Background Information:

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ
is Lingam (pronounced LING-AHM,
[LING rhymes with sing])
and is loosely translated
as "Wand of Light."
Its meaning is different
in intention
from the typical Western
view of the penis
(i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc.,
words that may come
from a limited perspective,
depending on the intent
of their usage).
In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality,
the Lingam is respectfully
viewed and honoured,
a "Wand of Light" that channels
creative energy and pleasure.

The purpose of the Lingam Massage
is to create a space
for the receiver to relax,
and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam.
His partner (the giver)
experiences the joy of facilitating
witnessing the man surrendering
to his softer, gentler side.
The Lingam Massage can be used as
a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used)
and is an excellent process
to build trust and intimacy.
It is often used to help men heal
from negative sexual conditioning and trauma.

Orgasm is not the goal
of the Lingam massage
although it is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect.
The goal is to massage the Lingam,
also including testicles, perineum
and Sacred Spot
(the equivalent to the female G-spot),
and allow the man to surrender
to a form of pleasure
he may not be used to.
From this perspective
both receiver and giver
relax into the massage.

Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE.
Traditional sexual conditioning
has the man in a doing
and goal oriented mode.
The Lingam Massage allows the man
to experience his softer, more receptive side
and experience pleasure
from a non-traditional perspective.

Preparation:

Take a relaxing bath or shower.
Take your time and breathe deeply.
Conscious, relaxed breathing
will take you out of your mental process
and will get you more into your feelings.
Relax your belly
and let go of the tension
that most of us hold there.

Go to the bathroom
before beginning the massage.
The best results occur
when the bowels and bladder are empty.

Let go of your thoughts
and connect with your partner
through hugging, holding, eye gazing
(looking into each other's eyes for an extended time),
bringing both of you to a place
of relaxation and trust.

Procedure:

Have the receiver lie on his back
with pillows under his head
so he can look up at his partner (giver).
Place a pillow, covered with a towel,
under his hips.
His legs are to be spread apart
with the knees slightly bent
(pillows or cushions under the knees will also help)
and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged
between the receivers' legs.

Before contacting the body,
begin with deep,
relaxed breathing.
Gently massage the legs,
abdomen, thighs,
chest, nipples, etc.,
to get the receiver to relax.
Remind the receiver to breathe deeply
and to sink deeper into relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil
(or water-based lubricant when using latex gloves)
on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles.
Begin gently massaging the testicles,
taking care to not cause pain
in this sensitive area.
Massage the scrotum gently,
causing it to relax.
Massage the area above the Lingam,
on the pubic bone.
Massage the Perineum,
the area between the testicles and anus.
Take your time.
You are giving a massage
to an often neglected area of the body.

CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.

Massage the shaft of the Lingam.
Vary the speed and pressure.
Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base
with your right hand, pull UP and slide off
and then alternate with your left hand.
Take your time doing this,
right, left, right, left, etc.
Then, change the direction
by starting the squeeze
at the head of the Lingam/penis
and then sliding DOWN and off.
Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam
as if you are using an orange juicer.
Massage all around the head and shaft.
In Tantra there are many nerve endings
on the Lingam that correspond
to other parts of the body.
It is said many ailments
can be cured by receiving a good Lingam Massage.

NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft
as you perform this technique.
Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again.
You will probably find
that it will get hard,
then go soft,
get hard again, etc.,
which is a highly desirable
Tantric experience,
like riding a wave,
bobbing up and down.
Hardness and Softness are two ends
of the pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver
is going to ejaculate,
back off,
allowing the Lingam to soften
a little before resuming the massage.
Do this several times,
coming close to ejaculation,
and then backing off.
Remember, the goal is not orgasm
in and of itself.
Men can learn the art
of ejaculatory mastery and control
by coming close to ejaculation
and then backing off on the stimulation.
Deep breathing is key here
and will soften the urge to ejaculate.
Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you
to make love as long as you want
and you can become multi-orgasmic
without losing a drop of semen.
Orgasm and ejaculation
are two different responses
that you can learn to separate.
The result is a very expanded sex life.

Find and massage the male Sacred Spot.
There are two ways to do this.

One is by finding the spot midway
between the testicles and anus.
There is a small indentation
about the size of a pea or maybe larger.
Be gentle and push inward.
He will feel the pressure deep inside
and it may be intensely painful at first.
Eventually, as this area
is worked on and softened,
he will be able to expand his orgasms
and master ejaculatory control.
You can massage his Lingam
with your right hand
and massage his Sacred Spot
with your left hand.
Try pushing in on this spot
when he nears ejaculation.
It is aptly named
the Million Dollar Point.

The other way to access the Sacred Spot
is through the anus.
Many men, especially heterosexual men,
are uncomfortable at first
as a result of negative sexual conditioning.
Be careful here and use lubrication.
The key is to go slow
and be very gentle.
Make sure he is breathing
as you slip a finger from your left hand
into the anus about an inch or so.
Then crook the finger back
in a "come here" gesture.
You will feel the prostate gland.
Vary the pressure and speed of massage.
He may want stimulation of the Lingam
as you massage the Sacred Spot.
Back off on the Lingam
as he approaches orgasm
and increase the pressure
on the Sacred Spot.

Sometimes the man may
have strong emotions
come up during access to the Sacred Spot.
He may cry and remember a traumatic
event from his past.
You, the giver,
are in a place of trust and intimacy.
Allow him to feel his emotions
and be very loving,
not trying to console or fix him,
just let him feel whatever he needs to.
Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob,
if it feels appropriate.
Be the best friend and healer
he could have in that moment.

Ending the Massage:

If he chooses to let go and ejaculate,

encourage him to breathe deeply
during the orgasm.
It will blow his mind,
especially if he has come close
and held back at least SIX times
before ejaculating.
Holding back six times
charges up the sexual battery
with tremendous energy.
It is then his choice as to where
he wants to send this energy
out with their ejaculate
(the prevailing paradigm)
or inward for other uses
(men who master ejaculation
are able to channel
this energy into other areas
of their being).

When he feels complete with the massage
gently remove your hands
and allow him to lie there quietly.
You may want to
snuggle up together
or you can leave the room
and let him drift off into a meditative state.
Allow him to fully experience
his childlike innocence and magnificent male beauty.

The Wedding Chapel @ Devonshire
The Art Of Conscious Loving
The Labyrinth Ceremony
Love Teachings of Kama Sutra
Sensual Sensations
The Lingam Massage


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