Jordan checked over her shoulder once more. She was so ashamed of herself. Here she was, doing something she thought she'd never do......snooping through Sam's closet.

"I have no choice," she mumbled to herself.

Jordan and Sam had gotten pretty close since school started, but Jordan knew there was something Sam wasn't telling her. And it wasn't just curiosity that had Jordan snooping, it was also worry. Sam was always either depressed or upset and Jordan couldn't figure out why. Everything had been great when they went to Hawaii. Jordan was able to get Sam ouside and make her get a tan even. But as soon as they got back to school, she went back to being depressed 'ole Sam. After another 20 minutes of searching, Jordan gave up and sat down to think of a new approach.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You guys ready for this?" Ms. Miles asked.

Taking a deep breath, the guys nodded. This was their first interview as a group. The last couple of months had been good to them. They had released their first single, "Quit Playin' Games (with my heart)" the day after Thanksgiving and it has risen to the number one spot after only two weeks. So now they were giving their first interview, on national television, which had them all a little jumpy. Moments later they were onstage, nervously wiping their hands on their pants.

"Welcome guys. I guess we should start by saying this is your first televised interview, so you may be a bit nervous. Why don't we go down the line and have you all introduce yourselves and tell us your ages."

"I'm AJ McLean and I'm 19."

"Howie D. and I'm 24."

"I'm Kevin Richardson, 26."

"Brian Littrell, 22."

"And I'm Nick Carter and I'm 17."

"Now how did you guys meet up?"

"Lets see......Brian and I are cousins......Nick and Brian met up a couple years ago at an audition. Musically, we all answered an ad for a talent search."

"So how long has it been since you all first met?"

"Well, we met at the begining of the summer, so going on 6 months now," AJ stated.

"Any major arguements or personality clashes?"

All the guys just shook their heads no.

"Why don't we discuss your single, "Quit Playin' Games". It was released a few weeks ago and has risen to number one in such a short amount of time........did that surprise you?"

After a pause Brian spoke up, "Yes, this is a major surprise. I think we're all still reeling from the fact that we're actually making a record. This single is great though. We all felt strongly about the song when we recorded it and we all knew it would do well.......but we never expected it would get this.........never expected it would blow up this quickly."

"Okay, now your debut CD will be out next week, right before Christmas.......and we've managed to get a sneak peek at it. You all have written a few songs on your own that are on there, but mainly it's all music that's produced and written by others.......why is that?"

"Well, this being our first record, the record executives as well as us thought it best if we let the experts handle most of this one. Obviously, we've never done this kind of thing before and they wanted a more professional sound. But as you said, there are a few songs written by either us as a group or songs written by just one of us," Kevin answered.

"Yes, one of those songs is called "Missing You"* and Mr. Carter here wrote it. Would you like to tell us about it? Is this song written about a particular someone?"

Everyone turned to look at Nick and Brian noticed that his face had gotten pale and he had a look of panic on his face.

"Well personally I think Nick just wrote that song as a generalization. You know, in your life there's always going to be someone who's gonna leave......and you aren't going to want them to, so you're gonna be missing them and doing whatever you can to get them back......." Brian interjected.

"Yea Bri's right. The song was just a generalization......I didn't write it about anyone in particular."

The interviewer looked at the two of them for a moment before moving on.

"So, you know all the ladies want to know.....are you all single?"

Laughing, Howie decided to answer this one, "Yea, we're all single.....and looking ladies!"

The interview continued on for a few more minutes before the guys were ushered offstage. As soon as they were in the safety of their "dressing rooms" Nick pulled Brian aside.

"Thanks Brian......I choked."

"It's okay Nick....I kinda figured you wouldn't want the whole Sam thing on TV...."

"Yea.......thanks again."

Brian watched as Nick sat down and waited for the others to get their stuff together so they could all leave. Sighing, Brian headed over to pick up his street clothes and grabbed Nick's as well. Soon, they were all on their way back to the studios to meet a choreographer.....JIVE seemed to think they should learn how to dance as well as sing......

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam sat at in her dorm room later that night composing a letter to her parents. She felt incredibly guilty for everything she's been putting them through lately and needed to let them know some things.

Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you guys are angry with me and you have every right to be. I just want you to know I'm not doing this to purposely hurt you guys. That's the last thing I want to do. I just want you to understand why I don't visit or call very much. You both know I left early because of Nick. And while he is part of the reason I stay away, he isn't the only reason. There are some things I need to work out on my own. Things I need to grieve about and work through. And until I am able to do that, I don't feel I can come home. This is just something I need to do on my own........I'm not sure how long it will take or what but it's something I need to do. I've got a few problems (nothing serious, don't panic) to deal with and I must deal with them in my own way. There's nothing you two can do to help me......and I know that hurts. Dad, you've always protected me and tried to shelter me......and I appreciate that but you can't protect me forever. Mom, you've always been there for me and you're always willing to listen and I wish I could talk to you about this and tell you what's wrong......but I don't even completely know. I'm so sorry for all of this......I hope you can forgive me.

