Vincent Valentine:
My brother's dick is this big.
Sean Catlett:
Shh. What was that one about?
Vincent Valentine:
Remake and parody of the Bible. Lots of people started bitching about it, so I guess I liked it.
Sean Catlett:
Ahhh. Was it a Sonic fic?
Vincent Valentine:
Nah.
Sean Catlett:
Pfft. Fuck taht shit. Sonic is life.
Vincent Valentine:
Sonic isn't life, Sonic CREATES life. Sonic is the light, go-to-the-light.
Sean Catlett:
Ew. Sexy.
Vincent Valentine:
Waaaait, I thought I was gay....? Or maybe I'm just confused.
Sean Catlett:
Me too, it passes.
Vincent Valentine:
Good to know.
Sean Catlett:
With drugs!
Vincent Valentine:
YES!
Sean Catlett:
And sex with women. But really that's a serving suggestion.
Vincent Valentine:
Sex is the best thing in life.
Sean Catlett:
RUB IT IN, THEN!!!
Vincent Valentine:
*weeps* I give you 200 :-P for that one.
Sean Catlett:
Was the SatAM Theme Remake based on anything?
Vincent Valentine:
Uhh, no?
....Drugs?
Sean Catlett:
Thought so. It's the Citizen Kane of SatAM Theme Remakes. Were you free-basing?
Vincent Valentine:
Kinda. I was a bit stoned when I wrote it.
Sean Catlett:
Like Jesus?
Vincent Valentine:
Same with most of my shitty things.
Sean Catlett:
Sinister Rouge!!!
Vincent Valentine:
Bad Religion=PWNINATION
Sean Catlett:
Do you have the American Jesus?
Vincent Valentine:
Hanging on my fireplace. Along with the devil's balls.
Sean Catlett:
Let's segue into a Meteor Herb question.
Vincent Valentine:
Mmkay.
Sean Catlett:
... You wrote Meteor Herb?
Vincent Valentine:
Uhh, kinda. I think the crack started talking.
Sean Catlett:
So you didn't write it?
Vincent Valentine:
No, my dead grandma did.
Sean Catlett:
... Ohhh, this is code talk.
Vincent Valentine:
See, we share this special bond, and everytime I light up my pipe, I can see her, and then she tells me to to things, like "burn down that orphanage."
Sean Catlett:
You're on substances.
Vincent Valentine:
Sleeping pills. Stilnoct is your god. I can't write today. I forgot my brain at school.
Sean Catlett:
Where it should stay.
Vincent Valentine:
Hell no. It might just learn something there, and we can't allow that to happen.
Sean Catlett:
Remember the MacGyver theme?
Vincent Valentine:
......Yes honey?
Sean Catlett:
Fuck you! You don't!
Vincent Valentine:
:-P Did it have vocals?
Sean Catlett:
Nope!
Vincent Valentine:
And there you have it.
Sean Catlett:
There it is.
When Gumby walks through walls, does it creep you out?
Vincent Valentine:
People that walk through walls don't freak me out, only little children does that.
Sean Catlett:
But Gumby isn't a person. He'sssss evilllllllll.
Vincent Valentine:
Like Doctor Evil?
Sean Catlett:
No! What? No! What?! What the-? NO!
Vincent Valentine:
:-P
Sean Catlett:
What made you want to write serious stuff? Steve?
Vincent Valentine:
Now THAT is a good question.
Sean Catlett:
Was it Zacharus?
Vincent Valentine:
I think it was when I first looked upon one of the 'serious' stories on that site, and my eyes started bleeding. People suck, but someone's gotta show them how it's done. Did I mention that I'm an idiot?
Sean Catlett:
I don't remember. Is it safe to assume so?
Vincent Valentine:
Depends on the situation.
Sean Catlett:
Yeah? How safe?
Vincent Valentine:
Safe as my safe that I keep safe at my safe home.
Sean Catlett:
I loved her last album.
Vincent Valentine:
Who?
Sean Catlett:
Hey, remember when I said "Hey stoobing," that was the first time I messaged you today, right?
Vincent Valentine:
Shit yeah, first time I ever meet you as well, oh yeah! I would never, ever lie about something, and never about something as dumb as that, because that would only result in me and you looking dumb, and that would just be dumb, right?
Sean Catlett:
Agweed. Ha! Weed!
Vincent Valentine:
WEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Weed is good, but crack is better.
Sean Catlett:
Speaking of underwater skiing, you wrote Change, right?
Vincent Valentine:
That I did. Only thing I've written that I don't hate.
Sean Catlett:
But before that, there was Fly with Me, right?
Vincent Valentine:
Correcty.
Sean Catlett:
And then there was Harelquin, but before that, there was Pending, which was two after Fly with Me. Change was before Pending. And your first story was Wild Canyon Remake.
Vincent Valentine:
Uhhh, I'm gonna say yes, but I have no idea what you just said. "WOW! It is amazing how fucking insane I really am!"
Sean Catlett:
When I wake up in the mornin
and the alarm greets out a warning
I don't think I'll ever make it on time. By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look
I'm at the corner just in time to see the BUS FLY BY!
It's allll right, cuz I'm Saved by the Bell!
Vincent Valentine:
Hah!
How about Donnie Darko?
Sean Catlett:
Best adaptation of Watership Down I've ever seen.
Vincent Valentine:
Watership Down?
Sean Catlett:
Could have started the furry movement. It really took off after The Secret of NIMH and Robin Hood.
Vincent Valentine:
Secret of NIMH was godly. People that make porn out of that one deserve to be hanged.
Sean Catlett:
Oh yes.
Well I seem to be out of questions.
Vincent Valentine:
That can't be good. Uhmmm.
Sean Catlett:
So I guess this means the interview is over!
Vincent Valentine:
Yay!
Sean Catlett:
Wait, no it's not.
Vincent Valentine:
:-P
Sean Catlett:
Hey, should I blame you for hating my new work, or me for making it so shitty?
Vincent Valentine:
Both? Sounds good enough.
Sean Catlett:
We agree to disagree!
Vincent Valentine:
No idea what happened to you. I mean, about a year ago, everything you wrote was worth gold. Now it's just bad. Like really, really bad.
Sean Catlett:
On a long enough timeline, we all turn into Chuck Palahniuk's career.
Vincent Valentine:
Not always.
Sean Catlett:
Yeah, well that's my excuse, fuck off.
Vincent Valentine:
Bah. :-P
Sean Catlett:
What's your favorite movie?
Vincent Valentine:
Terminator 2.
Sean Catlett:
Band?
Vincent Valentine:
Hammerfall. Or maybe Metallica.
Sean Catlett:
Magazine?
Vincent Valentine:
Don't read things anymore.
Sean Catlett:
Book?
Vincent Valentine:
Death Gate Cycle.
Sean Catlett:
Serving Suggestion?
Vincent Valentine:
Fried cock on the rocks?
Sean Catlett:
Whiskey is for pussies?
Vincent Valentine:
Real men drink water, and get stoned when no one's watching.
Sean Catlett:
Spit or swallow?
Vincent Valentine:
Spit-swallow?
Sean Catlett:
Sky or grass?
Vincent Valentine:
Blue is the color of Tails' eyes, and Tails is a fag, which makes blue a faggy color, so I have to go with grass.
Sean Catlett:
Swedish?
Vincent Valentine:
That's right.
Sean Catlett:
Going to war?
Vincent Valentine:
Sadly, yes.
Sean Catlett:
Death comes soon?
Vincent Valentine:
Yesssssssssss.
Sean Catlett:
Interview over!
Continue to Part Three
