The
National
Negaduck
Personality Test!
Are
you like the Menacing Masked Mallard?
Test yourself and find out!
1.
When you wake up in the morning, the first thing going through
your
mind is:
a. "Today
I will perform a random act of senseless kindness."
b. "Coffee---give me COFFEEEEEEEE!!!"
c. "Today I will perform a random act of senseless violence."
2. You're stuck bumper-to-bumper in rush-hour traffic on the way
home.
People are honking horns and yelling all over the place, and it's
really
bumming you out. What do you do?
a. Roll up
the windows, put on a music CD and sing along with the lyrics
until the traffic moves.
b. Scream and curse and beat your head against the steering wheel.
c. Jump
out of your car, run all the way up to the front and beat the
crap
out of the driver.
3. You're at the movies, and are just enjoying the show when some
loud-
mouthed, obnoxious jerk starts catcalling the film and laughing
out loud.
What will you do about this guy?
a. Politely ask him to settle down, and if he doesn't, you'll call the management.
b. Dump your large drink and nachos all over him.
c. Shoot him.
4. You're pushing a basket through a crowded supermarket and
people keep
getting in your way. Do you:
a. Smile sweetly and say "excuse me" despite the dirty looks you get?
b. Snarl "Do you mind???" and maneuver around people as best you can?
c. Jump on
your cart and zoom it around like a maniac, screaming "10
POINTS!!!"
each time you crash into another basket (or another shopper)?
5. You are passing by a jewelry store and see a gorgeous gold
ring with a big,
fat diamond on it. What would you like to do?
a. Go in and see if you can buy it on time.
b. Just
stand there and drool pathetically because you can't afford it
and want
it NOW!!!
c. Bust the window, reach in and get it, then run like the wind!!!
6. A Girl Scout comes to your door selling cookies. What do you
do?
a. Buy all she's got and hope she wins that trip to the Capitol this year!
b. Say "Nope!" and slam the door in her face.
c. Grab
her by the ankles, shake her down for all her cookie money, chase
her
screaming down the sidewalk and then make off with all the
cookies she dropped.
7. Someone's visiting you and you have a bowl of fruit on your
coffee table. Two
apples are in the bowl; one is big and red and luscious looking,
while the other is
withered up and has a worm in it. Both you and your guest want
some apple. So
what would you do?
a. Cut the
good one in half and share, or else give it all up and eat a
banana or
something.
b. Grab
the good one and eat it. Your guest can settle for a banana, and
who
invited him anyway?
c. Take the good one and cram the rotten one down your guest's throat.
8. You're at someone's house for dinner and accidentally burp out
loud.
How do you deal with that?
a. Blush and humbly say, "Excuse me."
b. Smirk and say, "Hey, be glad that was just a burp!"
c. Punctuate the moment by making those disgusting noises under your armpit.
9. You are at the mall and happen by one of those cutlery shops.
You stand at
the window staring at all the merchandise. What's going through
your mind this
moment?
a. "Very nice---but I hope nobody gets hurt by any of them."
b. "Far out---hara kiri daggers!"
c. You're ready to run inside screaming, "GIMME THE BIGGEST KNIFE YOU GOT!"
10. Your kid is playing the stereo way too loud in his / her room.
Immediately you:
a. Ignore it and even dance to the music.
b. Scream "SHUT OFF THAT INFERNAL NOISE!"
c. Kick in
the door and slice the stereo in half with your chainsaw. Hey,
you
don't mind traumatizing the family, do you?
Now
add up your score!
1 point for each 'a' answer; 2 points for each 'b' and 3 for each
'c'.
10
pts:
You must live in the Posiverse. You should be canonised!
11-19
pts:
Okay, you're not the
saint, but at least you're normal.
20 pts:
You must have answered all 'b's, which still
means you're normal.
21-23 pts:
You need aromatherapy. You need some
kind of therapy, anyhoo.
24-26
pts:
You need tranquilizers. Lots and LOTS of tranquilizers.
27
pts:
Better get fitted for a strait jacket.
28-29
pts:
You're so much like Negs, you can't be trusted with chainsaws.
30
points:
You're going to Hell, baby.