NOT Necessarily THE NEWS
NEWS THAT IS NOT PUBLICIZED WIDELY BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MAKE MONEY
The Viewpoint Expressed below may not be that of the establishment or anyone else. We are always welcoming unpublicized news of any worth or no worth what so ever of any level of truthfulness at any time...including sarcasm or humor.
Recently in response to the current political state of affairs president Clinton has been awarded the Unzipped Award and Paula Jones the Bud Ugly Award. Monica Lewinsky's response to the awards was "I am sincerely in love with the only two men I ever loved just because they were both married and one fled state to get away from me does not set a trend in my behavioral patterns.
According to an obscure article written in about 1985 the prediction on the number of lawyers to the general populus was one civilian to 100 lawyers...excuse me it was one lawyer to 100 civilians...hey Larry fire that secretary who mistyped this...it also said that lawsuits would show a marked decline in number and expense and irrationality. The Centers for Law and Law schools have responded to this by increasing the number of accepted applicants and the number who pass the school exams and boards to ensure there would be plenty to meet the demands...Hey Larry I do not remember reading that...oh it does not sell..hey we are not about selling news we are about being truthful...oh ok...this is a political issue...excuse me I rescind the last comments as this is a biased commentary sponsored by..........
It has been recently determined that the direct structures of the numerous palaces produced by President Saddam were not meant to house mass weapons of destruction like chemical warfare chemicals that will melt your body upon contact, Nuclear which will vaporize your body upon contact, or Biologicals which will make you bleed to death through all your orafices but actually they were designed for the upcoming expected to be accepted to the Olympics roller speed skating. Originally President Saddam had intended to import equipment for putting in ice skating rinks but a false accuser claimed it would be used for NBC capabilities so he had to accept roller skating to replace ice skating rinks. President Saddam is said to be severely disapointed as his major interest since childhood in a desert country was to experience the smooth cool surface of an icerink.
Recently the Arab countries decided since the president of the United States had shown a weakened stance they would go outside of this area and work directly with the U.N. as they are currently concerned about world financial markets, weapons of mass destruction, overpopulation and President Saddams taking over the world roller skating markets.
Recently it was found that even though Gulf War syndrome is contagious upon intimate contact and that a probably 50% of the military is considered to be carrying it that the general civilian populus does not have to worry about contracting it as the population is isolated to those in intimate contact with the mass of the military such as Drill Sargeants. Once again an unauthorized authority would like to state once again that there is no abuse of power or favoriticism in the military. And young people have no reason to be concerned about contracting Gulf War Syndrome upon entering the military if they stay away from Drill Sargeants.
It was recently discovered that there is a strong correlation in the definition of being noble in regards to death and situations of death. As stated and asked by our reporters:
"How do you feel about the person who just killed a medical doctor and seven special clinic patients?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"How do you feel about the millions of people who were sent off to the war to contract gulf war syndrome and all the people of Iraq who were killed in the Gulf War conflict ten years ago.
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"How do you feel about the millions of young 18 and 19 year olds who were sent off to the war to die by the hundreds of thousands in Vietnam?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently an educators paper stated that according to the vast amount of historical information the cause of war is usually based on an increase world population. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently an educators paper stated that accordint to the vast amount of historical information the cause of plagues is usually based on an increase of world population. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently an educators paper stated that according to the stock market because of a failure of world crops if you invested in grains or food markets your value of your stock has tripled or quadrupled. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"According to our undisclosed sources the military has been used for many years for experimental purposes which many companies have found a way to charge for the experiments. For example for ten years when it was illegal a company sold irradiated food to the military (who usually threw it away, did not eat it, had children who with birth defects, had severe health problems associated with consuming large quantities of irradiated foods, the food was not legally allowed to be consumed more than once a day and was fed often twice or more a day to them) and then at the end of the ten years was able to make it legal to irradiate food so it would have a longer storage and shelf life (even though all food looses energy and vitamin content while in storage). Recently the irradiated food commissions have been requesting the ability to make irradiated food lables less conspicuous. What is your view point about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"About ten years ago an obscure report was released that stated that military personelle and their children were being subjected to using drugs that were not approved by the F.D.A. but were still being sold to be used or used and prescribed by military personelle. For example the L.S.D. studies. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently on the internet it was release that a group of researchers had been working on a live virus Ebola vaccine using military volunteers. The research was recently removed from the internet and cannot be found anywhere because they had an outbreak of plague where people were bleeding internally and having broken bones in the military a majority being new recruits in thier late teens and early twenties. The public was not made aware of this fact until recently. It has since been attributed to Gulf War Syndrome not Ebola. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
According to undisclosed sources the military was used as live subjects to determine the affects of Nuclear Warfare prior to the use of Nuclear weaponry in Japan. Many suffered the affects even after such affects had been determined upon live lab specimens. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"According to all references plague is often spread through water sources during times of high overpopulation and associated water contamination. Many larger cities have had their water systems polluted by uncurable plague organisms and have not told thier citizens or anyone who has visited to such places as replacement of such ancient systems would be expensive and they might be liable to law. Only the city of Milwakee (where 104 people died very shortly afterwards) who improved their entire water system with ozonization and filteration publicized their outbreak which was not covered in the new but only on educational television. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"It was found recently that at least three out of four clinic protestors were not actively involved in unwed mother programs. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently it was reported very briefly that the overpopulation in China has the people of China rationed to one bowl of rice per person per day and that Britan is having a fertility problem so much so that they are having to import eggs from other countries. America has volunteered to do such to help Britan be greater...or is that to help Greater Britan...hey Larry you need to fire that...oh excuse me...What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently it has been proposed that if the money Kenneth Star had the U.S. misspend on persecuting...hey Larry that is suppose to be prosecuting isn't it? Oh yeah...recently it has been proposed that if the tax payers money that Kenneth Star has had spent on persecuting the First Family had been spent in other ways we might not have the number of homeless FAMILIES increasing in the United States CURRENTLY. What is your viewpoint about that?"
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
"Recently it has been proposed that the economic state of the world if something as severe as the year 2000 computer virus that is passing through the internet strikes all major computer dependent centers that total anarchy and Armageddon will begin. What is your viewpoint about that?
"I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child. Hey do you know where I got the information for the bombs I made? Off the internet...Isn't it great there is no censorship on the internet. I also got the information for the atomic bomb I am using to hold the U.S. hostage for my cause. Incidentally I do not have time to get involved with the unwed shelters. I was just wondering what cause is it that I am supporting anyway...but anyways I feel elated. I believe no one has the right to kill an innocent child."
It was recently discovered that Kenneth Star is not only a lawyer he is also a Republican who won the Advance the Republicans and Yourself Year Award by the Centers for Public News Broad Casting. An additional certificate was given for helping raise the viewership ratings of the long dead news who has nothing of anyworth to say or contribute to the world such as the above nonfactual mentioned content.
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