Tracy's mother Alicia had gotten involved with a married man. She had a bit of a drinking problem but was still very young and very attractive. He was a powerful man, an attractive man, and a family man with a voracious appetite for sex. When Alicia was young she had to get out and help the family while going to school. She worked and went to school often falling asleep in Highschool. After she finished Highschool with poor grades she became a cocktail waitress then eventually a bartender at a nightclub. There she met Tony Sceracini whom she was not aware was married and also a part of the Mafia.

         Eventually Alicia found she was pregnant and Tony who had promised to marry her put her up in an apartment away from everyone so no one would know. He had promised to marry her for awhile so finally she confronted him

         "I can't marry you honey because I never got divorced. We kind of sort of live apart but I stay there every now and then for the sake of the children." Tony told Alicia.

         For awhile she was satisfied with what he told her. Eventually she went in his wallet and found his address. She drove over one day found a nice place to park the car and found an indiscreet place to watch from. Out walked Tony kissed his wife goodbye on the lips, hugged his kids and went off to whatever it was he did for work.

         Alicia had quit drinking while she was pregnant for the sake of the baby. She was about six months along now. Too late to terminate which since Tony was Roman Catholic he would not let her do when they discussed. She stopped and picked up a bottle of gin.

         That afternoon Tony stopped by. Alicia was hanging over the tub throwing up.

         He asked, "What's wrong? You need to go to the doctor I can make you an appointment and call the cab." Then he walked into the livingroom and found the half-empty bottle of gin. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed her. "What are you doing drinking? You said you would quit for the sake of the baby. You know this is not good for the baby. What do you want a deformed or damaged baby? You know about fetal alcohol syndrome. What you want a stupid baby? A sick baby? A baby that is not capable of thinking?"

         She looked at him and began crying.

         He picked her up and carried her to the bed. Got a wash cloth and cleaned her up. Got her some food. When she was asleep he went home.

         Tony came by the next day to check on her. Alicia had one horrible hangover and was still nauseated but had managed to get up and take care of herself, eat a little bit. Tony had poured out the rest of the gin so she would not have any more temptation.

         He asked, "What's your problem? I thought we had an agreement. No more drinking."

         Alicia looked at him and said, "I went to your home and saw you with your family and wife. Looks pretty cozy to me. What are you doing going out with me when you have a family then telling me you are getting a divorce?"

         "I can't get divorced. I am Roman Catholic. I was separated when I met you and we decided to get back together for the sake of the children. They were missing me and you know it's not good for boys to not have a role model around."

         "You told me you were getting a divorce otherwise I would never have gotten involved with you."

         "I can't."

         "Why?"

         "Because I am Mob Mafia M A F I A...you get it? It's an arranged marriage. If I get a divorce I am dead because she's my bosses daughter. It does not matter if she is a fat lazy pig and cheats on me when I am gone. She use to be pretty and nice or I guess I did not notice she was not nice. But she is the mother of my children; the daughter of my relatives who can have me annihilated. What am I supposed to do? You want me dead or something?" Tony ran out of the apartment and did not come back for a week.

         When he came back he came with a moving truck and boxes. He said, "Pack your stuff my wife knows about you. I'm going to move you to another city."

         So they packed up and moved. Eventually Tony rarely came around. She started drinking heavily again hoping she would miscarry. He wasn't there for the birth of his daughter but he called on the phone from a pay phone where his wife would not find out.

         There was something wrong with the baby. She had water on the brain and they were afraid she would die. She had seizures occasionally. They needed to do an emergency operation to reduce the pressure on the baby's brain because she might be brain damaged. Tony came and he helped Alicia decide to let them operate.

         Tony went back to the apartment to get some things for Alicia. He found some bottles in the bedroom. He went back to the hospital. They had a fight and he never came back again, never sent her any more money, never called to check on Tracy.

