Johnny Depp goes commercial; makes big splash. This could be the headline of any entertainment article since last year’s Pirates of the Caribbean. The former 21 Jump Street and Edward Scissorhands star is Hollywood’s current Flavor of the Month, and Secret Window is the perfect movie to foster this title. Secret Window is a tired cliché of a suspense/horror movie, with the most cliché of ending “twists,” and a villain with a comical southern drawl whose scariest line is “You stole my storeeee!” On the plus side though, Johnny Depp delivers a performance riddled with his trademark quirks, which ultimately helps Secret Window from becoming a complete disaster.
Depp plays Mort Rainey, a successful short-story writer who is living in recluse in his Alabama home after catching his wife (Maria Bello) in bed with another man (played by Oscar-winner Timothy Hutton) and subsequently splitting with her. Mort’s life of being lethargic, loathing the housekeeper, and munching on Dorritos comes to an end when a local man named John Shooter accuses Mort of plagiarizing one of his stories: “Secret Window.” Shooter isn’t some obsessed fan though, as Rainy soon realizes when his dog is murdered. Things quickly spin out of control though, and things in movies always seem tend do.
As a starring vehicle for Johnny Depp, Secret Window is very successful. It gives Depp a chance to deliver wry little quips and be all...Depp-esque. But Johnny Depp mugging for the camera doesn’t do anything for the lousy script, filled with every cliche known to man. Not to mention a bad guy who is more comical than scary. Yeah, I am soooooo frightened of a hillbilly who looks like he just raided an Amish closet and is terrorizing an author about...[gasp] plagiarism! Come on Hollywood, haven’t you got ANYTHING better than this?
Grade: C-
© 2004 Jacob Sproul 2004
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