Tears of Shame--Chapter 2



The next few days passed very slowly. Raquel waited by the phone every day for a phone call from Howie.

When Saturday night arrived, Yvonne began to worry about her roommate. She entered the room and noticed Raquel was lying on her backside on the bed, starring dreamily at the ceiling. The sudden sound of the telephone made Raquel jump. She dove for the phone, which had been propped on the foot of the bed.

"Hello?" When she found out it was Howie, she couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice. "How are you?" she asked.

Howie was flattered by the excitement he detected in her words, "I'm fine, I was just calling to let you know that my insurance company is going to take care off all expenses…even yours."

Raquel gasped, "Seriously? But it was my fault!"

"Oh nonsense! I won't hear of it. What's done is done. Besides," he said quietly, "this is something I wanted to do for you."

His words rang in her ears. This is something I wanted to do for you. She couldn't remember ever feeling so flattered and…well so special. "Thank you," her voice trembled slightly with emotion.

"I…I would also like to see you again sometime…if…if you wouldn't mind…" he ventured shyly.

Mind?! she thought. She had to clap her hand over her mouth to refrain from shrieking into the receiver. She managed to utter a breathless "not at all," into the telephone.

"Ok, I'll be in touch!" he said politely, "nice talking to you! Bye!"

"Bye," she said quietly, hanging up the phone.

At this point in time Yvonne's eyes were glued to Raquel. When Raquel didn't say anything, but began dancing around the dorm room screaming, Yvonne took that as a sign of good news.


Yvonne poked Raquel in the arm, "we're heading over to the dining hall to get some grub…you aregoing to come over this time…right?"

Raquel ran her hand through her dark wavy hair. She knew that she was cornered this time. There was no way she could skip supper a third night and still manage to go unnoticed by her friends…especially Yvonne.

"Yeah," she said slightly annoyed as she saved her progress on the computer.

Raquel's stomach churned when the familiar smells of grilled hamburgers and french fries encompassed nostrils. Lately, just the sight of the dining hall made feel nauseous, because she knew just how little her ample weighted body needed food. She felt guilty for eating anything.

Raquel made a beeline for the salad bar, and sought out her dinner. She carefully placed three leaves of lettuce on her plate, a couple slices of tomato, and was about to put croutons on top when she remembered that she had already eaten enough bread for the day. Raquel blushed when she saw that Yvonne was obviously making a mental note of what was going onto her roommate's plate, "For the love of God, girl…use some damn croutons!" Yvonne also managed to get her friend to grab a container of yogurt and an apple.

Raquel looked around the vicinity, trying to detect any wandering eyes, or perhaps some eager ears. Not wanting her bold friend to make a scene (and it certainly wouldn't have been the first time, nor the last time), Raquel hastily dumped some croutons on her salad. Every time someone looked at the food on her plate, she blushed in shame, knowing full well that she didn't need all the that food.

The two made their way through the crowded cafeteria with relatively little trouble, although Raquel was still embarrassed about the food that everyone seemed to notice her carrying.

"You know Raquel, guy's hate skinny girls!" Yvonne said as they settled in their usual section of the dining hall. As if to contradict this statement, a tall extremely thin Asian girl walked by, arm in arm with a very handsome frat brother.

Raquel raised a single eyebrow at Yvonne. As subtly as possible, she pushed the croutons on her salad over to the side. In despair she watched the willowy girl take her seat.


"D…just call the girl…she must know you're interested!" AJ McLean said, peering at his friend from over the rim of his shades.

Howie, never known for being as bold and forward with women as AJ, didn't understand this logic. "There's a difference between showing interest and sacrificing your pride," Howie said pensively, still staring at the phone.

"Well D…you wait too long and before you know it, you'll have wasted all the time you could have spent being with her because we're not sticking around the States much longer."

AJ had a point. Howie and AJ, along with three other buddies of theirs, were in a pop group known as the Backstreet Boys. They had released their first single not too long ago, unfortunately it barely made a ripple in the charts. Their manager, Lou, had decided to let the boys have a try at fame over in Germany.

"But that brings up another point, Bone." Howie said, using the affectionate nickname AJ had been awarded because, although he had a healthy mesomorphic build, he was still bony by nature.

AJ looked at him expectantly.

"If we're going to be gone for three months there's no point in starting something," he said.

"Your call D," he said.


Raquel wanted to cry when she got on the scale. It had been a week. An entire week had gone by. Still no call from Howie…and she had only lost a pound. One pound. This is insane!! She though in despair, examining her form the mirror.

She was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Frowning, she picked it up. She had a feeling it was Yvonne's boyfriend.

"Hello?" she said irritably.

There were a few moments of silence before she heard a man clearing his throat, "Hey, is Raquel there?"

Her heart pounded in her chest, and the blood rush moving through her head was so loud that she could barely hear her own voice, "speaking," she squeaked.

"Hi! This is Howie. So…what are your plans for this weekend, Raquel?"


Chapter 3