes and villains fall from grace... while others rise to the occasion. Find out who is left powerless and who is left in power, as well as who loses their memory, in this exciting chapter.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 18 - Rain of Blood
       
* Meaning of Life ("Singing in the Rain")
        * "Lettuce with Link"

                        [Link, of "Legend of Zelda" fame, hosts his own cooking show---but can he keep his recipes from the greedy clutches of Gamindork? Or avoid a trip to the hospital?]
        * "Cave of Garaaasssh Sale" with The Wizard
                        [The Wizard, having stolen a good deal of the Orb Crafter's personal belongings, hosts a garage sale in hopes of making a profit. The Orb Crafter is not fooled.]
        * Products: Thermafreeze Shampoo (within the "Sale"), Frell Laptop (same)
        * "People" with Hollywood Lamaramar - Episode 4

                        [Hollywood Lamaramar interviews a Taco Bell spokesman, and a Ukrainian named Svetlana who claims that drooling over all the tacos has flooded her homeland.]
        * (Mid-Day Movie) "
Postbusters"
                       
[This parody of Ghostbusters pits the evils of mailman and monstrous postal employees of all time against the do-gooding Postbusters. With humble beginnings and toys from the early nineties as their only weapons against postal evil, the Postbusters battle the forces of Postmaster Jenkins in an effort to help their friend, Dana McRaina, as well as everyone else.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 19 - Popular Podunk
        *
Bonanza Bade and Friends
                       
[Bonanza Bridget's brother, Bonanza Bade, and his assistant, Twinky-Joe, brave the wilderness on a quest to rid themselves of the terrible Redneck Bigfoot.]
        * "Cooking Corner Episode L: Milkshake"
                        [Joe, Ben, and the Prescott brothers host this glamorous Cooking Corner in which a horrific (I mean, wonderful) milkshake is concocted. Not for the faint of heart (or stomach)!]
        * "Behind the Music: Toxic Mayonnaise"
                        [Parody of VH1's Behind the Music featuring a fictional band, "Toxic Mayonnaise," and their trials, path to success, and humble origins, featuring original songs and interviews.]
        * Sports Junk - "Fantasy Combat"
                        [Johännah Larsen hosts a special Sports Junk revealing the intricacies of "boffering," or the art of fantasy combat.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 20 - Sadistic Summer
       
* Dumbsville Disaster 2005
                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman brings us to a breaking news report in Dumbsville, where the half the town's population has reportedly disappeared. Through interviews with Mayor Seymour Gals, Miss Dumbsville 2000, and the C.E.O. of "Dumbsville Assets Incorporated," he attempts to get to the bottom of this disaster story.]
        * "Acquaintances: The Home Version"
                        [This combination of "Friends" and "Survivor" pits a clean-freak, Niles (as seen in the original promo for Acquaintances), against a hobo, Jeffer, to see who can win the coveted position as the roommate of a very rich man with a very nice house.]
        * Products: F-Mobile "Mobile-P" Phone
        * Manfred Online (MOL): Version 33
        * Promo: John Online Beta (JOL)
        * Special Report: "West Clackamas Nile Virus"

                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman reports on a deadly virus sweeping the area, and attempts to locate its cause.]
        * Holocron: Episode 5 - "General Grieving"
                        [In the last episode of Holocron to be featured within a C80 episode, Rosh hits on General Grievous, Tiffany is promoted from "the New Girl" to "the Girl," Beatrice's sisters are informed of her death, and the Prininciple attempts to plan for upcoming parent-teacher conferences. We also meet a foul-mouthed C-3PO and a quirky R2-D2, and Johan goes to detention.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 21 - The Twenty-First Day
       
* C80 Closeup/Exposé: "The Wizard Special"
                        [In this spectacular C80 special, Joseph Chapman takes us on a magical journey into the origins of The Wizard. Through interviews and flashbacks with an all-star cast, we learn how the Wizard influenced such biblical and historical figures as Adam and Eve, Noah, Joan of Arc (who is actually Jim of Arc), and how he touched such prominent figures as the Orb Crafter---even the origins of Super Slow Reaction Man!]
        * Outtakes
        * Montage of Pictures


Channel 80 News - Episode 22 - Squirrel Fu
       
* Swiss Rolls #3 - "The Return of the Return of Swiss Rolls: This Time It's Personal"
                        [This time around, Swiss Rolls and Number One are living the sweet life, having nicked a priceless idol from Death, when Rolls learns from the Blind Mayor and Vice-Mayor Tim that due to a lag in tax payments, he is about to lose his house. Death, meanwhile, learns of the missing idol and furiously ventures out to destroy Swiss Rolls once and for all. Will Swiss Rolls find his check in time to save his house? Will Vice-Mayor Tim's dark ambitions be realized? And will Death ever, ever get that office with a window??]
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #7 - 'This Was Your Life'
                       
[An all-star showdown ensues when Mandread Crueller and Super Slow Reaction Man face off for the first time in years, drawing a crowd of power players not seen in some time. Anarchy Lad, moving to seal his position as the main villain, kidnaps Deficiency Boy and mockingly uses a game-show format to usher in the hero's demise. Interviewing Mandread, SSRM, Captain Obvious, Gordo, the Orb Crafter, the Wizard, Hezedipapa, Mo the Surfing Mystic, and Capable Lad, Anarchy Lad steals away DB's morale in an attempt to prepare him for his doom. Is it finally curtains for our hero?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 23 - It's a Good Thing
       
* C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Martha Stewart: Calamitous Cult of a Crafty Cooking Criminal"
                        [This C80 Closeup examines the life of domestic diva Martha Stewart following her release from prison for insider trading. Apparently, her new show bombed, and she's gone back to prison to be with all the friends she made. Interviews and inmates ensue.]
        * "Cooking Corner Episode Scree: Saloup"
                        [Hosts Joe Chapman and Anthony as well as contractually-bound Joey Cleary return to Cooking Corner to answer the question: can salad be combined with soup? Find out.]
        * "Lettuce with Link: Hyrulian Cuisine - Dodongo Muffins"
                        [Link, Princess Zelda, and Villager #65 co-host this cooking extravaganza, featuring all sorts of Hyrulian Cuisine and video game references. Make sure you don't miss the wacky ending!]