Love Always,
Sam~

Sam reread her letter once before placing it in an envelope and sealing it. Taking a deep breath, Sam steadied her nerves. That was the hardest letter she'd ever had to write. She just hoped her parents would understand. Before she could let her brain wander further down that path, the door opened and Jordan walked in.

"Hey Sam, whatcha doing?"

"Oh not much......dying from bordom as usual..."

"Well, there's a frat party tonight, wanna go?"

"Um.......let me think.....NO! Sorry Jordie, frat parties aren't my thing...."

"Ah, that's okay......they aren't mine either. Why don't we catch a movie or something?"

"Okay, where's the paper so we can see what's playing?"

"Right here. I thought you'd want to do something." Jordan said smiling, "Oh......and Jordie??"

"Yea! Don't you think it's cute? You need a damn nickname girl. I was sick of saying Jordan......Jordie is easier."

"You are......totally bizzarre!"

"I know....so what have we got?"

"Nothing good....." Jordan answered browsing the paper, "why don't we go bowling instead?"

"Okay, I can deal with bowling."

As Sam headed off to find something to wear, Jordan smiled to herself. This had been her goal.....to get Sam out of the room. The girl hardly leaves. Rushing aroun, Jordan started getting herself ready.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hello guys, I'm Fatima and I'll be your choreographer," A slender young black woman said walking up to them.

"Hi, I'm Kevin.....this is AJ, Howie, Nick and Brian." Kevin said introducing them.

After they had all shaken hands they got down to business.

"I'm here to teach you guys how to move basically. This way you guys aren't just walking around the stage when you perform. Now I've listened to your songs and I've made up some routines to a few of the songs. For now, we'll work on your single. I'll show you the routine and then teach it to you guys.....deal?"

The guys just looked at each other and nodded. They all sat down and watched Fatima as she turned on the stereo. They all watched in awe as she began to move to the music. A few minute later she was done and standing in front of them again.

"Well what do you think guys?"

"You expect US to do THAT!" Nick cried.

"Yes I do....it's not that hard, really. Now come on, everyone up and we'll begin."

Slowly the guys stood up and formed a line, glancing at each other nervously.

"And a one, two, three, four......." Fatima began to count off.

After an hour, the guys still didn't have the first sequence down.

"This is gonna be a long day...." Fatima mumbled to herself, "Okay guys, take a break. We'll do this one at a time in 5."

Groaning with frustration, the guys collapsed on the floor in utter exhaustion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Sam......don't look now, but the guy to your right is checking you out," Jordan wispered as she stepped up to lane.

Sam didn't even make an attempt to look. She just watched Jordan try to bowl. It was definitely amusing. Jordan ended up with another gutter ball. Groaning good naturedly, Jordan walked back and stepped down from the lane.

"So did you look at him?"

"Who?"

"The guy who is still checking you out!"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because, I'm not interested......so why should I look at him?"

"How can you say that......he's gorgeous!"

"No Jordan. I'm not in the market to look for guys. I don't need nor do I want a guy in my life!"

"Calm down Sam.....you're starting to yell.......I take it you had a bad experience in the man department?"

"No.....I had a great experience.....which is why I don't want another guy in my life......"

"Okay Sam......whatever you say.....I give up trying to figure you out."

"Jordan, there's nothing to figure out......."

"YES THERE IS SAM!!!!" Jordan screamed, her voice raising.

"Jordan.....shut up....." Sam hissed under her breath.

"No Sam! As long as I've known you, you've always been either depessed or upset. Now what is wrong with you?!"

"Jordan!! Now is not the time nor the place for this. People are starting to stare!"

"Well let them stare!! What the hell is your problem? I'd really like to know why my roommate is an anti-social bitch 90% of the time!"

Sam stared at her in shock. She couldn't believe the stuff Jordan was saying.

"How about this.....it's none of your damn business!!" Sam finally yelled back at her.

By now they had quite a few people staring at them. Before Jordan could make a retort, the manager came up to them.

"I'm sorry girls, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave....you're disrupting the other customers."

"No problem sir.....sorry." Sam replied before turning to get her shoes. As she changed out of her bowling shoes and into her sneakers, the only thought going through her head was why. Why couldn't people just leave her alone? Once she had her shoes on, Sam gave the manager a 20 dollar bill before turning and walking out of the bowling alley, leaving Jordan still standing there.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, why don't we start one by one. AJ, come up here."

