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THE BIG BREAKFAST interview by Johnny Vaughan
Channel 4: Friday 7 January 2000
The Big Breakfast is a live weekday breakfast programme which airs from 7am to 9am on Channel 4 [C4], a UK terrestrial tv channel. The current presenters, Johnny Vaughan and Liza Tarbuck, are fast, funny & irreverant, and the BB show is sited in a real house next to a canal in East London. It's got a proper living room, hall, bedroom [where Johnny & Kate were interviewed with a bunch of supermodels on The Big Bed a few years ago], and a garden. And the garden has a shed. So, even in the depths of winter, with dawn just hovering on the horizon, certain guests are banished to the garden & interviewed in The Shed. No prizes for guessing where Johnny was.
Imagine, if you will, a typical back garden with a wooden 10' x 6' shed in it. The shed's kitted out with all the usual junk you'd normally find, plus a couple of chairs & a low table. There are loads of crew outside in the dawn light, crowding round the shed door, standing on tiptoe trying to catch a peek of The Two Johnnys.
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Johnny Vaughan interviewed Johnny Depp. Their first session began at 7.50am.
JV: Welcome back! D'you know what, you're watching The Big Breakfast, my name is Johnny and - believe it or not - there's ANOTHER Johnny in The Shed! [The crew make noises of disbelief] Yes! Yes, there is! Ladies and gentlemen: Mr Johnny Depp has joined us!! [Loud applause and roars of approval & welcome]
JV: Johnny, a pleasure to welcome you to The Shed. And how are you this morning?
JD: Errhh... Not as awake as you.
JV: No. I'm quite perky this morning.
JD: Very perky.
JV: I always raise my game for a big guest. Now, your new film is 'Sleepy Hollow'. It's out TODAY. It's your 3rd film with director Tim Burton. Kind of a Scorsese/De Niro thing going on there.. Why do you like working with him, first of all?
JD: Errmm... We laugh a lot!
JV: You laugh a lot?
JD: Yeah, yeah. We have a good time.
JV: And you trust his judgement, presumably, on everything?
JD: Yeah, yeah. Sure. Of course.
JV: I mean, has it got to the stage where if Tim Burton called you up, and you hadn't even read the script, and he said: "Johnny, you've GOT to do this. Just turn up on such-and-such a day", would you trust him enough for that?
JD: That's how 'Ed Wood' happened. Exactly that way.
JV: Exactly that way? You didn't even see the script?
JD: No. Not at all.
JV: But he's quite 'out there', he's quite ... Is he easy to communicate with?
JD: Yeah. I mean, you have to sort of 'understand the language'.. It took, maybe, three-quarters of the way through 'Edward Scissorhands' for me to get it. It's a kind of a... Tim and I stutter a lot when we work together, and there's a lot of this [gesturing manically] with Tim, y'know?
JV: But you two understand what's going on?
JD: Well, I kinda understand it now, you know. Whereas, like the technicians around are a little bit sort of ... confused, y'know?
JV: So when he's working he's: "Make it more like -- " [gesturing] "Not so much --" [more gestures]
JD: Yeah, yeah, he'll go sort of: [gesturing] this sort of thing, and I'll go: "Oh, yeah! OK, k, k!", y'know?
JV: And you understand that?
JD: Yeah. "A bit more Weeeee.. Woooooohh... Whuuuuuhhh!" [JV joins in with The Fast Show noises, & the crew start laughing]
JV: Later! OK... Tim Burton says that he likes working with you because you're willing to TRY ANYTHING.
JD: Yeah.. [pausing to consider] Try just about anything.... Yeah. Why not?
JV: No limits?
JD [not having heard]: What?
JV: No limits at all?
JD: Well... I imagine there are some limits... However, I mean: I'm sitting in the middle of a shed with you. [Laughter]
JV: And there's nothing wrong with that! Do you have a shed yourself?
JD: I don't, yet. [smiling] But I feel one coming on.
JV: Where do you go when you need to just think; be on your own?
JD: Not my shed.
JV: Not a shed. 'Cos that's what I say a shed is really for: for men to go there and just... Do you have a place like that?
