Night One: Tonight I met up with the four hobbits in the Prancing Pony. One thing Gandalf forgot to mention. They're stupid. One yelled out "BAGGINS!" and the other made a scene by vanishing! Man I can't believe he bribed me a hundred dollars to do this—I mean I can't believe they are so dumb. Yeah...that's it. *cough* Well, I also taught the four halflings about the Nazgul. And I guess they're culture is not easily embarassed because they spent the night in my room. What's their problem?
Day One: Today, the hobbits and I left Bree. One of the younger ones didn't trust me. What's not to trust? A big, rugged, manly, secretive, strong, armed, powerful, knowledgeable, man they barely know anything about. Well, later on I discovered more of hobbit culture. THEY'RE PIGS! Did you know they eat seven meals a day!
Day Six: Today we rested at Weathertop. I left the hobbits with four swords and went to go see if there was some place near-by where I could take a bath. My hair was starting to get oily. No luck. I heard an awfully girlish scream. I thinking it was Frodo ran to go see what was the matter. Turns out it was some Nazgul. I single-handedly got rid of them all. I however found Frodo lying on the ground. He was stabbed. I picked him up and ran into a forest. I sent Sam looking for a weed and yet I was the one who found it. Suddenly I felt cold metal on my throat. I turned to see it was my girlfriend Arwen. I now know you never say your going to telepathy call a girl unless you mean to. Well, after I apologized multiple times in Elvish she took Frodo to Rivendell.
Day Seven: I collected my bribe money from Gandalf and bought Arwen a pretty "Immortal" necklace. Hopefully that'll make up for me forgetting to telepathy call her.
Night Eight: Tonight I visited Arwen on the bridge. She gave me her necklace. I don't mean to criticize but it simply doesn't match my outfit. What is up with that though? I GAVE IT TO HER! However I did get a kiss. *Smiles*
Day Nine : Today I attended the council of Elrond. After a long conversation on the very obvious fact of ‘the ring MUST be destroyed' I joined the fellowship. This is ONLY because I found out that Gandalf was the one who told Arwen to give the necklace BACK to me. I also met an elf, Legolas I think his name is. He seems so obsessed with himself. I wonder if I could sell the necklace to him....
Day Eleven: Today we passed over some plain. I do not see why I had to be the last one to cross over it! What a horrible week it has been! I decided to start smoking today. I feel I need to, seeing how now I have to be a prissy and wear a GIRL'S necklace! I mean not even the girly elf wears a necklace! Well, while I was sulking some spies of Dunland came to spy on us, obviously! And we hid. Gandalf decided to take us on the pass of Terepass aka the Cahandra mountains.
Day thirteen: I like think this necklace is really having like some girly effect on me! I mean I am a guy, but I was like having SERIOUS mood swings. Well like Boromir was like looking at the ring and I like said ‘Give the Ring to Frodo.' and he was like, ‘I care not.' and I was like about to like hurt him. Well, what I mean is I like had my hand on like my sword hilt and I like think I need to stop this like diary entry because I like am using the word like too like much!
Day Fourteen: Whew! I am so glad I am getting my manlyness back. That last entry was weird! Well, today we turned back because there was a blizzard. So now we are on our way to Moria.
Day Eighteen: Today we fled from Moria. I have been unable to write because Moria is so freakin dark! Well, like I was saying. We fled Moria. We all fought gobblins and a cave troll. Now the worst part of this is that I had just gotten Gandalf cornered and he was without his staff. I was so going to pound on him for getting me stuck with this stupid necklace when a balrog approaches. Well, He knowing he was in for it any ways jumped off the bridge! Now I'll never be able to make him pay! Well, all the other guys were crying. Boo hoo. We lost our con artist. I elected myself to be the new leader and decided to take the guys to Lorien. I am now REALLY in need of a bath! My hair is beyond greasy!!!
Day Twenty: Today we reached Lorien. Galadriel freaked out all the guys by telepathy talking to them. I tried to give her my necklace but she refused. She said she already owned one of the three Elf Rings and then she gave me a pin. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? All the women are donating girly stuff to me!!
Day Twenty-six: Today we departed in boats. I really wanted to share a boat with Legolas so I could give him my necklace. However since we had the stupid hobbits and Dwarf with us they can't paddle boats. So I settled for Sam and Frodo. Hey maybe I can give one of them my pin.
Day Twenty eight: We arrived at the waterfall today. I am sad to say that I am not very good at persuading. I tried to convince Frodo and Sam to take my Pin but instead they RAN AWAY! Well, Boromir was killed and Merry and Pippin abducted by Orcs. I decided that there was no point in chasing Frodo and Sam since I had already frightened them away with my pin proposition, that we might as well chase after Merry and Pippin. And to make this deal even sweeter Legolas was going. The perfect chance to pawn the necklace off on him....
Day Thirty-one: Still following the trail of Orcs. Man they are fast! I mean I was on the track team in Rivendell but dang! Well, anyways we found the brooch of one of the hobbits. We continued and soon met up with The Riders of Rohan. I spoke with Eomer. After our nice little chat we went to go see the chared remains of the Orcs we have been chasing for three days. Amazingly my tracking skills came in use and we discovered the hobbits escaped and entered Fangorn Forest.
Day Thirty-two: Today we met up with Gandalf the White. I'm not mad at him anymore. A because he isn't a con man any more and B because I think I have almost pawned it off on Legolas. Well, the hobbits are safe. They're with an ent. We all rode to Rohan.
Day Thirty-four: Today we arrived at Rohan. Turns out Gandalf left his con man ways to heal cursed people. Well, he cured Theoden, the king. Yeah, well his niece Eowyn smiled at me. I smiled back. This is great! Now if Legolas turns down the necklace I can offer it to her!
Day Thirty-eight: Today we left Rohan to flee to Helm's Deep. I really think Eowyn is interested in the necklace. She asked about who gave it to me today. I am so happy! Finally I will get rid of it! Well, I did just not exactly how I had pictured it. A band of Gobblins on Wargs attacked us. Eowyn led the people to Helm's Deep while the men fought. I chose a really bad time to practice for gymnastics. I kindda tumbled over the cliff. And well the gobblin got the necklace. Hey at least its not mine anymore. *SPLASH!*
Day ??????: Today I woke out of the most wonderful dream I have EVER had. Man I miss Arwen. Only one embarassing thing though....uh I dreamed she was kissing me and when I woke up there was my horses lips! Ugh! I kindda have NO idea what day it is. I am now traveling across the plains.
Another mystery day: Today I saw at least 10,000 strong orcs coming towards Helm Deep. Well, I went to warn them. I arrived and Legolas gave me my necklace. I was horrified. Turns out he didn't want it. And Eowyn turns out to like me! Darn. This sucks. Well, we are now preparing for war so goodbye.
Day Forty-three: Today me and Legolas got in a girly fight. And like girls do we made up in ten minutes. I really think the necklace is having another girly effect on me like it did on day thirteen. Whoa! That brings back bad memories. Well, anyways some Elves showed up to help us. The war started and sadly, Haldir died. :'( No! I Can't be having another girly moment. Okay I g2g.