He hadn’t said anything the whole drive there, and when they arrived only suggested that they go to her room. He didn’t want to see Scott when he came home.
He was now laying on her bed, his hands under his head.
Taylor took a seat in her desk chair in silence. She didn’t know what to say to him.
“Come lay with me,” Landon requested after a minute or so.
“I can’t lay with you cause this dress is too damn short and tight…but I’ll sit with you,” she replied as she stood, grateful that he was speaking.
“No, I want you to lay with me...you’ll just have to change,” he pointed to her drawers, with the first smile he’d shown since the blow up at the restaurant.
Taylor rifled through for a minute before finding what she wanted.
Landon inconspicuously watched as she peeled off the snug little blue dress, followed by her high-heels and thigh highs.
He found himself soaking up every detail.
Her stomach, once flat and tight, no doubt, had a smooth roundness. The remnants of baby weight she hadn’t been able to lose he guessed. Her hips were broad, accentuated by the little white hipster panties she wore, and then her figure tapered at the waist, only to widen out again at her breasts, covered by a white lacy strapless bra. A nearly perfect hourglass.
‘The way a woman ought to be built,” he thought to himself.
“What is it?” Taylor asked uncomfortably, feeling his eyes on her.
“I’m sorry…it’s just that, I haven’t seen a woman like this in so long…I just…you’re…Taylor, you’re beautiful…” he answered with a slight blush and a gentle smile as he sat up.
“Thank you,” she pulled on a tee shirt then sweat pants, and sat down next to him.
“I am sorry…I didn’t mean to gawk at you, love.”
“No, it’s alright…it’s nice to know that man might still want to look at me…and a gay man at that…”
“Why wouldn’t men want to look at you?”
“Landon, I’m a nineteen year old divorcee with a baby…I’m exhausted, heavier than I’m used to being at this point, a bit rough around the edges cause of all the stress…I would assume that most men would run at the idea of a girl like me.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
“Course you can.”
“With your husband…Sam…how were things? Like, how did he treat you?” Landon pressed gently.
Taylor let out a sigh and laid back with one hand behind her hand, the other arm slung over her stomach. “How did Sam treat me…to be honest it depended on the day. When we first got together, he treated me like a princess…he was so attentive and sweet…what I didn’t know was that he was cheating on me the whole time. Well, I knew, I heard things, but I never believed any of it…and when he finally started to be faithful, he went into that ‘party mode’…he drank a lot, did every drug known to man…I knew about it, cause we were together constantly, but we fought all the time, about everything and anything….but he would always make it up to me ten fold…I didn’t know how bad his drug and alcohol problems were until much later. When I found out I was pregnant, he flipped on me and jumped into bed with Brook…”
“He had an affair with Brooklynn?”
“A fling…a one night stand. I left him for it…but he came crawling back with a diamond ring and a million promises. And I took him back…I said yes. And things were perfect, Landon, the best they’ve ever been—no drugs, no drinking, no other women, it was just me, Sam, and baby to be…I thought he’d changed, I honestly believed it…”
“But he didn’t…”
She shook her head. “After a month or so of being married, he started to quote-unquote ‘work’ all the time, and then we made love less and less, he kissed me less and less, finally we barely even spoke to each other…and eventually, I got sick of it, and tried to talk to him about it…he grabbed me by the throat and jacked me against the wall…Scott came and got me out of there….later that night, I had to go back to our apartment to get some things, and I found him in bed with my sister…”
“That’s horrible…you know you deserve better than that don’t you?” he laid beside her and slung his arm over her stomach, his free hand propping up his head.
“I know…but…I still miss him so much,” her voice cracked and she started to cry.
“Oh, baby doll…” Landon sat back up and gathered her into his arms, letting her cry into his chest. “Shhhh…let it all out, it’s okay…it’s okay,” he stroked her hair softly.
“I know he’s an asshole,” she hiccupped after a few minutes, “but I love him…I still love him!”
“Of course you do…he’s the father of your child, he was the first man in your life…you’ll always love him, sweetie. You just have to accept and know that loving someone doesn’t mean that they deserve your love, and that love isn’t always enough to make everything work out and be okay in the end.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in love,” she sniffled, pulling away from him a bit but staying in his arms.
“I don’t…but I’ve seen enough broken hearts to know how it works.”
