Dear Daddy

Letters To Our Abusers

Warning!

The following written material may contain details, of sexually abusive, violent, strong language, or other content not suitable for children under the age of 18, and for others whom are, suicidal, triggered easily, or otherwise in a fragile state.

Please read with care and caution.

Happy Fathers Day Daddy

Daddy you're so special,
you teach me many things.
All of life's dearest lessons
That only you Dad can bring!

The memories of you and me
Will forever be in my heart
The attention I got from you
Has ripped my soul apart

So when I think of you Dad
I think of something vile
You're a sick and selfish pig
You erased my pretty smile

You taught me to believe
That I was soiled and unclean
Bad body image, self hatred
all before I was even a teen

Were you proud of me Daddy
While I drank, drugged and whored?
I did it all for you Dad
Just trying to ignore

So here it is another day
Another week, a year
As little girls remember Dads
As do I … so very clear

So, "Happy Fathers Day Daddy"
You are in my thoughts today
I think I'll go ahead and puke
Wrap it up, and send it up your way!

Love, kimmy

A letter to the grandpa who raped my little girl.

  I dont need to address you by name you know who you are and what you have done to the little one God gave to me.I trusted you as a grandpa and a deacon of the church I thought you was a good christian man I never thought when my little girl kissed me goodbye to go with you that you would take her to use and abuse for your own sickness or I would have stopped you.My daughter will heal and will be ok you see Jesus is her healer and He knows what you did and His word says it would be better for a millstone to be tied around your neck than to offend one of His children and be casts into the depths of the sea.You see it would have been better that you were never born than for you to harm my child.As a mother I am disgusted at you I have sat in courtrooms with you and never seen any signs of remorse from you until you seen you were looking at jail time.I do want to say this to you I hope you get the opportunity to see what it feels like to have you body violated as did my daughter and when you lay in that jail cell at night I hope you remember and are tormented with thoughts of what you done to my child.I hope you never forget what you did and I hope you never do it to another child.You are sick Get help and stay away from children.You are a disgust to society but I will pray that God heaps coals of fire upon your head.Yes on earth you didnt get much but a slap on the hand in the courtroom but I guarentee you youll face the creator and He will judge you and justice will prevail then and only then.For now I shake the dust off my feet and will pray continually for my daughters healing and her life will be to help others she already has.She is a survivor and Jesus will heal what you intended to destroy.

The victim forever "I DONT THINK SO"

Chew on that.

Smiles

 

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Dear Daddy,
You were always my hero, even when you were the monster in my nightmares. I always figured daddy knew best... nothing you could do would ever be wrong. It's now that I am a big girl and I think back on all the things you did to hurt me that I realize you were no hero. You hurt me Daddy, you caused me more pain than you may ever know or realize. I don't hate you Daddy, I still love you because to hurt me so bad, to hurt ANYONE so bad you must have a lot of anger and pain inside of you. It destroyed me once. I am not going to let the same hate and anger develop inside of me and destroy me again. I will never forgive you, but I don't hate you. I just need to know...

Daddy, I was so little, what did I do to deserve what you did to me? What did I do that was so wrong? You never told me so I could never fix it. If you had told me what I was doing wrong I could have stopped it. You wouldn't have had to hurt me over and over. Daddy, I tried so hard to be a good girl. I just wanted your love and your acceptance. I wanted to be your little girl. I wanted to make you happy, I wanted to make you proud. Why Daddy? Why did you hurt me night after night? Why did you hurt me so bad? What did I do to make you so angry... to make you want to hurt me so deeply? Did you hate me? I want to know why DAMMIT! I hurt, I am filled with pain because of the things that you did to me. The things that you did for 13 years of my childhood, while I was supposed to be a happy little girl, I was filled with fear and self doubt... wonder and anger at myself. You made me think I was a terrible little girl. I need to know why. I am so sorry Daddy, I tried so hard, I swear I did. I did everything that I knew how to do, yet these things seemed to make you angrier with me. Was I so bad Daddy? I tried so hard to be good. Why Daddy? Why did you hate me and hurt me? I need to know... please tell me. I loved you.. I admired you. You were my hero, my knight in shining armor, my daddy. Why did you hurt me? Maybe you can help me understand, I am willing to try. So, tell me Daddy... WHY?

