Dracula-Pepper, Jr. entered the small village. “I don’t know why I worry about blending in at night.” He said to himself. Everyone was wearing black capes and white clothes. “Hey! You!” A pushy voice said.
Dracula-Peper, Jr. turned. “Yes?”
“Are you looking for a job? ’Cause you’re the best damn looking Dracula I’ve seen!” “Huh?”
“Can’t you read? I’m a director and I’m looking for someone to play Dracula.” The director was stout and fat. He wore a hat to cover the bald spot on his head. “It is 1898, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“So, are ya in, or aren’t ya?”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. nodded. “Yeah, sure, I’m in. Who’s neck do I bite?” He grinned. The director chuckled. “Joleen’s.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. paused. “Is she pretty? I don’t want an ugly wife.” The director looked surprised.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. chuckled. “Just jokin’ with you. Trying to get into character.”

Joleen was around average height. She had dark red hair with occasional glints of bronze that came to her shoulders. Her eyes were a green-hazel color. Her full lips were painted a dark red. She was laying down in bed preparing for the scene when Dracula enters.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. slithered over to where Joleen was. He grinned with relief that Joleen had her head turned to the side. He leaned over to bite Joleen’s neck. He bit, she hit him.
“He bit my neck!” Joleen yelled holding her neck.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. yelped. “That’s what you told me to do!”
“Don’t bite my best lady! ...Not yet anyway...” The director said.
“Frank,” Joleen said. “It probably was an accident.” She gave Dracula-Pepper, Jr. a scathing look. “It better had been.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. continued to hold his jaw. “Oh, it was. I...uh...tripped over that carpet. Very easy to do. You might kill someone with that carpet.”
“Okay, let’s try this again!” Frank, the director, ordered.
Joleen grabbed the front of Dracula-Pepper, Jr.’s costume. “Look, you bite my neck again and I’ll kick your behind back to the villages. Understand?”
“Understand. No problem.”
This woman would be wild to tame. Dracula-Pepper, Jr. realized taming her could take a while. Maybe if he bit her neck at night, he’d be successful in turning someone into a vampire. Now if he could get rid of that pesky werewolf that always hid in the garden waiting for an unsuspecting pedestrian.
Joleen laid back down against the bed and pretended to be alseep.
“Now, let’s get this rehersal right!” Frank ordered.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. lurched over to Joleen. “Ah, Mina...” He murmered. He flung his cape over them.
“Curtain!” Frank called.
Dracula-Pepper-Jr. looked up. “What? No sucking sound? What kind of play is this?” “Sound effects come during the play.”
“Oh, I knew that.”

“So the play characters come in small, medium, and laa-aarr-geee...” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said seeing a janitor. The Janitor was hugely built. “You Dracula’s get weirder every year.” The Janitor droned.
“Dracula! Get your ass over here!” Frank said. “By the way, what’s your name?” “My name?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said. He turned pale. “I...errr...It’s Dracula!”
Frank groaned. “That’s a character name!”
“It’s a name. What’d you want me for?”
Frank thrust a bottle of red colored liquid into Dracula-Pepper, Jr.’s hands. “Here. Your ‘blood’.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. made a disgusted face.
“It’s not real!”
“Thank Goodness for that.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. ducked to avoid the mirror.
“You’re afraid of mirrors?”
“No. Just don’t like ’em.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. gave Frank a cheesy grin.

“What a strange character that actor who plays Dracula is.” Frank said.
Joleen looked over at him. “I think he’s kind of cute in a dark sort of way. I like ’em strange.”
“You liked the guy that played Frankenstien. You’re a Yankee too.”
“What’s that got to do with it, Limey?”
Frank looked at Joleen. She looked straight back at him. “Go get seduced by your Vampire.” Frank waved his hand.
Joleen fluttered past Dracula-Pepper, Jr. in her character’s nightgown. Dracula-Pepper, Jr. raised an eyebrow. “Dad always said the Yanks weren’t all that bad.” He trotted ahead so she’d “accidently” bump into him. He leaned against a pole, grinning. His fangs glistened in the light. As Joleen approached he heard a crack. “Oh no...” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said before the pole gave way. He fell into the ditch. The mud broke his fall. He sighed. “Some way to impress the ladies.”
Joleen looked down at him. “Are you alright?” She said. The first kind words she spoke.
“For a guy who landed in mud, fine!”
“Are you hungry?”
“Sort of. I think I’ll go have the casting director.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. grinned to show he was joking.
“Go eat a fly like your servent did.”
“I like something bigger.”
Joleen watched him. “Rehersal again is in a hour.”

