Saturday 13th May 2006

Hello everybody! I know, before you all have a fit or heart attack, I am about 3 or 4 months early for my yearly update! (lol) I must apologise profusely for this, I appear to have more time on my hands than I usually do at this time of year. Technically I should be revising for my exams, but that can wait I'd much rather to talk to everyone out there instead! I believe my goal for the rest of this year should be: to update my rubbish website more often, that way it will probably be a lot better.
My ambitions since my last entry have not changed, I still plan to make something of myself. I am told by my teachers that I should go for Oxford or Cambridge, although I like to disagree with them. Somehow, I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of life - afterall it's not the usual university experience is it? I'd rather have the experience, than go to Oxford just because it is Oxford. Life is full of these different paths, as Blackadder would say 'The agony of choice' (I try to quote him as often as possible, I find he talks much more sense than anyone I've met, with the exception of my politics teacher Edmund). I'd love to travel first, but that means gathering the funds first... which means saving... which is unlikely to happen.

Life is confusing for a teenager. And I'm sure that those of you out there who are ones, will agree with me. Not only do we have to worry about our studies, but there is a constant fuss over girlfriends or boyfriends (or both, depending on your tastes). Sometimes I just worry because I haven't got a girlfriend or a boyfriend! And it seems ridiculous, because I have the rest of my life ahead of me and yet... it feels like I have a palm-full of sand and it's slipping through my fingers before I can stop it. Life is far too short and I am realising this very quickly. It's like my maths teacher wrote in my leaving book: To know how short a life is, you have to have lived a very long time . At first I didn't get it (mainly because his handwriting is near impossible to read) but I understand now. A long time to us is really nothing at all.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I sit at home and I wonder whether really I am thinking too short term - much like Tony Blair is in fact, if you care to look at his recent cabinet reshuffle - when really I should be thinking long term. After all, the job I currently hold (and dislike intensely, as it happens) does it really matter? I don't want to be a shop-assistant for the rest of my life - I have higher aspirations! Much like, for instance, David Miliband. He certainly doesn't want to be Environment Secretary for the rest of his working career, does he? (And if he did, he wouldn't be able to) No, it is clear that he will probably one day become the leader of the Labour party. I'm not saying I want to be a leader of a political party (although, now I think of it, it would be quite nice) what I am saying is that I have to think one step ahead, or two, if I can manage it.
Perhaps the really important point here is this, and, I am risking sounding cliche here, that is that perhaps us teenagers, everyone for that matter, shouldn't worry about everything. (If you claim that you don't, I won't believe you, being a teen MAKES you paranoid) Worry about somethings of course, but not things that are out of your control. For instance, there is no point in me worrying about bird flu coming to Britain, because there is nothing I can do about it. Until something catastrophic happens, I believe I shall live everyday to the full - like it's my last.

Until next time (most likely 2010, let's face it.)
Helen xx

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