Channel 80 News - Episode 24 - Postbusters II
       
* DVD ad for "Postbusters"
                        [Recaps the first "Postbusters" in the form of an advertisement for its DVD release.]
        * Feature Presentation:
"Postbusters II"
                       
[Five years after the first film, this parody of Ghostbusters 2 finds the Postbusters in the less than enviable position of entertaining at birthday parties. But when an evil postcard dispatches its mailman agents to steal Elaina McRaina's baby, Bologna, it seems the mailman-fighting Postbusters are back in business! Can they save the day... again?]
        * Outtakes


[Season 4]

S4 Special Feature: Return to Memory Avenue
       
[Compiled at the beginning of Season 4, after episode 25 was complete, this clipshow more comprehensively reviewed C80: once again, divided into sections detailing heroes, villains, memorable moments, and outtakes.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 25 - Drinking Happy
       
* Public Disservice Announcement 2: Drinking Problem of the Ages 2
                        [Having apparently failed to make his point the first time around, the PDAnnouncer once again takes us into the booze-filled lives of Koby and Paul, now roommates, as they host a drunken party this time featuring underage drinking, fast and loose foreign exchange students, and one really bad Santa----in a mockumentary attempting to inform and educate, of course!]
        * Special Feature: "Finding Happy"
                        [News correspondent Joseph Chapman asks: what is happiness? In this special presentation, various factions searching for this elusive "happy" are interviewed---factions including everything from the selfless explorer, Vinerita Amazon-Yoder, to the rich and powerful, to the greedy corporate mogul, to the military itself. Will any of them find what they seek? Or is "happy" just a lie?]
        * John Online (JOL): Beta
        * Useless Weather on Location: "Snowlina"

                        [Johännah Larsen interviews Snowlina, a snow-person summoned by an evil snow sorceror, in an attempt to find out just what snow is and where it comes from.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 26 - Gorbtastic
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #8 - 'Duplicity'
                       
[In one of the most ground-breaking DB episodes ever, a mysterious new presence emerges known as the Gold Orb Crafter, or Gorb Crafter. An all-star cast prepares for a battle royale as Anarchy Lad and Confuzzler hire new sidekicks---Narcolepsy Girl, Boogie Boy, and the Surfing Mystic (again!)---and as the Orb Crafter herself is taken out of the picture. Heroes will become villains, villains will become confused, unbelievable alliances will be forged, and love will conquer all in this laughtastic episode of Deficiency Boy.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 27 - An Idea For a Show
       
* C586 Remote Submission: "Conrad's Anguish"
                        [Crossover-affiliate John Johnson angsts over the realization that he missed his chance to appear in C80 Season 3.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Showing Up John")
        * Useless Weather on Location: "Feel the Brunshine"

                        [A lively Joe Chapman reports on the dark (but fun) side of the weather.]
        * Car Commercial: The Buick
                        [Johännah Larsen stars in C80's 2nd car commercial, reveling in the wonders of her Buick. Don't miss it!]
        * Special Report: "Sober Situation"
                        [When pipes burst, flooding a fraternity, C80 correspondents humorously weigh in as to the true cause.]
        * Meaning of Life ("The Fog Machine")
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 1

                        [A parody of "The View" with only one host and the tendency to cut in the middle of interviews--to anything at all---the Rear View is a new type of show. In the inaugural episode, Starla Simmons interviews the Curator (of a very famous museum), and Mr. Kittyface, a cat hybrid with sharp political views.]
        * C586 Special Presentation: Safari Jim Expedition Show - Episode 42 - "Bounced by Bonanza Brian"
                        [The C80 presentation of this episode of Jeremy White's own long-running "Safari Jim Expedition Show" was intended as one half of a C80 crossover, introducing another cousin of Bonanza Bob---Bonanza Brian---who replaces Safari Jim, the show's protagonist, on his own show, until Jim finds a way to boot his Bonanza butt over to Channel 80 where he belongs.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 28 - Eat at Eaty's
        *
"Mission: Implausible 3: Hunger For Power"
                       
[With Karen Smart vanished, Agent A has gone batshit loco in his search for her. When he recovers her mysterious undergarments, he resurrects the slain Yakuza in an attempt to gain access to the now lost secret plans--the remnants of which could be found either in Yakuza's own head or the mind of his own ex-agent, Latisha. A former intern of Karen's, Randy, or Agent R, warns Latisha about this new plan, and she gathers a ragtag band that includes her own ex-foe, Ned Farious, to stop Agent A. Meanwhile, Hännah-Hero is delighted with her newly resurrected Yakuza, and will do anything to stop her former friend Latisha. Everything is leading up to a mega-showdown over those oh-so-infamous plans---and who lives to eat at Eaty's and who won't survive another day is all depending on Latisha. Will the plans be recovered? And what of the president's beard?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 29 - Misplaced
       
* Meaning of Life ("Answering Machine")
        * "Misplaced" (Trailer and Feature)

                        [This loose parody of "Lost" follows seven people who, following a celebrity-studded plane crash onto a mysterious island, are forced to do anything they can to survive. Can a camp counselor, a father of thirteen, a talking mime, a knife salesman, an inventor, a schizophrenic, a mafia member and a milkman who might be something more cooperate to live? Or will their differences end up being the end of them? And... what is the secret of the island?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 30 - Restoriffic
       
* Meaning of Life ("Skip to Live")
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #9 - 'Restoriffic'
                       
[Having left off on a rather dark note, this two part DB saga continues. As Anarchy Lad, Moe, Duplicity Man, and Meth Lad have taken over Eden, they are met with another ally---a ninja demon from hell. But after being cast out by Anarchy Lad, Meth Lad mistakenly wakes up the Orb Crafter, who quickly moves to counter the evil her rival, the Gold Orb Crafter, has spread throughout the world. Can Noah and the Wizard get along long enough to restore order? Will Meth Lad and Duplicity Man remain villains, or will they return to their heroic origins? And is the Orb Crafter powerful enough to stop a woman that the devil herself has sent to cause mayhem? Find out in this exciting conclusion.]
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 2
                        [In this second episode of this irreverent talk show, Starla Simmons interviews singer Julio Garcia about her new album, as well as the famous Dr. Smith Von Kluggenheimen and a patient of his who may be carrying a range of undiscovered diseases.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 31 - Innuendisode
        *
Bonanza Bob - In Search of the Idol of Zurukan
                       
[Bonanza Bob triumphantly returns, with his butler Dinky in tow, to go on another adventure. It seems the Mayan King and Queen, during a marital spat, broke a valuable idol in half and are now warring over control of the pieces. It is said that whoever holds the idol will have the power to rule whatever land they are from. With Bob working for the Queen, and the King having hired rival adventurer Safari Jim, and still a third adventurer, the selfless Vinerita Amazon-Yoder all after the idol, things will get crazy. Add to the trouble a rebelling Aboriginal populace and a sneaky internet businessman, and you have a prime setup for some hilarious antics.]
        * Car Commercial: The 2006 Universal
                        [If you thought the 2004 Amuck was a great car, wait until you see the commercial for the car that can fit the Amuck in its trunk. (and more!)]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Trees"
                        [Joseph Chapman investigates the pros and cons of trees by interviewing those on all sides of the debate: studious scientists, angry lumberjacks, carefree hippies, proponents of the home-building industry, and one pissed-off tree fairy.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 32 - Spice of Life
       
* "SMB Melee Munchies: Super Sugar Cookies"
                        [Mario and Luigi of Super Mario Bros. fame start off their new cooking show by taking Zelda, from Lettuce with Link, out of the picture. While making delicious sugar cookies, Mario and Luigi encounter the likes of Ness, Wario, and one very sassy Koopa Troopa.]
        * Trailer: FFVII Advent Children
        * Movie Mayhem: "Advent Children"
                        [Movie Mayhem takes on the English version of the popular film "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children".]
        * John Online (JOL): Beta with Dual Processor Support
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 3

                            [The third episode of The Rear View is outta-control as Starla Simmons interviews the Curator's son Richard, a librarian; and the son of Ronald McDonald.]
        * Outtakes

 


[Season 5]

S5 Special Feature - Public Disservice Announcement 3
       
* Products: F-Mobile
        * "The Bangshawang Hour" with Bangma, Lawangsha, and Johnisha

                        [Fresh from C586, Bangma joins her friends Johnisha and Lawangsha in a no-holds barred talkfest where the looks get dirty and the talk gets dirtier. In this episode the trio chats it up with Jared Limp, who is promoting his calendar devoted to hot math majors, or "math hotties."]
        * Car Commercial: The EMObile
                        [Life got you down? All ready to write dark poetry on your "MySpace"? Hold it, and check out the commercial for the EMObile. It just might be the car for you.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Shower Time Fun Boy")
        * Web Submission: Kyle & Johännah

S5 Special Feature - Season 5 Preview Special
       
* "Weirdest Link"
                        [The hit game show returns with its original host. This episode features a friendly hair-dresser, a psychic, a trigger-happy huntress, a man possessed by a demonic car salesman, a man obsessed with fabric, and now-perennial game show guest Jeffer (from "Acquaintances")
        * "The Puce Panther"
                        [When a farmer makes a dark deal with a drug dealer, and a famous French doctor ends up mysteriously murdered, who is there to call but Inspector Jeu le Deu, and his assistant, MacGunda? No one, that's who.]
        * SINRS Promo: Sleeping Booty
                        [SINRS previews a new reality show where eligible bachelors compete for the hand of a knockout babe---in a coma.]
        * Aliems Promo
                        [Promotional ad for an upcoming sci-fi series, 'Aliems'.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 33 - Nearly Lost Episode 2
       
* News Briefs
        * Special Report: Sandlina
        * Useless Weather on location
        * Sports Junk
        * Finance News
        * Tech. News
        * Travel Guide
        * Products: Soak Up Life, P8
        * "Swiss Rolls 4: Fransosich Fatality"

                        [When a masked assailant assassinates a visiting French diplomat, tourism threatens to plummet in the lustful Village of Ted. Can Swiss Rolls and Number One stand to team up with Inspector Jeu le Deu, AKA the Puce Panther, and his assistant MacGunda? Together, with the assistance of the Blind Mayor and her new Vice-Mayor Alan and Vice-Vice-Mayor Koon, can they solve the crime in time to keep the city's coffers full? Meanwhile, Doorstop shows up, alive and well, but with little memory of his past. What is he up to?]


Channel 80 News - Episode 34 - Film Be Free
       
* Products: Water Classic
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #10 - 'Put Him in the Box''
                       
[Fourth-wall be damned in this mind-blowing episode of Deficiency Boy. Baited by the Orb Crafter, The Wizard accidentally agrees to become Deficiency Boy's new sidekick as penance for his past misdeeds---and is assigned a parole officer, Insomniac Lass. This team-up comes not a moment too soon, as Anarchy Lad, his Orb of Strife fully powered up, kidnaps the Silent Narrator in a bold attempt to seize power. With the almighty narrative powers at his disposal, can Anarchy Lad's chaos be stopped this time? And what---or WHO---can stop evil now? You may not believe the answer. Don't miss this exciting episode!]
        * Meaning of Life ("Charlie Clock")
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 4

                        [Starla interviews a man with an 'shocking' aversion to perverse thoughts, and in a landmark interview, welcomes back The Curator and her son Richard.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 35 - Immoral Combat!
        *
Philadelphia Jones
                       
[Famed archaeologist Philadelphia Jones finds an unexpected adventure when Madam Palm Olive of the Museum of Crappy Art commissions his help in recovering a valuable statue of the Egyptian god, Anubis. However, the idol is rumored to have special powers, powers coveted by none other than the Martha Stewart Cult, led by her former prison-mate, Skinner. Can Philly overcome the odds without getting someone killed and ruining his perfect record? Find out!]
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 5
                        [When Starla Simmons finally beats out Oprah Winfrey on scoring a sought-after interview (with Oprah's own ex-chef), it leads to an epic showdown between the talk titans. Can Starla come out on top, or will "Ohp'er" continue to reign supreme?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 36 - The Episode Made Entirely of Small Things
       
* Meaning of Life ("Soccer Practice!")
        * Products: Compilation Album (SadSadBoy76's Sad Sad Album), Thirsty Paper Towels, Gorb Crafter's Goods, Irish Spring, Sobe Abomination, En Tube!, Mister Eye’s Car Spree, Alrats Industries Resorts (Rear View Hotel), Water 2

        * Useless Weather with Johännah Larsen
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): Snow & Enron in Salem

                        [Formerly under the jurisdiction of disgraced energy company Enron, snow is now flying free in Salem due to a leak in their company’s security. News correspondent Joseph Chapman interviews an Enron spokesman, several Salem residents, the city’s founders, and even the snow itself to get to the bottom of the story.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Noids")
        * Useless Weather Update
        * Meaning of Life (“Reflections”)
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News – Episode 37 – Mirror Image

        
* Meaning of Life (“When Goudy’s Away, Ninjas Will Play”)
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #11 – ‘Split Difference’
                       
[This episode of DB will have you remembering the old days again---in more ways than one! When the Orb Crafter goes on a much-needed vacation, she charges Deficiency Boy with taking care of her garden---and her orbs. With the Wizard away as well, DB is flying solo. Things go swimmingly until those insufferable henchmen from the past, Gordo and Grodo, steal two of the orbs while our hero slumbers. To make matters worse, Hezedipapa is gathering her forces to assert herself as top villain again---her Globe of Milkish Freakyness recharged at last. Tricked by his own dark side into freeing Duplicity Man from his body, Deficiency Boy finds himself overwhelmed and undertrained. Can Lawful Good (as well as a surprise guest) train DB to be all he can be, before it’s too late?]
        * Meaning of Life (“Whip It”)
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 38 - Bomb Voyage
       
* News Briefs
        *
Mission: Implausible 4: Executive Indecision
                       
[A year after failing to assassinate President Wee, the ex-Vice President, Nathaniel Cookies Nathaien, has hatched a bold revenge plot---involving the Freshly Laundered Russian, who has been choking on a marshmallow peep since 2005. It's up to newly-reinstated Agent A, reluctant Agent L, the Yakuza, and Hännah-Hero to protect the President and his new Vice President from danger---but can they do it?---in this "explosive" fourth outing of the Mission: Implausible saga.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 39 - Hearing Problems
       
*
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #12 - 'The Wizard's Hearing'
                       
[In a special episode of DB, The Wizard is once again put in the hot seat---but this time it's not for a casual interview, but rather a hearing to decide whether or not to restore his powers (powers he once held as the Enforcer of Deity Force). With the Gorb Crafter, Demonobi, and Satan herself arguing against The Wizard, it is up to Deficiency Boy and Death to defend him... with God as the judge and jury. In a hilarious trip down memory lane, see how The Wizard (as Random Reporter Guy) affected such major historical figures as Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Cleopatra, Henry VIII and many many more. Will The Wizard finally get his powers back, or will his past be too horrifying to overcome? Don't miss it!]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 40 - Infirmation Superhighway
       
* Web Submission:
Adventures with the Elderly
                       
[Mr. Vandervert has invited Muriel over to make some Jiffy Pop. Will they succeed? Will they fail? Will they figure out how to open the package? And what of Vandervert's one-year-voyage to Antarctica? Find out in Adventures of the Elderly!]
        * Swiss Rolls 5: "Darkham Day"
                        [With Number One/Doormat off on a mating season trip, Swiss Rolls finds himself on vacation with Vice-Vice-Mayor Koon. The thing is, his pier has been destroyed and his boat is gone---who is to blame?! Meanwhile, Death is in town, and shady things are happening at Darkham Asylum, the home of Ex-Vice-Mayor Tim... can Swiss Rolls get to the bottom of this "plot"?]
        * Outtakes


[Season 6]


S6 Special Feature: The Lost Episodes
       
* (S2) - Rear View Prototype
                        [Finally, the original concept for The Rear View is revealed.]
        * (S4) - C80 Beginner's Guide
                        [A beginner's guide to Channel 80 News]
        * (S5) - Just When You Thought it was Safe...
                        [Initially a promo for Aliems, now a promo for our website.]
        * (S5) - Coming of Age
                        [The opening scenes from a coming-of-age film that was never finished.]
        * (S5) - Behind-the-Scenes
                        [The aftermath of a cast member's head injury, examined]


S6 Special Feature: Presidential Pre-Preliminaries
        [Joseph Chapman interviews a couple of the 2008 presidential hopefuls, such as Blindocrat candidate Frank Marconi, incumbent Cookocrat President Robert E. Wee, and John Online Beta. Includes campaign commercials from all three.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 41 - Bonanzas, Bands, & Bandits
       
* News Briefs
        * Products: Thoop Classic, Happy-Crazy-Go-Lucky Pills, Insta-Dog-in-a-Bottle Deluxe
        * "Securitiez"

                        [They aren't cops, but these two officers from E.T. Securitiez sure do keep the peace.]
        *
Bonanza Bade and Friends: In Search of Count Drixon
                       
[Recent vampire attacks have the Bonanza family running in fear. With Bonanza Bade targeted next by the wicked bloodsucker, Bonanza Bob’s butler Dinky and otherworldly explorer Safari Jim join forces to try and save the family. Will Bade break the “Bonanza Curse”? And who is Count Drixon really?]
        * Battle of the Bands 2007: Toxic Mayonnaise vs. Fajita Demon
                        [A battle of the bands takes place between newcomers “Fajita Demon” and industry veterans “Toxic Mayonnaise” (as previously seen in C80 #19). Features original songs performed by both bands.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 42 - Unreal Estate
       
* Meaning of Life (“Training”)
        * Cobblepot’s Crock of Products

                        [Cobblepot is back, and he has a whole lot more to sell you this time than a CD. Watch in horror as he invites guests and products to his chuckle-laden couch.]
        * News Briefs
        * Useless Weather on location
        * Meaning of Life (“A Lot on my Mind”)
        * Salem Gypsy Retrospective Trailer
        * (Mid-Day Movie)
The Salem Gypsy III: Residential Evil
                       
[Years ago, six campers were killed by the Salem Gypsy… and where they were slain, a forest grew up. In that forest, untold years later, Death and the Gypsy trapped another hapless band of travelers. Now, where that forest stood, an apartment building looms---an apartment building Death must use as a front to lure more victims to the Salem Gypsy. Can three strangers survive long enough to escape---or even achieve victory? You won’t believe the twists and turns in this, the final installment of “The Salem Gypsy.”]
        * Meaning of Life (“To Catch a Pygmy”)
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 43 - All Odds
       
* A Moment with Cobblepot
                        [Cobblepot, our jolly British spokesperson, is back for a third time, and this time he wants to make you so very… comfortable.]
        * Products: CID (Comfort in Death, the drink)
        * Useless Weather
        * Meaning of Life ("When Nature Calls... Itself")
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #13 - "The Cave of Grrraaasssh"
                       
[The time for change has risen as Deficiency Boy makes ready to help his sidekick, The Wizard, get his powers back at last. With the Orb Crafter, Wizard, Lawful Good, and Super-Slow Reaction Man in tow, DB makes his way towards the Cave of Grrraaasssh. But what of the villains---don’t think they’ll take the news sitting down. With Hezedipapa gone, Mo the Surfing Mystic is left to lead the World Domination Squad, and lead it he does---straight to the cave, bent on retrieving the powers. As several questions are answered, more are posed: Where did Hezedipapa go? What became of Capable Lad? Who is the mysterious “Newb Crafter” that has awakened? What did the Confuzzler find on his quest? What is the meaning of the “prophecy”… and will the Wizard actually get his powers back after all? Find out in this epic episode, part one of two, of Deficiency Boy.]
        * Outtakes


S6 Special Feature: The Pleasures and Pastimes of Elizabethan England
       
[This special feature, a class project, was included in C80 due to so many of its actors taking part in the video portion. Both educational and entertaining, this is the feature to watch if you were ever curious just what went on in the Elizabethan era of England.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 44 - Metropolitan Mystery
       
* Trailer: Mission Implausible 5
                        [Teaser trailer for the upcoming final installment of the MI series recaps the last movie.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Batman Newscast")
        * John Online (JOL): Beta - The Fated Hour
        * Swiss Rolls 6: "Key Conundrum"

                        [With her re-election campaign approaching swiftly, the Blind Mayor must once and for all show her voters the Key to the City so that she can be mayor once more. The trouble is, the key has been missing for ten years, since her earliest Vice-Mayor, Randall, vanished mysteriously. With Swiss Rolls and Doormat Number One on the case, one question leads to another. What was the late Donnie Darkham's involvement in the caper? What do the detective's various welcome mats have to do with it? What became of Randall? To find the answer, Swiss Rolls must dig deep into the secrets of the town's history... and his own past!]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 45 - Recipe for Disaster
       
* Kyle Online (KOL): Version 1.0
        * Trailer: Mission Implausible Final Recap
        *
Mission: Implausible 5: The Way the Cookie Crumbles
                       