Later that night…

Joleen undid the corset she had to endure. She sighed in relief when it was removed. “How could women wear those things?” She looked up and saw Dracula-Pepper, Jr. grinning at her from the window opposite her bedroom. She looked back at him. She went cross-eyed and stuck out her tounge at him. She finished changing as Dracula-Pepper, Jr. laughed.
“How did Dad change into a bat?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. tried to remember. “Eye of newt? Lizard gizard? Frog toes? No, that’s Aunt Helga’s recipie for dinner.” He stuck his arms out and tried to change into a bat. He groaned as he realized he had turned into a catipiliar. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried one more time. “Success!” He squeaked in a bat’s voice. He fluttered wobbily to Joleen’s room. Smack! He had hit the window and fluttered to the ground. Dracula-Pepper, Jr. slowly climbed up the drain pipe into the room.
Joleen was on her stomach reading. Mummy of the Tomb. Dracula-Pepper, Jr. made a mental note to see if he could borrow the book sometime. He turned back into his bat form to keep from being noticed. Joleen ignored the presence. Dracula-Pepper, Jr. perched himself behind her. “Why is it when Dad did this all the women were on their backs asleep? Times sure change.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. muttered to himself. He extended his fangs, preparing to drink Joleen’s blood. He didn’t like the idea much as he prepared.
Joleen moved.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. turned back into bat form as he felt her move.
Joleen looked up seeing the bat. She frowned at the bat as he flew towards the window.
She grabbed the slingshot she made from scratch, armed it with a comb and fired.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. looked up at the brick wall. “Ohhhhhhh, that fall is going to hurt come tomorrow.” He got up off the ground and quietly left the scene.
Dracul faced his younger brother. “Find some woman yet?” Dracul asked.
“What do you think?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. snapped.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
“You’re right.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. hunched on a stool. “I almost did it! She just found me. She was awake.”
“That one with the short dark hair?”
“Yeah, that’s her.”
“If you don’t take her, I will.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. stood up. “No, she’s mine. I saw her first.”
“Prove it lover boy!”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. mutated into a bat again and left the room.
“He’s doomed.” Dracul said.
Joleen was still on her stomach.
“Doesn’t she ever sleep?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. asked. He barged through the door.
“Haven’t you heard of knocking?” Joleen asked, slightly angry. She pulled the covers over her nightgown.
“Quite right. My appologies.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said. He walked out to the hall.
Knocked on the door and barged on in. “I was wondering if you could help me.” He said shutting the door.
“With what?” Joleen asked.
“My role.”
“What about it?”
“I need help with the blood sucking part.”
“You would not make a good politician.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. rolled his eyes. “How is it supposed to be done? Is the lady supposed to be lying on her back, or on her stomach?”
“The script says for Lucy and Mina to be asleep on their backs when Dracula comes in.”
Joleen demonstrated the position called for in the script.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. walked over. “I throw my cape over us and suck your blood?” “That’s what the script says.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. rubbed the back of his neck watching Joleen. “Can we reherse the scene?”
“If Frank catches us rehersing the scene at this hour we’ll both be gone! He’ll kick us both out of the play!”
“If we practice real quite like then he wouldn’t know.”
“Alright. Just one time.” Joleen held up her index finger driving the point home.
“One time.”
Joleen laid onto her back and pretended to be asleep. Her eyelids fluttered as Dracula-Pepper, Jr. threw his cloak over them. He forced himself to finish the act his father told him to do. “No biting...” Joleen muttered.

“How was it?” Dracul asked his younger brother the next morning.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. puked again into the chamber pot. “I told you I don’t like blood!”
Dracul laughed harshly. “Coward. Now you’ve got to finish the job.”
“Who says?”
“What? You want the ol’ werewolf to get her?”
“No.”
Dracul frowned at Dracula-Pepper, Jr. “That wasn’t blood, was it?”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. looked innocent. “I’m a vampire just like yourself. I’m just better looking.” He stuck out his chest.
Dracul dived for his brother knocking the both of them to the ground. Dracul looked down at his little brother. “Now, go and be a vampire like you’re supposed to be.”
“’Least I didn’t try to sneak out while it was still daylight!” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. shot back. “You always had those day-mares.”
Dracul pounced on his brother as the two began to wrestle.

“Why is it our actor who plays Dracula is always late?” Frank grumbled. “And where is Joleen?!”
Joleen lounged on her stomach continuing her story. The idea of a mummy being kept alive by magic tea leaves; and leaving the tomb facinated her. Even the main character was named Joleen. She began to read aloud.
“The mummy had risen from the tomb. It’s feet scraped across the rock floor. Scrape, scrape, drag. Scrape, scrape, drag. It inched closer to the farmer. It’s bandaged hands outstretched to the unsuspecting farmer’s neck. It latched onto his neck, strangling him of all his life...”
Joleen paused. “Why is it everyone falls for the monsters so easily?” She put the book aside as she flipped through a classical novel. The illustrations were of winged creatures. Some elegant, some terrifing. One of the vampires was elegant. It was an old victorian print. It looked like a elegant vampire was kissing a young victorian woman. The next picture showed a 14th century wood cut of a werewolf. The werewolf was holding onto a woman who was doing very little to protect herself. Almost as if she wanted to be captured by the werewolf.
Joleen began to think of Dracula-Pepper, Jr. “Oh, come on Joleen.” She scolded herself. “You’re not supposed to have improper thoughts about a man.”

That night…

Dracula-Pepper, Jr. scowled at his older brother. “Let me go, you big oaf! Untie me!”
Dracul didn’t bother to cast a glance at Dracula-Pepper, Jr. “Since you can’t be a vampire, I’ll take care of it for you.”
“No! I’ll do it this time! Really, I will.”
Dracul paused. “Very well. Fail this time and you’re going out in the sun! And no beet left overs in water to pretend you’ve drank anyone’s blood!”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. raced to the bedrooms once he had been set free. He let his fangs go as he found Joleen’s room. He knocked on the door.
“Come.” Joleen’s voice said.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. held his breath as he opened the door.
Joleen looked surprised holding the covers across her nightgown. “Dracula!”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. looked embarrassed. “I just came to see how you were.” He squeaked.
“I’m fine.” Joleen said. She jumped as thunder crashed outside. “I never liked the lightning.”
“It’s supposed to be one nasty storm. Do you want me to stay?”
“If you want, I guess.”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. grinned to himself. He plopped down on the bed next to Joleen. “How’s the novel you’re reading.”
“It’s scary at times.”
“Do you need a handsome hero to protect you?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. stuck out his chest.
“I’ll protect you, fair maden.”
Joleen tried not to laugh.
“I won’t disturb you. Pretend like I’m not even here.”
Joleen turned back onto her stomach and continued to read her novel. She almost forgot Dracula-Pepper, Jr. was even there. He silently made his way over to Joleen. He came up behind her and gently took her shoulders. He worked his way down to her arms until she kicked him off her. “You’re a vampire!” She yelled at him.
“What makes you say that?” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. asked. He grinned. Once he realized his fangs were showing he shut his mouth shut quickly.
“You only come out at night and you just tried to suck my blood!”
“I did not!”
“Hey! Must you two always sound like you’re married?” Frank’s voice called through the door.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. covered Joleen’s mouth to keep her from screaming. “Sorry!” He yelled to Frank. He turned his attention back to Joleen. “Don’t scream. Okay, so I am a vampire. No carrot is safe in Translvania.”
Joleen raised an eyebrow. “Carrots? Don’t vampires suck blood?”
“I don’t like blood.”
“You’re not much of a vampire then.”
“Jeeze, you’re worse than my own mother!”
“Well, creature of the night, aren’t you going to suck my blood?”
“No.”
“I will.” Dracul voulnteered.
“She’s mine, you idiot!” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. snapped. He gathered Joleen up in his arms. He raced for the door dragging Joleen behind him. “I’m in my night clothes!” Joleen protested.
Dracul began to follow in persuit.

