Bad Eggs Quotes

• Joyce: "It's an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy." Buffy: "But...I looked good in it." Joyce: "You looked like a streetwalker." Buffy: "But a thin streetwalker." Joyce: "..." Buffy: "That's probably not gonna' be the winning argument, is it?"

• Lyle: "Well ain't you just got the prettiest little neck I ever did see."
• Buffy: "Boy, you guys really never come up with any new lines, do you?"

• Buffy: "But you promised you'd never cheat on me again, honey."

• Mr. Whitmore: "Now how many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by, uh, unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings?"
• Xander: "Yes. Mm-hmm."
• Mr. Whitmore: "Uh, that was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll."

• Mr. Whitmore: "With all sorts of hormones surging through your bodies, compelling you to action, it's often difficult to remember that are negative consequences to having sex. Would anyone care to offer one such consequence?"
• Cordelia: "Well, that depends. Are you talking about sex in the car or out of the car, because I have a friend -- not me -- that was in a Miata and parked at the top of a hill, and she kicked the gear shift, and..."

• Xander: "You wanna' talk negative consequence, what about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean, a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing, the bloom is definitely off the rose."

• Cordelia: "Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the Hoover technique is a big turn-on."

• Xander: "What about having the feign interest in her vapid little chit-chat just so you could get some touch?"

• Buffy: "Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?"
• Xander: "I think the word you're searching for is 'absent'."
• Willow: "Tardy people show."

• Buffy: "As far as punishments go, this is fairly abstract."
• Willow: "No, it's your baby!"
• Buffy: "'Kay, I get it even less."

• Xander: "You gotta' keep it safe and teach it Christian values."
• Willow: "My egg is Jewish."
• Xander: "Okay, teach it that Dreidel song."

• Buffy: "I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally. I sat on it and it broke."

• Buffy: "I'm a single mother?"
• Xander: "No man of her own."
• Buffy: "Do you know what this says about me? That I'm doomed to lead my mother's life. How deeply scary is that?"

• Giles: "They made their reputation by massacreing an entire Mexican village in 1886."
• Buffy: "Friendly little demons."
• Giles: "It was before they became vampires."

• Joyce: "Are you sure your egg is secure in that?"
• Buffy: "Did I ask for back seat mommying?"

• Buffy: "I didn't sleep well."
• Joyce: "What's the matter? Your egg keep you up all night?"
• Buffy: "You're killing me. Parenting's a pain."
• Joyce: "Wait 'til it starts dating."

• Xander: "Apparently, Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. You. Angel. Big. Smoochies?"
• Buffy: "Shut. Up."

• Willow: "It didn't break! How come it didn't break?"
• Xander: "Which is another secret to conscientious egg care: pot of scalding water and about eight minutes."
• Willow: "You boiled your young?"
• Xander: "Yeah, I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta' be cruel to be kind. I mean, you can bet that little Xander here is thick-skinned now."

• Willow: "Are they getting weirder? You notice the weirdness of them?"
• Buffy: "They're weird."

• Willow: "Angel's helping you, right?" Buffy: "He does what he can."

• Buffy: "I figured there were all sorts of things vampires can't do. You know, like...work for the telephone company, or volunteer for the Red Cross, or...have little vampires."

• Xander: "Can I just say, 'Gyughhh!!!'?"
• Buffy: "I see your 'Gyughhh' and raise you a 'Nyaghhh!!!'"

• Joyce: "Bristow's Demon Index? Hell's Offspring?"
• Giles: "A...hobby of mine, uh, but, uh, having nothing to do with Buffy in any way."

• Willow: "Did I really hit you?"
• Xander: "You knocked me out."
• Cordelia: "Did I hit you?"
• Xander: "Yes, everyone hit me."
• Cordelia: "Good. Well, I don't mean 'good' because I hate you, but...I didn't want to be left out."