[In the spirit of international cooperation, Agent Randy and the Freshly Laundered Russian put their heads together to craft a set of dangerous(ly delicious) new plans---all in secret, by the president's orders. But when Nathaniel Nathaien steals the fruits of those plans, the time comes to call the agents into action once more. As a dangerous Syndicate rife with terrorists who want the President dead rises to the occasion, can our heroes finally achieve peace?---Find out in this, the final installment of Mission: Implausible.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 46 -
Chill Out
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather on location: Portland's Evil Weatherman
        *
"Securitiez"
                       
[The Securitiez teamup of Burnowski and Turner go undercover into a hive of drugs and debauchery.]
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 6
                        [After having her house blown up by Oprah and taking a season's hiatus, Starla returns to the couch to interview an authoritative submarine captain and an astronaut about to embark on her first mission.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 47 - When Writers Strike
       
* "Visually Impaired Date"
                        [With no word from the franchise since Episode 10, the series returns with its third episode. This time, our contestant is Grace, a woman from the Midwest, just looking for a nice, normal date who likes to have some fun. What she finds is another cast of devastatingly odd 'Bachelorishes,' including a sheep-herder's daughter, a preacher, an umpire, and two more guests you will have to see to believe! Will the show finally make a love match? The answer may surprise you.]
        * Products: Revolut
        * Web Submission: When Boredom Strikes

                        [Joey and Julia terrify the masses with a submission that can only be described as "boredom set ablaze."]
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 7
                        [Already on a roll, Starla invites a man with several dark secrets to her couch, as well as a film festival director.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 48 - Demonic Mnemonic
        * Products: Revolut Dental
        *
Lor Crawford: Tomb Checker
                       
[Lor Crawford is good at one thing: hunting demons. Join him as he attempts to close down a dangerous demon gate. Which familiar faces will help him on his journey? Who has been possessed---and who hasn't? Will Lor and his apprentice make it out alive, or will demonic forces prevail? Find out in this feature, produced by Jeremy White.]
        * Outtakes


[Season 7]

S7 Special Feature: "A Look Back"
       
[In a truly special feature, members of the C80 cast take a look back at their memories of seven years of Channel 80 News and Holocron.]


S7 Special Feature: Public Disservice Announcement 4

        * PSA: “Native” Americans Speak Out
                        [Chief Walks-into-Walmart speaks out on behalf of Native Americans. And by “Native American,” we in no way mean “pasty white guy.” Not at all.]
        * Drinking Problem of the Ages 3: Drunk Driving
                        [It’s Spring Break, but Koby and Paul are out of Sobe. Leave it to their friends Olga and Santa to supply them for their next party. It’s another Drinking Problem of the Ages!]
        *Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 49 - More Small Stuff
       
* News Briefs
        * Fear Report
        * Useless Weather
        * Special Report: Global Warming
        * Sports Junk: Recycla-Ball
        * Kyle Online (KOL): Version 2.0
        * Products: Diet Water, Zote, Sobe No Fear, Pert Plus Perspirant
        * Meaning of Life: "Sticky Fingers"
        * Meaning of Life: "Singing in the Snow"
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 8

                        [Starla hosts a special episode featuring several troubled teens embroiled in a love triangle that's more than a little lopsided.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 50 - Crossroads
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Sports Junk
        *
The Adventures of Deficiency Boy #14 - “For the Cause”
                       
[Following the momentous battle at the Cave of Grrraaasssh and the return of the Wizard’s powers, the ancient prophecy of the tablet hinted at last time is about to be fulfilled. Sensing an opportunity to cause mayhem, the Gorb Crafter returns to earth from hell---but with all three Crafters active, the orbs have lost their energy. Meanwhile, endowed with the Wizard’s powers himself, Mo the Surfing Mystic and the last remnants of the World Domination Squad are poised to attack our heroes. As SSRM, Lawful Good, and the Wizard charge into battle with Mo and Boogie Boy, the Crafters must face off in a final bout… and Deficiency Boy must fulfill his destiny in the prophecy. As each side fights for its very survival, everyone will face the greatest toll thus far, the loss of loved ones, in this, the end of an era: an episode (part two of two) that will change the face of the show forever. Be sure not to miss it.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News – Episode 51 - Behold!
       
* Products: Compilation Album (Fifty Six’s 2-Pack For Tupac including “Unabombin’ 4 Peace”), Behold! Spray
        * Aliems: Episode Zero (Full Preview Trailer)

                        [After being promised in Season 5, the crew of Aliems is ready to debut. Check out this awesome preview trailer for the soon-to-premiere sci-fi extravaganza!]
        * Movie Mayhem: Sizzlin’ Summer Cinemas
                        [Movie Mayhem’s third installment examines several summer movies, including “Brass Man,” “The Last of the Native Aboriginals (starring Tom Cruise),” “Speed Racer,” and the Aliems series.]
        * “The Rear View” with Starla Simmons – Episode 9
                        [Starla returns with a special emergency episode: a recently imprisoned Hollywood starlet is in town, and the gossip has never been better for the taking.]
        * Meaning of Life (“Hula Hover”)
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 52 - Green With Envy
       
* Products: Joker's Anti-Depression "Confound" Pills
        * "Cooking Corner: Muffins"

                        [Cooking Corner returns for the first time since Season 3 with a vengeance. This time, they bring you muffins. Please, just believe that's what it is.]
        * "The Puce Panther 2: Defective Detectives"
                        [Inspector Jeu le Deu and MacGunda are back. Hired by an ambassador to find a missing jewel once belonging to Louis XVI, they are thrown into a baffling case when both the ambassador and gem vanish into thin air. Can they solve the case in time? Will Swiss Rolls finish his vacation, or meddle around in France? (The answer is the second one) And will slick American crime scene investigator Dingorius Dongway be a help or a hindrance?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 53 - Spoofapalooza 3
        * Products: Book Phone, P'n'P (Home of the Pocket Pig)
        * Meaning of Life ("Drinking Fountain")
        * News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Not-So-Masterpiece Theater presents:
"The Linear Sequence: Renovations"
                       
[Four years after its last strike, the malevolent math program Linear Sequence returns with an adventure so terrifying Nigel Weatherby couldn't even be bothered to host it. Join "the One," Dodge Neo, finally having recovered his original physical appearance, as he and his fellow freedom fighters consult with the mysterious oracle, Crystal Ball, to discover their fates before fighting for their very survival. Neo and the others have proven time and again that they can balance whatever equation the Sequence sets forth for them, but in this, the final installment of the series, Sequence Agent Smythe will surprise everyone with his evil---including the Linear Sequence itself. Who will survive?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 54 - Funny Farm
        * Products: Myface, Return of Freedom-on-a-Stick, Pretty Plumper-Upper Toilet Paper, Tic-Tics
        *
Super Hero Saga #1 - 'Reap What You Sow'
                       
[Picking up where The Adventures of Deficiency Boy left off, this new chapter in the saga of our beloved superheroes begins with Super Slow Reaction Man and Lawful Good's search for the conniving Duplicity Man and the Cloning Sphere he holds. A wave of fresh faces awaits on their journey, from that of the eager young Sally Frampton to the bloodthirsty Kalmundo to still yet the dark and mysterious Thaddius Morten. Can our heroes summon the courage to face more devious threats than ever before? Find out in this exciting new series.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 55 - Forest Fracas
        * News Briefs - Breaking News
        *
Super Hero Saga #2 - 'Luck of the Draw'
                       
[We join Super Slow Reaction Man, his new sidekick Farm Lass, and Deficiency Boy on their quest to get to the bottom of a string of brutal murders in the area. Through the course of their investigation they will encounter a new superhero, Lucky Twitch, as well as truly feel the wrath of Thaddius and Kalmundo for the first time. Farm Lass's father Dädder also returns, and in the midst of the forest, they find they are not alone...]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 56 - Fitty Six!
       