Your little girl, Heather

 

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To the person I will never call dad again:

I hate you. I feel so much anger and rage at you that it has a life of its own. You hurt me so badly. I was just a young girl. How could you do that to me. There is and never will be any excuse for what you did. Your ugly face and ugly voice make me totally ill. You are evil and ugly total black smelly bile. I would like to see your face on TV being arrested for being the child molester of me. I would like to see you in jail forever. You deserve nothing. You horrible evil monster. What you did to me has nearly destroyed me. God does not want that for me I know that now. So I am surviving despite the evil you did to me a helpless young girl. I am not to blame. I shall not have shame for I am innocent.

To the person I will never call dad again: I hate you. I feel so much anger and rage at you that it has a life of its own. You hurt me so badly. I was just a young girl. How could you do that to me. There is and never will be any excuse for what you did. Your ugly face and ugly voice make me totally ill. You are evil and ugly total black smelly bile. I would like to see your face on TV being arrested for being the child molester of me. I would like to see you in jail forever. You deserve nothing. You horrible evil monster. What you did to me has nearly destroyed me. God does not want that for me I know that now. So I am surviving despite the evil you did to me a helpless young girl. I am not to blame. I shall not have shame for I am innocent. I AM AND ADULT WOMEN NOW AND I WILL SURVIVE AND GROW AS GOD INTENDED ME TO DO.

 

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Dear Mr. B.,

I HATE YOU! 

I HATE YOU! 

I HATE YOU! 

How could you do what you did to me?  I came to you because I was depressed and suicidal.  You knew that I didn't have a good relationship with my parents so you knew that I would never tell them.

Then you isolated me from my friends.  You made me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my friends.

You knew what you were going to do from the very begining.  You isolated me and made me totally dependant on you.  It was all so subtle. 

And then there was the first time.  I hated it.  I was so confused.  I wanted to get away but you wouldn't let me.   Later you told me not to tell.  You said that you would lose your job and you had two kids in college to support.  Plus, who would believe me?  I should have just walked away and never seen you again but you had totally isolated me. 

So then I tried leaving your office without a "hug".  How many times was I late to my next class--procrastinating trying to avoid the inevitable.  I can still hear the sound of your office door closing.   If I didn't let you abuse me then you punished me by not being there the next day.

And then there was the whole suicide thing.   You knew that I was depressed and suicidal yet you did noting to prevent it.   You didn't believe me when I told you about the first attempt.  Then you said that if I promised not to try to kill myself again you wouldn't tell my parents.  Is it a coincidence that this attempt was less than two weeks after the first time you abused me?

After the third attempt you were so angry with me.  I had let you down. My parents made me go to school that day even though I was very sick. You saw me lying in the nurses office and you yelled at me that I had let you down.  When my dad got there to take me home you thought it was incredibly funny that I was unable to stand.  When it was decided that I needed to go to a mental hospital you did nothing but discourage me.  You said that I didn't really need to be there;   why wasn't I home yet;  why couldn't I just get on with life?  Were you afraid that the secret would get out?

After I had a psych evaluation done, my parents and I visited you at home so you could read it.  What did you think when you read that "sexual stimulation was difficult for me to deal with"?  Where did you think that came from?  Why did you abuse me again--right in front of my parents and your wife?

I doubt that you will ever understand the devistating effect that you have had on my life.  It wasn't just limited to the time that you were abusing.  This is my whole life we are talking about!

How dare you ask my mother why you were not invited to my wedding.  Maybe I should have invited you--***** would have beat the sh*t out of you!!!


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