         Eventually Alicia went back to bartending. She could not find anyone to watch Tracy who survived her operation but had seizures occasionally. So she packed up all of Tracy's things and took her to her sister who had married at age 13 who had several children and lived in the mountains with her redneck husband. She said, "I'll send you money when I have some extra. Her dad is not good for anything but if you contact him maybe he will send some money for her."

         Tracy grew up with seven cousins in the back woods. Whatever money her poor aunt and uncle got from her father and mother was divided up amongst eight children and two adults. Tracy never drank milk, as they could not afford it. Her clothes were ill fitting but she was turning into a child who looked like she was from Ethiopia. Then one day a man came to the house. He was her mother's brother.

         Aunt Ruby said, "This is your Uncle Ray. He is going to take you with him and your younger sister Jillie. Now you be good for him because your momma and your daddys have forgotten about you and haven't been sending any money for you to live on. We have it hard enough and Uncle Ray is retired from the military soon. He has a good income and can take care of the two of you.

         Jillie and Tracy when they went to live with Uncle Ray had things they had never had before. They drank cow's milk for the first time in their life. They had dolls, toys, nice clothes from the stores many new and never been worn before. The two girls adored and loved Uncle Ray who just doted on them. One day Uncle Ray came home with a nice young woman who was very pretty. He told the girls "If you like her I would like to marry her. She's a good church going girl."

         The woman looked around at what Uncle Ray had. She was pretty but you could tell she did not come from anyone who had any money. Even though her clothing was clean it was a bit worn. She smiled at the pretty little girls and was very nice to them.

         Uncle Ray married Miss Lizzy. She was very good to them and took good care of the house. One day Miss Lizzy found out she was going to have a baby. A few months later she bent over and picked up something and began bleeding. Uncle Ray had to take her to the hospital. Ms. Lizzy stayed in the hospital a long time. Eventually Uncle Ray brought her home.

         Miss Lizzy began to have Uncle Ray beat the little girls. He would take them into the bedroom and pretend to hit them with the belt.

         She would yell at him and say, "If those girls had been better behaved I would not have lost our baby. I would still be able to have a child. You need to make them behave." Often she would rant and rave about how dirty and old the house was so Uncle Ray went back to work so he could afford to buy her a new house. She nagged and complained and whined until one day poor old Uncle Ray just gave up the ghost. On that day things got worse because no longer were they pretending to be hit by a belt in the bedroom Ms. Lizzy began hitting them with a belt.

         By the time Tracy was fifteen she made up her mind she had enough. She knocked down Ms. Lizzy then packed up her bag and walked out the door. Over her shoulder she yelled as she went out the door, "If I ever hear tell you hit my sister again I'll be back and I will do more than knock you down." All those years of being fed well by Uncle Ray had made her into a strong healthy young girl.

         Tracy was a very beautiful young looking fifteen-year-old. She walked down to the highway and stuck out her thumb. Eventually a wildly colored van pulled over with a bunch of people in it and one asked, "Where are you headed?"

         She replied "Anywhere but here."

         So she hopped in. She eventually was living with a bunch of illegal drug smugglers. They brought it in across the border from Mexico in Refrigerator boxes stuck in the middle of other shipments. She had photos of herself sitting in large boxes of marijuana. She did not smoke cigarettes when she met them or marijuana. Eventually she was smoking pot, drinking, and smoking cigarettes.

         One day they took her out with them to a bar where girls danced. She was fascinated with how much money they made and she was tired of living with all these people who were always so out of their mind with drugs. A very attractive man came down and sat with them. Asked, "Who is the new girl?" While they switched a package for some money under the table.

         Oh she is just some young girl we picked up on the side of the road.

         He looked at her and asked, "Can you dance?"

         She looked down a bit shyly and said, "Oh I do not know I do not even have a chest."

         He looked at her and asked, "How old are you?"

         Tracy replied, "Sixteen."

         He asked, "Do you know you can go to jail for being in here under age. Would you like an identification card so you can go places like this without any trouble?"

         She looked at him and replied, "Yes."

         So he looked at her figured she was probably a virgin and said, "Come out on the floor and dance for me. You do not have to take off your clothes just dance and I will get you one."

