CHAPTER NINETEEN




After being woken by his third nightmare or the night, Nick slowly climbed out of bed. Glancing at the clock he saw it wasn't as early as he thought. Throwing on some old clothes, Nick took a deep breath and headed outside and next door. He must have stood on the porch for a good ten minutes before working up the nerve to knock. Once he had knocked he bit his lip nervously as he waited for someone to answer. After a few moments the door was opened by a very tired looking Stephanie.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you Mrs. Michaels?"

"No Nick, I was up.....just didn't get much sleep."

"Oh.....well can I talk to Sam?"

Stephanie looked down and couldn't meet his gaze. Nick noticed that she looked uncomfortable but couldn't think of why.

"Um......she's not here Nick."

"Well, do you know when she'll be back?"

"Um.......she left Nick."

"What do you mean she left?"

"She left for college last night......"

"What?!"

"She headed off to Florida State last night."

"But she said she wasn't leaving until Saturday."

"She decided last night that she wanted to leave then."

"So she left because of me then?"

"No Nick, she........," Stephanie stumbled over her words, "she left because she needed to......"

"Well, is there anyway I can get in touch with her?"

"I'm sorry Nick.......she made me promise not to give that information to you......"

Stephanie watched as the hurt look came over Nick's face. She felt bad, she wanted to tell him but she didn't want to betray her daughters trust.

"Nick......I want to tell you, I really do......but Sam needs some time. She's not ready to talk to anyone, let alone you yet. Give it some time."

Nick just nodded before turning and going back home. Slamming his bedroom door behind him, Nick grabbed the nearest thing and hurled it against the wall. He watched at his favorite picture smashed against the wall and fell to the floor in pieces. It had been a picture of him and Sam......only now the frame it was in was completely demolished.

Upon hearing the doors slamming and the thump against the wall, curiosity got the better of BJ and she headed to her brothers room. Knocking softly she poked her head in and found him quietly picking up pieces of the frame across the room.

"Nick?"

"What?" he answered in a low voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on Nick.......what's wrong?" BJ asked again walking up behind him.

Nick slowly turned around and sat with his back against the wall. Looking up he glanced once at BJ before looking back down at the picture still on the floor. When he had looked in her eyes, BJ almost started crying. He looked so sad and depressed. Slowly BJ sat beside him and just waited. After a few minutes he finally spoke up in a whisper.

"She left me....."

"Who left you?"

"Sam."

"What? What do you mean she left you?"

"She left for college last night.....and never said good-bye......"

"Well, why don't you just get her number, call her up and bitch her out."

"She told her mother not to give me her number or address......"

"What?!! That is so not Sam. Why? What happened?"

"BJ......please get out......I don't want to talk about this."

BJ looked at him once more before getting up and leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. As soon as she got back to her room, she picked up the phone and after searching through her address book, dialed.

"Come on......pick up......," she muttered into the phone.

"Hello.........."

"Brian?"

"Yes.....who's this?" he mumbled groggily.

"BJ."

"BJ? What are you doing calling here?"

"Gee, I love you too. I wanna know what happened to Nick."

This woke Brian right up, "What do you mean, what happened?"

"He's depressed as anything. He came in slamming doors this morning, and then he threw his favorite picture of him and Sam against the wall. What happened?"

"Oh......him and Sam got into a fight yesterday but he was supposed to go talk to her today....."

Brian's comment was met with complete silence from BJ.

"BJ? You there?"

"Yea.....now I know why's he upset though."

"Why?"

"Sam left for college last night......and didn't say good-bye to anyone."

"What?!"

"She left......and told her mom not to give Nick her new number and address."

"Oh shit....."

"Brian? Do you think you can come over? He's really bad......I've never seen him this bad....."

"Sure I'll be over as soon as I get dressed. Go tell your mom what happened. Maybe she can do something."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

After hanging up, BJ went to find her mom and fill her in. Meanwhile Nick hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. He continued to stare at the picture with blank eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam awoke, disorientated and confused. Glancing around, she remembered she was at a hotel. Rubbing her red, swollen eyes, Sam laid back down. It had been a long night. After leaving her house, she had driven nonstop up to the hotel, crying half the time. Then after calling her mom to let her know she was safe and everything, she sat in the room and cried. She had tossed and turned all night long, barely getting any sleep. Finally around dawn she had fallen asleep. Now as she sat there, she wondered if she had done the right thing.

"Of course I did.......if I didn't leave..........well.......I wouldn't have been able to........." Sam muttered to herself.

Sighing, Sam got up and decided to shower. Glancing in the mirror she sighed again. She looked horrible. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying. Her face was all blotchy and red and she had a killer headache. Turning the faucets, Sam jumped into the hot water, hoping to soothe her body and mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian arrived at the Carters not even an hour later. As soon as he pulled up Jane opened the front door and came out.

"Oh boy am I glad you're here Brian. Nick refuses to leave his room."

"That bad huh?"

Jane just nodded.

"So what happened?"

"Well, I called Stephanie and according to her, Sam came home sometime after the storm, soaking wet and crying. Then she said she needed to leave last night or she wouldn't be able to. So Stephanie made some hotel reservations and Sam packed. Then she left."

