ARE YOU A REAL HAM

 THE TEST!

                     Are you a Real Ham?

You hear a lot of discussion about who's a real ham. Some say if you don't have
the code, you're not a real ham. Others say if you don't work the low bands,
you're not a real ham. Well, I'm here to tell you, whether you're a real ham or
not has nothing to do with frequency, mode, code or packet, DX, or anything
pertaining to your favored ways of operating. It pertains to your degree of
obsession with the hobby. I therefore have devised this simple test which you
can take to determine if you're a real ham.

1. Do you spend more on radios than on cars?

2. Do you look at cellular phone monopoles and wonder how they would load
up as a 160 meter vertical?

3. Do you spend more time in the shack than in bed?

4. Do you ever eat dinner in the shack?

5. Do you ever get up at two in the morning to see if 20 meters is open to Asia?

6. Have you ever gone 6 months without watching TV?

7. Do you take an HT to work?

8. Are hamfests the biggest affairs on your social calendar?

9. Have you ever checked zoning laws and covenants before calling the realtor
to look at a new house?

10. Have you ever drilled a hole in the top of your car to mount an antenna? (If
car was new, count for 2 yesses!)

11. Do you ever agonize about whether to spend your week-end at a hamfest
or working a contest?

12. Do you consider a 65 foot tower with a three element 40 meter beam an
enhancement to the esthetic milieu of a neighborhood?

13. Has a ham in a ragchew QSO asked you if you were married or had kids,
and you had to stop and think about it?

14. Have you ever had to make a choice between spending time and/or money
on an amateur radio venture or on a major problem like a broken furnace, and
opted for the radio project?

                          GRADING

6 or fewer yesses--forget it, you're a wannabe.

7-9 yesses--real ham in training...you need a bit of work.

10-12 yesses--Congratulations, you're a Real Ham!

13-14 yesses--you may need counselling...perhaps therapy.