Not a Hundred Percent

At first, all I could remember was the R.

A big, red R on the floor. Coming close to my face, and then away again, zooming in and zooming out, getting redder and redder until I could not see it through the black.

Ever since that, nothing’s been the same. People talk to me, but they don’t acknowledge me. They do not look at me. They stare at something behind me or at my forehead.

I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know why they feel the need to ignore me indirectly. It is almost unbearable.

After the red and the black, I wake up. No more do I have my uniform on.

I’m in the hospital bed, where they should be able to tell me why I’m here.

All he, the Doctor, does is stare at my hairline, smile, and tell me everything is fine. That I look good. That everything is good. Really.

I try to talk, but all I can do is drool. He cringes, but keeps his fake smile.

Fake. Smile.

The one thing everybody wears whenever they see me now. And this is days before our big mission. How am I supposed to help them now?

I know I am sick. But from what?

**********

It was a couple of days ago, I think, when it happened.

This plan was years in the making, requiring the strictest of care. It was a plan to bring down the big man, Robotnik. Finally, after all of these years, we would finally get our chance to take him down. The first real attack.

Project Downfall, we called it.

Days in advance, a reconnaissance team was sent in to check up on how things were going, to see if Robotnik had any idea what we were doing. For spare parts, as well. But

…………………………..

______________________________________________________________________________________

Something..

h----------a

p------------p

e-----------n

ned. And I’m

n-----------o-c

t-----------s---o

u-----------r----n

e-----------?-----fused

Ouch. It hurts to try to remember.

Project Downfall… I wonder…

**********

I look at the calendar on the wall. After all these days in the hospital, I just barely notice the date. In large red slashes, marking the day.

It’s the seventh. Wednesday. Project Downfall was supposed to happen three days ago! And from the looks of it… it must have worked out.

Yes.

Yes! We succeeded! We won!

I’m happy, so utterly happy I can’t contain myself anymore and I grin…

Or, at least, I try to. It feels like my face is frowning.

I bring my hand up to my face to touch it, to see if I’m all right, but I’m disheartened to see that thick bandages cover my hands completely.

I look around the hospital. I have been in here many times before, either when I was injured or when I was visiting a fellow fighter. I’ve been in here so many times that I stopped noticing what was around me.

But I know… something’s wrong…

Very, very wrong.

All the mirrors are taken down.

**********

The Doctor’s fake smile laughs at me from behind the head-board where his head is at.

“Go outside? You kidding?”

“Well, why not?” I say to him… but it’s a short time before he answers.

“… You’re sick.”

“I know I am sick. That’s why I am in here. I want out.” I point to the window.

The fake smile just shakes its head.

“Why not? What exactly is wrong with me? What happened that was so bad out there? Am I contaminated or something?”

And suddenly, the fake smile turns into concern. I can see what the doctor is trying to hide.

He’s nervous.

“Fine,” he says, with some sense of defeat.

**********

The sun hurts.

I step onto the wooden porch of the hospital and look out amongst the crowd of my “friends.” Along the ground there are different colored papers strewn about the ground. It looks like the aftermath of a celebration. There is still the rotten-egg smell of sulfur from the fireworks in the air.

Looking around, I notice that there aren’t as many people as I remembered. Some must not have made it. Even though that is expected, I still feel like… crying.

Some people were gone, I knew. Some people I would never see again… my right hand suddenly starts hurting.

Both of my hands are bare now, the bandages taken off. They don’t seem injured or anything underneath. They seemed to be there for no good reason. Strange.

I clutch my right hand and walk down the steps. Men and women, people I know or knew, walk by, at first not noticing me in my crippled state, first out of the hospital and utterly confused.

Suddenly, I see a blue form walk close by.

Sonic.

I stop him with my good hand, touching his shoulder. Or at least, I try to stop him. It’s like he doesn’t even notice that I’m here…
Uh oh. Something is… wrong.

I’m not what you would call a liked person around here. In fact, in some circles, I am downright loathed. Especially by that rude blue fiend, Sonic. He would have said something to me if I touched him like that.

So why didn’t he?
I start searching over the crowd for someone, anyone, to tell me what happened.

Tails.

“Tails! How is everything?”

He stops where he’s going and brushes the hair out of his eyes with his free hand, the other clutching planks of wood.

“You’re kidding, right?”

I shake my head.

“Man, we’re still getting ready. We have to do preparations for Project Downfall…”

. . . . . . . . . . . What?