"That doesn't seem like Sam.......that just seems so cold hearted."

"I know....but what's worse is that Stephanie isn't allowed to give Nick Sam's new number or address."

Brian just sighed and headed inside. Slowly he made his way up to Nick's room. Knocking, he waited outside for some kind of answer. Getting none, he opened the door and looked in. Nick was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, staring at something on the floor.

"Hey Nick."

No response. Taking a deep breath, Brian walked over to stand beside Nick. Looking, he saw that he was staring at a picture of Sam and himself. They both looked so happy in the picture. Brian stood there for a moment thinking of what to do. After a moment, he bent down and picked up the picture. Nick followed the picture with his eyes. He didn't say a word until Brian went to rip it in half.

"NO!! What are you doing!!!?"

"Oh, it talks. I was trying to get your attention......seems it worked."

"Leave me alone Brian."

"No way Nick. First of all, we've got a concert in a few hours....."

"I'm not going."

'Like hell you aren't! Yesterday you said and I quote, 'I'm not going to let you guys down' so you're going."

"I can't."

"Yes you can and you will. Look Nick, I know you're hurt, confused, angry and god knows what other emotions are running through you.....but she's gone for now, and canceling this concert isn't going to bring her back. You can't ruin this opportunity because Sam got a bug up her butt. We'll do the concert and then we'll figure out what to do about Sam, okay?"

Nick sat there for a while before slowly nodding his head. Breathing a sigh of relief Brian sat down net to Nick, still holding the picture.

"So when was this taken?"

"My 16th birthday..... We went to Disney World. She was so scared about going on the Alien Encounter that she almost started crying.......but she went on it because I wanted to," Nick said with a small smile.

After a few minutes of just sitting there, Nick looked at Brian with tears in his eyes.

"Why couldn't she just tell me? We were supposed to be best friends, so why couldn't she just tell me she was leaving?"

"I don't know Nick......I wish I knew what she had been thinking....but I don't. Did you think about talking to any of her friends to see if she told them anything?"

"Like who?"

Brian thought for a minute, "How about Sera?"

"No.....I haven't spoken to her. I doubt she would tell me anything anyways."

"Never hurts to try. Come on, we'll stop by on our way to the concert rehearsal."

Brian proceeded to pull Nick up and drag him down the hall. On the way they passes Jane who had a relieved look on her face.

"Good lucky guys, we'll see you at the show."

Brian and Nick just nodded as Nick continued to get pushed out of the door and into Brian's car.

"So where does Sera live Nick?"

"A few miles down the beach."

The rest of the trip was made in silence except for the occasional direction from Nick. Not too long later they were sitting in front of Sera's, neither of them moving.

"Ready Nick?"

All Nick did was nod. Getting out, they approached the door and knocked. A moment later, a very depressed looking Sera opened the door.

"Oh......uh....hi Nick......Brian.......what are you doing here?"

Brian waited for Nick to speak up and sighed when he just stood there.

"Can we talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"Um......I guess......come on in."

Brian and Nick followed Sera into the living room and sat down. Sera looked at them expectantly.

"Um....Nick? Are you going to talk to her or what?"

Taking a deep breath Nick looked at Sera.

"Why?"

"Why what Nick?"

"Why did she leave?"

"Who?"

"Sera, don't play dumb. Why did Sam leave so suddenly?"

Sera looked down and just shrugged her shoulders.

"Dammit Sera! Why did she leave? I know she told you!" Nick said angrily, his voice rising.

Sera looked up angrily, "Don't you DARE yell at me!! I'm not the one who pushed her to leave!"

Once these words left her mouth, Sera's face paled as she watched all the color drain from Nick's face.

"So she did leave because of me......." Nick mumbled before turning and walking out of the room. A minute later, they head the front door open and shut.

"Oh god......I didn't mean to.......I never......." Sera said on the verge of tears.

"It's okay......so why exactly did she leave?"

"Because he said he loved her......."

"I thought she would have wanted to hear that."

"Me too.......it's not that he said it......it's when he chose to say it."

"I don't get it."

"He decides to tell her right before she leaves.........think about it. She's probably thinking he's just saying it to get her to stay."

Brian just sat there......realizing now why Sam left.

"Sera? Did Sam leave a number or address or anything?"

"Yea, but I can't give it to you."

"Why not?"

"Because Sam asked me not to."

"Oh, she said, 'Don't give Brian my number'?"

"Well......no....but if I give it to you, you'll give it to Nick and she asked me not to give it to him."

"Sera........please. You didn't see Nick this morning. When I got here, he was sitting against the wall staring at a picture of him and Sam. All I could see in his eyes was hurt and pain. She owes him an explanation. Look, if you give it to me, technically you aren't breaking your word to Sam."

Sera looked at him for a few minutes before slowly nodding.

"Okay, let me go get it."

Brian waited downstairs while Sera went and got the info. Coming back down, she handed him a slip of paper with Sam's handwriting on it.

"I've already got it in my address book, so you can have my copy."