JD [musing on the question]: ...No.
JV [appalled]: No?!
JD: No, not yet. [grinning] Can I borrow your shed?
JV [in a reassuring voice]: Hey, anytime! [The crew start laughing] ..Actually, No! What am I talking about?!
JD [laughing]: Sorry!
JV: Let's see a little bit of 'Sleepy Hollow'. Have a look at this.
FILM CLIP from SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod and Magistrate Philipse. "What is that THING?" "My talisman. It protects me from The Horseman..."
[Applause and loud whoops of approval from Johnny Vaughan & the crew.]
JV [once the clapping dies down]: OK.. Now the story of 'Sleepy Hollow' is very well known in America. Could you tell us a little bit about it, without ruining too much of the plot preferably?
JD: Errmm... My character, Ichabod Crane, is sent to a small town in upstate New York to investigate some sort of grisly, hideous murders that are happening there --
JV [interrupting]: One of my favourite phrases: 'Grisly killings'. "The police are investigating a series of grisly murders.."
JD: Yeah, anything grisly is great, isn't it? [grinning] Grisly shed... Grisly morning... All that stuff.
JV: Yeah!
JD: Yeah! So, he's investigating this whole thing and.. er... That's about it.
JV: That's about it? Just people getting their heads chopped off?
JD: Yeah, that sort of thing.
JV: And what did you like about it, when you first read the script? What's the first thing that occured to you about it?
JD: In America it's a story that you read when you're 5, 6 years old. Or every Halloween, y'know, the story's told, and it's.. er... Yeah, it's grisly, and it's fun! [Laughter]
JV [laughing]: It's grisly. It's grisly fun! But I guess in America you can't have many -- I mean, it's quite a young country. Compared to us. [Mugs proudly at the camera and the crew start laughing. JD mugs to camera as if to say: "I'll ignore that remark."] And, er.. I suppose there aren't that many kind of folk-lore traditions; kind of spooky old things like that; spooky old stories going round?
JD: No... 'Sleepy Hollow', I think it was published in like 1821. So it was probably the first sort of --
JV: The first ever done?
JD: -- grisly old story.
JV [laughing]: Easy with the grisly!
JD [laughing]: I can't control myself, man!
JV: OK. So, Sleepy Hollow's been called "Tim Burton's Hammer Horror film", and I gather he's a big fan of Hammer Horrors. How do you think it compares to the Hammer Horrors, and are you familiar with that British..?
JD: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a big fan of the Hammer Horrors. Love all those Christopher Lee/Peter Cushing films --
JV: There's Christopher Lee, of course, in this. Big thrill for you?
JD [smiling]: Yeah! What a presence! Such a strong presence. Amazing guy. He's also like.. [gestures to indicate an enormously tall person].
JV: Massive, isn't he? No one compares with the SIZE of Lee.
JD: Thirty feet tall! You know? He's huge.
JV: AT LEAST thirty feet tall. [Laughter]
JD [in a slow Southern drawl]: He's griiiisly...!! [Laughter]
JV: He's grisly, that's for sure.
JD: He's griiiisly!
JV: OK. [turning to camera] We're back in a couple of seconds. We're with Johnny Depp.... errr... A really ODD encounter in The Shed. [JD turns to grin at Vaughan, and the crew hoot and clap in approval]
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By the time of the next session at 8.20am, he's clearly woken up a bit, relaxed into it, and is looking around more at the crew standing at the door.
Session 2 starts with a FILM CLIP from SLEEPY HOLLOW: Ichabod with the town elders. "I will need to ask you many questions. But first let me ask: Is anyone suspected?"....
Cut back to The Shed. Applause and whoops of approval from Johnny Vaughan & the crew.
JD: I feel better.
JV: Yeah. I do.
JD: Thank you.
JV [to camera]: Johnny Depp is joining me in The Shed this morning, ladies and gentlemen!! He's Shedding It Up. [JD's attention is caught by someone standing off-camera, and he starts grinning.] Now, we just saw a clip there --
JD [laughing and pointing]: He's near tears, that guy!
JV: He's near tears. And he should be!
JD: He's sweet!