* Web Submission: Today in Sports History
        * Meaning of Life ("Symmetry")
        * CSI: Crime Scene Interlopers #1 - 'Too Dumb to Die'

                        [In the Village of Weiss, Dingorius Dongway, leader of a team of crime scene investigators, is joined by former politician Frank Marconi as they take on their first case together. Someone has been trying to kill the famous rapper, Fifty Six, and it's up to them to figure out whodunit before they really do it. But when Fifty turns up dead, the question is raised... who wouldn't benefit from her death? Follow the evidence in this new feature.]
        * Movie Mayhem: Fabulous Fall Flicks
                        [Movie Mayhem reviews the cream of the fall crop of movies... just in time for winter. But hey, for this show, just appearing twice in one season is pretty impressive, so let's give them a round of applause, shall we?]
        * Outtakes


[Season 8]

Channel 80 News - Episode 57 - Strange New World
       
* News Briefs
        *
Aliems #1 - "The Cutest of Whorg"
                       
[Finally we are treated to the first official episode of the sci-fi parody, "Aliems." On a routine mission to deliver a couple of alien ambassadors to the planet Tacomabydos, Captain Charles Chewkotay and the crew of the Conglomeration Starship 'Epitaph' find themselves in over their heads when an advanced alien species reaches out to them. What happens on Tacomabydos may change the fate of the crew forever. Find out, on the premiere of the long-awaited "Aliems."]
        * Products: Macrosoft uPod
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 58 - Interference
       
* News Briefs
        *
Aliems #2 - "In Search of Rock"
                       
[In the wake of the attack by the dreaded Whorg, the Epitaph finds itself limping along with damaged engines, and with Captain Chewkotay and Dr. Coy gone, others must step up to fill the positions of Captain and Doctor, respectively. As the crew prepares to welcome their new captain, they also find themselves on the mysterious Lushious III, tracking down an energy signature that just might help them with that engine problem... but things aren't always as they seem.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 59 - Travel Companions
       
* Gardening in the Garden
        * Car Commercial: The 2009 Enviro
        * News Briefs
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 10

                        [Starla returns to surprise the winner of the "We Film On Your Couch" contest, who, incidentally, isn't around to be surprised: luckily, their couch is vacant, and thus, we see her interview an enterprising clothing mogul and a salty seaman.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 60 - Across the Ages
       
*
Super Hero Saga #3 - 'Call of Nature'
                       
[Returning to the Falls of Power, DB and Lucky Twitch look after Farm Lass while SSRM canvasses another faraway location; all four continue their search for Duplicity Man. Meanwhile, however, after eons of being trapped in an arboreal prison, the Dark Mystic Dorgo escapes by jumping into the body of unassuming Bernard. The heroes soon meet a wandering fellow called Nomad, who seeks to put the Dark Mystic back where he came from. Layers of history about to unravel meet layers of dangerous plot thickening: What is Nomad's story? Why is Kalmundo tailing DB? What is Mo and Orby's connection to Dorgo? And what of the unseen---Super Slow Reaction Man tracks Duplicity Man, but what is the nefarious villain plotting, or Thaddius for that matter? Check out this remarkable episode for some answers!]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): Cabbits
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 61 - Heat of the Moment
       
* CSI: Crime Scene Interlopers #2 - 'Toupee the Piper'
                        [After solving a baffling drive-by muting, the Weiss crime lab finds themselves facing the mysterious case of a murdered real estate mogul, Ronald Rump. As the suspects swirl around them, Dingorius Dongway, Frank Marconi and Libby the Lab Tech will find themselves not only putting the pieces together, but avoiding the dangers of radioactive fish and even Death himself. Can they solve the crime?]
        * Web Submission: This Just In
                        [Having been elected to a second term as President, Robert E. Wee is hardly sitting around on his hands. We find out what new bill he's cooked up in this submission.]
        * 'Weirdest Link'
                        [The wacky game show returns for a fourth episode with another colorful cast of contestants, including an Emmy-winning actress, a failed dancer, a man on lady luck's bad side, and what just might be the world's worst doctor.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 62 - Double Dare
       
* Evil Weather Report - Part 1
        * "Cooking Corner: Quiche"

                        [On a pleasant summer day, Cooking Corner returns to show off its "quiche." As with most dishes this show makes, don't assume you know at all what it might taste like just because of the "quiche" label---instead, check it out... if you dare.]
        * Evil Weather Report - Part 2
        * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 11

                        [Starla unveils a brand-new couch and studio only to find that her show has been hijacked by her long-time stalker and impersonator, Staruga Stillwater. Despite this setback, Starla (and Staruga) sit down to interview an alien conspiracy theorist and a sensitivity trainer/fashionista. Will the Rear View ever be the same?]
        * Evil Weather Report - Part 3
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 63 - Unfair Play
        * Super Hero Saga #4 -
'Evolutionary'
                       
[Kalmundo finally reports back to Thaddius just in time to hear his latest plot: a nefarious scheme involving the new superhero base constructed nearby for use by Farm Lass, Deficiency Boy, Lucky Twitch, and the still-absent Super Slow Reaction Man. Our heroes, still unable to locate Duplicity Man, return to their headquarters only to find themselves in the midst of a horrible trap wrought by Thaddius himself. As Kalmundo draws Farm Lass out of the base and into battle, DB and LT face a terrible choice: whether to sacrifice the life of Farm Lass, the lives of innocent schoolchildren, or themselves. Who will survive?]
        * Meaning of Life ("Unfair Affair")
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 64 - Latent Legion
       
* Super Hero Saga #5 -
'Latent Legion'
                       
[With Thaddius gone, the heroes have a moment to breathe. However, SSRM takes the opportunity to leave the team, busy with "other projects." To fill the void, the others move to begin increasing Farm Lass's training, especially in light of her newfound abilities previously exercised on Kalmundo. But what has been brewing for quite some time---the plot of Duplicity Man and his Legion of Villains, Etc.---finally comes to light as the nefarious clone copies himself a Darkshard of the Chewagumabar originally held only by our hero, Deficiency Boy. Dorgo and Kalmundo, meanwhile, find their way to Duplicity Man's hidden lair and join the ranks of he and his parade of new-faced henchmen and associates. Things are building to a head in the season finale, and as the pieces are put into place, we ask: who is the Disintegrator? What will Duplicity Man do after his lengthy period of plotting and scheming? What secrets will Nomad reveal? And what will happen to the heroes? Find out!]
        * Outtakes


S8 Special Feature: Stroll Down Memory Avenue
       
[As Season 8 draws to a close, we offer a glimpse into some previous highlights, clip-show style. While we built off the basic models of "Memory Avenue XP" (Season 2) and "Return to Memory Avenue" (Season 4), this new clip show dispenses with a few of the old categories and shows off some awesome new ones, such as "high culture" and "low brow" as well as the time-honored favorite, memorable moments. Take a stroll, won't you?]