AJ looked at the others with a slight look of apprehension on his face.

"Oh don't look so scared AJ, I don't bite! I'm just gonna show each of you the first sequence....it might be easier to do that way for now. Okay, now watch me once and then we'll try it together."

AJ watched as Fatima went over the first sequence and then began to count off for him to do it. By the second try AJ had it down.

"Okay, and why haven't you been doing that for the past hour?!" Fatima asked slightly pissed off.

"I dunno.....it just didn't click until now..." AJ said softly while the other guys tried to cover up laughing.

"Sit down AJ.....Kevin, you're up!"

One by one, Fatima taught them the first sequence. Everyone seemed to catch on more quickly except for Nick. After another hour of trying with him, everyone was getting frustrated.

"Concentrate Nick!" Fatima snapped.

"I AM!! I can't do this okay!! Get off my back!!" Nick hollared before turning and storming towards the door and out of the studio.

Everyone just kinda stared at each other.

"I'll go get him," Brian said standing up.

As Brian went after Nick, the rest of the guys went up to Fatima who looked kinda upset.

"Don't let him get to you....he's had a rough past few months. We thought he was doing better but obviously we were wrong." Kevin reassured her.

Fatima just nodded her head and stared off in the direction Nick had run off in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian raced out the front door of the studio and looked both ways. He glimpsed Nick halfway down the block kicking a stone.

"NICK!!!"

Nick looked up guiltily and then back down again. Brian raced down the street after him.

"What is your problem man?!"

Nick just shook his head.

"Dammit Nick, answer me!! You just took out a lot of crap on someone who doesn't deserve it!"

"I know!! I'm sorry Brian...I just.......blew it..........again....."

"Nick.....what's wrong? I thought you were getting over her."

"No.....I just hide it all from everyone. I don't know how to get over her Bri. She's all I can think about....."

Brian didn't say a word, he just sat there beside Nick on the curb in silence.

"Well buddy, I don't know what to tell you. I've never been in this type of situation before. All I can say is that you need to watch your temper around people. You can't go off on people for no reason....or you're gonna make a lot of enemies that way."

"I know.....I guess I should go apologize shouldn't I?"

Brian just nodded. The two of them stood up and began walking back down to the studio. Once they walked in, the other guys walked away from Fatima as Nick walked up towards her.

"Um.....I just wanted to apologize for jumping down your throat. It was completely wrong of me." Nick mumbled looking at the floor.

Fatima tried to hide her smile as she watched how Nick squirmed under her look.

"It's okay Nick.....but that is the only time I will take such crap from you. If it happens again, I give myself the right to completely kick your butt or embarrass you beyond belief."

Nick looked at her shocked for a minute before smiling.

"Okay, okay, I get the picture....sorry."

"Okay Mr. Carter......you have dance to learn, come on."

This time Nick managed to catch on and learn the first sequence with ease. After that, Fatima had themall come up and do it as a group. After a few tries they managed to look halfway decent.

"Okay guys....that's all we're gonna cover today. Same time, same place tomorrow."

Groans could be heard around the room as the guys, sweaty and tired began splitting up to leave. After they all changed, everyone headed out to eat. They were starved. A few large pizza's later, they all headed to their respective homes, stuffed and sore. Nick barely made it up to his room before falling asleep......still clothed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam finally walked into her dorm room later that night after driving around town, thinking. Seeing as how it was late, she hoped Jordan either wasn't home or was already in bed. Pushing the door open, she saw such was not the case.

"Jesus Sam, where have you been!?" Jordan spoke in a rush.

"I really don't think that's any of your business Jordan."

"Look Sam....I'm sorry okay! I'm worried about you. No offense but you look like shit. You're always depressed and sad. I just couldn't take it anymore. I want to help you.....but I can't if I don't know what's wrong."

"Look Jordan.....please don't take this the wrong way......but butt out! It's none of your business. If you want to be a real friend you'll drop it and leave me alone."

Jordan stared at her with her eyes open. After a few minutes, she realized Sam was dead serious and nodded slightly.

"Okay......I hope you know that if you ever want to talk though.....I'm here......"

"I know Jordan....but I can't talk about this.....not now......"

Jordan nodded once more before turning and getting in bed.

"So Sam?"

"Yea...."

"Are things cool between us?"

After a few moments of silence Sam answered with a soft, "Yes."
Turning out the lights, both girls fell asleep, each with different thoughts on their mind.

---

Chapter Twenty-Three