Walter Sobchak's Jewish Wisdom

Donny: How come you don't roll on Saturday Walter?

Walter Sobchak: I'm Shomer Shabbos.

Donny: What's that Walter?

Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fuckin' ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit

[shouts]

Walter Sobchak: Don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!

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Walter Sobchak: I'm as Jewish as fuckin' Tevye!

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Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...

The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about?

The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic...

Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!

The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Walter Sobchak: And you know this!

The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.

Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?

The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.

Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax...

[Shouting]

Walter Sobchak: You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!