HITCH (2005)
Directed by Andy Tennant
Hitch is one of those sweet, funny romantic comedies that just begs for girls to drag their boyfriends to on a Friday night. And because it has Wil Smith (Independence Day; Men in Black; Ali; I, Robot) in it, the boyfriend will probably go without too much eye rolling and heavy sighing. Add unlikely co-stars TV funnyman Kevin James ("The King of Queens") and Latina hottie Eva Mendes (Once Upon a Time in Mexico), and Hitch is at least guaranteed to be somewhat interesting to watch, even if the story isn't at all original or clever (it isn't).
"See, Kevin? This is the kind of toilet I was thinking about getting for my new mansion."
"Wow, sweet. You movie stars really do live it up!"
Basically, Will Smith is Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, a professional "Date Doctor" to desperate, lovelorn men. He's smooth, hip and always cool under pressure, helping the dweebs and geeks of New York City (it's always New York City) get their love lives in shape. He knows exactly what women want, except [gasp!] when it comes to his own love life, and tabloid columnist Sara (Mendes). Wooing her is made all the harder by the fact that [gasp!] she's career-driven, oft-disappointed-in-love and afraid to let her guard down. Tangling the situation further is clumsy nerd Albert Brennaman (James), who needs the Date Doctor's help to win the girl of his dreams. So boy meets girl, girl misunderstands boy, boy has to win girl over all over again, and there's a happily ever after for everyone involved. Oh, I hope I didn't ruin the ending for anybody.
But even though Hitch does nothing new with its tired formula, it's still a fun movie, anyway. Most of the credit for this goes to the cast, particularly Smith and James, who make a pretty funny comedy team (of clever schemer and clumsy oaf--I'll let you pick who plays which) and do a fine job of bringing their characters off the page. The women half of the cast--Mendes and Amber Valetta as Albert's girlfriend--is just the kind of bland that you'd expect from this kind of movie, unfortunately. That is to say, they are forgiving and sweet when the guys are making awkward idiots of themselves, vengeful slappers when the guys are being jerks, and funny when we see them in moments of insecurity. And, of course, they are as pretty as can be. But replace them with any other pretty actresses from any other romantic comedy, and it would probably work just as well. They simply aren't given anything interesting to work with, which is a real shame.
Will and Eva heard that they were casting for the next James Bond movie.
Hitch's salvation is its humor, which is laugh-out-loud funny in many places, and a
balanced mix of dialogue and physical comedy that keeps the gags from getting old. And,
thankfully, almost none of it has anything to do with sex or the bathroom (Still, I wouldn't take
my five- to eight-year-old kid to see it, as I noted plenty of parents doing at the showing I was
at. Geez, people, it's PG-13 for a reason!).
Chances are, if you're not a fan of romantic comedies Hitch won't grab you. Clearly the product of thoughtful writing and a well-intentioned cast, it certainly doesn't take the genre to a new level or create lasting, memorable characters. But if you do have a soft spot for predictable, good-humored Hollywood sap, then Hitch will leave you with a happy, starry-eyed expression on your face, and also manage to entertain the poor guy you dragged along with you for a Valentine's date.