JV: That was a clip -- He's just bought A GROSS of those jackets. [Laughter] AT COST. Not retail! ...That was a clip from your new movie 'Sleepy Hollow', which is out today. It was shot almost entirely in England. Did you enjoy working over here? [Puts down his cue cards, to concentrate on JD's answer]
JD: Yeah, very much! Yeah. [Looks at JV for the next question]
JV [a bit startled when he realises JD's finished]: Good. That's a very full answer! ... I was hoping for at least a minute's worth of material there... [Loud laughter from the crew]
JD: Err... Let me... [laughing] You've got the wrong guy..!
JV [aiming his words at the BB producer]: Paul, we've got a hole in the schedule now --
JD: No... Of course I loved working over here! I was here for 6 months, so, yeah, I loved it.
JV: You've said in the past that acting is probably the worst profession you could have chosen.
JD: Did I say that?
JV: Apparently, yeah.
JD: Did you HEAR me say that? [Laughter]
JV: No, I didn't HEAR you say that, you're QUOTED as saying that.
JD: How do you know I said that?
JV: OK...
JD: No, go ahead. Keep going. You're doing good.
JV: Well, I was going to say: What would you say to your daughter if she decided to follow in your footsteps and be an actress?
JD: I would say [rapping on the table to emphasise each word]: "Don't do it".
JV: Why would you say that?
JD: Because it's the worst thing [uproarious laughter from the crew] that you can possibly do for a living.
JV: I just accused you of saying that and you denied it.
JD: I didn't say that I didn't say it, I said: 'Did you HEAR me say it?'.
JV: OK, and now I have! So I can go back to the starter question! [More laughter]
JD: Go ahead!
JV: You said - in the very recent past - that acting is probably the worst profession that she could have chosen. Why would you have said that a minute ago?
JD: Well, I mean: it's not a BAD job; I've had worse jobs, certainly. But, I mean, basically you're being paid to lie. [There are gasps of astonishment and murmurings from members of the crew, and JD looks up & smiles at them.] Calm down, calm down!
JV: Calm down. Settle down, everybody! "Paid to lie." There's nothing wrong with that! ...Lawyers?
JD [laughing]: Yeah, that's true!
JV: There could be a lot worse. No, really, why --
JD [still smiling]: So maybe that's the worst, being a lawyer.
JV: Maybe that's the worst. But is that it? Just because you're paid to lie?
JD: No, it's alright; like I said, I've had worse jobs. And it's OK, but it's not anything... It's not anything particularly amazing; it's just: You go in; you walk in front of a camera; you --
JV: Show off a bit.
JD: Yeah. You do some stupid things. Make an ass of yourself. And the guy says "Cut" and you walk away.
JV: It's easy, isn't it, really?
JD: Yeah! [Laughter]
JV: You made the papers whilst you were over here filming 'Sleepy Hollow'. I've got down here there was an alleged attack on a photographer?
JD: Yes.
JV: Do you get really CROSS about these kind of intrusions into your life?
JD: Yeah! Yeah... There was a gaggle of paparazzi outside of a restaurant and I asked them to, y'know -- Scratch my back again [matching the action to the words] -- and I asked them to leave us alone and they wouldn't, and I tried to be as gentlemanly as possible and... they didn't go for it so I... There just happened to be a piece of wood about yea big [indicating the length] and I --
JV [delighted with the expression]: "Yea big"!
JD: -- and I took it to them.
JV: Grisly!
JD [grinning]: Pretty good, isn't it?
JV: Did you feel good?
JD [not having heard]: What?
JV: Did it feel good, getting out some of that anger?
JD [smiling]: Yeah! It felt great!
JV: It felt pretty good. It's nice. Nice to have a violent release.
JD [shrugging]: Yeah. Yeah, it was nice.
JV: OK. Well, we all know that the press are well-known for getting the wrong end of the stick. So we contacted our own insider, who claims to have been close to you on the set of 'Sleepy Hollow'. And he says he knows the truth about Johnny Depp. Now, I CAN'T REVEAL OUR SOURCES. Let's just call him 'Depp Throat'. [Laughter]
JD [making a face at the pun]: Ooooohh!