“I didn’t mean to fall apart on you like that…”
“Sometimes you need to fall apart in order to be put back together,” he whispered, cupping her face in his hands and wiping the tears from her face with his thumbs.
She drew in a deep breath and tried to calm herself. “Tell me about KC…where did you meet?”
“England…he was on holiday there and he saw us perform in this little pub…one thing lead to another and he got us to sign him as our manager. He brought us here, we worked together for months, and one night we were recording a demo to send out to club owner and record companies, and everything was laid down and sounded great, except for my vocals—I had a cold and I was having trouble getting the right sounds to come out, ya know…anyway, I had to stay, and the guys were exhausted, so KC offered to stay and keep me company, try and get the vocals down that night rather than another day. Once we got what we wanted, he drove me home…kissed me goodnight. The rest is history,” he shrugged. “And because of tonight I have a feeling he and I will be history.”
“You feel more for him than you let on.”
“Why do you say that?”
“If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be this upset…you wouldn’t fight with him as much as you do. Maybe you aren’t in love with him, but you’re dangerously close to falling. That’s the real reason you’re thinking of ending it…he’s breaking down your barriers.”
“You’re wrong, and very naïve to think that,” he shook his head. “I don’t like to be made the fool, and tonight I was the fool.”
Taylor said nothing.
“Let’s talk about something ridiculous…get our minds off of those damn men,” Landon grinned suddenly.
“Like what?” she smiled back.
“Ummm…what’s your favorite movie, and why?”
“Star Wars, cause I’m a geek, Princess Bride, cause I never get sick of it, and Gone with the Wind, cause it’s romantic.”
“I’ll agree on Star Wars, never seen the other two…but my fave of the moment is Donnie Darko…”
“That movie is twisted and strange…but a good choice…okay….Guilty Pleasure?”
“Define Guilty Pleasure,” he challenged.
“One cheesy thing that you can’t get enough of that hardly anyone knows about,” she clarified.
“Re-runs of Full House…don’t you say a word, Taylor Mullholand…just give your answer.”
“Hanson. Never really outgrew it,” she suppressed a giggle at his answer.
“Celebrity crush?” he countered.
“Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom…a little more for Orlando as of recent cause of Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings…that ties into the Star Wars geek thing…the Lord of the Rings liking.”
“I’m a Shane West kinda guy myself,” Landon grinned. “But Orlando’s pretty sexy.”
Taylor laughed.
“Can I ask you something serious?” Taylor questioned once the two had calmed down.
“Anything.”
“What happened to you…to make you…shut out love?”
“Nothing happened…I just don’t believe in it. I’ve tried to fall, test out the theory, if you will, but nothing happened. I’m incapable of loving.”
“Everyone is capable of love, Landon. And it isn’t something you can will yourself to feel…it has to just happen. And I don’t believe that nothing happened…and I won’t leave you alone till you tell me the truth.”
“Taylor, leave it be…I’ve told you the truth already. I never want to fall in love, that’s just the way it is.”
“What is so horrible about love that you reject the very idea of its existence?”
“Here’s the process, as I’ve observed: you meet, you date, you fall in love, you get your heartbroken. Nothing lasts forever—Nothing being the key word in that phrase. Love isn’t an exception. Every person I’ve known whose allowed themselves to fall into this illusionary state has walked away a broken person—friends, my mother, you, not even ten minutes ago. Why would I want that for myself? Allow my better judgment to be clouded for however long only to have the cause walk out on me when things got too tough to deal with or they got bored with me?”
“You’re afraid of getting hurt…you’re afraid of commitment,” she concluded quietly.
“I’m afraid of illusions of the mind and emotions.”
“It’s so sad, Landon…you could give so much…you’re just that kind of person…”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he cut her off. “The last thing I need right now is to have a row with you and the topic is starting to piss me off,” he shot back quickly.
“Fine…sorry…just trying to get you to open up,” Taylor answered sulkily.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you, okay…I can open up without us having this love conversation, cause let’s face it, I don’t think we’ll ever agree…I’ll tell you anything else you want to know, I’ll talk about everything and anything you’re heart desires, but let’s let the love conversation end here, alright?”
She nodded.
“My turn…why’d you stay with Sam for so long? Why take his shit for all those years—let him cheat on you and be mean to you?”