"Thank you.........well, I should be going. We've got a concert in a bit."

"Oh yea......I might go.......nothing else to do."

"Well if you come, try to get backstage. I'll try and leave you name if there's a guard."

"Okay, see you later."

"Later........and thanks again," Brian said before walking out the door.

He saw Nick sitting in the passenger's seat with a blank look on his face. Climbing in he sighed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam sat and looked at the clock again. Right now she should be getting ready to go to Nick's concert. Instead she was sitting in a hotel room, watching TV and thinking. She still couldn't decide if this had been a mistake or not. Knowing she had to talk to someone, Sam picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Sera?"

"Sam?"

"Yea......what's up?"

"Um....not much.....getting ready for the concert."

"Oh......you're gonna go?"

"Yea.....Brian asked me to."

"He did?"

"Well, kinda. He stopped by with Nick today."

There was silence on the other end.

"Sam?"

"Sorry......what did he want?"

"To know why you left........Sam you should talk to Nick......he looks horrible."

"I can't Sera.........I just can't........"

"Well then I don't know what to say to you..........I never thought you would deliberately hurt someone like this."

"I am not deliberately hurting him Sera!!"

"Yes you are.....you know that leaving would kill him.....and it is. You didn't see him......I did. The boy is in serious pain right now......and you could end it by calling him and telling him why you left."

"But I don't know why I left!" Sam wailed into the phone, "I just know I had to!!"

"Whatever you say Sam. I'm sorry but I have to go or I'm going to be late."

"Fine......you know Sera.....I thought you of all people would be there for me. Thanks."

With that, Sam hung up and cried into her hands. Of all the people to turn on her, she never thought it would be Sera. Laying down, Sam cried herself to sleep once again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Brian, Kevin, AJ, Howie, and Nick were backstage warming up. Nick was doing a little better. The excitement of performing had gotten to him and it seemed his mind had drifted from Sam to that.

"Well guys........you ready?" Mrs. Comings asked stepping up to them.

"Yea!!" they all cried in unison.

Mrs. Comings started laughing, "Okay, well, you're on in 5. Good luck, and break a leg!"

As she walked away, the guys had a big group hug before heading to the side of the stage. Waiting in the wings, they waited for the host to announce them. As soon as he had, the lights dimmed and the guys ran onstage and took their places. As the lights came up, Sam completely left Nick's mind and he concentrated on performing.

The guys commanded the stage for a good 45 minutes before rushing offstage, exhausted and sweaty. As soon as they got backstage, Brian noticed Sera talking to a security guard. Walking over, he saw them arguing actually.

"Hey Sera, what's going on?"

"This buffoon doesn't think I know you."

Brian looked at the guys name tag.

"Well......Lou......she's with me. Sorry, I told someone she'd be coming but I guess they didn't let you know. Sorry."

Lou looked at Brian and then over at Sera once more, "That's okay.....sorry about giving you a hard time ma'am.....but you never know....."

"That's okay, I understand you're just doing your job. I'm just having a bad day....."

Smiling, Brian grabbed Sera's arm and pulled her away.

"Sorry about that.....I guess I told the wrong person....."

"That's okay....I'm just having a bad day...."

"Why, what happened?"

"Sam called."

"Really? What did she say?"

"I dunno.....I kinda yelled at her...."

"Why?"

"I don't know......I just started telling her that I couldn't see why she was hurting Nick like this and everything.....and pretty much told her to kiss off until she could tell me why."

"What did she do?"

"Called me a lousy friend and hung up."

"Man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in the middle of this by asked for her number and all......"

"It's not your fault. I don't agree with how she's handling this. She could have done it different. Anyways, onto better topic......you guys were great!"

"Thanks! I think we're all gonna go eat now.......want to join us?"

"Sure! Um......I take it I shouldn't bring up Sam....."

"No.....I haven't told Nick I have her address yet......"

"Oh okay."

Sera followed Brian to a group in the corner consisting of the rest of the guys and all the managers. After a few more minutes of chit chat, they all left. Deciding on pizza from 'The Galley' they headed there in their respective vehicles. Eating ended up taking them a good two hours. They all discussed the show, the group and everything else under the sun except for Sam. No one wanted to bring her up since Nick seemed to forget about her for a little bit......or so everyone thought.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nick sighed to himself as he glanced around the table. Everyone seemed so happy. Although he had managed to push Sam out of his mind during the show, as soon as he stepped backstage, she swarmed into his thoughts. Now as he watched everyone laugh and joke around, he just wanted to cry. As soon as they had finished, he left. He told Brian he'd just walk home since it wasn't that far. Although Brian didn't like the idea, he had agreed. Now as Nick sat on the cold sand staring out at the waves crashing against the shore, he thought. He thought about everything and anything he could have done to drive Sam away. His brain came up empty though. She had seemed happy. I mean as happy as someone could be when they were leaving. After a few hours of going over and over everything, Nick got up and headed home. Walking in the house, he passed his parents and just went to bed. Jane and Robert sat downstairs looking at each other worriedly, neither knowing how to help their son through this.




Chapter Twenty