On the pillow where Landon had been was a note addressed to her in his loopy large writing.
Taylor,Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. Last night was wonderful–I can honestly say that I’ve never been more at ease or more open about myself than I was with you. I know I didn’t offer much, or what you wanted answered, but what I gave was more than I’ve ever told anyone else.
But the best part of the night, for me, was getting to know who you are–being able to see the softer side of you. Your emotional side. Last night was the first time I’ve ever heard your ex husband’s name pass your lips, the first time I’ve seen how the very thought of him breaks your heart.
And in all the intimacy we shared with words, something changed inside of me.
I need some time to myself, love...to sort things out and find out what it all means in the end. I’ll come to you once I know for sure, no sooner, and I’m begging you not to come to me.
I know you’re probably wondering what this is all about, and I’m being honest when I confess that I don’t really know.
I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this...I’ve started to ramble. Understand that this distance between us is not your doing, nor is it forever. I will come back to you when the time is right and I’ve made sense of everything. Being away from you is going to be hard, but this is something I have to do for myself.
Just know and have faith in this: You mean more to me than I know how to express in words.
Always
Landon
With a soft sigh and a heavy heart, Taylor got out of bed and went into the kitchen.
“Are you still mad at me?” Scott greeted quietly from the table.
“I was never mad at you...I think you just picked a bad time and the wrong way to discuss a sensitive subject,” she answered honestly as she poured a cup of coffee.
“Where’s he at? I know he slept here last night,” Scott question referring, of course, to Landon.
“He left before I woke up...I don’t know where is now or when he left,” Taylor explained as she sat down.
“Oh. You seem a little down...are you alright?”
“Fine.”
“Okay...”
“I mean it...I’m perfectly fine.”
“I believe you.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay? So what if I’m falling for a man who’s gay but has hinted ever so subtly that he fall for me too, but snuck out on me in the middle of the night. Why would that bother me at all?!” she dropped her head onto the table after venting.
“You’re in love with my brother’s boyfriend?” Scott questioned simply.
“No...I’m not in love with him...that would be crazy,” she sat back up and folded her arms across her chest .
“Well, you’ve never been one to take the sane route in life...”
“This isn’t funny, Scott!”
“You’re right. It’s sick is what it is. You know he’s gay, you know he has a boyfriend, but you’re disregarding all of the facts and letting your emotions get in the way. I mean, honestly, Taylor...what is it about this kid that is making you act like some lovesick puppy?”
“I don’t know!...He’s just...Him, ya know. He’s a musician, you know I’ve always had a thing for musicians...he makes me laugh...his voice, all he has to do is talk and I’m mush–its that accent. His cheekbones, his eyes, his hair, his lips...”
“Oh shut up!...He’s Gay! Forget the guitar, the accent, all that other garbage. You’re a pretty girl, Taylor, but that’s why you have chance. You’re a girl.”
“You’re right,” she nodded quietly. “I have to get dressed...pick up Draco...Excuse me.”
Hayden awoke with a smile, Brooklynn still snuggled against him.
He let his fingers lightly brush a few loose ringlets from her face.
Very gently, he kissed her lips.
“Mmm...good morning,” she smiled, hugging him tightly.
“You are so beautiful,” he replied quietly, not taking his eyes off of hers.
“Well you’re amazing.”
“What happened last night...I mean...how...why..”
“Last night was perfect, Hayden. It was amazing and unexpected...like we were drawn together by some unknown force. When we were together for the first time, and you were going crazy over Taylor after it all, I was going crazy over you. Ever since then I’ve wanted a second chance, a fair chance, with you. But you were so into Taylor, and then I met Scott and fell head over heels...but a part of me still wanted you...I hated all of your girlfriends. I hated the way you looked at Taylor–and this is all while I was with Scott. I could never have been with anyone but you last night. My heart wasn’t ready to let anyone in...but you. You’re the only one that I could ever want from this moment on.”
Hayden kissed her mouth hungrily and shifted their bodies so that she lay beneath him.
“Did you mean what you said last night? When you told me I had your heart?” she whispered.
“I mean it more with every beat of my heart,” he whispered back, lightly rubbing his nose over hers in an ‘Eskimo Kiss’.
“Make love to me...” she sighed before catching his lips with hers.
“Landon! Telephone!” Red called to his friend from the hallway.
“Who is it?” Landon called back, refusing to come out of his bedroom.
“KC you git...who was it the last twenty times we had this exact conversation? Now you’re gonna tell me to tell him that you have nothing to say blah blah blah...” Red rolled his eyes as he began to make his way back to the phone in the living room.
“No I’m not,” Landon opened his door and walked huffily past his bandmate.
Will and Damien were in the livingroom, Will reading a book, making an effort at ignoring the situation. Damien was trying to suppress a smile and a laugh.
