The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.

Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say, "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.

It would be much scarier to get chased around the oat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.

Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.

We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.

Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?

Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.

There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

Do you know what the Empire does to self- proclaimed "kings of the world?"

If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.

"I'd rather be his whore than your wife," just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."

Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.

Han Solo would've steered clear of that stupid iceberg!

We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father."?

Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a stupid minor character.

When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a dork of himself at the Oscars.

Titanic morals:

a. gamble,

b. cheat on your husband,

c. pose nude for pictures,

d. premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated.

Star Wars morals:

a. fight evil,

b. do good,

c. respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers,

d. rescue princess,

e. save planet.

More Star Wars Humor!!!

MEMO

From: Junior Engineer, Imperial Engineering

To: Core Design Staff, Death Star Project

Subject: Death Star Exhaust Port

When looking over the current plans, I noticed something that may be of some concern. The exhaust port in section AZ223 leads directly down into the main reactor shaft--as such, it may be possible for a direct hit by a small warhead to penetrate the shaft and destroy the entire reactor. I have attached to this document a quick rendering of a design that will remove this vulnerability. It's not much of a danger, but with the rumors that the Rebels have acquired a small number of torpedo-carrying snub fighters, it seems prudent to eliminate all vulnerabilities we can detect.

MEMO

From: Imperial Intelligence Liaison, Death Star Project

This prepostorous claim that the group of terrorists calling themselves the 'Rebel Alliance' have obtained high-tech fighters is simply a rumor spread by terrorist sympathizers to try to spread fear and disinformation through the loyal citizens of the Empire. I shall be generous and simply remind you that the spreading of such sedition is a Class 3 offence. I shall not be so generous if such incidents are repeated. Rest assured that if these terrorists were to somehow obtain such capabilities, Imperial Intelligence would distribute that information to all concerned parties.

MEMO

From: Senior Engineer, Death Star Project

That exhaust port, a vulnerability? Surely, you jest. Need I remind you that I have been building military space stations for over 35 years now, and was hand-picked by the Grand Moff himself. I dare say that I know a bit more about what does or what does not constitute a vulnerability than you do. Still, I have decided to humor you. I've attached a spreadsheet in which I've calculated attack probabilities. As you can see, there's more of a chance that the station will misjump into a black hole than there is of someone managing the type of shot your so-called vulnerability would require.

MEMO

From: Project Head, Death Star Project

Stop this pointless bickering and get back to work. As our Intelligence Liaison and Senior Engineer have pointed out, this flaw simply does not exist save in the over-zealous imagination of our Junior Engineers. We are currently 17 billion credits over budget and 37 days behind schedule, and we're only just now starting to build the outer exoskeleton. I need people to work to get this project done, not come up with ways to send the project further over budget and further behind schedule!

Well...do you think they should have listened to the Junior Engineer??? LOL