JV: I'll just go and get the tape recorder.... OK. Are you ready for Rumour No. 1? Are you ready?
PLAYBACK [While the recording's playing, JD leans forward to concentrate on identifying the disguised voice]: Depp Throat here. I can't talk for long. Johnny's just in the bathroom. But listen to this! Word from the 'Sleepy Hollow' set is that A CURSE has struck the cast during filming. A curse of chronic flatulence! ...What?! He's coming back!
JV [stopping the tape]: What's that all about? This curse of chronic flatulence? Is that a true thing?
JD [pauses and then, in a soft, threatening voice]: I wanna know who that is.
JV: You want to know who that is. I can only say he's Depp Throat. I can't reveal --
JD [cutting across him, in a louder, more demanding manner]: I wanna know WHO decided to do that.
JV [wanting an answer]: WAS THERE a curse of flatulence on the --
JD [shouting at full volume]: YES!!!
[Laughter from the crew as JV and JD silently size each other up]
JV: OK.... Now we're getting some answers! [Laughter] When did it start? What do you suspect started it?
JD: Very early on. It started very early on. I think it started when Michael Gambon walked on the set. [Laughter]
JV: Say no more!
JD [putting up his hands in surrender]: That's as far as I'll go.
JV: You can't put it down to a particular meal the crew perhaps ate, or you perhaps ate? I mean, you -- I heard that you were the worst offender in this!
JD [caving in]: Gambon and I had the biggest problems on the set. [Laughter] It was Gambon and I.
JV: OK, it was you and Gambon.
JD: He started it. [Loud laughter and cheers]
JV: He started it? But there was a curse of flatulence. That's absolutely true?
JD: Yeah. [then correcting himself]: Excuse me. SIR Michael Gambon.
JV: SIR Michael Gambon. OK... Are you ready for this? [restarts tape recorder]
DEPP THROAT: OK. Johnny's taking a shower. Here's some juicy gossip. Everyone knows Johnny lives in Paris, so you'd expect to see him out on the town. Right? WRONG. Word is he spends all his time down at the local taxidermist's. WEIRD, huh?
JV [stopping the tape]: Now, what does Depp Throat mean by that?
JD [pausing, then giving in with a sigh]: I like dead bugs.
JV [incredulous]: You like DEAD BUGS??
JD: Yes I do.
JV: Explain more!
JD [as though there's nothing to explain]: I like dead bugs --
JV: Nice! But why? Do you get them stuffed?
JD: -- REALLY DEAD bugs... [then, having registered what JV asked]: No, you don't STUFF bugs! You... [smiling slowly as he realises he doesn't know the ins & outs of the process] ...do something else to them! [Laughter] BESIDES stuff them...
JV [persistent]: What? What do you do?? [Laughter]
JD: You.... [thinking rapidly] You dry them out!
JV [incredulous]: Is that what you do? YOU DRY OUT BUGS?? [Laughter]
JD: Me myself, no. But the taxidermist... The taxidermist's shed, in fact, in Paris dries out dead bugs for me.
JV: You like them?? What's your favourite bug?
JD: Cockroach.
JV: The cockroach?
JD: Yeah. HUGE cockroach.
JV: How big? What's the most awesome specimen you've got? The most grisly cockroach?
JD looks around & picks up a 6" screwdriver that's lying on the table. He holds it out to JV without speaking.
JV [appalled]: NO WAY.
JD: About YEA big.
JV [laughing and disgusted at the same time]: Yea big???!!
JD: Grisly!!
JV [laughing]: Yeah, that's a grisly cockroach!! OK, on to Rumour No. 3. [turning on the tape recorder]
DEPP THROAT: OK, I think he's asleep. Check this out. We all know the tough guy Johnny is on screen. [JD suddenly laughs and sits back, grinning. He's recognised the disguised voice on the tape.] But off-screen he ain't so tough. Just take him to the circus during a clown act. That'll separate the men from the boys!
JV [stopping the tape]: What is Depp Throat talking about?
JD: Fear... Fear... Utter fear. Clowns! Clowns scare me.
JV [amazed by the coincidence]: Have you got a...??! I'VE got a fear of clowns!
