But it’s not
It’s inside and it’s growing.
It’s gone and it’s back.
It has no face and everybody loves it.
It betrays and yet it’s the same person.
Are you growing, my friend? Why are you still here?
Do you complete me? Or do I really need you at all?
Is there a point?
Is there a point to anything?
Or do I just want it gone…
It’s inside.
And it’s growing.
“I’m having memory problems. Again.”
“They all are. Even I am.”
“I know, but they definitely aren’t noticing them. They can’t help me.”
“Don’t you keep diaries? Journals?”
“I don’t remember where I put them. I have to clean out my shed.”
“Perfect. Just fucking perfect.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not stupid. I’ve been writing notes.”
“You tell anyone?”
“Yeah, actually. Everyone. And they don’t remember afterwards. I must have done this fifteen or twenty times and they never remember.”
“I fucking told you! Don’t you listen?! You didn’t have to test it.”
“Look, if you’re just as crazy as everyone else, then I have to assume that I’m on my own with this.”
“Yeah, right. I’m trying to help you, Rotor.”
“I know.”
“Don’t bail out on me now. I need you too.”
“I know. I won’t.”
“I still think that he’s behind all of this. He has to be.”
“But he’s dead, Bunnie. We killed him.”
“Death is never absolute.”
“Please, don’t start that again.”
“We can’t be sure that he’s dead. Besides, even if he is, he still could have engineered a virus, or-or spiked our water supply or SOMETHING!”
“Please calm down. You’re upsetting me.”
“I… I thought that when he died, everything would be okay.”
“Maybe everything really is. Maybe we just can’t see it.”
“And the memory problems?”
“Maybe we’re the only ones who have them. You and I could be the only ones.”
“We should stick together on this one. We shouldn’t leave each other alone.”
“I won’t, okay? Now stop this. Let’s get back on track. The last thing I remember is Sonic announcing that Robotnik was dead, about a week ago. That seems pretty good, considering I don’t know what happened this morning.”
“Strange. You can remember that, and that you have a memory problem, but nothing else?”
“Some things… not much.”
“Okay. Then I can still remember better than all of you can. For instance, did you know that I killed myself yesterday?”
“… What?”
“I didn’t tell you because I… I didn’t know if it would work. But, I… I stuck my head under the tub water and I drowned myself.”
“Fuck…”
“Sounds nuts, doesn’t it?”
“Been getting a lot of this lately.”
“And I’m alive today. I don’t remember how I woke up but it was most likely from the tub. Everything from two hours ago draws up a complete blank. Now, why is that?”
“You were onto something, weren’t you?”
“But I forgot… I must have forgotten what it was.”
“You should have told me. I would have written it down.”
“Maybe I did.”
“But you don’t remember where the notes are.”
“It’s fine, really. I can do it again tonight.”
“… I’m against it.”
“I figured. I’m doing it with or without you.”
“Fine. If it’ll figure this all out, I’ll help.”
“All for the cause, right Rotor? Tell me, what have you noticed?”
“Well, my notes repeat over and over again that all we do is work, work, work. There’s only one break in the hustle and bustle at lunch, and hardly anyone speaks to each other. Uh… everyone gets about four hours of sleep. Work lasts from sunrise to well into the night.”
“Do they mind that you watch them?”
“They don’t even notice me. And whenever I try to make conversation with them they push me aside.”
“Wow.”
“I mean, they know who I am and all, but any friendship I once had with them seems to have completely vanished.”
“Forgotten…”
“Forgotten. Along with everything else.”
“What on Mobius are they working on?”
“They’re building something.”
“A weapon?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember. All I do know is that Sally’s hut has something to do with it.”
“Sally… how is she holding up?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think I saw her today.”
“Is there anybody like us who doesn’t work?”
“Hmm. I’m not sure. I’ll be sure to look next time.”
“Write it down.”
“Okay.”
**********
Rotor leaves once more and I’m left by myself again, left alone in the ruins of my hut. Of course, it’s not really my hut anymore. It really isn’t Knothole anymore, either.
