Friday morning, Taylor lay on the examining table, anxiously awaiting the doctor’s entrance.
“You nervous?” Brooklynn smiled, standing next to her friend. She had come along for moral support.
“I guess a little. I just don’t want him to tell me anything bad, ya know. I’ve been so stressed out lately…” Taylor explained with a sigh.
“Don’t worry…everything’s fine…I guarantee it.”
“Morning Miss. Kelso,” Dr. Warner entered the room with a warm grin.
The doctor was a heavy set man in his mid-forties. Taylor never felt uncomfortable going to him because he had a way about him that put all of his patients at ease.
“Morning, Dr. Warner,” she smiled back. “This is my best friend Brooklynn.”
“Of course…and, where’s the daddy today?” the doctor was bustling around his counter getting all of his instruments ready.
“I don’t really know. We haven’t spoken in about two months.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he turned back to her. “You ready?”
She smiled and nodded.
A few minutes later he looked up at her. “You wanna hear the heartbeat?”
“Yeah…can you do that?”
Dr. Warner laughed lightly. “Yeah, we can do that.”
He hit a few buttons on his machine, and a rhythmic bumping filled the room.
Taylor smiled and few tears sprung to her eyes. “That’s my baby’s heart…” she looked over at Brooklynn, who was also smiling. Brooklynn took her friends hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Would you like to know the sex?”
Taylor thought for a moment, then nodded.
“Okay, take a look at the screen for me,” Dr. Warner instructed. He ran his wand over her belly and a black and white picture of the baby appeared on the screen.
Again, Taylor felt herself well up as she watched the baby, only half listening to the doctor as he pointed out different limbs.
The baby was lying on it’s back, feet up in the air, and appeared to be sucking it’s thumb.
“Taylor, you’re having a boy,” Dr. Warner broke her stream of thought.
“A boy?” she asked with a smile.
“A boy. And he appears to be healthy. Just keep him that way for the next six months or so and he’ll be born happy and ready to go.”
“Thanks, Dr. Warner,” Taylor grinned.
“No problem,” he winked, then left the room.
The whole drive to Brooklynn’s, Taylor couldn’t stop smiling. She was genuinely excited about her baby. Her son. Knowing the sex cemented the reality of the situation in her mind. It scared her, as well. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, especially with Sam gone, but Taylor was determined to make it on her own.
“I haven’t seen you smile this much in a long time,” Brooklynn mused, lighting a cigarette as they pulled into her driveway.
“I’m really geeked about having this baby. This little boy is all mine, ya know. He may be want I need to keep my life on track.”
“You gonna tell Sam it’s a boy?” Brook asked quietly.
“I don’t know, I think he should be told, but I don’t know if I want him around,” Taylor shrugged.
“Well…call me later alright?” Brook opened her car door.
“Most definitely,” Taylor smiled.
On the way home, Taylor stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things for her mom.
She was walking through the potato chip aisle when she heard someone call her name.
Taylor turned to look, and saw Sam’s smiling father walking towards her
“Mr. Mullholand…hi,” she smiled back, slightly uncomfortable.
“How’ve you been?” he pulled her into a hug.
“Alright, and yourself?” she felt herself fall into ease.
“Good, good…how’s my little grandbaby?” he put a hand on her stomach.
“He’s good,” she smiled.
“He? It’s a boy?”
“Yeah, it’s a boy.”
“Was Sammy excited to find out he’s having a son?”
Taylor’s smile faded into a look of confusion. “Sam?”
“Yeah…he said you two had a doctor’s appointment this morning and then he had to go to work, so I haven’t gotten to talk to him,” the man explained.
“Sam and I haven’t spoken for a couple of months, Mr. Mullholand…we broke up.”
“Broke up?” his smile dropped. “But he said you found out you were pregnant and you guys went to New Orleans and he’s been living with you since you returned from the trip,” Mr. Mullholand recounted his son’s story.
“I don’t know what to say…I didn’t go to New Orleans, and I was told Sam didn’t go either…I was in New York with my mother. The last time I saw Sam was the day I came home…he was at my house, and we ended it for good…” a cold fear crept over Taylor’s body. Where was he? Was he alright?
The man read the concern in her face and gently took her hand.
“He’s fine, sweetie…I see or talk to him everyday. He probably just needs some time to himself, and I’m sure you ended it, not him.”
Her face flushed.
“Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed. I understand why you did it. Maybe now he’ll learn his lesson and stop acting like such an asshole,” he winked. “Now, I’m off…if you need anything, sweetheart, just call me. Just because Sam isn’t around, doesn’t mean I won’t be.”
And with that, he walked away.
Later that night, Taylor was laying in bed filling out her baby book when her phone rang.
She glanced at her watch. It was almost one thirty in the morning. ‘Who in the hell…’ she thought silently.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Sam? Is that you?”
“Who else would it be?” he answered shortly.
“Where’ve you been? I ran into your dad today and he told me this insane story about how you’ve been living with me…”
“Meet me somewhere and I’ll explain everything,” he cut her off, his tone gentle.
“Sam it’s one in the morning…” she sighed.
“Please…I need to see you…I need to talk to you,” he pleaded.
“Where do you wanna meet?”
“Coffee shop in ten?”
“Okay,” she agreed, then hung up the phone.
Sam sat in the corner of the small coffee shop. The booth he had chosen was small and away from the rowdy drunks coming in from the bar.
He watched his fingers trembling slightly as they brought his Marlboro to his lips. Was he nervous? Or was it just the withdrawal? Probably both, he reasoned.
When she walked in, he felt the butterflies in his stomach go wild.
Taylor walked into the small diner and let her eyes roam the sparse crowd. She found him in the back, and his appearance shocked her.
