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Mandy Fred and Marge

So this guy and a girl, lets name them Mandy and Fred, so any way Mandy and Fred walk into this bar. They both take a seat at a table and Mandy looks to Fred in an odd way.
"What is it?" Fred asked
"I need to tell you something." Says Mandy
"Oh great," Says Fred "Not 'I'm some super unintelligent alien from a star not to far away,' thing again I hope."
Mandy scoff and says "No, not this time, I'm over that."
Fred lets out a small sigh of relief, "So then what is it?"
"Well," Mandy said "I’m not sure if I should tell you."
"Then why the bloody hell did you say 'I have something to tell you' if you don’t want to tell me it???"
"Your right," Mandy said "It’s not fair to be leaving you in the dark like this. Truth is...”
"Can I offer you 2 a drink to start off with?" Mandy's sentence was cut short by a 200 pound woman in dire need of a stick of deodorant. This 200 pound women in dire need of a stick of deodorant had a name tag that appeared to be soaked in sweet and hog fat, and in little blurred letter spelled out Marge. Both Mandy and Fred had been taken by surprise by the sudden stench and speech coming from this 40 year old sack of fat.
Fred squinted his eyes to try and make some sense of the name tag "Well Marge is it? I would like just a coke"
"Oh no," Says Mandy "Your going to need something a lot stronger then that. Get us both a bottle of whisky"
"Alright," Marge said as she flopped down 2 menus onto the table "I'll be back in a bit to take your order"
Fred picked up the menu, which nearly feel to pieces in his hand, "So I’m thinking something on the spicy side how about you Mandy?"
"I'm thinking something on the side of shut the hell up and listen to me Fred!"
Fred looked at her rather surprised, number one because Mandy had never talked to him in such a manner before and number two because of the little gremlin that stood on the back of her chair with a knife.
"Now listen Fred, there are these gremlins running around, their going to kill everyone if we don’t stop them!!!"
Fred Pointed behind her "You mean like that little fellow?"
Mandy turned around just in time to get a knife in the eye. But for the split second before the knife plunged into her eyes she saw the gremlin. It was then that Fred felt a cold splash of water on his face. He shook his head and pulled himself out of his odd little day dream. Fred often had day dreams such as that and found them rather odd, unexpected, unwanted, and annoying. Fred saw a now empty glass in the right hand of Mandy, obviously she had seen the glazed look in his eyes and decided that what ever the hell it was that she wanted to say was more important then what ever he was thinking.
"Now listen!" Mandy shouted quietly, “I have to tell you that" THUD!!! The loud noise in the sentence before this one was caused by a bottle of whisky being slammed down on the table by Marge. 2 more thuds soon followed when Marge set down 2 glasses onto the table in front of both Mandy and Fred.
Mandy wanted to tell the ugly old hag to bugger off but instead she managed a polite "Thank you." and turned back to Fred
"Now then Fred, listen very carefully for the fate of the entire plan" "Are you 2 ready to order yet or not?" Ask the 40 year old woman who Mandy just now thought 'She's not going to get very far in life is she?'
Nonetheless Mandy was annoyed by Marge’s voice "No," said Mandy "We're not. Come back later."
"Like I was saying Fred" "You sure because I have a lot of table and might not be able to come back for at least"
"YES” shouted Mandy "I'm quite sure we're not ready yet!"
"Actually I'll take a hamburger with fries if I could" piped in Fred. This struck Mandy as quite odd since Fred had just said he was thinking that he wanted something spicy. Mandy shook her head reminding herself the business at hand. "What ever fine, now listen!"
"And how about you?" Marge asked Mandy. Mandy look at the woman as if it were some unintelligent cow from the plant Crention, which in it of itself was quite unusual seeing as how Crention had no cows, only sheep. "Nothing now thanks, now Fred!"
"You sure because I have to take both orders together so that they arrive at the same" "YES! I'M QUITE SURE!!!"
"Well then I guess he'll have to wait on his hamburger and fries until your ready then." Marge said in an annoyed tone that made Mandy annoyed at the situation entirely.
"Oh come on Mandy, I'm awfully hungry." Fred said in a voice which remind Mandy of a 2 year old child.
Mandy looked at the 2 in complete disbelief. The fate of the world lied in their hands and if Mandy could just get one sentence in they would know the true nature of the problem that was soon to befall upon all man kind!!!
"You know what," Mandy said "To hell with it. I'll take a stake... Medium rare"

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