A Personal Dedication

Yeah, all those pics are of Chris. I met him online a while back......a little over a year ago. We used to sit and chat in a chatroom called the Dungeon of the Damned. No one could make me laugh as hard as Chris could. Over the span of several months we became pretty good friends, always there when the other was in need of a major laugh. I used to go into the Dungeon hoping Chris would be there because I was bound to have some fun on an otherwise dull, late night. Whether the topic was chunky, expensive black boots or how many Almond filled Hershey's Kisses I could slingshot into his mouth, it was never boring. He was a pretty neato, intelligent and witty as hell kid.

A week or so had passed and I hadn't seen or heard from Chris. I didn't think anything of it, until someone in the Dungeon brought up the subject of AlbertFish's (that was Chris' nickname in the Dungeon) death. I read the post over and over thinking I was not reading it right and I was misunderstanding it. How could Chris be dead? At first it didn't register. I knew he had some problems, but everyone is supposed to have problems. It's normal. But it was true, Chris had taken his own life. Totally in shock, I turned the computer off and went and told my sister, who had also known Chris. Her reaction was the same as mine. That night I couldn't sleep for a long time. I lay in my bed just thinking, shed some tears, and said a little prayer. I not only cried for Chris, but also for the fact that he was nothing more than a child who had been on this earth for a mere 14 years.....14 years!! It was unbelievable to me that a child that age was troubled so much in his life that he decided he did not want to live here anymore. A child that age is supposed to be worried about what video game or computer game he's gonna buy next. But for whatever reason Chris grew up too fast and worried about things that no child should have to think about. It just hurts a lot because I always have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind (as I'm sure many others do), could I have maybe said something to Chris? Could I have done anything to prevent it from happening? I'm almost certain there was nothing I could have done, but it's hard not to wonder.

I'd like to dedicate my James Dean page to Chris because he had told me once, so many night ago, that he had never seen a picture of James Dean, and that he had only heard of the actor's name before. He later joked that he would find a picture of James Dean and sit and stare at it just to make me happy. I doubt he ever got around the doing that.

Rest in peace Chris. This one's for you, so enjoy. : )