"No God, no peace.  Know God, know peace."

"Free trip to Heaven -- Details inside"

"God so loved the world that He...didn't send a committee."

"Come in and pray today.  Beat the Christmas rush!"

"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah.  He came out alright."

"Sign broken.  Message inside this Sunday."

"Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity -- smoking or non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to dirty lives."

"It is unlikely there will be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"Try our Sundays.  They're better than Baskin-Robbins."

An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding the stone tablets on which the ten commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads :  "For fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you like the way you were born, try being born again."

"This is a ch_ _ch.  What's missing? = U R."

"In the dark?  Follow the son."

"Running low on faith?  Stop in for a fill-up."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep -- talk to the shepherd!"

"Forbidden Fruit -- Creates many jams!"

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance."