~*The English Language*~

Let's face it

English is a strange language

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you

down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth

be phone beeth?

If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a

humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways

How can the weather be as hot as

hell on one day, and as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a

house can burn up as it burns down

And in which you fill in a form by filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes !

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

Which of course isn't a race at all !

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts

But when I wind up this poem it ends

~*By Anonymous*~