[Season 9]

Channel 80 News - Episode 65 - Inventive Journalism
       
* News Briefs
        * Special Presentation: Mobile Suit Glutamate

                        [A dubbed parody trailer of "Mobile Suit Gundam" by various C80 cast members.]
        * Web Submission: Low Brow
                        [Johännah Larsen presents an unscripted night at the pool hall. Oh, balls.]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "Bridgeport Village"
                        [This C80 Closeup asks the question: where do rich white people shop? What happens to such a place during a period of economic recession? And what of the seedy underbelly? All this and more are answered.]
        * "Immortals in the Corn"
                        [The Wizard runs into Death, and the two ancient acquaintances discuss retirement and more.]
        * Parody Trailer: "Twilight"
                        [Smella Duck never thought much about death... until she met Deadward Culten. Parody of the annoyingly-in-your-face Twilight saga with its own C80 twists.]
        * Meaning of Life ("Reality Estate")
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 66 - Bygone Era
       
* News Briefs
        * Useless Weather
        * Meaning of Life ("In My Red Neck of the Woods")
        * "People" with Hollywood Lamaramar - Episode 5

                        [After a sudden cancellation in Season 3, Hollywood Lamaramar returns with new guests, new topics, and... an audience? Can it be? Yes, it can. Buckle up for "People."]
        * Products: Mod Podge, Lady Dramamine Cleaning Service
        * Meaning of Life ("Cinematic Inexperience")
        * "Visually Impaired Date"

                        [Visually Impaired Date returns for a fourth outing. This time our contestant is Borda Orealis, a cheerful girl looking for love. She faces another wave of odd Bachelorishes, including a taxidermist, a school bus driver, a famous rapper, and several others that boggle the mind. Will she find love in time? (In time for what, you ask? Good question.)]
        *
Bonanza Bad-Ass and the Idol of Monkey Freakishness
                       
[Another Bonanza relative, another outing into the wild yonder. This time we meet Bonanza Bad-Ass, whose mask gives him power... until another masked assailant steals it. Who will reign supreme?]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 67 - Eyes Wide Open
       
* "Germs Band: The Man With the Golden Pussy"
                        [Eight years and numerous plastic surgeries after we left him in the midst of an incomplete adventure, the British superspy Germs Band is back and better than ever (at least, he hopes). Finally catching up to nemesis Moriarty, he ends the agency's eight-year-struggle with the Egyptian Relics of Magic and Power, and finds a new mission: someone has been blowing up American water parks under the guise of charity wildlife preserves. Join us as we go undercover into the heart of the Golden Cherry Noble Foundation and get to the bottom of the villainy, with Band... Germs Band.]
        * Special Presentation: Gundam 00-7
                        [A dubbed parody trailer of "Gundam 00" by various C80 cast members.]
        * Meaning of Life ("McMinnville Alien Days 2010")
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 68 - Remote Viewing
       
* Jean DeLite Household Haggling
                        [Jean DeLite shows off some prime real estate to a couple shopping for a home.]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "BP Oil Spill"
        * Meaning of Life ("Car Comparison")
        * Aliems Shorts ("Aliems #2.5 - Probe You Later")

                        [Another day in the life of the crew of the Starship Epitaph. After Captain Lurk accidentally launches a probe, he, Marcus, Quinn, and Tupok go to the planet's surface to retrieve it.]


Channel 80 News - Episode 69 - Summertime Split
        *
Bonanza Bad-Ass and the Challenge of Gordito
                       
[Bonanza Bad-Ass and his family of followers face off against a Spanish foe and his compatriots.]
        * Products: Qwest IDT Phone, F-Mobile Infinity
        * Round-Table Discussion

                        [A shoe cleaner, religious figurehead, reality show producer, ex-boy-band dentist, and a member of the "green" movement debate current events.]
        * Web Submission: "Fox 12 News"
        * Sports Junk Double Feature - Race of the Mud

                        [Siri Collins presents excerpts from a muddy cross country event.]
        * Sports Junk Double Feature - Non-Street Bowling
                        [Join the C80 crew out bowling, for madness and fun.]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 70 - Lord of the Things 2
        *
"Lord of the Things: The Two Towering Things"
                       
[12 and a half years after surrendering to the temptation of the "Thing," an evil fortune cookie, young Odo Bagger finds himself faced with the quest to destroy it anew. But this time, he's not alone. Join the C80 crew in one of its biggest projects yet, both a reboot and a sequel to 2003's "Lord of the Things," in this epic tale: "Lord of the Things: The Two Towering Things." Can vulnerable Odo, faithful Sham, stalwart elf Legolad, flighty ranger Amigone, and Gandalf the Off-White stand up to the two towering threats of the Mouth of Saruman and the Stomach of Gomorrha? Find out!]

S9 Special Feature - The Making of LOTT2
        [When we decided to revive and reboot the Lord of the Things franchise, we had no idea what we were in for. When an episode gets this involved, there is bound to be a surplus of bonus material, which we used to make this special behind-the-scenes feature, with bloopers and a magical glimpse at how we put together the epic film "Lord of the Things: The Two Towering Things." Take a look.]

Channel 80 News - Episode 71 - Yule Love It
       
* Happy Holidays from the Nielsen Family
                        [John, Karl, and Adam exchange gifts.]
        * Products: Compilation Album (Christmas Compilation), Lord Carlos' Organic Taqueria Resort
        * News Briefs: Breaking News in Bridgeport
        * Meaning of Life ("A(n) Historic Perspective")
        * Meaning of Life ("Holly Jolly Jitterbugging")
        * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 72 - Double Trouble
        * Super Hero Saga #6 - 'Machinations'
                       