“… the shields don’t want to work and Sally wants to find spare parts. They’re going to choose some people to go…”

“On a mission into Robotropolis,” I finish for him. I can’t believe this. It’s… mortifying. “This isn’t funny,” I say, but at the same time I start feeling queasy, and my right hand starts hurting again.

“What isn’t?” he asks, cocking his head to one side. “The meeting will take place in a short time. You better be there this time, Ant, this one is important.”

Oh no.

He’s not joking. Either that or the small boy is an excellent actor.

“What… what is the date today,” I ask, looking wildly around me.

“Saturday.”

“The what?”

“The second. Jeez, what’s wrong with you?”

“I was… in the hospital…”

“Look, I don’t have time for games, Ant, I have to get these to Sally.” And he walks off.

What the… ?

**********

Things

d------o

n------‘

t make a

s------e---n

n-------s-----y

e---------!-----logic.

It may have been the isolation that messed me up, but what in the hell?! I had the exact same conversation with Tails like a week ago, on the day he claimed that this was.

All I can do is stand here, dumbfounded.

He must be joking.

Must be.

I look back at the hospital, and it’s dark inside the windows. I can’t see the Doctor moving around inside.

I look around for people I know, for some face to recognize and ask what day it is, but sadly, I know nobody. I don’t exactly have a lot of friends.

Sonic and Tails, best buddies.

And suddenly, I feel a lot better.

Tails is becoming more and more like Sonic everyday. It shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s acting like him. Spoiled youth.

I feel better already. We must have succeeded, and no casualties either. Promising. Someone deserves to be congratulated.

Sally. The Princess. I haven’t seen her in days. I’m surprised I haven’t thought about her sooner.

I smile, and go to find her.

**********

I knock on the entrance to her hut. Soft surface of the wood makes a pounding noise back at me.

“Princess?” I call out.

No answer. Not really much of a surprise. Usually she’s busy or…

Wait.

This is the end! Robotnik is destroyed, gone forever! She shouldn’t be doing anything! She shouldn’t ignore me or lead me around on a chain like she always does! She should talk to me, be nice to me, love me! But she never does. HOW DARE SHE! Bitch! …

Ow.

I clutch my right hand and cringe. Light tears come. The glare from the sun reflects onto the windows and hurts my eyes.

The R… the giant R…

I knock on the Princess’s door again.

No answer.

I think about entering…

No! That is crazy. That is invasion of privacy, not to mention sneaky and…

I jiggle the handle. It is unlocked.

I can’t see my reflection in the metal handle.

I look around, hoping no one is watching me. Everyone was milling about, carrying whatever. This is the one time that I want nobody to care about what I’m doing.

And the door creaks open as I walk in.

**********

NICOLE, the personal computer, is still here. The princess carries it everywhere with her. This is not right.

How did she even get that thing?

The room, dark in itself from lack of sunlight, smells old and musty, like someone has not been it for a while. The bed is made. There is an empty container in the corner.

THE ROOM IS EMPTY! LEAVE!

But no. I don’t.

I stand there for a long time, not moving, not doing anything, just wishing that the Princess, the object of my vain affection, was there to ask me what I was doing there.

I wonder…

If she was here, I’d tell her how I felt. Honest.

“I love you, Princess.”

She deserves someone better than that blue creep anyway.

I smile, and reach for NICOLE, laying silent on her nightstand.

**********

Iloveyou

I-----------l

o----------v

e---------- y

o----------u

I love you s

I-----------l--o

o----------v---m

e----------y------ u

o----------u-------ch………………….

Stupid R. It is confusing things again. I cannot go ten minutes with thinking of a zooming R. Forward, back, forward, back. Getting redder and redder each time.

It’s… all mixed up.

Standing back in the middle of the moving crowd, I’m still wondering what the hell Tails was trying to pull with me with that whole “Today is yesterday” nonsense. Sounds like something Sonic would do.

And people outside are still walking around. Nobody seems to notice me in broad daylight coming out of Sally’s hut.

Strange. Indeed. In the center I stand, watching everyone walk by, obviously working on something important, because they never stop. I am the only one standing still.

There goes Rotor.

There goes Sonic again, looking worried.

Tails… gone.

Bunnie_____________ not______________________ here

………………………………...................

______________________In__________________________________________________________________hut__

In her hut.

Look in her hut.

Something about Bunnie… I know something… she knows something…

Right?

I start walking. The people become a blur against the green background of the forest. My palms are sweaty and my right hand hurts again.

