November 5 - December 25
December 25, 1998
Merry Christmas!
Well, here I am, coming to you straight from B-town itself, although not a model for ideal (in my mind) Christmas weather, it is home, so I guess that is good enough! It is rather balmy here today, while the rest of the country is at least 40 degrees...growl. One day, I WILL have my white christmas....one day! One of the most, um, interesting gifts that I got this year is an ever elusive Furby...after briefly considering selling it promptly for hundreds of dollars, I decided to keep the little fella. He's really cute, in a bizarre, strange way...he laughs when you tickle him, burps at the most inappropriate of times, and passes gas at will, followed by an evil sounding chuckle...which reminds me, I am really starting to miss Kev! HA! Just kidding, it was too good a joke to pass up though...:) Since computer access is limited from the old homestead, I have very little alotted time to play online...I am still trying to figure out if that is a good thing or a bad thing! I just wanted to record this momentous holiday in this journal for whatever posterity it may one day have! For now, I will leave you with the warmest wishes for the merriest of Christmases and a Happy New Year!!
December 9, 1998
Just a week and a half more, and I can have an honest-to-goodness break!!! I can completely feel myself shutting down. I got pretty sick for a couple of days last week, and then I worked my ass off studying for my MOD exams last weekend. Now I just can't get myself motivated to get moving again. I've been missing classes, and all I want to do is sleep. I know that I am just practicing avoidance. I was pretty productive today, so perhaps I can get back on track for the final haul! I got some Christmas presents ordered, and I sent out my Christmas cards today...I wish it felt more like Christmas. It is 85 degrees here every day, and I can't stand it! I would rather it be overcast and dreary, so I could at least pretend that it was cold! Just 2 and a half more years here in Miami...I must keep reminding myself of that! Other big news is that my team, the FSU Seminoles, is going to Tempe to play in the National Championship game! I am so happy! I can't believe how the cards fell just right for us to go! Someone up there is pulling for the 'Noles! Football is all but over, so that makes me sad, but I am glad that basketball is locked out...I really don't like it all that much! Kev is in finals this week, so he has been pretty busy with studying. He has had a final every day this week, starting yesterday. Although I would never want to go back, I can't help but wish that all of my hell would be over this week and not next! I don't know what I am going to do with myself this weekend. I know that I need to study, and I probably will, but the exams are on Weds. and Fri. so I don't have that time crunch motivator (a must for me). Kev said to come up to Orlando, but I know that I can't afford to do that. I wish that he could come down here, but he has a lot of things to do with work and his mom is going to be in Orlando this weekend, so it looks like I will just have to tough it out until next Friday. I know I can make it, but I miss him, and three weeks is so hard! I'm wimpy, I know, I don't care! Time is flying by so fast that we will be done with this distance thing before too long, so all I have to do is hang in there! It is more than worth it! I am a strong woman, I can make it through anything! Whew, I feel better already! I guess I'd better get back to work...perhaps I will get to update this in a more timely fashion soon! Bye for now!