Okay. I’m not telling him everything. I don’t know if I can trust him fully yet. He seems like the guy I used to know, but then again, given the nature of what I know, I have to be extremely careful in who I choose as friends.
So-called “Project Downfall.” The so-called end of tyranny. The final fight/confrontation/battle/war. So they say. So they tell me. So what I’m supposed to believe. I can’t really remember all too clearly, but after they brought me home from Robotropolis, after the so-called deed was done, I had tried to kill myself with a knife. I had stabbed a good four inches into my stomach and left a nice, sexy hole.
Funny thing is that I don’t remember doing this, though I can’t remember anything for very long. Memory is subjective, since my life up until so-called “Project Downfall” can be viewed with perfect clarity.
And then it all rolls out of focus, and my memory quality becomes similar to Rotor’s. I look at it like a photograph. Some parts of this picture I can still see for a long time, look at all the details and be confident in their accuracy, but most others… most others fade away.
But I’m stupid. That doesn’t mean that I’m not broken and I can’t function. What I boil it down to are the facts, and only the facts, or as close to the suspected truth as I can get. Most of these, I write down and hide somewhere in my hut. So I assume, anyway. I’ve found a lot in the drawer, so I guess I can hide the rest there as well. Then, all that is left for me to do is to hope for the best. With luck, I can break through this.
These memory lapses, they come in random waves, with no pattern whatsoever. Some unimportant bullshit I am allowed to remember, allowed by whom I do not know, but his selection is probably most efficient. However, some memories and information that I would think would be dangerous to his plan are left alone and allowed to pass. Like the fact that I can remember that something is wrong. Since everyone else seems to be lost in their own oblivion, that either I am immune to the effects in some limited way, or that it is intentional and pivotal to his plan. In what way, I don’t know, but I have to be extremely cautious in my decisions.
There is also the possibility that this is all in my head. But… I’m going to assume for now that it isn’t. In fact, I pray that I really am wrong, that there is no threat to the world anymore. If it’s true then… no, no, NO! Being right is worse then being wrong, so I have to prepare for it. I have to go on…
I fear that, whatever is happening to me, it’s speeding up. Robotnik’s plan is gearing up for the final phase. I have to be ready for anything. I have to play my cards just right, and maybe, keeping this journal is one step closer to victory.
So…
What to do? What to do next?
I can fight extreme with extreme. Keep up with the enemy. Don’t lay down and die. Keep resisting until I am unable to any longer. Sacrifice.
… Whatever happens to me is meaningless to the future, as long as it only happens to me. If I can help everyone else, if I can minimalize the damage… then the ends justifies the means. If I can save everyone then it’s a victory.
What I did was last night was the best way to go. If I gather as much data as possible in the shortest amount of time, then I can finally figure out what’s going on. With me, with Rotor, with all of us.
But, that means I won’t get a lot of room for error. If I fuck up too badly, it’s all over. Then there is no hope for the future of Mobius.
The citizens of Knothole are the last on the planet.
We are the last ones alive… but Rotor doesn’t need to know that. No one does. They can all survive without knowledge for now…
Rotor…
He was sent to try and help me recover. So they tell me. I’m sure what they really mean is “Work with us. There’s work to be done, Bunnie. We have to get moving, Bunnie. Get off your lazy ass, Bunnie.” So on and so forth. And Rotor, being the intellectual that he is, is perfect for this so-called task. If that third option is true then he is to help me realize it.
Not that it helps me any. No progress is being made on my “recovery.” All I can think about is how this ties in to the master plot, if Rotor is in on the master plan or if he really is genuinely effected as well as the rest of us are. It seems awfully convenient that the smartest one is to help me, if I’m such a threat to the plan. Once again, I have to play my hand carefully. Nothing else can matter.
Okay. A fourth option. Maybe I’m the one that Robotnik has as an unwilling spy, and part of the operation is that I think that everyone else is out to get me. Maybe what we’re building is the last hope for the planet and maybe I’m the key to our destruction. The lone saboteur.