JD: Yeah, clowns scare me.
JV: Can you trace that... How far can you trace that back? Your fear of clowns?
JD: Wooah... I was very, very young. Very very young. 2, 3 maybe.
JV: Have you got a fear of carnies as well, just generally?
JD: Yeah, yeah...
JV: Clowns! Yeah, that's one of my fears too...
JD [smiling]: Tattoos... Gold teeth...
JV: No, no, that doesn't... That doesn't -- [he catches sight of JD grinning at him, showing his gold caps, and starts laughing] That doesn't scare me.... Although, I dunno! [all the crew laughing now]
JV: That's it. That's the end of the rumours. Well, there we go: weren't they excellent? [cheers and applause from the crew] That was Depp Throat. So he got it quite right then.
JD: Yeah, he did. He did... I know who it is now.
JV: Who?
JD: It's Tim.
JV [having had his source discovered]: Damn! [To camera] D'you know what, Johnny Depp will be joining us throughout the show. But for now: This is Mr Johnny Depp, ladies and gentlemen!! [Loud applause and cheering] This is The Big Breakfast. The show that even Hollywood celebrities cannot hide from!!
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The final session was at 8.34, and came under the regular weekly banner of 'Friday Obsessive', the spot where they challenge someone who claims to have a passion for something, to see if they're a true obsessive or just keen on the subject.
JV: At this point in the show we like to get a man on with a passion. A man who REALLY CARES about his given subject. And today is no exception, as we welcome another 'Friday Obsessive'!
Run LINK CLIP for 'Friday Obsessive'
JV: Today's obsessive is Mr Johnny Depp, who has an OBSESSION with British comedy. IN PARTICULAR, I'm told, The Fast Show. [turning to JD] What is it about British comedy you love so much - if indeed you do?
JD: I don't know... I just always sort of... I think I watched too much Monty Python as a child... and it's just seeped into my blood.
JV: What puzzles me is everyone in America almost seems to enjoy it and know it now better than the people in Britain. I mean, where's it...?
JD: Monty Python was VERY FAMOUS in the Seventies. It was really, really HUGE in the States. It's the only good thing the States have ever brought in.
JV: The ONLY good thing..!
JD: Yeah! Pretty much, comedy-wise.
JV: So why the obsession with The Fast Show? Is THAT available in the States?
JD: That, I think, is maybe available now in the States... But it wasn't for the last couple, few years.
JV: When did you first see The Fast Show?
JD: Over here, about 3-4 years ago. Whenever it started.
JV: And you're obsessed with it.
JD: I just think they're the greatest. I mean, I think Paul Whitehouse is A GENIUS. I think he's one of the greatest actors maybe of all time. Really. Truly. [Noises of 'Wow!' from the crew]
JV: Really?
JD: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really.
JV: We had him PLASTERING on the show a while ago.
JD [with a delighted grin]: Did ya?
JV: And he was GOOD actually! Really good! Mind you, he used to be a plasterer.. So it was a kind of 'method' he was applying [JD starts laughing], but he is good --
JD [still laughing]: He's INSANELY funny, that guy... And the other guys as well --
JV: John Thomson: a legend.
JD: John Thomson, Charlie Higson --
JV: Simon Day. I think actually he's the one I laugh at the most when I see him do his own sort of work.
JD: They're just incredible.
JV: OK....[moving into Obsessive Challenge mode] Now, Mr Depp, being obviously of American origin, it's hard to believe that you're such a fan of British comedy. It's hard to believe that.
JD: Alright...
JV [speaking slowly, as if to a quiz show contestant]: Can you PROVE your obsession NOW by supplying us with the catch-phrases of the following characters... [Holds up the Question Cards and straightens his back, ready for the contest.] The first one's for £5.
JD [smiling and making Fast Show noises]: Uhhhh... hhhhhhhhh.... Ooouuuuhhhh! [Laughter]
JV [laughing]: A: Jazz Show Host.
JD [in a treacly voice & with a cool smile]: "Niiiice."
JV: OK! Cockney Wide Boy.
