Annoying People
1. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
5. Insist on keeping their car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
9. Make beeping noises when you back up.
10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping their hands over their ears.
11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
13. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others you "like it that way."
14. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
15. Publicly investigate just how slowly they can make a "croaking" noise.
16. Honk and wave to strangers.
17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.
18. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper.
19. type only in lowercase.
20. Don t use any punctuation either
21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of their chin and when nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
25. While making presentations, occasionally bob their heads like a parakeet.
26. Sit in their front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
27. Sing along at the opera.
28. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
29. Ask their coworkers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about "psychological profiles."
30. Tell their friends 5 days prior, that they can't attend their party because they're not in the mood.
31. Pull the freaking fire alarm in the dorm at 4 freaking 30 in the morning in the middle of hurricane freaking Earl.
32. Send this in an email to everyone in their email address book even if they sent it to you or ask you not to send things like this!
33. Say one thing and do something completely different.
34. Signal AFTER they change lanes, or not all.
35. Slow down to a stop before they turn on a busy road.
36. Tell you to call them at a certain time and then they are either not at home or on the phone when you call.
37. Send chainletters.
38. Believe those e-mails about "fake virus warnings" and "service cancellations" and "e-mail tracking."
39. Whine about a problem when you have already told them what they need to do to fix it.
40. Bring more than 10 items, pay with a check and want paper bags in the express lane.
41. Want their order carried out when they only have two or three bags.
42. Ask you what you are doing when it's perfectly obvious what you are doing. (ie. You're changing a tire and someone walks up and asks you what you're doing).
43. Ask to borrow your pen and never give it back.
44. Customers that walk up to uniformed employees and say "Do you work here?" No, I just shop here and I liked the outfits so much that I had to have one.
45. Screen their calls.
