My Words

My Words are as important as anyone else's... Over the years, I've written many words, easily outweighing the amount that I've spoken... and for you, here are some of My Words...


ADOLESCENCE

Adults expect you to act like them, while your
Dying childhood waits for an occasional revival.
Others demand that your visage to resemble theirs, or their words will abuse you forever.
Lost in a land of confusion that
Expects you to understand and accept it.
Some say these are the best years of your life - I disagree.
Confusion towers over me like the
Empire state building, leaving me in the dark -
Needing answers.
Childhood remains and adulthood lurks, waiting -
Expecting you to take the giant leap into the cold darkness of the "real world."



Savior

i glare at you
& say
i'll be your Jesus.

hazy smoke rising
towards our eyes
distorts the Truth.

frustrated,
i scream -
i'd die to save you.

everything we have
ever known
is wrong.

but nothing's coming out right
heads are bowed in failure
tears fall in pain

& i say
let it rain -
drench me in your sorrow.




SPINNING

i sit here listening as you
spin lies like spider-webs.
they're so delicate and detailed.
everything fits together perfectly.
but i know better.

i see how you
spin your stories like cotton candy
they're so sweet and sugarcoated
with falsehoods.
but i know better.

so i just sit here and listen.
maybe you think you're fooling me...
but you're not.
i know you.

and i know better.



LOSING TIME

I sit here doing nothin' as time speeds by me
he grins and cackles - soon his tail-lights are all I see
It takes a few seconds past too long
for me to realize I'm still singing the same old song.
So I try to stand up and desperately chase Time's car
and I run and I sprint, but it's no use - he's gone too far.

I keep jogging and see his car pulled off down the road
I catch up and go into my non-procrastination mode.
He starts up the car and soon we're neck and neck
but work and problems start piling up, so I slow down for a sec.
Once again Time goes faster and starts to really lose me
and I've got too much building up to be able to run free.


I race Time over and over and over again,
maybe one day, I'll actually win.




A Friend

her laughter, her smiles
all replay in my mind.
it makes me sad -
a friend like that
is really hard to find.
her fire, her energy
used to brighten my day.
it makes me mad
how easily she slipped away.





Ashley

she made one little mistake,
now her life's changed forever.
she made a simple mistake
on a one night endeavor.
young and beautiful,
a model she had been.
now her life's changed forever
because of one little sin.
she could've been famous,
she could've been "da bomb,"
but now, she's known
quite simply as "mom"...


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Untitled

"i hate myself and wanna die"
this statement's never been so true.
she never truly understood it
until the day she met you.

you let her open up
& in you, she placed her trust.
but slowly you started to ignore her
& eventually tore her heart to dust.

now each night she dies a bit
& cries herself to sleep,
wishing on a star
that she'll be buried deep.



Path To Pain

you write
your words
in sand,
allowing
the water
to wash
them away.
while
my words,
every one,
are etched
in stone.
taking
an eternity
to erode away.

i've learned
not to
take anything
you say
very seriously
because
that path
only leads
to pain...





My List of Used-To's

i used to entertain you all
i used to be the clown
but then i got sad
& you didn't want me around.
i used to take your words
i used to be a doormat
then I stuck up for myself
but you just couldn't tolerate that.
i used to do everything for you
i never, ever said "no"
but when I finally learned the word
you turned around to go.
i used to listen to your problems
i used to deeply care
but when i came to you troubled
you were never there.
i used to act really crazy
i used to be loads of fun
but I'm more reserved now
& away from me you run.
i used to hold in my emotions -
never let you see me cry
but cryin's all i do now
& i can't help but wonder why:

why did you leave me?
where did you go?
may i come back in,
or will you leave me in the snow?



"Computer Class"

perhaps it's my teenage rebellion
but i want to do things my own way
bcuz you're old & traditional & wrinkled
& always want the supreme & final say.

all these people around me
are stupid & try to follow you right along
but i'm smarter than anyone here
so i guess i just don't belong.

but some other imbecilic people
who run this quaint little school
say i need this class to graduate
they can be so cruel.

it takes everyone at least an hour
to complete a simple 2 minute task
what am i supposed to do
with the other 58 minutes, i ask

my brain's starting to hate me
for putting it thru such remedialities
it'll probably shut down from boredom
leaving me without any capabilites

& i'll sit here like one of those
drooling little idiot savants -
unable to speak or think,
but boy, can i manipulate fonts!




MORE TO COME




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Poetry by the great Emily Dickinson

Email: kelloggs23@aol.com