From the first moment that I have owned a modem, my handle has been Dream Weaver.  At the time I considered myself Christian; not really going to church but I believed in Christ and the bible.  Why did I pick this handle?  I will not lie, I have always loved the song by Gary Wright with the same title.....but along with the song, I have always loved the darkness, the mystical and the celestial.  I never really knew why I loved these things, but I am most comfortable when surrounded by them.   I have always talked to the moon...this may sound strange but to me it has a calming affect.  The name, Dream Weaver, just seemed to fit in with these things.   As time went on, I was becoming more and more skeptical in Christianity, wondering why I would want to believe in a religion which I felt was based on fear and guilt. (lets not forget money)  I could also not accept some of the things that had been done in the name of Christianity. so........In the meantime, I was working as a Registered Nurse, as was my husband.  We both worked for the same company.  We were both on the IV team in a Home care setting.  We saw some terminal patients who had epidural catheters for pain control......by now you are probably asking what this has to do with our/my beliefs?  Well, in a span of one month, we had four patients, all in their late thirties, with families, dying horrid painful deaths.  These men were all Christian church -goers.  At this point my Husband, Brian , and I, had to ask ourselves what kind of God would let people suffer in such a way..... We wanted nothing to do with this God, this bible, this "Lord". I decided that I would believe in nothing except myself and my family.  Brian started to read about Wicca and visiting Pagan sites on the web.  He would talk about it at times but it was something that I was not ready for.  I even wondered why it is Human nature to "have to belong" to a religion......... Well, then something happened....I picked up a magazine which Brian had brought from a pagan bookstore.   As I was leafing through it, I realized that people felt the same as I did.   They believed in nature, themselves, and that Gods and Godesses are not some old beings in the skies which need to feared, rather that Gods and Godesses are what we make them and they surround us everywhere..  They believed that people should not be oppressed by society; that sex can be a beautiful thing and should be celebrated.  I was amazed that there was actually a name for the way I felt and that there were others just like me!!!  So, here I am. A pagan.  I will not put down Christianity or people who believe in it.  Many people find great Joy in their faith(Christianity).  I know it is not for me.   One thing I do find offensive is that I have noticed many Christians are intolerant of people who do not have the same views as themselves.  I have posted in forums (homeschooling forums) that we are non-christian, which  always brings a flurry of emails containing such phrases as "Jesus loves you" or we "hope you find Jesus"..and so on...First, why would I want to find Jesus, I am not looking for him!!...I am  still trying to figure out why these people find it necessary to force these phrases on me....maybe someday i will figure it out..... This brings me to sensorship.....My page is banned by Cybersitter......evidently the people who created "Cybersitter" need to educate themselves a little better as to what Paganism is before they consider it a satanic cult.  Pagans are not Satanists!!  It is time to educate yourselves, People!!  Stop believing everything that Hollywood tells you!!   Stop believeing that a five point star, a pentagram, pentacle are the sign of the Devil....If these closed-minded people would take the time to open their eyes, they would realize that the pentacle signifies something so special to us........ok, that was my little venting section. Now, what does this all really mean to me?  This is an awareness of myself, of my family, my surroundings, nature.  It is a happiness and a peacefulness which I have not felt for a long time, if ever.  Am I concerned that I will burn in hell when I die or be struck down by God himself in the form of a lightning bolt? NO!!...I do not believe in the Christian God, therefore I do not believe in Satan, I do not believe in heaven, nor hell. If I am struck by lightning it will be because I am outside in a lightning storm in Tampa, FL. If you took the time to read this, I do appreciate it.  If you are Pagan or Wiccan you will also understand that some of these views are sometimes difficult to put into words to make others understand.  If I didnt make sense at times, this is the reason why....