STARRING: Natalie Portman [Anne Boleyn], Scarlett Johansson [Mary Boleyn], Eric Bana [Henry Tudor], Jim Sturgess [George Boleyn], Mark Rylance [Sir Thomas Boleyn], Kristin Scott Thomas [Lady Elizabeth Boleyn], Ana Torrent [Katherine of Aragon]

I saw this at a matinee showing. Historical dramas normally aren't my cup of tea, but I like Natalie Portman, and the soap opera that was the life of Henry VIII tickles my voyeuristic fancy. Based on prior reviews I wasn't expecting to be super impressed, and sure enough, I wasn't.

What I was, was alternately creeped out, dismayed and finally, just kinda bored. I got the distinct feeling that the source material, Phillipa Gregory's novel of the same name, was probably a lot more salacious and interesting than this essentially big-screen, BBC docu-drama made it seem. In fact, The Other Boleyn Girl was made into a BBC docu-drama back in 2003. And I bet that version at least had real British actors playing the parts.

Instead, Natalie Portman played Anne, and once again proved both her good acting chops and her inability to fake a British accent. Scarlett Johansson was largely wasted as her sister Mary, who spent most of the film being a quiet victim of circumstances while Anne cattily orchestrated her own meteoric rise and equally meteoric--and, the way it plays out in this film, I would say fitting--end at the executioner's block. Eric Bana phones it in as an Australian Henry VIII, whose abhorrent, abusive, womanizing tendencies left me wondering how either of the Boleyn girls could possibly find him appealing. (Beyond the strange allure of his big puffy sleeves and feathered hats, that is.)

Knowing the facts of the situation as well as I do, I wish that the film's fiction had been a little more historical, or at least had borrowed more detail from Gregory's book. The "morality tale" underpinnings of Anne's career were mildly interesting, but the story struggled to find a clear focus beyond the general "good sister," "bad sister" dynamic it tried to strike. For a people-driven drama, it left too many loose ends (like what happened to Mary's husband?), and none of the characters were very well developed or likeable enough, with the possible exception of Katherine of Aragon (whose life would, in my opinion, make a far better film than that of the Boleyns).

In the end I found myself paying more attention to the fashions of the Boleyn girls than to their personal issues. The costumes are absolutely gorgeous, and provide some much-needed color and variety to this otherwise drab and uninteresting movie.