Planned paranoia. Misplaced loyalties.
Still, I have to keep going. There are so many ins and outs, and I don’t see enough of the big picture yet.
It would be so much simpler if this were all a dream… a horrible… horrible… dream .
I have to find out if I’m right.
And if I am… well…
Then we’ll see.
We’ll see…
**********
“Here, have a look at it.”
“Hmmm… What is this?”
“It’s a list of people I think could be pivotal to Robotnik’s plan, if there is one.”
“Not more of this.”
“Just shut up and take a look at it. Make a note that these are the ones to look after the most. When you watch all of them, spend the most time observing these important few.”
“Why?”
“I think… I don’t know, maybe he needs all of the main people to achieve his goal. Or maybe it’s for revenge.”
“But it’s a hunch?”
“A strong hunch. Just… can you do it for me?”
“… Alright.”
“Good. I think we’re getting somewhere with this. We’re getting closer. I can feel it.”
“Why is Antoine on here?
“What, you think he’s incapable of betrayal? Or you think he’ll be a pushover?”
“… Don’t you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“He… he’s in the hospital.”
“… WHAT?!”
“Yeah, he-”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM?!”
“Okay, calm down. Please. Calm down…”
“… Okay. Alright.”
“He’s in the hospital. He’s been in a coma all week, ever since Project Downfall ended.”
“Fuck.”
“His face, it’s all messed up. He’s not even Antoine anymore.”
“This is exactly like it!”
“How could you not remember? You were with him when it happened.”
“But… I thought that was just a dream…”
“A dream?”
“Yeah. Huh. Odd.”
“How long have you had this dream?”
“… They’ve only been happening recently. They feel like I’ve had them forever, but… they started about four days ago.”
“This is the first time you’ve thought about them?”
“Yeah. I forgot about them…”
“Four days… Thursday.”
“… No.”
“Yes, it would be Thursday.”
“… What is today?”
“Tuesday.”
“How can Thursday be four days ago?”
“Hmm… curious. I could have sworn yesterday was Sunday… How does that make any sense? Do you think that maybe we have the dates mixed up too, along with the memory?”
“Oh my God. This is worse than I thought.”
“Why?”
“Can’t you fucking see that something is wrong?! Are you so dense?!”
“Take it easy!”
“How can I?! This goes deeper than I could have possibly fucking imagined!”
“It’s just the dates. Maybe our brains in general are so messed up that our sense of time is jumbled as well. It’s no big deal.”
“He’s taking away our structured way of living, Rotor. Step by step, he’s making us weaker.”
“If that’s the case, then he’s already won.”
“You have to try to remember this. Please! A lot depends on us working together.”
“I’ll try.”
“By the way, did you do what I asked you to do?”
“… I don’t remember.”
“Do you remember what it was?”
“Yeah, I do. Do you want me to do it again?”
“Can you risk it?”
“There’s not too big of a danger. If I did set the program in motion then there will be evidence of my work and it will stop me from doing it again. Otherwise, I can set it in motion anyway, as planned.”
“Beautiful.”
“Okay. I’ll go do that and observe the others today. Have a good lunch. I’ll be back tonight to tuck you in.”
“Goodbye.”
**********
In retrospect, I guess Rotor’s little missions have little to do with the all important final plan. Maybe I’m just making him feel pivotal, nothing more, but I guess that every little bit helps. Because most of my windows are boarded up, I can’t see all too well outside, and since my hut is now on the outskirts, I can’t see what Rotor sees happening in the main village square, near Sally’s hut. Once in a long while, maybe the sounds of someone chopping wood will reach my ears, but other than that, not even birds chirp in the silence. The hours of the day drag along so slowly, and at times it seems that it isn’t even worth it to get up. The light would pour through the windows with indifference, not enough light to look for the notes in my drawer. Once again, something just doesn’t fit about this “help me get better” bullshit. All they have done is sequestered me in this hut, told me to stay here.