November 30, 1998
Tomorrow it is December...this year is speeding by so fast, I can hardly believe it!! I got back from spending a very nice Thanksgiving holiday in Bradenton. Wednesday and Thursday I was all about the family thing...cooking, the Macy's Parade, football...the whole nine yards! I ate about 4 pounds of turkey all told this weekend, and it was great! I feel like a ball now, but so it goes. Friday was more football, trimming the tree, and decorating the house with the 1.2 million Christmas decorations that my mother has accumulated. I also got to meet Merin, a fellow Bradentonian and Solituder, at the infamous Applebee's, the place to be in Bradenton (isn't that sad?) She was just as cute and sweet as I imagined she would be, and we had a great little chat over a few drinks :) When I got home, I came across a wedding invitation to one of my dear friends from high school and college wedding. My mother had conveniently forgotten to tell me about it or send it to me, and the wedding was the NEXT DAY, on Saturday. I was furious, to say the least, because I had missed the RSVP, had no gift, or outfit, etc. etc. It was a big mess, but it ended up working out ok. Kevin ended up being able to come down to Bradenton to visit on Saturday afternoon, so in the morning my mother and I went shopping for both wedding and Christmas stuff. I got a gift and a great new outfit and some more Christmas gifts out of the way. I got back to the house, got changed and ready, and Kev got to the house just in time to change and to run out the door to the wedding. We weren't even late. Kev was so wonderful for coming along to the wedding (every guy's favorite way to spend time) of someone that he didn't even know. He is an angel. Anyways, I got to be there, the ceremony was beautiful, and I even got to talk to her afterwards. I gave her my address and phone, so hopefully we can get back in touch. They live in Orlando, and lord knows that I am there all the time! The rest of Saturday was spent with Kev, shopping, dinner, the movies, and various and sundry distractions which made me feel like I was in high school again (wickedly fun)! Even though it was short, I am so glad that I got to spend some time with Kev. We won't see each other for these next three weeks, and even though I know we will be very busy, I will miss him like crazy (I already do). Now, I'm back to reality here in school. I have no groceries (a good thing, considering how much of a heifer I made of myself this weekend). I have a lot of school work to get done, and absolutely no motivation! I guess I'd better find it somehow, or these next three weeks could be disastrous! I hope that all 2 of you reading this have a wonderful holiday season! Hopefully I can get some updates in, but I make no guarantees, as it is gettting down to crunch time around these parts! TTFN :)
November 24, 1998
Florida State, Florida State, Florida State....WHOOOO! We won, we won, we won! 23-12! Can you tell that it was a good weekend for me? Kev and I went up to Tally for the big game, and we had a great time! I didn't get home until yesterday, and I am still pretty tired. We had a lot of class today, and I have GOT to clean this hell hole otherwise known as my residence before I leave for old B-town tomorrow. Yup, I get to get back into my car and go home for Thanksgiving. It should be pretty nice, if my parents ease up on me a little and realize that I am 23 years old. They gave me absolute hell for going to Tallahassee this weekend, and I have no idea why. I had a test on Friday, so I didn't have to study, and I wanted to go. I have no responsibilities that would have forced me to stay here, so I don't understand why they gave me such a hassle. I can't wait to get out of school and on my own so they don't have anything to dangle over my head anymore. The next three weeks are going to be pretty hellish for me in school. It is a strong possibility that I won't see Kev for 3 weeks, maybe more. I don't want to think about that right now. I'm just looking forward to spending the latter part of the holidays (ie New Years) and our anniversary together. I'd like to get to the point where we can alternate holidays amongst our families together. That won't go over with my mother too well, I'm afraid. I don't think I have to worry about that until we move in togther, though....that's a while off, yet. I highly doubt that I will get back to this journal before Thanksgiving, so I will wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving holiday! Eat lots of turkey, I know that I will! :)
November 17, 1998
Happy Tuesday to all! It is a rainy, dreary day here in Miami, and I am trying desperately to motivate myself to study for yet another Microbiology test...will it ever end? Likely not. My test is on Friday afternoon, and then I am off to Tally for the UF-FSU game! I cannot wait! I'm driving up to Orlando after my test to pick up Kev, and then he will drive us to Tally. It should be a great time. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that my team does not give this game to the damn Gators again...we are long overdue for a win! Yesterday was 10 months for us. I can hardly believe how fast they have gone by. What is even harder to believe is how much more I love him now than I did just a few short weeks ago. It is an incredible feeling! We finally have our Asheville trip planned out..the plane tickets, the hotel, even the rental car! It is coming together very nicely. One year...craziness. I have been having some of the most bizarre dreams lately. Mostly about my sorority sisters and my old sorority house. It is really strange, and I don't quite know what to make of it. Dreams are just dreams, I guess. I so wish that I were well versed in dream interpretation. Wow, the rain is really coming down now. It should be perfect study weather, so why do i just want to sleep? Probably because it is more fun than reading about parasites, worms, and fungus. Yes, that is what my test is on...yummy. I can't wait to get through with second year so I can finally get on the wards. Perhaps I will feel more like a "real" doctor then. Now if THAT isn't a scary thought, I don't know what is! The helminths are calling my name, so I must retire to the books for now! I will do my best to get back to this page on a more regular basis...life is speeding by so fast, so I need to capture at least a taste of it, while I can!!