Her hut, the darkened structure along the path of least resistance, is way in the back, at the edge of the village. She must enjoy privacy.

Clutching my hand, I smile. I’m happy again.

Along the path.

Up the steps.

To the door where I cannot see myself in the reflection of the glass pattern on the door.

I knock lightly.

And someone tackles me from behind.

**********

“No.”

“Get off of me!”

“You don’t want to bother her right now.”

I stop struggling under Sonic’s weight. But I still give him my best contempt filled stare into his eyes.

“Why?” I say, defeated. He was always stronger than me. He pins my hands to my chest. My back flattened on her wooden porch.

“She’s… not well.”

My eye catches the hospital in the background. I grin back up at the blue freak.

“I am not either!” I yell. “Does not make any difference to me!”

He cocks his head in confusion.

“What?”

Damn. My accent.

I speak slower. He still strains to listen. My arms are starting to lose circulation. It’s a bad feeling when people don’t understand you.

“Oh. Yeah… you’re… sick. Right.”

Huh?

“I don’t have time for this,“ he says, getting off of me. “Go in there if you want. Don’t blame me if she kills you.” And with that, he runs off.

I’m on the wooden steps for a while before I finally get up. I push open the door.

**********

Darkness. No light. The drapes are drawn. There is the slight smell of blood in the air. I have to strain my eyes to see. The hurting glare of the sun still affects me.

I can __________________________________________________ see her, sitting with her back against the wall. She is____________ crying. She has a butcher knife in her hand. All over her are blood stained bandages. Her metal arm is rusted and brown.

The R.

“Bunnie,” I say. Her head snaps up and she runs for me, knife raised, across the room.

I yelp in surprise. She has such a murderous look in her eyes. She’s growling. She hops over rubble in her hut and is suddenly right in front of me.

I feel the freezing blade pressed against my throat. Bunnie’s face inches from mine. She’s breathing heavily, panting. All over her body are small abrasions and cuts. Her eyes look weak and angry.

I’m scared out of my mind, but all I can do is say her name.

“Bunnie… Bunnie…”

My hands slowly move up to her waist. I make contact. She is cold from loss of blood.

As if my hands are going to do any good, but I start pushing her gently away from me. Bunnie keeps her eyes locked with mine, the blade at my throat, when she starts crying.

My god. The knife is warmer than she is.

What happened . . . . . . . . . . ?

. . . . . . . . . . .

It was an assignment. Me and her. We were both supposed to

do----------------------------------------------a job

in------------------------------------------------the city

but-----------------------------------------------it went

bad. ---------------------------------------------We were

capt----------------------------------------------tured by the Doc

NO!

Imagine my surprise when she starts to kiss my chest, while still holding the knife against my throat. Tears down her face. Her metal hand holding the knife, her real hand, covered in bandages, at the small of my back.

“Uhhh… Bunnie?”

She growls at me, stopping, and she presses the knife harder. I squeal in pain. I feel blood start to come out. I dare not move, but I feel her resume her lips’ path along my chest.

The small drops of blood drip down my shoulders and down my arms. It makes me remember………….

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

She-----------------------------------------------got

caught-----------------------------------------------and

I gave---------------------------------------------------her up.

It was------------------------------------------------------my fault

but----------------------------------------------------------- not before

NO!

She starts whispering my name over and over again. She runs her tongue along my stomach lower and lower. She’s so cold, so cold, like her knife.

I’m gasping uncomfortably. I do anything to keep my mind off of what she is doing. I look at her room, how ransacked it looks, I watch at her eyes, how empty they are, I stare at her wounds…

Self inflicted.

Bunnie wanted to do this to herself.

But… why?

It-----------------------------------------------was

a------------------------------------------------trap.

The---------------------------------------------machine

told---------------------------------------------our

position----------------------------------------and we

were caught.----------------------------------Sally came

…

I don’t want to remember. Something bad happened… something I am responsible for. I’m a coward, and everyone here knows it, too. That’s why they hate me.

Bunnie is suddenly back face to face with me. Her mouth is stained with the blood that she cleaned off of me.

I have no friends. I have… nobody.

Bunnie presses her mouth hard on mine. She lowers the knife from my throat to just below my stomach.

I am alone.

Her body feels so soft against mine. Even with her metal legs and her arm and the knife touching me, it feels very inviting for me to use her like a pillow. I always thought that she had the softest looking fur…

and-----------------------------------------------she

wanted-------------------------------------------to help.