Like I have the plague or something. Quarantine is the only cure. Out of sight and out of mind. Only Rotor has to worry about me now. A cursory glance to the tree-line can easily be avoided. I’m all but forgotten…
It’s only a matter of time before I’m gone forever from the minds of everyone else. Rotor will join everyone in Robotnik’s plan, mindless drones in a hive. Robotosized already. Building, building, always building. And because I’m caught halfway in between, like fucking always, I’ll get the short ends of both sticks. Aware enough but not quite. And then, I’ll die.
… Again.
I should carry out my plan with or without Rotor’s help. He doesn’t know what this could mean if I really am right. If I’m wrong and crazy, then good for us all, but… I’m going in circles here. I should stop this. A giant, dangerous loop. Calm down. Calm down. Okay. I’m definitely doing it again tonight. That’s final. And I’m making a note of it. Something I can find easily. Yes.
I’m so tired. I just want to sleep. Rest, shut my eyes and drift. When I wake up this will all be a dream. Goodbye forever, and the next morning I’ll be wondering what the hell all of this meant.
Yes. Joking with the others. Everything back to normal. Still fighting Robotnik, but at least we’re not insane. At least there aren’t any complications. We’re good. He’s evil. Simple as that.
Simple as that.
Fuck this. I’m tired. I’m sleeping.
… Better make a note of it…
… . .. ..
**********
Youre running down a dark no wait you’re FUCKING CAPTURED! Shit run away away far away can’t can’t shit shit no never mind okay think think wheres Antoine oh wait he’s still doing his part did he finish? Are we compromised? Whatever better go through with it in case okay left right up down set bomb code 742740000000000 ALARMS! FUCK! Run run Antoine didn’t do it what happened? He was supposed to do ONE THING! With one thing we screw up months of planning project downfall is now in danger of never happening we can’t say shit if we’re caught okay keep running keep running keep running… You’re safe.
**********
I’ve had this dream before, haven’t I?
How long have I slept? It was night last time I remember… Is it the afternoon or early morning? Why don’t I have a timepiece in my hut anymore? Must remember to ask Rotor the time when he gets back.
So what does it mean? Did something happen to Sally and Antoine during the pre-mission to Project Downfall? If so, what?
… God.
Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this. I dream when I sleep, and I run in circles when I’m awake. There’s nothing new to do. I can’t escape this hut or I’ll be lynched. This is such a shit situation, and nothing I can think of will get me out of it.
I may as well give up.
“… Bunnie?”
**********
Rotor came into the hut carefully, searching the room for her frail form.
“Come on in, Rote. Didn’t even hear you.”
The lumbering, shadowed form closed the door behind him, his lab dirty lab coat trailing behind him. After pulling loose some stray pieces, he came over to Bunnie’s voice, and sat down next to her on the couch-thing.
“Did… did I used to have an accent?”
“… I’m not sure. Did you?”
“I think so.”
“Could have been a dream, maybe?”
“Maybe. I did have a dream just now.”
“You slept?”
“All night.”
“All night?”
“Yeah…” When Bunnie turned around to look out the window, she found the sky dark. She found the air quiet. She found it different than she remembered.
“What… ?”
“Did you take a nap or something?”
“I… I thought it was daytime…”
“… No… Night.”
“Huh.”
“Came to tuck you in.”
“Oh.”
“Tell me,” Rotor gently eased Bunnie onto her back. He started to pull the knit quilt covers over her as he spoke. “Do you think this whole Robotnik thing has to do with something called Project Downfall?”
Gasp.
Flash.
A flurry of images assaulted Bunnie, thousands of gripping emotions fighting for dominance, all having to do with dates, numbers, hours, missions, people, faces, happy, sad, death, life, and by the time it was all over she saw Rotor once again, leaning over her and staring into her eyes.
Something didn’t feel right…
“I don’t… remember.”
“Hmmm. Neither do I.”
