BEER (bir) n. 1. An alcoholic
beverage made by the fermentation of malted
barley and
hops.
You can't have a real country unless you
have
beer
and an airline-it helps if you have some kind of
football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least
you
need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do
drunk.
That
will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out
of
alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
72% of all
Americans over the
age of 18 drink beer. 82% of males classify themselves as
a beer drinker. 66% of females do.
He was a wise man who invented
beer.
--Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all
the
time.
--Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even
have
the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison
your
drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churhill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink
it.
--Winston Churchill to Lady Astor
If God had intended us to drink beer, he
would have
given us stomachs
--David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking
class.
--Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I
gave up
reading.
--Henny Youngman
23% of all
males over the age
of 18 drink beer daily; another 33% do so two or three
times a week. For women, 10% drink beer daily and 28% do
so two or three times a week.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us
to be
happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while
drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your
nose.
--Jack Handy
I vote for beer.
--Phillip Jimeno, Maryland state senator, on
his
recommendation for the offical state drink
The problem with the world is that everyone
is a
few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you
can
tell
it from urine.
--David Moulton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will
conquer
the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
People who drink "light" beer don't like the
taste
of beer; they just like to pee alot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
I would kill everyone in this room for a
drop
of
sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without
chemicals
such
as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be
no way
to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Berry
I drink to make other people
interesting.
--George Jean Nathan
Beer is good food.
--Kip Debaker
The age range that spans the years from 26-35 is the prime
time for beer drinking. But all ages enjoy beer:
| Age Group |
Beer Drinking
Percentage |
| 18-25 |
68% |
| 26-35 |
80% |
| 36-45 |
73% |
| 45 and over |
64% |
They who drink beer will think
beer.
--Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk
to spend time with his fools.
--from For Whom the Bell Tolls, by Ernest
Hemmingway
Let no man thirst for good beer.
--Samual Adams
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
--Dean Martin
Alright brain, I don't like you and you
don't
like
me, so lets just do this and I'll get back to
killing
you
with beer.
--Homer Simpson
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the
temper, cheers the spirit and promotes good
health.
--Thomas Jefferson
Cover a war in a place where you can't drink
a beer
or talk to a woman? Hell no!
--Hunter S. Tompson, on the Gulf
War
That's whats cool about working with
computers.
They don't argue, they remember everything, and
they
don't
drink all your beer.
--Paul Leary
If American and Canadian fisherman sat down
and
cracked open a case of beer, we'd have this done in
an
hour.
--Kit Taggart, after a dispute over rights
to
salmon fishing
I didn't fly 1200 miles to stay
sober.
--Boozit
BEER ON THE WEB