Robotnik------------------------------------------got her

and did--------------------------------------------something

Bunnie suddenly wraps her arms around me and picks me up. She slams me on the floor.

The wind is knocked out of me but I don’t make any noise. She’ll kill me for sure.

She puts the knife in her teeth and gives me a grin.

I don’t know why… but I like that grin…

Her legs on either side of me are rough with rust, and they creak.

She doesn’t need to go far to find me. After all, I didn’t have my uniform on…

SHIT!!!!!! I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING ACCENT ANYMORE!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------She’s

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------gone

I let her die.

…

“Strip!”

Robotnik wiped the blood from his face………………….

-----------------------------------------------------------------.

---------------------------------------------------------------.

-------------------------------------------------------------Bunnie is on top of me, riding me up and down, knife between her teeth. I still don’t move.

I just feel goo

-------------.

---------------.

-----------------. I suddenly had no clothes on. He scares me. That face of his. IT’S EVIL!!! He threw my uniform, the only thing I had left, into the incinerator. It was burned to cinders, gone. I felt like shit all of a sudden. I shouldn’t have shit .

-------------------------------.

-----------------------------.

---------------------------Her screams were getting louder and louder.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------After Sally was led away, Bunnie was set up to a machine where the light left her eyes and I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!!! OH FUCK ME, FUCK ME!!!!! She’s telling me, and all I can do is sit there, not moving, because I’m afraid to die. Worse than being forgotten, is the big unknown after I leave here.

I hit him in the face and now I pay. “Now you pay,” he said. And he grabbed my head and she pushes it between her breasts. I get a mouthful of Bunnie’s fur. She tastes good, kind of like the blood I suddenly tasted in my mouth when Robotnik slammed my head over and over again into his steel floor, with his logo written in red. Bunnie is moaning in pleasure, the knife in her teeth not doing any good at all in stifling her cries from the machine that was placed in her brain, doing whatever to her. Her voice is the only thing I hear other than my own head being slammed against the floor. My own blood blinds me. Her fur is in my mouth, HOLY FUCK!!!!! I CAN’T SEE!! I CAN’T SEE SHIT, JUST MY BLOOD AND ROBOTNIK’S LOGO, WHICH IS A GIANT R WITHIN A CIRCLE!!!!

MY FACE MY FUCKING FACE!!!!

Suddenly Bunnie pushes me down on my back, takes the knife out of her teeth and she stabs into her stomach, still moaning in pleasure on top of me. She goes in so deep her hands are buried.

“No…” I say, tears coming out of my eyes. Blood flows into my mouth. Hers.

THE GIANT R!!! MY GOD!!!! MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

Finally, I move.

Too late.

I get up and Bunnie is crying again, on her back this time, me still inside her, the knife still inside, her, her hand still on the knife handle, my hands at the back of her neck.

The only thing I can think to say is, “What happened?”

She looks at me for the first time, seemingly like she’s actually noticing my presence.

“I… don’t… know.”

Dead.

I withdraw.

I look at my bloodied hands.

I leave.

**********

I run outside, sun blazing, me covered with blood, back into the crowd. Nobody cares much, they’re all still going about their daily business. “WAKE UP!” I want to yell, snap them out of it. But no, they’d all probably blame me for what happened.

But… it was my fault…

Back in the city, however long ago it was, the Doctor caught us. Me and Bunnie, caught first, and then Sally, off doing some other mission, was called in because I gave away that she was here with us. Her computer was taken, she was thrown somewhere, and Bunnie and I were rendered unconscious.

Not before the shit was knocked out of me and my uniform torched.

… Shit. And now Bunnie is dead. And there’s something wrong about me.

I’m sick.

I have to get this blood off of me…

I run to the ring pool, just outside of the village, to get rid of her all over me. It’s already beginning to stick.

The ring pool is closer than the river, but it also brings back some bad memories. I’ve fallen asleep there many times, and every time they would all hate me for it.

At the edge of the pool, I stare at the still water. A ring came up recently. It was obvious. There was gold residue everywhere.

I bend down over the water. I cup some in my hands.

I see myself

I THINK!! I think that’s me, but I can’t tell!

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME??!!!!!! HOW DID I GET SO DEFORMED??!!!!!

Then it hits me. HITS ME!!!

My face hit the giant R again.

I don’t have an accent anymore… because I can’t talk.

I DON’T HAVE A FACE!!!! At the hospital… it was him! It was the Doctor! My face…

My open mouth drools into my palms.

And I look up to see Rotor across the pool… giving me a strange look.

R