He had put on weight—not a lot, but a good five or ten pounds. His hair was soft and mussed, not gelled and spiked as she had always remembered. Thin, silver wire framed glasses rested on the bridge of his nose.
He gave her a small smile then waved her over.
She drew in a deep breath, walked over and slid into her seat.
“You look amazing…more beautiful than I ever remember…” he greeted gently.
“Thank you…you look good, too. You look healthier than I’ve seen you in a long time.”
“I’ve been in rehab…I checked in the day you got home from New York…after I left your house. I have a problem…and I didnt’ realize it until too late…until I lost you…” he explained quietly.
“I’m glad your getting help, Sam…that’s the best news anyone could ever tell me…but why didn’t you tell your dad?”
“I couldn’t tell him that I was checking in myself into the rehab. That would have been a great conversation—‘Hey dad, I’m addicted to cocaine and various pain killers, oh yeah, and I’m an alcoholic and a pot head too, so I’m gonna go stay at the junkie clinic for awhile’,” he replied seriously.
“He knew Sam…he’s not stupid.”
“Yeah, well…if he knew why didn’t he ever bother to help me…”
“You wouldn’t have listened anyway…you never listened to me,” she explained sadly. “What made you want to quit?”
“After everything with Brook, I went a little crazy. That’s when my addiction really became an addiction…and when you came home, and you told me you hated me…” he started to cry softly, “I couldn’t stand it…I knew that if I didn’t control my problem, you’d be lost for good…I want to be a part of your life, of our baby’s life…”
“It’s a boy, Sam. We’re having a boy,” she smiled.
Sam wiped his tears away and grinned. “A boy? That’s great…I always wanted a son…”
Her smile faded suddenly. “How did you know I had an appointment this morning?”
“Bella told me…I ran into her the other day when I was getting off of work and I asked about you.”
“You’ve got a job? Like, a real one?”
He laughed. “Don’t sound so shocked. I’m working at a garage as a mechanic.”
“That’s good…are you still staying at the clinic?”
“No, I’ve got my own apartment.”
“When do you start school? Soon, right?” she smiled.
“I’m not going…” he shifted uncomfortably.
“What do you mean?” her face fell and her brow furrowed.
“I failed my drug test and they told me to not bother applying again…”
“Oh my god, Sam…I’m so sorry,” she reached over and took his hand in hers.
“It’s my own fault…I deserve it,” he let his eyes rest on their joined hands and lightly rubbed his fingers over hers.
They were silent, then, taking each other in, their fingers laced together.
“I miss you…” he spoke finally. “I never…I never wanted to hurt you…”
“Sam, don’t…you don’t have to explain yourself…”
“Yes, I do,” he nodded. “I didn’t do it to hurt you—cheating, I mean—and until Brooklynn, I had been faithful for over a year…I don’t really know why I did it, only that I couldn’t help myself…but I did love you…I still love you so much it hurts…”
Silent tears fell from her eyes as she listened to him speak.
“I’ve been a real jag-off, I know,” he continued, “but I just need you to know that I love you more now than ever before, and I want us to raise our son together…”
“Sam,” she shook her head, “it’s not that easy and you know it…”
“I know, but just…do you love me?”
“I can’t do this right now,” she pulled her hand away from his.
“Don’t run away. You always run away and then nothing gets better, it only gets worse. It’s a simple question…do you love me?”
“It isn’t that simple…if I say I yes, Sam, I love you, I’m opening myself up to so many possibilities. I’m vulnerable and I’m giving myself back to you…and maybe things would work out. Maybe we’d finally be happy. But maybe history would just repeat itself again, only it would be worse because we’d have a child in the middle of it. If I say no, I don’t love you…I’m shutting you out and not giving you or myself the chance to get past all of our problems…”
“Stop thinking so much,” he slid into the seat beside her, “and look in your heart. Look at me and tell me what your heart is saying…”
She did look at him, in his eyes, and she found herself at a loss for words. He was overwhelmingly sad, and the melancholy in his eyes added to his over all beauty. Her heart broke at the thought of being without him. Her brain told her he was no good—always had been, and always will be.
“Close your eyes…” she whispered.
Without a word, he did as she had asked.
She moved closer to him in the seat and slowly ran her hand down his cheek, down his throat.
“Kiss me…” Taylor requested quietly, so quietly she thought that maybe he hadn’t heard her.
Sam opened his eyes and looked her, then laid his lips to hers gently. His hands went to her face, cupping her face as the kiss deepened. She rested her hands around his wrists, her heart pounded with every passing moment.
“I do love you…” she breathed when their lips parted.
“Come home with me? I want to show you something…”
“Okay,” she nodded.
Hand in hand, the newly reconciled couple left the diner.
“It’s beautiful, Sam,” Taylor smiled looking at the apartment’s living room.
Though small, it was very nice—a living room/dining room area, a small kitchen, and down the hall she could see two bedrooms, she assumed, and a bathroom.
“Thank you…but there’s more…” he gave her the grand tour, ending up outside of the last room, a second bedroom just as Taylor had suspected.
He opened the door and revealed that the room was being transformed into a nursery. And all she could do was smile.
“You’re really serious about this? You want to help?”
“I’m ready to be an adult, and do the adult thing,” he answered simply. She turned to look at him, her smile still evident.
Sam reached into his pocket and withdrew something that he concealed in his hand. He then dropped onto one knee and held out his hand. “Marry me?” he presented her with a small square diamond on a white gold band.
“Sam…” her smile faded.
“Shhh…you don’t have to answer me tonight…” he stood up again, closed the box and handed it to her. “I just need you to know how serious I am about you,” his voice was gentle and understanding.
“I better get going…” she put the box into her pocket.
Sam walked her out to her car, then kissed her softly. “Be careful,” he warned. “I love you.”
“I love you, too…goodnight.”