“We can talk about it tomorrow, maybe?” She could feel a strong sense of paranoia nagging at her, pulling, trying to tell her something. Intuition itching.
“Sure. Maybe we can think better then.”
“Just what I was thinking.”
“… Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight then, Bunnie. Try to feel better.” Rotor moved quickly, stepping over the fallen debris, and he shut the door behind him, leaving Bunnie alone once more.
**********
No…
No…
Could it be?
No, can’t be.
Could it?
Could Rote be in on it? Could he be the one controlling it all?
No, he’s been helping me up to this point. Nothing but helpful, yes, yes, good old Rotor, always reliable.
He’d be the first to go.
SHUT UP!
You’re right. He would be.
Prime target after the leaders. He’s smart and willing and capable. He can build shit. He built things for me, hell, he built parts of me, too. My legs.
My legs…
If he can do that, what if he did something with my head? What if he made me insane and all paranoid? Maybe I’m somehow important to the survival of Knothole and he’s keeping me out of commission so he can further his own…
No, no, no, that’s crazy. He would never do that.
I wish Antoine were here…
I wish he wasn’t…
OH!
SHIT!
He’s… there!
Yes, I see now! It’s so fucking simple!
. . . . . . . . . . Where the hell are my notes?!!!!
Oh well, fuck em, I don’t need them.
I can just… do it… without them…
Here… I… come…
**********
Bunnie wrapped the quilt around the wooden beam as tightly as she could, standing on the edge of the table. When she finished she tied it around her neck and stepped off, headed towards an uncertain impact.
It wasn’t long before she died.
**********
“Morning, Rote.”
“Man, you don’t look so good, Bunnie. Worse than normal.”
“I know. Rough night’s sleep.”
“Should I get the Doc?”
“… No.”
“You sure?”
“Come on in, sheesh, I’m not going to bite. God. I’m not totally crazy…”
“Hmmm… So… any breakthroughs?”
“Not really. I’m still having trouble finding my notes. You want breakfast?”
“Oh. No thanks.”
“More for me, then. Say, did you happen to find any of yours?”
“My notes? No, just what I had on me. And this.”
“Oh… What is it, a code?”
“Looks like it. Nothing I recognize, though. I can look around.”
“I’m glad you have your notepad this time. You didn’t last night.”
“… You remember last night?”
“Yeah. Don’t you?”
“No.”
“… Huh, maybe I don’t either…”
“You think it’s getting worse?”
“Eh, it doesn’t matter. We need to work faster anyway. Find anything else out about the machine everyone’s building?”
“Oh, yeah. It turns out that it runs on power rings.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, and they’re using the ring generator as a booster. It‘s located in the exact center of the spherical core. Also, the surface is coated in the same material as the power rings. Amazing work, really. I’m surprised we could even build something like this with what we have.”
“Does Sonic have anything to do with it?”
“I don’t know. He’s one of the many people I couldn’t find to ask. He’s nowhere to be found.”
“Does anyone know where he is?”
“They’ve said they’ve seen him running around, but he always leaves like, right afterwards. They say he’s looking for Sally.”
“She’s gone too?”
“Either that or she’s not answering whoever knocks on her door. I’d bet on the first.”
“Who else?”
“Let’s see… Tails, Dulcy, Sally, Sonic, and… NICOLE.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah, well, maybe they’re all in the woods, hiding from us all. Maybe they’re unaffected.”
“Or maybe they’re dead…”
“… Maybe.”
“Antoine is still here?”
“… In a manner of speaking. I saw him today, actually.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. He was screaming down by the river. Very odd.”
“He’s not working?”
“No, he’s in the hospital. You and him are about the same in condition.”
“… Rotor… what’s wrong with us?”
“… We don’t know. Something is wrong with your higher brain functions. And your injuries won’t heal.”
She looked down at her arms, her hands, and her stomach. Giant white patches of gauze covered her, and they were stained bright red like stars on a black sky. She had never noticed them before. “Robotnik did this?”
