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| //reviews.slayer.sucks.20piece.052604.dooshbag | |||||||||
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| Holy F’ing S. Slipknot is back. When their self-titled debut album came out, they keyed your car and smashed your mailbox. When “Iowa” came out, they gave you a blanket party and left you in Tiajuana for dead. Now, with the release of their third album, “Volume 3 (The Subliminal Versus)” they take it to a whole new level. I hate to break it to you, but to celebrate the new album, Slipknot raped and killed your whole family…and I don’t think they’re stopping there. Now while you may be sad, that means this album is incredible…so stop your crying and take one for the team.
Let me tell you this. I will not address the allegations that Slipknot has sold out with Volume 3…besides right then when I addressed it…FUCK. OK, I might as well touch on it. “Dude, there’s acoustic guitar on this album. That’s not metal.” “Dude, he SINGS that chorus. That’s not metal.” No, Dude, let me tell you something. You are not metal. You are a tool. If you want a band that puts out the same album 47 times, go listen to Slayer. Here’s a newsflash. Nobody likes Slayer. NOBODY. People say they like Slayer to be “metal.” Hatebreed also falls into this category. Sometimes, metal fans are the most annoying people on Earth…besides the Dooshbag.org staff. BUT I DIGRESS. The acoustic guitar on this album ads yet another dynamic to Slipknot that most metal bands don’t have…and it’s shows they have balls. In 1999, clean electric guitar was barely acceptable to Slipknot. This album shows maturity in both attitude and songwriting across the board…even The Clown. Yeah, The Clown is huge on this album, but you probably won’t realize it until you see them perform the new material live. One time The Clown jumped on me. It hurt. BUT I DIGRESS. There’s plenty of old school Slipknot on here to bang your head to. “The Blister Exists”, “Three Nil” and “Welcome” come strong with the classic Slipknot riffs and beats. “Circle” and “Vermillion Pt. 2” are the two acoustic tracks on there to piss people off. They’re actually good. “The Nameless” combines classic Slipknot with Cory Taylor’s often-overlooked singing ability. I urge you to run out and buy Volume 3. It’s what metal should be. I mean, C’MON…Slipknot has a clown banging on garbage cans…that’s FUCKING METAL. Slipknot – Volume 3 (The Subliminal Versus) earns 4 out of 5 scary masks. |
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