“I loved him, first off…and I’ll give you this much—you’re right about love being in illusionary state. I honestly thought he’d change. That I could make him change. I believed that he loved me and was just scared. Then there was my own fear…I was never lucky with boys. I used to be fat and such a tomboy…I slimmed down only a few months before I met Sam, started acting like a girl—make up and perfume and all that jazz, ya know. He was the first non-dweeby, non creepy guy to look at me that way—as a girl, furthermore, as a girl to be dated…well, I guess Hayden was really the first, but I never knew he felt that way back then. And Sam was just…good looking, and dangerous, and exciting…I fell so hard and so fast, and I became Sam Mullholand’s Girlfriend. That was my whole identity. If I wasn’t with him, who was I? That’s how I feel now…lost. Like a complete stranger to myself.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be sorry…it’s not your fault or your doing…you asked and I explained…nothing more, nothing less.”
“Does Draco remember him or ask for him at all?”
“Yeah…you know that’s one thing I can say positive about Sam…he was a good father when he was around. Draco adored him. I can’t say his name or the baby gets all wound up and thinks he’s coming home…I had to put all my pictures away cause he gets the same way when he sees a photo of Sam,” Taylor explained sadly. “I feel so bad for Draco. That he had to have a fuck up for a father…I mean what’s he gonna do without a dad? Scotts great with him, but I can’t expect Scott to take on the role of father forever ya know.”
“I think its better to have no dad at all as apposed to having a dad that’s a lying cheating druggie that hits mom all the time. He’s better off with one parent that loves him…and you’re a great mother, Taylor. I mean it. And he’s a happy child surrounded by a surrogate family—Brook and Hayden and Scott and now me—that love him.”
She smiled then looked into his eyes. “You’re a great guy, Landon…and an even better friend.”
“I try,” he answered quietly with a soft smile.
Landon felt something change in him at that moment, though he didn’t know why it happened. Up until then, he and Taylor had had great talks, but never this deep. She had opened up to him, and he to her. She would never be just his friend Taylor again…she had become much more in one instant.
Taylor yawned. “I’m tired…wanna watch a movie for a bit?”
“Sure,” he nodded. “Can I stay here with you tonight? I don’t wanna be there if KC stops by…and if I do go home, and he doesn’t stop by I’ll be more pissed at him than I am now.”
“Oh sure, just use me for my house,” she teased.
“Yeah, well, maybe another reason to stay all night is cause I have such a great time with you…plus when KC asks me where I was—cause he’ll at least call and realize I’m not there—I’ll tell him I was in bed with a gorgeous blonde,” he teased back.
“You do that,” she laughed. “Now…you want something to wear to bed? I have a pair of Sam’s sweatpants that I ganked a million years ago and you borrow a tee shirt or something,” Taylor questioned, getting out of bed and going through her drawers again, throwing pants and a loose old tee shirt at him.
“I didn’t know you had a tattoo,” she said after he had pulled his shirt off and she was facing him again, sitting ‘Indian style” on the floor.
“I have two. This one,” he pointed to the one she’d just noticed, barbed wire around his left bicep. “And this one…I, too, am a big Lord of the Rings geek…it’s my name in Elvish,” he explained, holding up his right forearm.
“I can’t believe I never noticed that one before,” she stood and held his arm, examining the Elvish script. “Very spiffy,” she nodded as she sat on her bed.
Taylor let her eyes roam over his torso—from the sparse ‘happy trail’ emerging from beneath his boxers to just below his belly button, the hair dark against his fair skin, up to his stomach, hard yet undefined, over his smooth chest, across his broad shoulders.
“What movie you wanna watch?” he questioned, looking at the DVD’s she had on her shelf.
“You pick,” she answered as normally as possible, though she was distracted since his pants were now discarded and he wore nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs.
‘Come on…one more item to go…’ she though to herself then couldn’t help but let a giggle out loud.
“Are you laughing at my chicken legs?” he turned his head and asked with a smile as he pulled the sweatpants on.
“Not at all…just laughing at myself,” she blushed slightly.
“Whatever,” he shrugged then turned back to the movies. “OOO! Can we watch The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?” he pulled it off the shelf and turned back to Taylor.
“Shane West is in that.”
“Hence the reason I chose it…it was either this or A Walk to Remember, and Many Moore irritates me so this won,” he explained putting the DVD into her player.
