Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Jagged Little Pill
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Sister Blister
Sister Blister
you and me we're cut from the same cloth
it seems to some we famously get along
but you and me are strangers to each other
cuz you and me:competitive to the bone
such tragedy to trample on each other with how much we've endured
with the state this land is in
you and me feel joined by only gender
we are not all for one and one for all
sister blister we fight to please the brothers
we think their acceptance is how we win
they're happy we're climbing over each other
to beg the club of boys to let us in
you and me estranged from the mother
you and me have felt impotent in our skin
you and me have taken it out on each other
you and me disloyal to the feminine
such a pity to disavow each other with how far we've come
with how strong we've been
you and me are on this pendulum together
you and me with scarcity still fueling
sister blister we fight to please the brothers
we think their acceptance is how we win
they're happy we're climbing over each other
to beg the club of boys to let us in
we may not have priorities same
we may not even like each other
we may not be hugely anti-men
but such a cost to dishonor a sister
you and me have made it harder for the other
we forget how hard separatism has been
you and me we can help change their minds together
you and me in alignment until the end
sister blister we fight to please the brothers
we think their acceptance is how we win
they're happy we're climbing over each other
to beg the club of boys to let us in
Fear of Bliss
my misery has enjoyed company
I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted
sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true
fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true
this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down
I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining
sometimes I feel this is too good to be true
Utopia
we'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts
we would stay and respond and expand and include and
This is utopia this is my utopia
we'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast
we would share and listen and support and welcome be
we'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be
we'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we
this is utopia this is my utopia
Bent 4 U
you're unsure and you're not ready so that must mean I
a million times in a million ways I will try to change
I have waited for you and adjusted for you and I'm done
you're too young or you're too old or you're simply
several times in several ways I'll try to squeeze love
I have bent for you and I've deprived for you
it won't be long before I am reclaimed
you're afraid of every woman afraid of your inner workings
a million times and a million ways I've tried to alter to match you
You Owe Me Nothing In Return
I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will
You can express your deepest of truths even if it
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
A Man
I am a man as a man I've been told
And I have been blamed
I am man who has grown from a son
And I have been shamed
we don't fare well with endless reprimands
I am a man who still does what he can
Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented
Precious Illusions
you'll rescue me right?
you'll complete me right?
but this won't work now the way it once did
these precious illusions in my head did not let me
this ring will help me yet
but this won't work as well as the way it once did
these precious illusions in my head did not let me
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
Flinch
What's it been over a decade?
What are you my blood?
How long can a girl be shackled to you
Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city
What are you my god?
How long can a girl be tortured by you?
So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing
What are you my kin?
do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
these are 21 things that I want in a lover
do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like
freedom?
these are 21 things that I want in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
are you uninhibited in bed?
...curious and communicative...
Narcissus
Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into
And any talk of healthiness
(why why do I try to love you
Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
And any talk of selflessness
(why why do I try to help you try to help you
You go back to the women who will dance the dance
Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you
And any talk of willingness
(why why do I try to change you try to
You go back to the women who will dance the dance
and although I have ached
I don't threaten anybody
sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you
sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to
I've tried roadblocks and all
my happy endings prevented
I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do
fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)
I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom
but that could be boring
I sabotage myself for fear of losing you
under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone
sounds isolating
I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do
engage in dialogue
we'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without
fear disagree sans judgement
allow and forgive and
enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept
and admit and divulge and
open and reach out and speak up
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate
down into safety nets
propelled by passion not
invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and
amused by difference
be gentle and make room for every emotion
heard we'd all feel seen
would heal be humbled
and be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know
when to do which we'd
release and disarm and stand up and feel safe
this is my ideal my end in sight
utopia this is my utopia
this is my nirvana
my ultimate
want you
you're unavailable and disinterested and to you I look
for comfort
you
a million months and a million days I'll try to
somehow convince you
I have deferred to you and enabled you and I'm done
not inclined
you're asleep or you're withholding be that my cue to
crave you
from you
several hours and several ways I'll feast on scraps
thrown from you
and I'm done
I have depressed for you and contorted for you
and I'm done
I have stifled for you and I've compromised for you
and I'm done
I have silenced for you and sacrificed for you and
I'm done
it won't take long and I'll be on path again
it won't be easy for us to disengage
I'm at the end of self deprivation stage
you cringe at the thought of living under the same roof as me god and everything
several times every several days I've tried to uncrush on you
if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that
you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak
outs and I'll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of
times in your life and I won't judge it
(and there are no strings attached to it)
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return
and I'll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and
you'll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else
and I'll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and
I'll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return
eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will
force you to cough up
I bet wonder how far you have now danced you way back
into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that
there really is
means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss
I'll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your
passion I'll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis
and I'll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return
Bacon is brought to the house in this mold
Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord
Years I have groveled repentance ignored
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
Been crucified by enraged women
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among
And I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And I have been shamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
we don't do well with a life served as a sentence
this won't work well if you're hell bent on your
offence
I am a man who understands your reticence
to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And we have been blamed and we have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
in the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right?
when your healing powers kick in
then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right?
only when you realize the gem I am?
and I won't keep it up even though I would love to
once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
down when I was defenseless
and parting with them is like parting with invisible
best friends
as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet
as will these boys gone through like water
cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim
down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with a childhood
best friend
I've spent so much time living in survival mode
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago
We only influenced each other totally
We only bruised each other even more so
You touch me like you are my blood
What are you my dad?
You affect me like you are my dad
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
How long can a girl stay haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
My brother saw you somewhere downtown
I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again
You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin?
You affect me like you are my twin
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
And how long can a girl be haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in
This man knows not of how this information has affected me
But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in
You touch me like you are my kin
What are you my air?
You affect me like you are my air
do you not play dirty when engaged in
competition?
do you have a big intellectual capacity
but know that it alone does not
equate wisdom?
do you see everything as an illusion?
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
are you both masculine and feminine?
politically aware?
and don't believe in capital
punishment?
not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
are you funny?
self-deprecating?
like adventure?
and have many formed
opinions?
not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
these are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
there are no worries and certainly no pressure
in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow
more than three times a week?
up for being experimental?
are you athletic?
are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
are you not addicted?
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really
apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman
conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door
Try to love you when you really don't want me
To)
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting
everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door
When you really don't want me to)
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to
Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who
doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door
Try to change you when you really don't
Want me to)
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe