Are you confused about the terms we use in the elf hunt? Be no more! We have an exclusive dictionary,compiled by our very own Lizard, which can be consulted any time at all!
Lembas launcher: special device employed by elf hunters that launches the lembas in a projectile fashion. It’s a required article for a successful elf hunt and has been employed with especial skill by the likes of Tadandader HalfElven and El luitha uren. Most notably to be kept from the grasp of Aragorn, who is overly trigger happy.
Common sense cricket: a Jimney Cricket style creature known to lurk in the heads of all those possessing of common sense. May be recognized as the little, oft ignored voice that advises one about the wisest and most sensible choices one might make.
Elf-whacker: a long, sturdy stick employed by elf hunters against their prey. A non-lethal device, it is used to render the subject unconscious and easy to transport back to camp. Is not effective when used against orcs, as their heads are harder.
Tae Bo: The polite euphemism coined by the pervy elf fanciers to describe certain physical activities performed in the privacy of one’s tent after capturing a likely elf. Younger elf fanciers are not allowed to perform Tae Bo until they are certified, and must content themselves with brushing their captive’s pretty hair.
Marshmallow cream: Often mentioned in connection with Tae Bo, this favorite treat of elf fanciers is carried in jars and seems to hold worlds of appeal for males of all races. The actual USE of this substance during Tae Bo is as yet unrecorded in the annals of elf hunter history. However, imaginations does tend to fill in a few blanks in this matter.
Hair dryer: This appliance is another tool of the knowledgeable elf hunter. When wielded at high temperatures, it can muss and/or spoil the appearance of elven hair. The mere threat of its use is enough to send most elves running, so it is mainly used as a deterrent to would-be ELF rescue parties and other enemy elves.
Blue eye shadow: a potent weapon, this outdated cosmetic is used as a threat and/or weapon against elves in sticky situations, as none of them would ever desire to wear such an atrocious shade. However, caution should be used in its employment, as it can be used against an elf hunter as easily as an elf, sending all concerned spiraling haplessly into 80’s flashbacks.
Banana Republic: Not just an outstanding store to supply the fashionable, it is the official store of the elf hunt. The clothes at this trendy yet pricey establishment provide a suitable bait to tempt the discriminating tastes of elves, as well as a good hunting garb for the elf hunters. There is one located near Rivendell and a newly established store located in the upper class section of Mirkwood.
Chloroform bomb: A rather self-explanatory tool of the elf hunter, devised and distributed by our own dear scientist, Tinuvie. It can be used to knock out potential targets during the hunt with the unfortunate side effect of knocking out the elf hunters, as well, should they demonstrate the typical PEF lack of caution and sense.
Drool cup: a handy device employed by elf hunters and pervy fanciers all over Middle Earth. It is a plastic cup that fits over the mouth to collect drool. This prevents messy puddles from forming during the ogling of good-looking Middle Earth inhabitants.
Strawberry bubble bath: The most important bait in elf-hunting, it is the favorite scent of all elves and an irresistible lure. Keeping a supply on hand will also keep elven captives happy in between Tae Bo sessions.
Earmuffs: a vital aid in blocking the entry or re-entry of evil common sense crickets. Once a cricket has turned, it is very important to have these on hand (color-coordinated with one’s outfit, of course) to prevent a takeover of your mind by said cricket.
Walkie-talkie: Communication device necessary for the coordination and success of elf hunter missions. It is important for a would-be elf hunter to pick up one when purchasing supplies in the interest of alerting her fellow hunters to danger, traps, or just for conversation when the hunt becomes scattered.
PEF: The acronym for “pervy elf-fancier,” a name based on the writings of Cassandra Claire, author of the Very Secret Diaries. This term encompasses all those who find themselves in need of a drool cup whenever elven pictures are posted.
PMF: The acronym for “pervy man fancier,” also based on the Very Secret Diaries. This term applies to those who feel weak-kneed when looking at the manly mugs of Boromir, Aragorn, or Faramir.
PHF: Yet another acronym drawn from the Very Secret Diaries, it stands for "pervy hobbit fancier." This is the term used to describe those who find themselves pining for short, hairy-footed men with generous appetites and kind dispositions.
DWARF: The acronym for “Determined Women Against Resistance Front.” This term, coined by Tadandader, describes the elf hunters who formed up to battle the ELF movement.
ELF: The acronym for “Elf Liberation Front.” This movement was formed by the elves of Rivendell in response to the success of the elf hunters in capturing their kinsmen. They are led, for the most part, by Haldir, and attempt at various points during the story to try and take back the captive elves from the elf hunter camp.
Pixie Dust: Used as a bait, this pretty, powdery substance attracts elves the same way a mirror would. While it holds the elfs attention, the skillful elf-huntress can lasso her new captive.
Fixie Dust: This derivitive of Pixie Dust didn't have a documented use until EK decided to experiment with it. When eaten, Fixie Dust causes a person to glow yellow and float or fly. Tasting like almonds, this dust has come in handy during our adventures. It is not plentiful, but MM usually has some stashed away for contingencies. She is ever on the lookout for a better supply.
Operation ReConditon(O.R.C.) An organization linked with ELF and started by
TessJ while in a state of emotional upset. This organizations goal is to
recondition elves to hate anything associated with PEFs.