Landon picked up the receiver up from the table and immediately started talking, not giving KC a chance to say a word.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now and I don’t know when I will so just leave me alone and wait until I call you. If you call me one more time I swear to God that you will regret it,” and then he slammed the receiver down and went back into his room without a backward glance.
Landon lay down on his stomach on his bed (a mattress on the floor) and grabbed the notebook and pen that lay just beside it.
He had only just begun to write a few lyrics when Will walked in and shut the door behind him.
“You wanna tell me what’s goin on?” Will questioned, his arms crossed over his broad chest as he leaned against the wall.
“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about,” Landon answered without looking up.
“You storm out of dinner last night, don’t come home until nearly six in the morning, and know you refuse to talk to KC. Do you consider this to be normal behavior?”
“Okay dad...” Landon rolled his eyes. “If you must know, I’m a little bit angry at my boyfriend right now for leaving me in the lion’s den all by myself last night. Scott is his fucking brother, and I had to deal with the verbal abuse.”
“So you’re not going to talk to him ever again because Scott went into total defensive shock, and KC had enough sense, unlike you, to not walk into the obvious danger zone?”
“You don’t know the half of it, alright, with your perfect relationship and the perfect woman for you. I hardly think you are in any position to judge or advise me.”
“Scarlett and I are anything but perfect. But when there’s a problem, we talk about it and try and work it out...why not just talk to KC? See what he has to say?”
“What could he possibly say to me?” Landon sat up, resting his weight on the back of his calves. “Oh wait, first I’ll be the bitch, the over dramatic, whining crybaby. Then he’ll apologize, not for what’s happened, but for belittling me. And we’ll make nice, pretending that the fight never happened. I’m just so sick of everything. I’m sick of how he punks out on everything I want to do! The man claims to love me but then refuses me the smallest things!”
“Good, this is good–what does he deny you that is making you so angry?”
“I say, ‘Let’s go out tonight, how about dinner and a movie?’. KC says ‘I’m too tired to go out–let’s order in and watch something here’. I’ll suggest a club perhaps: ‘KC, let’s go dancing, hear a live band,’. KC replies ‘I’m at clubs all the time for work and I’m tired, so let’s just have a quiet night at home,’. You’d think he was seventy nine and not twenty nine for as ‘tired’ as the man is all the time. Is it so wrong of me to want to go out on a fucking date every once in awhile? And do you know why he won’t take me out?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” Will sighed.
“KC is still in the closet, despite what he claims. We never go out because then people would see us together and know that we’re...oh don’t say it...GAY! He’s just what Scott said–ashamed. Ashamed of himself and of his homosexuality and me. And quite frankly I don’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret,” Landon explained quickly and heatedly.
“He went out to dinner last night didn’t he?”
“After I begged and pleaded, and fought, and when that didn’t work, I told him that if he didn’t come, I’d end it right then and there. He could still be the band’s manager and everything but I’d never look at or speak to him again.”
“Where’d you go last night?”
“Taylor’s. I feel asleep watching a movie with her in her room.”
“What is it with you and this girl? Do you two have some strange affair going on?”
“William, Taylor is a woman, and I’m gay, what do you think?” Landon retorted smartly.
“I’m only calling what I see...and what everyone else sees. The two of you are too close for only knowing one another less than a month,” Will reasoned.
“Oh, so what I can’t connect with a person and bond with them if I’m not fucking them, is that you’re saying?”
“What I’m saying is that you need to watch it. She’s already crazy about you–Landon, you should’ve seen how she lit up when you showed up last night. And the way you talk about her constantly,”
“Will, nothing is going on, okay? Taylor and I are just friends, nothing more.”
“You said you fell asleep in her bedroom...where in her bedroom?”
“We were laying in her bed.”
“Were you close together and farther apart?”
“What the hell does any of this..”
“Just, answer me okay?”
“We were together, I had my arms around her the covers were pulled up around us...”
“Cuddling.”
“She was upset...we were talking about relationships and her husband obviously came up and she started crying.”
“How did you fall asleep?”
“I was still holding her.”
“You were spooning?”
“I guess that’s one way to look at it...”
“And there’s nothing going on? You’re a terrible liar, Landon...what is so bad about admitting that you have feelings for this girl?”
“Because I don’t have feelings for her. Yes, she’s attractive, and yes, she makes me smile, and laugh...we have a good time. We’re friends,” Landon tried to explain in aggravation.
“So you are attracted to her!” Will pointed out triumphantly.
“Alright, fine, yes, I’m attracted to her. I’m attracted to her in a way I’ve not been attracted to women since I met Lana...she was the last girl I ever looked twice at and my attraction to Taylor beats out the attraction to Lana tenfold...happy now?”
“Landon, you need to be honest with yourself to find happiness...that’s all I wanted to point out,” Will told his friend seriously, then left Landon to his thoughts.