Landon pulled on the tee shirt then got into bed and pulled Taylor close to him, leaving his arms around her waist as she pulled the covers up over both of them.
“Thank you for talking to me about Sam…you’re the only person I can cry about him with,” Taylor sighed as she leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. “And sometimes I just need to cry about him.”
“Anytime love…if crying will help, then cry. What’s most important is that you get over him so that you move and find someone who will give you and Draco everything you need and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
“I know you don’t believe in it, but I could fall in love with you Landon…you better be careful,” she smiled up at him, then back at the television.
“I dunno what I can possibly say to that…”
“Don’t say anything…just keep being you.”
He smiled and pulled her closer, hoping she wouldn’t mind, then kissed the top of her head and settled into the bed to watch the movie.
After dropping Scott off at home, Hayden and Brooklynn returned to their apartment.
“What an eventful night,” Hayden stretched, throwing his car keys on the coffee table.
“Agreed…I hope Lan’s okay…” Brook sighed, kicking off her shoes and throwing her jacket over the back of the couch. “I’m gonna go get in my jammies…I’ll be right back.”
“Good idea,” Hayden nodded, then the two set off to their bedrooms.
When Hayden returned to the living room, now in his boxers and an old white tee shirt, he saw that Brook was already on the couch, remote in hand, flipping through the channels.
He hung back for a moment, just watching her.
Her hair was in a messy knot at the back of her head. She wore a pair of little red silk shorts with a tight black tank top.
“You gonna stand there and stare at me all night, or are you gonna come over here and do something about it?” she asked suddenly, turning to face him with a teasing smile.
“What makes you think I’m starin’ at you?” he teased back as he walked over and sat next to her, putting his feet up on the coffee table.
“Cause you’ve been starin at me all night.”
“Have I?”
“Mmm Hmmm…” she nodded, her grin no longer teasing but seductive as she dropped the remote on the floor.
“Well I’m sorry for staring…and I don’t think I’ll do anything about it.”
“And what if I do something about it?”
“What did you have in mind?” he played along, hoping and praying that she wasn’t just toying with him.
Brooklynn pushed his feet off of the table then straddled his waist. She put one hand behind his head, twirling his long hair between her fingers. Her other hand cupped his face as she leaned forward and kissed him hotly.
He responded immediately, taking her hair out of its ponytail and letting his hands tangle in her locks as they spilled over her shoulders.
“Take me to the bedroom,” she begged as he kissed and nibbled on her neck, reluctantly pulling away and standing up.
Once he too was on his feet, he pick her up, legs swung over one arm as the other held her around the middle.
Her bedroom was closest. He gently kicked the door open and set her down on her feet.
His lips found hers again as he ran his hands down her body, hooking his fingers in the waist band of her shorts.
“I have never wanted anyone more than I want you right now…” he confessed before pulling her tank top over her head, exposing her breasts and soft flat belly.
“I’m yours,” she whispered as he kissed her neck and gently massaged her breast with one hand.
Within minutes they were void of all clothing, attached at the lip and edging towards the bed.
She laid down, and Hayden crawled on top of her, and kissed her neck as their bodies united.
She clung to him as they reveled in their slow passion.
Hayden wanted to take his time, he loved feeling her around him, hearing her soft whispers and heavy breathing as he brought her pleasure to new heights.
“Brook…” he panted as he took her, feeling more complete than he had ever felt in his life.
He laced his fingers with hers and brought both of her hands over her head, pinning her down.
“MMM…Hayden,” her hips lifted to meet him halfway. “I need you…don’t ever stop…”
He kissed her mouth to silence her, though he loved knowing that he was doing this to her, that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.
In that moment, she broke her hands loose from his grasp and rolled their bodies so he was on his back and she was on top of him. She ran her nails down his chest and stomach as she rode him, his hands gripping her waist, pulling her onto him. He watched in silent and carnal awe and as her eyes closed and her head fell back, as her chest heaved with every breath.
A satisfied and loud moan from each marked their climax.
Brooklynn slouched down and kissed his lips.
“I have to tell you something…” he held her hair away from her face.
“What is it?” she smiled, sinking down allowing him to enfold her naked body in his strong arms.
“You have my body…and my heart this time.”
She silently kissed him again. “Better late than never,” Brooklynn teased sweetly before settling into post-coital bliss and exhaustion.