         She looked around and everyone encouraged her so she got up and danced.

         Then he took her in the back took a photo. Said come back Saturday and I will have it for you.

         By the end of the month Tracy was living with this man and working as a dancer. His name was Victor.

         Tracy lived in another room in a house with Victor. Sometimes he would not come home. She began dancing at the club. She did not know what she was doing she just made money mainly because she was so innocent. Victor made sure she always got home and was watched. She was one of the main draws at his father's club so he wanted to make sure she did not fall in love with anyone and leave especially not some young military man.

         Victor had an accident in a car a couple years later and got a large settlement. He noticed that Tracy was spending a great deal of time with a young man in the military, laughing and smiling alot he decided he needed to do something about that.

         One day Tracy walked in and he was shooting up something. She looked at him and asked, "What is that?" he said oh it will make you feel really good and he talked her into trying it. That night Tracy lost her virginity.

         Victor died a few months later from an overdose. He had used his settlement from the car accident to have a pharmaceutical company knocked over because it was cheaper than buying opiates off the streets. His father fired Tracy blaming her for his opiate addiction.

         Tracy quit shooting up occasionally. Her epilepsy got worse from the cigarette smoking, drinking, partying and illegal drug abuse. She had never finished Highschool so she was limited as to what she could do and afford. Eventually she got so burnt out on men while stripping that she was gay for awhile. She had a nice house until her drug and alcohol problems got bad.

         One day she met a nice man. He moved her away from it all. Eventually she got pregnant. She miscarried and he left her. She tried to commit suicide and a friend found her. Took her to the mental ward then she was institutionalized.

         She received SSI when she left. But while she was hospitalized she was beaten and raped by other people in the State Hospital.

         Tracy had a daughter who was taken away from her because of her drug and alcohol problems along with her epilepsy and mental problems.

         One day Tracy around her SSI and stripping occasionally where she ran into cocaine. Because she was on so many drugs for her health problems she enjoyed cocaine because it woke her up a bit. Then she ran into crack and was addicted. She met a man who had a crack problem also. He got her pregnant and she moved in with him. Her life was a living hell. Any money she brought in he took so the baby did not have diapers.

         This very nice young man came over and saw her. He thought she was beautiful so he got a place to live and took her out of the apartment then got her off crack. Her father of her daughter took all the money he had saved he took from her and spent it on crack which he put on the coffee table all in one month. He put four thousand dollars worth of crack on the coffee table in one month and it was too much for Tracy to resist.

         Tracy began abusing again at the level she did prior to her new boyfriend Art got her off of it. She ended up being hospitalized for crack pneumonia. Then when she got well they sent her off to a mental institution again twice, then she went to jail for a positive urinalysis she had while she was out, then she lost her daughter permanently.

         Eventually Tracy got off of crack completely. Had another daughter with Art whom the system tried to take away except Art got a lawyer to help them so they were able to keep their child.

         They have a house, he has a good job, she stays home, and takes care of her daughter. Tracy has had her legal medications reduced and Art still drinks a bit too much which she does not like. People who know Tracy say occasionally she smokes a little pot but I think she is too afraid of them taking her child if she has a positive urinalysis so she probably does not.

         I do not know what the end of this story is but I spent some time helping Tracy with her life and thought that there was not much hope so I just started praying for her. I met her while I was in college when I accidentally moved into an inexpensive part of town where part of the neighborhood abused drugs. She told me she was going to college for computers because she was ashamed I was going to a University for my B.A. and she did not even have a Highschool diploma. She was working on a G.E.D. at the college.

         I haven't seen her in a few years but I heard she is O.K. I went to see her in the hospitals and in jail. I gave her an old car so they could move out of the crack neighborhood which helped greatly because many men who wanted to be with her would try to use crack to get somewhere with her. I told her finally you do not have to let them in your house because they are not your friends, so she stopped being polite and kept the door locked.

         I hope she does O.K.

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