Rotor stared at her, speechless. He pointed to her stomach. “He did that. The rest…”
Bunnie took in this new information, thinking about what Rotor could mean by what he said, and then she slowly started pulling down her band aides, the smooth fabric brushing sensitive skin. Immediately, about one inch down her wrist, she saw the angry red mark of a fresh cut. It looked about the size of a kitchen knife.
“This is why you’re quarantined.”
**********
This… this can’t be.
“Rotor, why the fuck would I do something like this?”
It’s too late to ask him. He left about ten minutes ago, angry and confused, just like all of us. It’s getting harder and harder to keep it together. Each hour that passes I become more and more alone.
So what I have I learned today? Not much of shit. Can’t remember shit so I can’t learn. How can I fight Robotnik, let alone convince anyone I know if I have no facts? Rotor should be helping me on this. He should be trying to remember. Doesn’t he have a note pad? He didn’t have it with him this time. He should carry it with him all the time, at all times. He should always be taking notes. He can remember if he forces himself to. And what do I do?
What do I do to remember?
Do I have a note pad?
… I don’t remember.
FUCK!
It’s gotta be around here somewhere. I’m smarter than this. Of course I’d keep notes. A diary or something a little booklet. I can write, can’t I? Fucking shit, man, I’m so stupid. Let’s see, let’s see, where is it? Where is it?! DAMMIT! It’s here! It has to be! AHHHHHH!!!!
… My place is such a mess. Look how much I’ve torn it up, probably looking for the notes every time. I still haven’t find them or I would have left a note. So ironic that I would hide them this well. Rotor is the only one who comes to see me, so who could I be keeping them from? Maybe… Rotor…
Yes. Of course! Rotor! He’s doing this to me! He probably put the notion in my head that Robotnik is making everyone work and is using me to get to Sally, or Sonic! Yeah! Must be, gotta be. He has the means and the contact to do it, but why doesn’t he do it himself? Maybe he has another agenda and killing Sally or Sonic would be blowing it. He needs me for something. Yes. Yes. He’s making me believe that I’m insane and that Robotnik is dead and we’re all okay, for some higher purpose that I don’t understand, only… only I’m too strong. I found out his plan and wrote it down to myself to remember it! Yes! I have it! It makes perfect…
Oh God.
What if this isn’t Knothole at all? What if I’m in Robotropolis, and, and, they’re trying to find out Knothole’s location?
Holy shit.
… Outside… everything looks fine. Forests. Trees. Air. Sun. Blue sky. That can’t be it. I’m home. This is my hut. I know my own hut, even if it’s trashed. There’s a different sort of foul play here, but I can’t get rid of all of my theories.
Ow. This is too much. I have to lie down. Have to relax.
**********
Bunnie hobbled her way into her bathroom, pushing nick-nack and piece of furniture aside. Her arms suddenly started to hurt once again, and her stomach burned inside, the uncomfortable caress of a stab wound. She fought to keep herself moving, cursing, and she used her strong arms to move the mattress frame out of the way. Slowly, strange thoughts started to come to her as she approached the closed bathroom door, like how out of everything that was strange and familiar, one thing seemed out of place…
When her hand touched the doorknob, a cold mental shiver ran from the base of her brain and all the way across it. Something felt different than what it normally would have felt like, a certain unusual sensation. Not metal on flesh but the exact opposite. Is that right?
Vaguely, she felt the knob turn. She saw the wooden door open into more space, and a weird smell hit her. The bathroom had been used recently. Hours before, maybe a day. Moisture was in the air, and the faucet was still dripping into the metal tub. The light source above her was busted.
There was no need to undress, so she slid right into the tub, shivering at the temperature of the water. Drips from the faucet landed on her face with a surprising impact, enough to make her jump each time. Bunnie didn’t want to fumble for the handle to try and slow the flow, so she closed her eyes and tried to make the world disappear.
**********
It was the dream that started it, and it also happened to be the only place where she could remember everything.