[Since gaining his own body in Season 5, Duplicity Man has been plotting. Scheming, biding his time, gathering his forces, and working on secretive projects. Last time, he gained the Darkshard of Chewagumabar and found himself more powerful than ever---however, the power requirements to energize his ancient machine gave away his location to the heroes, who have long been hunting him. Calling a press conference under a corporate alias, Duplicity Man launches his wicked scheme worldwide, and has something far more dangerous than orbs or ancient weapons on his side: legitimacy. Who would distrust the CEO of a huge corporation? Seemingly none other than Deficiency Boy, Farm Lass, and Lucky Twitch. But, with DM having sent his assassin, Nero, to kill the traitorous "neutrals," Nomad and Kalmundo have a bone to pick as well---and Dorgo the Dark Mystic deals with his gentle "other half," Bernard. It's finally time for these forces to clash for real.]
        * Aliems Shorts ("Aliems #2.75 - War Games")
                        [In light of the Epitaph crew's prior defeat by the Whorg, the Conglomeration brass have sent a new tactical officer, Commander Circe Visitor, to take several key members of the team to training planet for war game simulations. Visitor teams up with Erin Moon and Tupok Jones, leaving Marcus, Quinn, and Deckland on a team to fend for themselves. Meanwhile, aboard the ship, Captain Lurk and Spark Oray converse on the Pretendo-Deck.]
        * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "The Neighborhood That Wasn't"
        * State of the Union Address 2011
        * Meaning of Life ("McMinnville Alien Days 2011")
        * Outtakes
 


[Season 10]

S10 Special Feature - As Seen on the Internet
        [Step right up for some of C80's best commercials from all ten seasons, now in one easy-to-consume collection!]

Channel 80 News - Episode 73 - Lost Time
        * News Headlines
        * Products: Colonel Ready-O's Cereal
        *
Aliems #3 - 'Distant Traveler' (Part 1)
                      
 [When Tupok brings back a strange disc from planet Cavulon to a briefing, there is a sudden flash and an explosion on board the Epitaph. The properties of the disc are about to change the universe forever... sending Captain Lurk, Tupok, Marcus, Quinn, Deckland and Scuttlebutt on a whirlwind adventure the likes of which they've never dealt with. But what does this have to do with a 21st century archaeologist from Earth known as Pepper Zeno? And what is the meaning of the legend of the "distant traveler?" Find out!]
        * Cooking Corner Episode Sigma: "Breakfast Special"

                        [Cooking Corner returns, and this time they've got breakfast on the mind. Keep an eye out for some magically old guest stars!]
        * Outtakes


Channel 80 News - Episode 74 - Green Dream
       
* News Briefs - Kyle Kertay and Johannah Larsen on location
                        [At a temple on a Hawaiian island, something has gone horribly wrong. Kyle Kertay reports.
          *
Aliems #4 - 'Timely Return' (Part 2)
                       
[Following their adventure on Earth, the crew of the Epitaph returns to their own time and ship... only to discover that there have been dangerous changes to the timeline as a result of the incident with the discs. Worse, Tupok is still missing... and their enemy lies in wait.]
          * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 75 - Autumn Shadows
       
* News Briefs
          * Jean DeLite Household Haggling - Episode 2

                        [Jean DeLite shows off a house to several prospective buyers... but something more than the lousy real estate market is haunting that house. Will he make the sale, or will his buyers even make it out alive?]
          *
"I Heard What You Did Last Fall"
                       
[In honor of the Halloween episode, C80 presents a horror movie. A group of strangers make their way into the woods for a camping trip... but who is trying to pick them off, one by one? Find out!]
          * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 76 - Across the Stars
          * Aliems #5 - 'Five Year Mission'
                       
[The fifth episode of Aliems treats us to a flashback extravaganza detailing how the crew of the Epitaph met and got to the positions they hold now aboard the ship, beginning six years ago to one year ago, leading up to the point we were shown in the montage of events in Episode 51 (the series debut.) Don't miss this one.]
          * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 77 - Short Attention Span
          * Products: UberCorp Bacon Festival, Spamentos
          * Meaning of Life ("Squinkiez")
          * Sports Junk
          * C80 Closeup (So Close It's Blurry): "A Bridgeport Over Troubled Waters"

                        [A return to Bridgeport Village shows us how things just might be turning around economically at last. Is this the light at the end of the recession-y tunnel? And what of the Honorary Borrower? Joseph Chapman reports.]
          * Meaning of Life ("Digital Shag and Other Textures")
          * Gardening in the Garden
          * Movie Mayhem - Winter Watchin'

                        [Movie Mayhem returns to show you the hits from the end of 2011 and those soon to be in theaters, including Derpenheart, Debitball, and Gnurlock Gnomes: Midget Detective.]
          * Useless Weather
          * Meaning of Life ("Mother of Invention")
          * Remote Submission: Diagnosis Dental
          * Meaning of Life ("Breaking and Re-entering")
          * "John's Nightmare Fuel"
          * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 78 - Mission Accepted
          * Mission: Implausible: Code 2
                       
[When a mysterious syndicate wipes out Congress, President Wee enacts "Code 2": a protocol designed to coordinate several government spy agencies to get the answers he needs. Can the combined efforts of the NSA, HBI, CIA and Homeland Security get to the bottom of it? This uniquely edited feature brings out a new generation of agents to the classic Mission Implausible series while staying true to the series' roots.]

S10 Special Feature - The Making of MI:C2
         [A behind the scenes look at the making of Mission: Implausible: Code 2.]

S10 Special Feature - Aliems: The Lost Files

Channel 80 News - Episode 79 - Penultimate
          * Ubercorp Commercial
          * Book Phone 2
          * (Mid-Day Movie)
"The Case of the Chromatic Crime"
                      
 [The most colorful investigative squad this or any world has ever seen is called when an enigmatic upper-class man's precious magazine collection is stolen and replaced with counterfeits. But is one of the investigators the culprit?]
          * Ubercorp Commercial
          * Book Phone 3
          * Meaning of Life ("A Musical Interlude")
          * "The Rear View" with Starla Simmons - Episode 12
                       
[Starla (joined once again by her stalker-impersonator, Staruga Stillwater) interviews a plumber and an auctioneer before bidding one final farewell to her Rear Viewers.]
         
* Book Phone 4
          * Badly Dubbed Foreign Film presents: "Fateful Meeting"
          * Book Phone 5
          * Outtakes

Channel 80 News - Episode 80 - Full Circle
          * News Briefs
          * News Interviews
          * Ubercorp Commercial
          * Useless Weather on Location
          * Internets by Storm: Manfred Online (MOL), John Online (JOL) and Kyle Online (KOL) United
          * Products: Rely Paper Towels, Das Komputer
          * Book Phone 6
          * Meaning of Life ("Personal Space")
          * Super Hero Saga #7 -
'End Game'
                       
[Despite Duplicity Man's capture by the heroes, Ubercorp is still brainwashing the masses. Nomad and Kalmundo approach Deficiency Boy, Lucky Twitch and Farm Lass to propose a treaty, and a dangerous gambit using Nomad's own creation, the Orb of Extraction. By putting Duplicity Man back in his own body and removing both their powers, Deficiency Boy could finally bring a lasting peace to the world---but can he go through with it, knowing the risk? And what of Dorgo, the Dark Mystic? Watch this series finale to see how fate finally brings everything to a close for the villains, the bystanders, and of course, our heroes.]
          * Remote Submission: "Ten Chimes"
                        [Death and his assistants help guide the newly-dead to the other side.]
          * Outtakes