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Knowing is Half the Battle
//lies.ladyjane.is.hot.d-bag.051504.dooshbag
  • written by Editor-in-Chief D-Bag
Washington was rocked this morning as photos of prisoner abuse were released to the public. As G.I. Joe begins its biggest push against the war on terror, its critics have launched a new campaign, questioning its interrogation practices. Duke, the head of G.I. Joe, announced this morning that he has been made aware of several cases of abuse towards captives from the terror organization known as Cobra. Duke called the pictures "horrendous" and promised a swift and thorough investigation of the abuse.
Duke, seen here with his Security Advisors, watches in horror the footage of prisoners being abused at the hands of his very own G.I. Joes.
WARNING: Below are the alleged photos of abuse released today by Washington. They are of graphic nature and those with weak stomachs or small children present should consider not viewing them.
  • Several Cobra Commandos are seen here in their underwear, wading through several feet of water. One can only assume this photo was taken after some sort of water torture interrogation.
  • A few Cobra Commandos are seen here again barely clothed, apparently preparing meals for their captors. Servitude while under interrogation is strictly prohibited by Geneva Conventions.
  • Secretary of Defense, Sgt. Slaughter, who has been made unavailable to the press, is seen here attacking a prisoner. There has been no word of that prisoner's current status. Sgt. Slaughter is currently under investigation and faces a possible court marshall.
  • Sgt. Slaughter is seen here again, this time assaulting one of his own men. It is widely believed that this soldier questioned Slaughter's interrogation practices and this is the response he received.
Duke has expressed his deep regret at the acts that occured but has said that his resolve will not change. In a brief press conference, Duke showed remorse but did not offer apologies. "We will continue to fight Cobra. This will change nothing. I am committed to defeating this terror now more than ever. This abuse is still nothing compared to what Cobra Commander and his forces do to millions every day. Yo Joe!"
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