Your typical dream. Some artsy backdrops, intangible settings, faceless enemies morphing into recognizable beings, such and such, so on and so forth. The dream had strong roots in Bunnie’s memories, and it wasn’t that she had dreamed this nightmare before, but that she had lived it.
It happened some time ago, longer than she or anyone else could fathom. It felt like a week at most but it wasn’t. It was actually closer to months or years. A lot of things were different. A lot of people were supposed to be dead. Some memories were fake and some were real, and as a result, she looked different in certain parts. This could only mean one thing…
He was still alive. Robotnik was still alive. Project Downfall had failed.
More than the dream, it was the cold water that shocked her back to demented reality. Bunnie ignored the throbbing wounds in her stomach and crawled out of her bathroom, the cold water dripping off and causing her to slip.
For the better part of an hour, she searched. She overturned her furniture again and again, trying to find her notes. She knew where she had hidden them, but they may have been moved.
Finally, she found them. But…
They were blank pieces of paper, yellowed and brown and torn. They were ready for more entries to be scrawled upon them, just in case there were new developments. There was, however, one page of written material, scrawled in a rushed and frantic fashion.
**********
Don’t be frightened.
Don’t be frightened.
It’s not as bad as you think it is. It’s just you. Well, us. Me.
A year ago you tried to execute Project Downfall by yourself, and you failed miserably. Robotnik was still alive and was wary now of the real attempt that was to happen the next day. To punish you, he tried to fully Robotosize you. He said he hated unfinished business.
At the final moment, just as the switch was pulled, Antoine came to your rescue. He managed to stop about 90 percent of the process before the damage was too great. He likes you, and is probably in love with you, but you’re not sure if the feeling is the same. The point is, he sacrificed himself to save you, and now we’re all in the same boat.
Robotnik showed little mercy. He messed him up. Badly. He’s barely recognizable as the Antoine you used to know. And he’ll probably never heal.
Remember, this was over a year ago. You’ve been ill since then, gradually getting better but not by much. There’s so many conflicting thought and images in your head that anything could set off a psychotic episode. You’re unstable, you’re insane, and you’re suicidal. I’m taking a risk in showing you this, but you have to learn sooner or later. The more times you see the note and live, the better off you are.
Don’t listen to Rotor. He thinks lying to you is for the best, but I’m not so sure. He’s just trying to keep you occupied, give you something to worry about other than yourself. It’s the thought that counts, I guess, but it’s misleading. Here is the truth.
Knothole is fine. Nothing is wrong.
Don’t be frightened.
Don’t be afraid.
Get better.
Every time you find this note, mark the bottom of it, and hide it again. It always works.
See you soon, hopefully,
Bunnie Rabbot
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“So, you marked it and hid it?”
“Yeah. I did.”
“You sure this wasn’t a dream?”
“Rotor, please, just stop with the charade. I’m tired of it.”
“But-”
“It’s okay. It’s alright. You can stop worrying about me. I don’t need something to think about anymore. I… I feel good. I feel better than good. I found what I was looking for. Just some closure, that’s all. Nothing felt right with the bullshit you were always feeding me. I know you thought it was for the best, but it was counterproductive. The truth would have done me fine. And now that I know it, I feel… different. Better. Excellent. I can do anything now. Soon I’ll be able to go outside with everyone else, see how the town is doing, see my friends…”
“Uh… yeah…”
“How are they all doing, by the way?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t see all of them.”
“Hmm. Oh well. Tell them I said hi.”
“You… want me to go?”
“Yeah, need my sleep, hon. Sorry. Come by tomorrow.”
“Okay, sure, I guess.”
**********
Rotor left Bunnie’s hut. His notepad wasn’t on him.
**********
So I guess it’s all okay now.
Everything’s going to be fine from now on…
Just fine…
**********
Bunnie’s corpse was draped in the center of the burning Knothole village, near the fire. Her eyes were still open, and fresh footprints went from her body and led into the woods.
Off in the distance, something wailed and wailed, closely resembling either a cry of despair or an approaching siren.
It’s not over yet.