Johnny Depp, now available with extra guilt.
My only mistake is that Kate left me !

Once Johnny Depp said in an interview : 'Of all the characters I have ever played, Edward Scissorhands is the one I most relate to. Because of the feeling of wanting to touch something, but at the same time being afraid of breaking it !' This says a lot about who the handsome actor really is : not the rebel James Dean of the '90, not the crazy weirdo from his movies, but a kind guy who is afraid to hurt someone and to get hurt himself.

Dirty Indian
Johnny isn't a regular Hollywood-actor. He doesn't like glitter and glamour. He does like a beer and loud rock music. He isn't concerned much about his image. The proof : the old jeans and the bleached striped T-shirt he's wearing when we meet him. He doesn't give us a handshake. He does give us a shy smile with which he conquerors the heart of 'yours truly' immediately. When he confesses he isn't a smooth talker, that he sometimes has to think long about what he wants to answer on our questions, we are even charmed more by him.
Johnny : Sometimes I can't get my words and thoughts on one line. I find it hard to say exactly what I think. I'm afraid that is a family thing at our house. Nobody there could really talk to each other. With the consequences : my parents split up when I was just 7. I had a very strange childhood, but that's probably because I come from a strange family. My parents, my brothers and sisters : they are all so different. We are each really different people. We haven't got anything in common, except for our name. Strange you know, to belong to a family, with whom you have completely nothing to do.
That black hair, that red-brown skin and those dark eyes : Johnny has got Indian roots and it shows.
Johnny : I have got Cherokee-blood running through my veins, but I didn't start thinking about my roots until I was a teenager. When I was 7, we moved from Kentucky to the south of Florida. There is a lot of racism among the people there. When I was at high school, other kids started to give me a hard time and calling me a dirty indian. I got completely confused by that, because I always thought of myself as an American. I had actually forgot about that quarter of indian blood. But those little, narrow minded guys reminded me of it and I'm glad they did. 'Cause, when I started to get to know more about the indian culture, I realised I still had a lot of them in me. Their way of thinking and of relating things is something I have inherited.
Johnny isn't religious. He never goes to church. Not because he doesn't want to believe, but because he doesn't want to be humble.
Johnny : I want to believe that there is a God, but I don't want people to tell me how I should honour him. One of my uncles was one of those reverends you see on American television. Such a man who makes people believe he is going to heal them and save them from evil. As a child I sometimes had to go and see him, but at home they really had to force me to do that. I was so afraid of the man, of what he did to the people in his church. He yelled and screamed. And they cried and praised him. I found it sickening to see. That he had those people in his power. I have got a real dislike for tv-reverends out of it.

With or without you
In 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' he plays a strange journalist. It is one of his many weirdo-parts and of course everybody is starting to wonder if the real Johnny isn't a bit strange as well.
Johnny : (laughs) A few years ago I was still a teen idol, now I'm a freak. I don't really care in which 'box' they put me. Before I used to hate it when they 'labeled' me. I just wanted to be Johnny. Me. Now, I don't really care about it. It is wasted energy to do that.
The reason why Johnny always chooses to play those weird characters is simple : they fascinate him.
Johnny : Everything that isn't normal in a person, fascinates me. Mostly because acting strange is for those weirdos very normal. I think people like that have a more interesting life than the most of us. It is unpredictable, they don't know what's going to happen to them, where they're going to end up. Yep, it seems exciting to me. But just like anyone else, I choose for security : I want to have a permanent address, a roof above my head, enough money in the bank. I'm playing it save, because I don't have the guts to wonder around and live from day to day. Do you know what I think is really strange. Men watching sports. The cursing and yelling at the little box, that doesn't have a name. Is that normal ? In my eyes it is just as strange as someone who talks to himself all the time. (laughs) I do that myself once in a while. So yes, if you look at it like that, I am probably a weirdo.
Johnny is crazy indeed. With supermodel Kate Moss. For 3 years they had an on-off relationship. But they always seemed to end up in each others arms.
Johnny : Kate and I have something really special together. We find it difficult to live with each other, but at the same time we can't live without each other. Do you know the song from U2 'With or without you' ? Each time I hear the song, I have to think about 'us'. It is a real sad story. Ours is too. At the moment we are just friends, but when I see her, I feel a lot more than friendship. I really love her, so it's difficult to be pleased with friendship. According to my friends, I shouldn't see her at all, because otherwise I'll never forget her or I'll never meet someone else. But I can't : I can't let go of her !
So, even though Johnny and Kate attended the premiere of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' together at the Cannes Film Festival and everyone thought they were together again, that wasn't the case.
Johnny : But it looked like it, yes. That's because you can see we belong together. We like each other and love shines in us. We can't help it. But we were there as friends. Because of my stupid mistake. It's my own fault Kate left me. I can be a real pain in the butt and act really irritating. Especially when I'm working on a movie and it isn't going the way it is supposed to be. It gets on my nerves and I get annoying. At work and at home. I shouldn't have taken my worries home with me. Or at least, I shouldn't have kept going on about them. It one time it just was enough for Kate.
That particular moment was when Johnny started to talk about kids more and more.
Johnny : I don't know how that happened, but I wanted to become a father. The time was obviously right for me and I started to talk about it with Kate. I thought she would react really enthusiastic, but she didn't. Kate immediately said that children weren't an option at the moment. That came as a shock to me. I was already getting happy about it and I never considered the fact that she might not be ready for it. I thought it was time. I was wrong. The time hadn't come yet. At least not for Kate. Now I'm afraid, because she is the right woman for me but she doesn't want to have a baby with me. Will I ever find someone I like as much as Kate and who wants to give me a child ? Because I really want a son or a daughter, someone to leave my things to. Just someone to leave behind. I don't want to be remembered just because of my movies, but also because of the family that I don't have at the moment. But Kate couldn't give me what I wanted…. and the discussions and problems started to build up. So there was nothing else to do than… (quietly) yes, finish it.

I hid my pain behind my aggression
Johnny takes a sip from his water and obviously tries to hide his emotions. It suddenly appears to me how fragile he really is.
Johnny : It's a misunderstanding that I am a cool guy. I'm a little shy man who feels pain very easy. Not only physical - When I was a kid and I fell from my bike, I cried like an animal. Until mom gave me a little kiss on the leg and everything was better again. - but also psychologically. Because of one stupid remark I can get completely confused. Or if they say to me : 'Johnny you totally messed up that scene', it knocks me out !! 'Cause I want to do everything as good as possible. I want everyone to think that I'm a hard worker, that I've got talent. As soon as someone criticizes my work, I become insecure. They can tell me a 100 times that I'm a good actor, one criticism can destroy my whole self conscious. Before I reacted differently than I do now : I started to act as an animal, became aggressive… But that was just something to hide the pain that I felt. I'm embarrassed about it now. Because I knew well enough that destroying a hotel room wouldn't ease the pain. After it I always felt worse than before. I only hurt myself by doing it. Now, I try to talk to my friends when I feel down. I've said it before : I'm not really a talker, so it's hard. But I noticed that it does help.
Johnny takes a last drag from his cigarette and then he puts it out. 'That was my last one' he says. And then….
Johnny : But i've said that many times before. I can stop for one day, after that I grab for that thing again. It's my only addiction, so that's ok. One drug death in my nightclub 'The Viper Room' is more than enough. The death of River (Phoenix) really got to me. He was so young and so beautiful. It's a real shame the boy died so young ! But it was his own choice. He knew the dangers of drugs. He played with fire. Too bad.

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