JD [gesturing with his hand to show how the character ducks & dives]: "Bit whaaay, bit whooooh.." [The crew cheer appreciatively]
JV: Yeah! Ed Winchester.
JD [in a loud, confident American accent]: "Hi!"
JV: That's good enough. Arthur Atkins.
JD [stumped for a second, then remembers & puts his fist against his waist & sticks out his elbow]: "Where's me washboard?" [Loud laughter]
JV: Exactly!! How about that, ladies & gentlemen?!! [Loud applause & laughter from the crew]
JD [grinning]: Not bad, huh?
JV: It's come to our notice, Mr Depp, that in your new movie your delivery is arguably like one of The Fast Show characters. Before you respond to that charge --
JD: Let's hear it.
JV: -- a very serious charge! --
JD: Yes. Let's hear it.
JV: -- I'd like you to view the evidence on videotape. Here you go.
FILM CLIP from THE FAST SHOW, featuring Swiss Toni. [He's a smartly-dressed, silver-haired car-salesroom owner, who always speaks of women & cars as though they're interchangeable.] "These aren't cars we're selling here, they're dreams! And to know about cars, to know about dreams, you have to know about women."
FILM CLIP from SLEEPY HOLLOW [the NY scene where Ichabod's challenging the Burgomaster] "But why am I the only one who sees that, to solve crimes, to detect the guilty, we must use our brains to recognise vital clues, using up-to-date scientific techniques."
JV: Guilty as charged, surely, Johnny!! Do you admit guilt there?
JD [grinning & pointing to the monitor]: There. ...Yeah, I admit that. Yeah, yeah: TOTALLY guilty. Yeah.
JV [in tones of awe]: So, you lifted the voice from one of The Fast Show characters! --
JD: I lift everybody...
JV: That flatters every man and woman in Britain!
JD: I lift EVERYTHING. [Laughter]
JV: So, it's very like Swiss Toni we believe. Would you ever like to do some British comedy in the future, with, perhaps, Paul Whitehouse? Do something with that?
JD: I've already BEGGED Paul Whitehouse for a job. I have already.
JV: Did he say "No"?
JD [grinning]: He said No. He said: "I can't stand you. Get out of my face! No!" [Laughter]
JV: Did he?
JD: No... Almost.
JV: Did you get funny when you met him? Being sort of... You hold him in such high esteem; sometimes when you meet those kind of heroes you just don't know what to say ---
JD: I just sat there and made him do the characters for me, y'know? I'd just throw him money or something, y'know... Trying to get him to do the characters. BEGGING, really. Really!
JV [grinning]: Well, everyone else, he just tells to go away! But when you do that..! I mean, he gets every British person in every pub going: "Go on, go: 'Suits you, sir!'"
JD: I couldn't STAND it - I HAD TO, man! We were having dinner & I PLEADED for him to do Rowley Birkin. I wanted to know where Rowley Birkin came from. [Rowley Birkin QC is an aged, permanently-drunk, retired barrister who tells rambling incoherent stories]
JV: What did he say?
JD: He gave me the whole thing.... [JV waits for him to say more]. You're going to have to spend your own money on this one. You're going to have to go out there & find him and...
JV: OK. But are you going to work with The Fast Show?
JD: I hope so! I would love to. Paul called and asked once if I would do -- They were doing a live Fast Show thing and asked if I would do a bit. And I wanted to. But in fact I was working nights on 'Sleepy Hollow' so I couldn't do it. It was for some benefit, I think... It was 'Red Nose Day' maybe, or something.
JV: Could be. OK, but you have had the offer and unfortunately you were working, else you would have certainly done it?
JD: In a second! In a second! I'd quit anything; stop anything just to arrive and do it. Yeah! Love to!
JV: Johnny, I think we've established -- [turning to the crew] Do you think we've established a Friday Obsessive? [The crew shout their approval] I think you've made the grade! YOU ARE A FRIDAY OBSESSIVE!!!! [Loud cheering while JD smiles his thanks]
JV: Thank you Johnny. [Putting his hand on JD's shoulder & turning to camera] So, JOHNNY DEPP, ladies and gentlemen, in The Shed this morning!!! [Loud cheers & applause]
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