Joleen looked around the graveyard abbey Dracula-Pepper, Jr. had taken her to. “The villagers here will try to hunt me. They’ll kill me.”
“What about the other one?”
“Dracul. He’ll make you his bride for all eternity! I want him to be the one to be staked.”
A bat calmly fluttered past them. “Children of the night.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said. “They do make a mess.”
Joleen looked out the window. “Speaking of Frank and those villagers. Here they come!”
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. took Joleen behind an old piano. They heard Dracul barge into the small abbey. Dracul saw a coffin and went to investigate.
Frank and angry villagers began to storm the abbey. “Kill the vampire!” Voices yelled. Dracul ducked inside the coffin in hopes of the villagers wouldn’t find them. Angry voices caused Joleen and Dracula-Pepper, Jr. to cram themselves further into their hiding place. There!” Frank’s voice said pointing to the coffin. He held a stake in his hand and a wooden mallet. “Be gone blood sucker!” Frank yelled bringing the mallet down. “Frank, that’s his gut. Aim higher.” A villager said.
“Oh.” Frank drove the stake through Dracul’s heart. Dracul jumped up preparing to fight. Frank drew his cross and watched the shadow spread across Dracul’s body.
Dracul began to wither into ashes and die. “Now, lets go down to the pub and get some drinks!”
Joleen cast a glance at Dracula-Pepper, Jr. He grinned. “You know, I’ve always wondered what it was like being a creature of the night. You’re the first vampire I met. And a vegetation no less!”
“I can bite your neck and you’ll find out.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said.
“Are you sure?”
“Why not? I’ll still prefer vegetables.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. leaned over brushing Joleen’s hair away. “Are you going to throw out your in-laws, my parents?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Yes!!” He leaned over biting Joleen’s neck.

Dracula-Pepper, Jr. looked up to see Joleen knitting. “Is it a sweater?”
“Sort of. Joleen held her project up. It was pajamas for a baby. The pajamas had six pants legs and four sleeves.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr.’s jaw hit the ground. “You’re serious? You mean—us and a little one?”
“Speaking of which, here it comes.”

The next night…

“Awwwwwwww...What a cute little...errrr...thing it is.” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. cooed. “It’s half vampire and half human.” The midwife who was a witch said. “It’s a they. Twins.”
“Boys or girls? Or both? Where’s the second twin?”
The witch pointed to the ceiling. “Up there.”
“Hey, they aren’t supposed to do that until the terrible two’s. Get down from there, baby.”
The baby girl bared her fangs at her father.
“Hey, hey! Don’t bare your fangs to your daddy at this young age. ...Wait until you’re sixteen. Better get you down before you hurt someone.”
The baby continued to keep her back pressed to the ceiling.
“What is this? The terrible two days? Off!”
Joleen entered seeing the baby girl on the ceiling. “Dear! Get her off that ceiling! She’ll hurt someone!”
“Don’t make me come up there!” Dracula-Pepper, Jr. said.
“You don’t know anything about children.” The witch said. “Now get your little behind down here this instant!” The witch ordered. The baby calmly slid down the wall.
Dracula-Pepper, Jr. raised an eyebrow. “Kids.”
Joleen leaned against Dracula-Pepper, Jr. “We no longer have to worry about that werewolf. Our boy ate it. He has quite an appitite. He’s too much like his father.”
“Hey! I heard that!”

THE END