July 4, 2005: I just noticed that the Greatest Story Ever Told link was totally wrong. I put that link in there back in March, and never changed it when I updated, so the review's been, like, completely missing for 4 months, and nobody ever noticed. Sheesh. That's really depressing. But for what it's worth, I fixed it, so now nobody else can check it out! Man, I'm depressed. Nobody's sent any Random Thoughts, either. I'm all alone, and it scares me.
JOKES
knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"I dunno."
"Then why don't you answer the door?"
"'Cuz that would require getting out of my chair."
"Oh. Guess it's staying shut, then."
"Guess so."
"Fine, then."
"Fine."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Police!"
"Oh, ****!"
"Why did the chicken cross the-OW!
Okay, I get it, not funny! Sheesh!"
"There once was a man from Nantucket...um, say, does anybody know how that
joke actually ends? Seriously. I have no idea."
REMARKS
"I've never even seen that much bean curd!"
"Kindness--it's nice in action!"
"Y'know what really sucks? I mean, what
really, really, really, completely, utterly sucks? You don't? Oh,
forget it, then."
"My spidey sense is tingling! I must need pizza.
Or a gun. No, wait, it's definitely pizza."
"Burl Butts is a truly horrible name."
"Once upon a time, in a land very far away...crap!
I lost my train of thought. Can we start over?"
"If we are quiet long enough, we may hear the call of the elusive batboy! What? What d'you mean, he's not real?"
"Bury me, burn me, compost me, but for heaven's sake, don't plasticize me!"
As you can see, my randomness is somewhat lame. If you can think up something more funny than this stuff, that is also quite random (and free of anything hideously profane), I'm willing to post it on this page for all to see and revel in. E-mail submissions to me at
j_lesta@yahoo.com
and I will use my Maniacal judgement and judge which are worthy of the title Random Thoughts!