November 6, 1998
Now, don't die of shock just because I managed to write 2 days in a row! I just DO NOT feel like studying, and I figured that playing on line is the most viable excuse for wasting the time away. Actually, I am a bit put off because they teased us by suggesting that they might move our test to Tuesday, only to snatch it back and tell us that they weren't. It pissed me off, to say the least, so I am rebelling (even though it is really only hurting me to do so!) I am in a better mood today, thank goodness. The weather here helped that A LOT. It was beautiful...70 degress, sunny, breezy, it would have been perfect if I were somewhere near grass instead of ensconced in concrete! At any rate, I opened my windows and left them open all day. It was glorious. As I type, Kev is probably already in Tally, visiting with "the guys." I think it is pretty awesome that he has stayed so close to all of his high school buddies. He and his roomate went up to visit and perhaps to see the UVA-FSU game. I don't think that they got tickets though. I am jealous, jealous, jealous. I want to be in Tallahassee. I miss it sooo much! Ok, enough whining for now, I'll get out of this hell hole, someday. "Someday" is starting to become my motto and creed, I think. I've always tried my best to live for the day, but I find myself attaching someday to the end of my sentences more and more often. Interesting. Ok, well, my life just isn't exciting enough to write more than a few lines about over the course of 2 days, so I think I will let you recuperate from your shock and amazment and retire to the oh so exciting world of viruses...oh don't you wish you were me? You do, you know you do...admit it!
November 5, 1998
Well, I'll just bet that y'all thought I had dropped of the face of the earth, now didn't you? I have been a BIG slacker on this web page, I am truly ashamed of myself. It seems that a lot is going right out the window in favor of school and various and sundry distractions. I went to see Kev in Orlando for Halloween. We had a great time...we carved pumpkins, dressed up (well, that didn't last too long), ate lots of candy, and watched scary movies. A perfect Halloween weekend. I don't believe that we saw the light of day, and we are never, EVER, going 3 weeks again. Anyways, it was back to reality with my Micro test on Monday, which ended up being ok. I have another one this coming Monday, so guess who is procrastinating? You got it, yours truly. Actually, it has been rumored that the test may be moved to next Tuesday, which means that my procrastination may be well justified! We had horrible weather all yesterday and today because of Mitch, the storm that wouldn't die. It made for some great thunder and lightning last night though. I guess it must be the weather, because I am feeling really blah. I'm sure that part of it is hormones, but people are really getting on my nerves, and I can't quite pinpoint why. I think I just need some undivided attention and TLC. (Only child syndrome...I was the only child for 6 years, giving me plenty of time to become spoiled rotten). I think that I am afraid that I will be a mediocre doctor because I don't make medicine my life. I know it isn't healthy to make anything (or anyone) your life, but the gunners in my class are really getting to me. Part of me doesn't care, but there is that other, dormant, ultra competitive part of me that rears its ugly head every once in a while. That part of me got me here, and sometimes it gives me guilty pangs. I know that I have what it takes to be a good doctor, and if I really focused myself, I could be right at the top of the class. I do well enough not focusing. I don't know why I can't get it together, but all I can do is try. A lot of it is probably burn out. We have been in school since JULY, after all! No worries here, though, this too shall pass. This may sound funny, but I really think that if Kevin were with me, I'd be able to do a lot better. I wouldn't spend so much time missing him, and I wouldn't spend so much time thinking about what it would be like to be with him because I would be. We always want what we can't have, right? I know that I can be patient, and I can be strong....just not all of the time. I'm only human, right? Wow, what a depressing entry this has been. Sorry for the gloom and doom, kids. I don't often get to vent this side of myself to people. Everyone relies upon me to be the upbeat, happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care, kind of person. I'm not superhuman, I get pissy just like everyone else, I just don't want anyone to know about it. I guess I think I can handle it better on my own. Go figure...anyone want to be my analyst? Please?! Kidding! Ok, it is time to sum this one up, folks! wish me well, and hopefully I will be more faithful to my journal this coming week! TTFN!
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Email: owlfive@hotmail.com
